Midnight Pals: A Bad Look (Patreon)

Tom Monteleone: hey everyone did you hear me on that podcast?Poe: oh which podcast?Monteleone: I think it was called “Groyper Final-Solution and Loli Wendy’s Mascot Present the 14 Word Retvrn Cast” Poe:Barker:Lovecraft:King: umKing: what did you talk about

Tom Monteleone: trans people are satanic, black people have it too easy, and they/thems… Monteleone: don’t even get me started on the they/thems!Monteleone: and while I’m at it what about that cloud?Monteleone: [shaking fist at cloud] why you, I oughta---!!!

Poe: whoa tomPoe: I’m afraid we don’t brook with that kind of thing herePoe: I’m going to have to take your caricature down from Mt. SlashmorePoe: and I’m pulling your favorite song outta the juke boxMonteleone: gasp! Not “The Monster Mash”!!Poe: you are no longer a graveyard smash, tom

Lovecraft: i-I really don’t see what the big deal isPoe: howard I’m going to need you to be quiet nowPoe: really, for your own sakePoe: nothing you would say now is going to do you any good

Monteleone: whoa whoa whoa, everyone’s mad? Hey look, I apologizeMonteleone: but also trans people are satanic and black people have it too easyPoe: waitPoe: whats the point of the apologyPoe: you just said it againKing: yeah I think we’re all a little unclear on what’s happening here

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersMonteleone: I was just explaining how I think it’s about time that white men got their dueShelley: do you nowPoe: now, mary--Barker: no no no noBarker: I think mary should talkPoe: yes butBarker: we should definitely be elevating womens voices right about now don’t you think edgar

Monteleone: I’m just tellin’ it like it isShelley: you got a lotta opinions, nerdShelley: I got an opinion tooShelley: [flipping switchblade] right here Shelley: [juggling switchblade] be a real shame if something were to happen to that HWA lifetime achievement awardShelley: like if it got stabbedShelley: [stabbing HWA lifetime achievement award] oops my hand slippedMonteleone: nooo! Not my HWA lifetime achievement award!Monteleone: I need that to live!