Midnight Pals: Facts & Logic (Patreon)

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersMary Shelley: my little man percy here’s got a storyMary Shelley: and you’re all gonna sit and listen to it okay?Mary Shelley: alright tell your story percyPercy Shelley: yes dearMary Shelley: you fuckers are gonna love this Lord Byron: [tossing hair] ah mary now you know if you want a real story, a story of dashing derring do from a real manMary Shelley: shut the fuck upMary Shelley: maybe I wasn’t clearMary Shelley: my little man here is fucking talking now

Ben Shapiro: sir sir sirShapiro: excuse me SIRShapiro: so now apparently sir you think the devil is “cool”Percy Shelley:Mary Shelley: I’ll handle this, percyMary Shelley: the devil fucking rules, you little nerd Shapiro: [huffing indignantly]Shapiro: sir!!! Sir!!!! SIR!!!!

Shapiro: what’s the deal with Shapiro: well sir apparently “transgressive poets” like Shapiro: like this percy shelleyShapiro: they think the devil is “cool”Shapiro: sir! SIR!!! Shapiro: perhaps you didn’t know SIRShapiro: that actually SIR if you read your bible SIRShapiro: the devil is ACTUALLY the VILLAIN SIRShapiro: hmm looks like I just ran rings around youShapiro: with facts AND logicShapiro: SIR!!!!

Mary Shelley: who the fuck is this nerdBen Shapiro: SIR!!! SIR!!! Calling me a nerd is anti-semitism sir!!!Mary Shelley: which one of you dorks invited this little shitKing: it wasn’t our idea mary!Poe: he just started showing up after he wrote that book about voring democrats

Ben Shapiro: sir!! Sir!!! Sir!!!!Shapiro: maybe you didn’t know this SIRShapiro: because the devil is bad actually SIR!!!Shapiro: therefore I don’t understand SIR!!!Shapiro: why transgressive artists keep using him in storytellingShapiro: SIR!!!! Shapiro: why can’t you tell some nice stories instead Shapiro: about how Israel never did anything wrongShapiro: and also about vore Shapiro: SIR!!!

Shapiro: actually this is cultural MarxismShapiro: and also woke moralismShapiro: AND political correctness run amokShapiro: it’s all three SIR!!!Mary Shelley: I’m going to stab this little shitMary Shelley: and I’m going to stab whichever one of you fuckers invited himBarker: it was howardLovecraft: m-me???Mary Shelley: [shivving lovecraft] that scans