Midnight Pals: Legally Mandated Podcast Experience (Patreon)

JK Rowling: hello childrenPoe: okPoe: JKRowling: you don’t ssssound very thrilled to ssssee me edgarPoe: well it’s justRowling: perhapssss you’ll be more thrilled after you read thissss court order I bought requiring everyone to like me

JK Rowling: I hope you’ll all catch my new podcasssst appearanceRowling: the witch trialssss of JK RowlingRowling: you’d better catch my appearanceRowling: if you know what’ssss good for you Stephen King: joanne, what are you saying?Rowling: I’ve had my lawyer write up a legally binding order that you will lissssten to the podcasssst or I will sssueKing: what’s this red stain hereRowling: jusssst ignore that

Rowling: I’m going to be on megan phelps-roper’s podcastRowling: because I believeRowling: if there’ssss anyone who will give me a fair ssshakeRowling: it’s gonna be the wessstboro baptissst church

Rowling: each of you will ssssign nowDean Koontz: gosh, okPoe: no dean don’t sign thatPoe: joanne really? You can’t make dean sign thisPoe: you know he doesn’t know what these words meanKing: should I sign?Poe: no steve you really shouldn’t either

Mary Shelley: sup fuckersRowling: mary you’re jusssst in time to ssssign this legally binding contractRowling: that sssay you’ll listen to my podcassst and in exchange I won’t sssue youShelley: Shelley: someone done told you wrong

Rowling: perhapsss I wassssn’t clearRowling: you WILL hear from my lawyer if you don’t sssignRowling: and asss the firssst woman writer, your refussal iss alssso misssogynyShelley: Damn I’d better check with my lawyers firstShelley: [kissing fists] they’re partners in the firm of FUCK and YOU