Midnight Pals: Holy Matrimony (Patreon)

Koontz: i don't want to!!!King: dean you're overreactingKoontz: no! no!King: dean its brian and mary's weddingKing: you have to look niceKing: let me tie this tieKoontz: [exaggerated choking noises]King: dean it's not even that tight!

Barker: are you guys almost readyBarker: we're going to be late for the weddingKing: give me a second, i'm just tying dean's tieBarker: oh my godBarker: just get him a clip-on and let's fucking go

Lovecraft: [reading invite] sangiovanniLovecraft: isLovecraft: is that an italian name?

Poe:Poe: uhhhhBarker: yes it is howardBarker: yes it isPoe: clive this is really not thePoe: you know he's going to make a scene cliveBarker: yes

SanGiovanni: everyone welcome to our weddingSanGiovanni: and dean koontz! don't you look handsomeKoontz: [sullenly] my suit itchesKing: dean! i've had just about enough of your attitude, young man!King: really, i just don't know whats got into him today

Maurice Broaddus: if we can beginBroaddus: where's the groom?Brian Keene:Keene: wait a secondKeene: [checks socks] Keene: oh! here I am!

Maurice Broaddus: if anyone has reason that these two should not be joined in holy matrimonyBroadus: speak now or forever hold your peaceLovecraft: [sweats]Lovecraft: [sweating intensifies]

Sonia Greene: what a lovely ceremony!Greene: don't you agree howard?Lovecraft: [sweats] iLovecraft: do you know sangiovanni is an italian nameGreene: yes howardLovecraft:Lovecraft: doesLovecraft: does brian know 

Lovecraft: someone should tell himLovecraft: what will the children look likeLovecraft: like a hybrid race of fish monsters, that's whatGreene: howard how many of these champagne flutes have you hadLovecraft: i've just been drinking harmless postum this whole time 

Brian Keene: truly ours is a love as long as the clitellum of an earthworm godKeene: as strong as the carapace of a monstrous zombie crab Keene: forged in the blazing hellflames of the centralia mine fireMary Sangiovanni: we wrote our own vowsMaurice Broaddus: yeah i can tell

King: congratulations brian!King: where's the happy couple going for their honeymoon?Brian Keene: the butte county earthworm soil factoryKeene: some of the worms are almost 8 inches long

Mary Sangiovanni: haha very funny you know we're going to the Tom Bishop Chicago International doll house Miniature Show Keene: 8 inches! imagine!

(A big IRL congrats to Brian & Mary on typing the knot!)