Midnight Pals: A fable (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: today i want to introducce a very sspecial guessst- john boyne Rowling: author of the boy in the sstriped pajamassss John Boyne: ahem, that's the boy in the striped pajamas colon a fable Boyne: get it right!

Boyne: listen up people Boyne: Here’s a tip for anyone interacting with a novelist online Boyne: you can say our books suck  Boyne: you can call us bad writers Boyne: you can say we’re stupid, ugly or fat Boyne: you can say we're bald Boyne: you can say that we're lazy...

Boyne: you can say that we're plagiarists Boyne: you can say that we whitewash history Boyne: you can say that our work actively makes people dumber Rowling: where are you going with thiss Boyne: hold on i'm working up to something Boyne: you can say that we smell bad

Boyne: you can say that we're liars Boyne: you can say that we're pigs Boyne: but the one thing you cannot say is that we're cis Rowling: Rowling: well sssaid! well sssaid!

John Boyne: look, i wrote this really sympathetic book about how hard it is to be related to a trans person Boyne: i mean, if you think about it, being related to a trans person is really hard Boyne: probably harder than being trans Boyne: that just stands to reason

Boyne: anyway the trans didn't appreciate my hard work, so i don't like them now Rowling: how do you feel about the jewsss after they didn't appreciate the boy in the sstriped pajamass Boyne: ahem you mean the boy in the striped pajamas colon a fable Rowling: yess yess of coursse

Boyne: look i just think it's my duty to speak to the true victims of the holocaust Boyne: SS officers who might be really sad if they accidentally killed their sons when they meant to kill jews Boyne: i'm getting misty just thinking about it Boyne: [wiping tear] those poor guys

Boyne: i don't believe in the word cis Boyne: i just thought it was really important i weigh in on this controversy Boyne: this is in no way a diversion from my other scandals Boyne: my new book is about a guy trying to buy lamp oil, rope & bombs but he doesn't have enough rubies