Midnight Pals: Graham's back (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: lisssten graham linehan hassss a new manifesssto coming out Rowling: i mean memoir Rowling: ssso it's very important  Rowling: that we all pretend that he'sss really hot

Helen Joyce: dark lord? Rowling: you all know the terf deatheater code Rowling: "when you find a dude who agrees with you on transss genocide, it isss your sssolemn duty to act like he'sss jussst wildly fuckable" Rowling: i mean, thatsss jussst bassic feminissm right there

Helen Joyce: but dark lord---! Joyce: the graham linehan...Joyce: he sleeps in a racecar Rowling: i have sspoken Rowling: when he getsss here Rowling: you all better act like your dang pusssiesss are on fire

Graham Linehan: [practicing speech in mirror] "thank you for this award" Linehan: "it is a tribute to this great movement that a man once shunned as a deranged embarrassment could win back your trust"

Graham Linehan: i'm meeting the dark lord tonight, i better wear my best shapeless mom jeans, the ones that really show off my flat hollow ass Linehan: maybe wear it with a nice tent-like polo shirt, one that just hangs off my stomach like a blouse Linehan: now that's fashion!

Rowling: when he getss here, i want everyone to jusst act like he's god'ss gift to women ok Maya Forstater: but dark lord Rowling: maya you ran a hate campaign against a cartoon alien, i THINK you can at least do thiss

Graham Linehan: [wearing tinfoil hat] free masons run the country Rowling: wow it'sss weird how all the exact ssame sstuff he sssayss that ssounded insane to me 3 yearss ago now sseems really ssenssible and mainsstream Rowling: mussst be cuz i'm ssmarter now