Midnight Pals: Muse (Patreon)

Anna Helen Crofts: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this is a little story that me and howard wrote togetherBarker: you and howard? how'd that happen?HP Lovecraft: oh we've been looking for a project to do together for a while

Edward Lee: bro you hanging with anna helen crofts now?Lovecraft: yeahLee: broLee: sonia greene, winifred jackson, hazel healdLee: how are you pulling all this quality tail?Lovecraft: i don't know, i'm just being myselfLee:Lee: bro that doesn't make any sense

Crofts: ok so this story is about a woman who reads a poetry bookCrofts: and she has a dream that the gods themselves appear to herCrofts: and they're all 'babe, we got some great news for you'Crofts: you're so hot that you're gonna fuck some inspiration into the world's greatest poet

Crofts: the gods are all 'check it out'Crofts: 'you know Dante Alighieri? William Shakespeare? John Milton?'Crofts: 'morons!'Crofts: 'the guy you're gonna fuck is SO much better'

Angela Carter: a woman's just there to be a muse for a great man, huh?Carter: why can't a woman be a poet herself, I ask you?Crofts: no angela you don't understandCrofts: this chick is SO hotCarter: that doesn't figure into itPatricia Highsmith: naw i think it does

Crofts: me and howard wrote this story togetherBarker: oh did you now?Poe: cliveBarker: i can tell, cuz it's definitely got all the usual hallmarks of a howard storyPoe: cliveBarker: i bet howard really contributed a lotPoe: clive

Crofts:  wouldn't that be great to be a museCrofts: a poet looks at you, he's all 'this chick is SO hot'Crofts: 'i can't NOT write the world's greatest poem'Crofts: if you think about it, howardCrofts: that's kinda like you and me, don't you think?Lovecraft: yeah i guess

Crofts: something wrong, howard?Lovecraft: noLovecraft: no it's nothingLovecraft: its justLovecraft: that isn't really the direction i thought our collaboration would takeCrofts: what's wrong with it?Lovecraft: it's just kinda mushy

Crofts: ok howard well next time we'll write what you want to writeCrofts: in fact, hereCrofts: why don't you use my beauty as inspirationCrofts: i'll be your museBarker: ah ha haBarker: oh honeyBarker: oh sweetieBarker: have you read any of howard's stories?

Crofts: write me, howard, write me like one of your squid girlsLovecraft: [sweats] ok um soLovecraft: [sweats] so in this story there's this girl, okCrofts: what's she likeLovecraft: indescribableCrofts:Barker: ah aha haBarker: nice save