Midnight Pals: House (Patreon)

Paul Jessup: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the glass houseJessup: and this house?Jessup: let me tell youJessup: it isJessup: so hotJessup: you will want to fuck this houseKing:King: uhBarker: shut up steve let's see where this goes

Shirley Jackson: [mumbles]Mary Shelley: shirley has a question about this houseJessup: yeah?Jackson: [mumbles]Shelley: she wants to know how the bricks meet thereJessup: firmlyJessup: they meet firmly

Shelley: zat right? what about the floor?Jessup: the floor is neatJackson: [mumbling more excitedly]Shelley: yeah yeah i'll askShelley: what about the doors?Jessup: all sensibly shut

Jessup: this family is moving into a houseJessup: and, boy, this house is just perfect for themJessup: just so perfect for themJessup: so hot and horny for themJessup: just wanna walk through your tight wet doorways, houseJessup: local slut houses are waiting for you

Jessup: oh! house! shh, i have a secretJessup: time for some home repairJessup: oh no it looks like you got a leakJessup: oh no it's getting everything allllll wetJessup: tee hee heeKing: umKing: are you talking to the houseBarker: shut UP steve let's see where this goes

Jessup: so this family moves into this sexy houseJessup: but who's more messed up? the family or the house?Jessup: the dad previously made a documentary where he buried his daughter alive in a coffinJessup: which, you knowJessup: kinda fucked upShelley: i could take itJessup: yeah well we're not all you, mary

Shelley: i could be buried in a coffin, no problemShelley: it'd be fun, i'd enjoy itShelley: i'll do it right now if any of you fuckers have a coffin aroundPoe: can we please not talk about thisShelley: why not edgar? you scared?Poe: no i justKing: yeah edgar's got this whole thing about being buried alivePoe: i do not have a thing

Shelley: oh yeah sorry i forgot you were scared of thatShelley: i forgot you were a big blubbery babyShelley: a big blubbery scaredy babyPoe: look iPoe: it just makes me uncomfortableShelley: aw lookit edgar he don't like being buried alivePoe: it's a perfectly reasonable thing to dislike!

Shelley: let's do it, i'll do it nowPoe: well no one here has a coffin soCharles Addams: i have onePoe:Poe: why do you have a coffinAddams: you know, for sleeping inPoe:Poe: yeah ok why notAddams: chicks dig itPoe: sure fine

Jessup: but get thisJessup: there's a ghost in the houseJessup: namedJessup: mater suspiriumDario Argento: eyyyy mama mia!!!