Midnight Pals: Desert Planet (Patreon)

Stephen King: so i'm gonna go over to space coven tonight to tell a storyClive Barker: what, the sci fi nerds? good luck with thatKing: oh they're not so bad once you get to know them, cliveBarker: i do not intend to know nerds

King: look, clive, you know mary goes over to the sci fi campfire sometimesBarker: i do not believe itKing: it's true! she invented sci fi, you knowBarker: mary shelley? OUR mary shelley? the queen witch?Barker: she invented being a nerd?

Barker: oh steveBarker: you can't expect me to swallow that whopperKing: it's true! edgar, tell himPoe: steve's right, clive. she really didBarker:Barker: well now i just don't know what to believe

King: i know those sci fi guys are a little odd butKing: if you ever want to read a prose version of a mildly confusing math problemKing: i mean bam they're your guys!Barker:Barker: yeah wellBarker: have fun with that

King: you know, clive a lot of science fiction actually deals with important issues in today's society?King: they really make you think[at space coven]Robert Heinlein: so once we space-stead Pinochet's Gulch on an asteroid, we'll be free from the tyranny of age of consent laws

[at space coven]King: so in this story they invent a way to travel through spaceKing: but you have to be unconscious for it to workFrank Herbert: i have a better idea for space travelHerbert: what if you had to get really blasted

Herbert: let me explain my vision steveHerbert: In a distant timeHerbert: And far away placeHerbert: The planet Arrakis floats deep in spaceHerbert: Sky of three sunsHerbert: Land of precious spiceHerbert: The melange rush brought great houses at any price

Herbert: Then one day, a Muad'Dib appearedHerbert: With powers of hawk, wolf, puma and bearHerbert: Protector of peace, scion of the Bene Gesserit ladiesHerbert: Champion of justice, Marshall Paul Atreides!King: King: hey how many of those mushrooms did you eat

Herbert: so the important thing about Dune, okay,Herbert: is there's all this political intrigueHeinlein: and worms?Herbert: yeah yeah there's gonna be wormsHerbert: let's talk about these factions thoughHeinlein: how big are the worms

Herbert: you're gonna love this storyHerbert: though its not as great as the melodic beauty & divine truth of the 114 surahs of the Qur'anHeinlein:Herbert: inshallahHeinlein: why do you always have to put so much islam in itHerbert: i justHerbert: i just think its neat

Mary Shelley: [busting into clearing] sup fuckersShelley: who's ready for their weekly beating?Heinlein: no! no! not mary shelley!Heinlein: have mercy!!!Heinlein: here, take all our lunch money!Heinlein: just don't punish us anymore!

King: mary! Is this what you've been doing when you come to this campfire?Shelley: [wailing on Heinlein] what? oh yeah, p much.