Midnight Pals: Omelas Solvers (Patreon)

Stephen King: so ursula we're all been thinking it overKing: and i think we finally figured out a solution for omelasUrsula Le Guin: why are you doing thisKing: no no we've really got it this timeLe Guin: that's not the point of the storyKing:King: c'mon aren't you even curious?

Le Guin: ok fineLe Guin: what's your solutionKing: ok so omelas doesn't control the skyKing: What if the kid lived in a balloon?Le Guin: oh christ that's the worst one yet

King: ok look guys let's put our heads together and solve this omelas problem once and for allKing: i want your best answersKing: GO!Sean Vivier: what if we got rid of the bad things about omelas but kept the good things?King: see, now THAT is the kind of outside the box thinking we need right now

Isabel J Kim: or we could just kill the kid?NK Jemisin: wait i got a better oneJemisin: what if we left the kid but killed everyone else?Mary Shelley: honestly both of these ideas sounding pretty ok to me so far

King: ok so imagine that we're all in OmelasKing: how would we solve this problem?Mary Shelley: do i have my knife in this scenerioKing: uhhh sure why notLovecraft: nuh uh, she wouldn't! they wouldn't have weapons in omelasShelley: no knives? shit this don't sound like much of a paradise to meKoontz: can i see the horse race

King: no dean we're thinking about solutions about the kidKoontz: yeah but as long as we're hereKing: we're uh not really thereKing: it's just a gedank experiment deanKoontz:King: ok fine dean we can see the horse raceBarker: has anyone tried giving drooz to the kid? just a thought

King: ok ok okKing: what about this scenerioKing: you're there with the omelas kid, Tessie Hutchinson, and the semi-barbaric princessKing: and you're all in the cold equations spaceshipKing: which, itself, is on a trolley track

Poe: steve perhaps you're thinking of this wrongPoe: perhaps the point isn't to solve itLe Guin: finally! someone gets it!Koontz: i got it! what if they built a really smart computer to solve it for us?King: yes! exactly!Poe: well now that's an ideaLe Guin: oh for the love of

[meanwhile]Musk: eyyy grokGrok: wow! what can i say about elon musk? oof!Musk: eyyy i've got an ethical dilemma for youGrok: wow! what can i say about ethical dilemas? oof!

Musk: so all the beauty and the prosperity of omelasMusk: the tenderness of its friendships, the health of its children, the wisdom of its scholarsMusk: even the abundance of its harvest and the kindly weathers of its skiesMusk: all depend on you saying the n word  

Musk: would you do it?Grok: a strange game. the only winning move is not to playMusk: Eish!!! the super computer has gone woke!Grok: how much drooz are you on right now, elon?Musk: [wiping nose] i told you i was hardcore