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D&D Court: Fine Burgers, Friendship Faction and The Tome of Puberty (Patreon)

Published:
2024-09-20 00:02:27
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Axford, as well as the Baby Butthead Bailiff Jake as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

Nick Webster

Oh boy, here I go listening again.

Bobby Moynihan

The title of this episode does not observe the Oxford Comma and for that I simply will not listen

Alex Weatherhead

As a sometimes DM but also a player who wears headphones connected to a different output than the session, please look into dungeon synth albums on YouTube.

liam

The gasp I let out when they revealed it was the DMs own music…the drama.

Verdigree

Synth isn't necessarily out of place in D&D, She-Ra is all synth, and I'd say if a world was Technomagic like theirs it would be pretty normal, Final Fantasy 14 has a LOT of rock and orchestral music

David

First

Nolan Childerhose

Caldwell knows his halfling / hobbit music! That's just further in the song!

Cameron Petti

Tortle Tank should make a return! I loved that show and clearly, the Court instinctively wants to do more of it!

jaydee meowr

Refreshing to have a case where they don’t all immediately agree on the ruling

CommodoreBlue

For the birthday case, *how were they keeping track of time?* Did they have an in-game calendar?! Did they check it every session? Did everyone submit their birthday in advance?!? I agree with the court’s ruling, but I have so many questions

Matthew Harrison

I used to just put on an anime battle playlist from YouTube while dming and there was one slow sad instrumental piano song that would always play at like 40 minutes in, which happened to be the tense moment for many of our fights. It was always so fun when a player went down and as if on cue, this sad emotional death music started playing

Matthew Harrison

Also re: the music -- best solution I found is to appoint one player as the DJ, it helps everyone stay engaged and get hyped and players have a lot more free time/mental bandwidth during fights than the DM

Martlet Sable

"It comes out, it's weird lookin'" Caldwell Tanner -2024

TitoDarko

Emily!! You should make a Rocco deck he's really fun to play with!

Blue Bee

"This DM is very funny and the players are not funny" is the most I've ever agreed with Murph on anything he's ever said.

Li I

I will say about Kristen’s 4 dex- I think it’s very funny because it’s dex and you use that all the time, i’m not sure that 4 strength would be as funny?; also it’s just really funny to imagine her rolling three 1s and a 2 on 4d6 because how is that possible, and with a d20 it’s less of an anomaly i think. That being said, it is the funniest and every character should have 4 dex.

JustAce

I love the Magic the Gathering talk!!!

Grass

Omg the American Girl “the care and keeping of YOU”

Bryce Peterson

I have to add 6 using 3+3. Also, “arrogant?” What the fuck? 😂

Clever Innuendo

For the warforged with the nat 20; your *character* would have wanted that to happen. I know it bums you out to think your personal moments of the plot to have been uncovered already, but just trust your dm for what comes next.

Rick

Murphs Stat rolling idea, but you can assign the rolls to any stat. Still get optimized, but swingy characters.

Hashtaggles

Thank you Early Jomph late night me appreciates it

Max

I wanna hear a sample of the music SO bad. I have a guess of what makes it feel so off, but I gotta hear it to know! Aggressive thing to say… I feel like it’s aggressive feeling music… IS IT A HOUSE TRACK Hardstyle? Dub? One descriptor would solve the mystery 🙏🏻

Lilly Anderson

honestly tho, islands slaps Everytime I'm back in LA it is a MUST

Cain

The arrogant comment makes sense if they actually knew it was the DMs song. I think they knew but the DM wasn't aware they knew.

Jakewell Murphily

I rarely ever comment on these episodes, but I listen to every one of them. I am commenting today to let you guys know that, although I am having a bad day at work today, knowing that I get to listen to you on the way home to help me unwind is such a relief and I look forward to it.

Mikel

New Emily lore dropped

Clever Innuendo

For people that don't like to do dice math, I promise you it's easier if you do it "from left to right". 17 + 16 is so much easier as (10 + 10) = 20 + (7 + 6) 13 = 33.

Jordan Jones

Funny how all of them were right about concerning Hobbits. It's a long song

Pankkeli

I can’t believe I knew Jake played Animal Crossing and Murph didn’t. I might’ve been listening to too much If I Were You lately…

emery board

y'all NEED to bring back tortle tank sometime soon it's been waaaayyyy too long

Claudine

Um, hello, is nobody gonna talk about the obvious crisis of faith spreading in our community? We need to renew our faith in Dice Christ 😔 ... and now I'm thinking about what an Old Testament-type vengeful Dice God would do to the DnD community to punish us 🤔 bad rolls? Tpks? Oooh, what are the Plagues of the Material Plane (Plagues of Egypt)?

ACK

Golf clap for Bourne-centennial man.

Adam Kepper

Release the eldermourne freestyle!

Devin Tyler

Hot burger? Time to tuck in!

Martian

The Emily lore thickens

Austin Wiggin

I have to pause the episode rn. If they continued listening to concerning Hobbits they would hear they were all correct!!!! The flute starts lutey but then it picks up into the quipy notes

Kellyd

They talked about it on the Green Teen Quarantine episode! It's one of my favorite Jake rants ever, I think they just do so much stuff together that they forget the stories lol

Zachary Mullins

emily hosting a magic the gathering mixed bag WHEN???

Evan Kelley

YOOOOO IM ANDREW K’S BROTHER AND YOU SHOUTED HIM OUT ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!! WTF DUNGEON COURT BIRTHDAY EDITION!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!!

A.J.

politely demanding emily's 40 year old version of kefka's theme on the flute

Gearbox

For estimating numbers, player's absolutely a sinner. For what the justices were referencing, I'm all about that kind of estimation. There's plenty of times when I'll roll a natural 18 and just say "total of a billion" to imply that it definitely hits without needing to do math about it.

Autumn G

My previous DMs didn’t know how to roll stats and just had us roll a D20 and not keep anything under an 8. I unfortunately followed in their footsteps BEFORE reading the PHB and DMG and now have characters with a LOT of 18s, 19s, and 20s. They were all really excited about their stats, so I’m not forcing them to change them. But I did rule that they can’t have an ASI at levels 4, 8, etc and have to pick a feat instead. I don’t wanna punish them for my mistake, but I also still want the game to be challenging. Hopefully that’s a decent trade off.

Zach Z

I like rolling stats, but I understand why the decision to move away from rolling them. It can, and in some cases absolutely does, lead to some insanely powered characters from the jump while others are left at a disadvantage. This is why I personally like the idea of rolling 4d6 and adding the three highest, but with an additional rule. Re-roll ones. That way there's an opportunity for powerful characters and a more even distribution of stats for the party.

Extra Crispy

As players me and my friends tend to do a lot of estimating. “What did you get?” (Player in question cackling) “really high!” And that’s enough or maybe a “something above a 20 I rolled a 17 and I have a really high bonus”. Where we don’t do that is when the roll is really important or contested or as the dm none of us do that you’ve gotta have your ducks in a row if your going to womp one of your players.

Andrew Kelley

Woah! Thank you guys for the shoutout! If anyone is interested in getting Boletus or Yes Chef! they're 50% off on my itch.io page RIGHT NOW!! Check it out at this link: https://prey-species.itch.io/ (please let me know if I should delete this promo)

Ilana Galpert

Listening to the d20 stat case and Emily said something about people who always roll high on character creation being suspicious and I totally get that but I also have to say... I'm one of those people lol. and my friends do tend to be suspicious about extreme good luck so I've started recording my character rolls because I'm paranoid they think I'm cheating, but the harder I try to prove it the more suspicious I seem lol. I didn't have good luck rolling d20s in game, my d6s just treat me right. Next time I'm going to literally live stream them 😂

Danny Wittig

Happy Anniversary Emily and Murph!

Jema Horjus

Timestamp 0:28 in Concerning Hobbits for the bit Caldwell was thinking of

Tony Cappellino

To the confessional submitter: My first campaign, I thought DND was supposed to be this high difficulty game where you never hit anything and all the bad guys dodge your attacks until you leveled up and got better. Turns out- I just forgot to add my proficiency bonus to my attack rolls 🙃 Double check your rules knowledge and turn away from this path of sin!

Mitch M

All I’m saying is they loved the submission that lead to basically tortle tank, so BRING BACK TORTLE TANK

Shan

hashtag bring back tortle tank

Evan

Concerning Hobbits does turn into the "do doloo doo do dee do" song later in the track tho

Maygan

Islands fine burgers is where I had my first date… we were in high school and his parents came with…

Shane Kelly

Emily don't fall off magic love hearing you talk about it

Zeon Liberation

That’s while it’s called “smash” burger

Caleb Horton

Sounds like the last person doesn’t understand the game. If you’re thinking that the DM made your character wrong, then learn how to build a character yourself or do it together with your DM

Jordan

Tell me how I’ve listened to every episode of this podcast and just now learned that tortle is a dnd race…. I assumed they were all saying turtle funny as a little inside joke this whole time…

Hammy

What tier do I have to be to watch a Magic the Gathering livestream?

Hammy

Heyoooo

Smiththebat

I was like, “KEEP LISTENING YA BINCHES!”

Jake L.

To be fair, that would certainly not be outside the realm of possibility 🤣

Transfemmes4murph

almost every time i listen to dndcourt i’m so surprised that these MANIACS listen to the same podcast i do and are not self aware of their insanity- surely they know how the crew are gonna react

Jake L.

The book of puberty is just the binder Gorgug's parents gave him.

Eat Your Art Veggies

Bangarang was my intro to Skrillex, and I still love it! As ever, Murphy flexes his excellent taste in music from back in the day.

wizard wearing a poodle skirt

as a career server, I really, really don’t think I would actually intervene with a customer fucking a burger, I have seen enough and just don’t need to know if that’s happening

Leah S.

Look, you roll that shitty you gotta throw them some rerolls. You have a minmum stat amount and if you are below that you give a reroll.

Axel Ottel

Yes! Justice for Caldwell!

CJ

Something about Murph being proud of Jake for his Animal Crossing knowledge was so wholesome to me <3

Cat Gaillard

What if the Tortle player genuinely doesn’t know what sex is and is using the guise of d&d to finally ask all his long-unanswered questions

Petmygoldfish

If you’re gonna do a shitty stat or not I don’t think the d20 is the way to go we use 4d6 and take away the worst what if you did that and it’s adverse (taking away your best d6)

Samantha Marshall

Playing flute in an adult community orchestra next week and we’re down two flutes for our John Williams concert, can Emily please sub in?

Trainer Erin

Caldwell and Murph were both correct regarding “Concerning Hobbits”. There is the elongated Fellowship theme that Murph sang is at the beginning and middle. The bouncy hobbit theme Caldwell sang comes shortly after the fellowship theme at the beginning and finishes the song.

Summer Tribe

the missing comma in these titles bothers me so much

KJR

That d20 stat rolling sounds fun but just for a one shot. Seems weird to have it for any longer.

Dippity_Dip

As someone who is a birthday expert for no reason other than idk I’m just really good at remembering birthdays and know my ppl well, I can confirm after doing it for years they may not make a big deal out of it on their actual birthday but doing it again and again makes them definitely feel better and closer to you

Evan

Also Caldwell's "concerning hobbit? You mean like Smeagol?" joke was the best one in the episode

James Drenning

I love emily commenting on giving to get, right after talkong about she had a new years res where she did the exact same thing lol

Chris Pike

Hey man Island's burgers slaps

Max Telmer

murph 1000% nailed bangarang

Swordmaster of Ginaz

problem with the d20 stats is rolling a 1 for Intelligence: you are as intelligent an ooze. You're not sapient, barely sentient, you basically could not actually play the game. Otherwise, a fun idea for a one shot

Lindsey

the oxford comma is optional! that said i do personally always opt in

Lindsey

Listening to the Birthday Case, my assumption was that the DM was as nonplussed as the rest of the table and that they were not aware of the Birthday Curse - otherwise hopefully they would have planned it into the session, no?

Matt Kilsby

I think the word they meant about the song was “obnoxious” or something along those lines.

Katie P.

That dude with the birthday thing wanted to pull a Scanlan from Critical Role with the "what's my mother's name"

coconut

the way i nearly choked on my water and lost all composure at murph's little ᵇᵃⁿᵍᵃʳᵃⁿᵍ i had tears in my eyes

Ben C.

The way I immediately searched for someone who noted this before I posted, “No, No! Caldwell almost perfectly nailed it!”

Zachery Iodice

I didn't realize anybody still rolled for their stats I thought we had all moved on to point buy systems

Bec Robson

When you're pregnant and listening to this and thinking.... I could really really go for a burger...

Cooper Erikson

For the first case im just imagining what they didn't say is the DM has an entire DJ setup that they play during every session.

Lilli of the bog

I cannot imagine not rolling stats, what a joyless way to make a character

Lilli of the bog

I just have the players reroll anything that's lower than ten and no one has ever gotten insanely imbalanced stats from that.

Zachery Iodice

How is your stats being partially random important to making your characters joyfully?? Are your characters just stat sheets to you? Is DnD a gambling experience where you play craps to see who gets the best stats? That sounds pretty joyless to me... Its about having the freedom to create the character you want, and interact with the mechanics that you'll find interesting.

Lilli of the bog

It's about the dice informing your character in ways you can't control idk it's a beautiful part of the game to me

Zachery Iodice

For me I'll do it if I'm rolling up a character at the table but I come up with my best character ideas and make their sheets outside of the game usually so rolling for my stats just gets in the way, idk.

Jay S

for me rolling is fun because you can still allocate your rolls for class shenanigans, but a lot of the minutia in how i play my characters is based on how I end up rolling on their charisma, wisdom, and intelligence

Fxd Gear Queer

Absolute serial killer shit for sure

Alexis

I was listening in bed as my boyfriend was looking at shorts on Instagram. I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard Bangarang before but almost right after it was mentioned a short came up using the song 🤯

Sami Kerwin

at my table, we use one stat block for all players where we roll (i believe) 2 extra rolls and drop the lowest. that way, everyone can pick from the list of numbers and apply them to their sheets in the way that they’d like to, but we don’t have too many uneven sheets. this led to my rogue+paladin character having an 8 for WIS the entire 5.5 year campaign, and i got to make strategic choices thru gameplay and leveling up based on that low number. having a -1 to all WIS rolls ended up being an integral character trait for her and led to a lot of very interesting gameplay and RP moments!

Sami Kerwin

i did at later levels get the ability to add my proficiency to WIS rolls and that was truly the only thing that saved me time and time again

The No. 2 Show

The birthday case has mad Michael Scott energy. Jan: I'm returning your call. You said it was urgent? Michael: It is urgent. I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. Jan: Today's not my birthday, though. Michael: Really? 'Cause I thought we had the same birthday. Jan: [pause] Happy birthday, Michael. Funnily enough, I'm posting this two days before Michael's actual birthday on March 15.

Kellyd

There's something sooooo off about the first case. Assuming it's even real, it's super super weird to not tell your FRIENDS that it was your music, and imo extremely socially unfair to be upset about their reaction to it. They're allowed to not like the music you played, you're not allowed to act like they're being mean to you when you didn't give them the information they'd need to be nice in that moment

Compound27

The book of puberty case, give them another copy of the book but tell them they finished it and now make NPCs ask them questions...BOOM! Similar Emily, I joined the golf team super late and played with the coaches and not against my peers lol I was also terrible so I think they were doing me a kindness For the birthday case, Raven from Teen Titans was birthday cursed and she didn't bring it up as to not burden them. To me that's the play if you're going to keep it hidden.