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D&D Court: Polymorph Romance, Cruel Rakshasas and The Problem with Jaguar Johnny (Patreon)

Published:
2025-04-25 04:13:27
Imported:
2026-06
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AD-FREE EPISODE FOR $5+ PATRONS!

Dungeon Court is back in session! Join Justices Murphy, Tanner and Also Hurwitz I Guess, as well as the Flawless Bailiff Axford as they convene to pass judgement on your trials at the table!

CREDITS:

Sound Mixing and Editing by Trevor Lyon (Watch Trevor's Short Film Here!)

Dungeon Court Theme Song by Sam Weiller

Files

Comments

Ron A.

First!

Grass

Flawless bailiff is right!

Tiffany

Wooooo!!

Doctor Ransom

All Hail the Bailiff Worm! Long may she reign!

Kork Horf

Playing Oblivion right as this dropped this is amazing

Benjamin P Parson Gomberg

Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart once said “I know it when I see it” in his attempt to define pornography. It’s nice to see Justice Murphy carry on that tradition with his determination that “It looks like fucking to me”, when he scrutinized a cloacal kiss during his first case today.

kaylee w

first off absolutely how dare you

Clever Innuendo

I have a Volcano, you can smoke God with me any time, Caldwell.

Lindsey

Could the rest of the party not have simply stabbed Chicken Jake, thus bringing it to zero hitpoints and reverting their friend back to her original form in order to enter the tavern. I personally would not have done this because I would not stab a chicken but still.

Cain

Anyone else think Jaguar Johnny was the name of a guest?

Pop

as someone who deeply cared about her friends birthday i am weirded out by forgetting the dates but i am under 26…

Charlie Morris

I’m 26 and my name is Charlotte and my birthday is soon. This episode is wild for me

austinoxner

Thank you for your service honorable justices and (checks notes) bay lift?

Ligilos

I legit almost looked him up

thaesimir

Finding out Jake's birthday is the same as my son's is wild. I'll never forget his birthday no matter how much I try

Mikel

The resignation in Murph's "I don't know how this works" realising it's too late to stop talking about chicken sex🤌

Nye-Low

Kids in the Hall Chicken Lady 🤣

hellohallo

26 is also the oldest you can be on your parent’s insurance, so this totally makes sense.

Tavitafish

One time a dm killed me twice in a session, but I fully deserved it and we had a really fun resurrection mechanic. The first one I snorted a line of glass shards, the second I jumped out of an airship

Zanna

I'm 25. My next birthday is the last one that matters I guess lol

Hugo Wull

…can we get that pin you mentioned in the aarakocra wing case?

Marley McDonough

Is cloacal kiss the name of the birdlesque club?

Hugo Wull

I had an excellent player once who made a character that was the opposite of Jaguar Johnny. Quincy Cumber was an inept old man who only ever did things by accident; for example a critical hit with a crossbow was actually the bolt knocking a vase off a shelf and clocking the baddie on the head.

rosebramblewolf

I think if you want to put aarakocra wings on a tavern menu, you can do it, but as soon as one player says it's fucked up, the burly aarakocra chef comes out of the kitchen all, "You don't like my cultural cuisine?"

yeow

I’m 25 going on 26 in July… fuck

tautcarabiner

Wait until Emily finds out about a chicken saddle

rosebramblewolf

Nature maintains balance and I think that's beautiful.

Terrell Swanson

Clearly the justices are missing something about Jaguar Johnny. Jaguar Johnny is, obviously, a reference to Nathan Drake from the Uncharted series. In the games during gunfights when you get shot, the screen starts to turn gray and you keep running around until you get hit enough to die, or so it would appear. Canonically, Nathan Drake never gets hit. The screen starts to change color to indicate, not that you've been hit, but that your luck is running out. Drake doesn't actually get shot until his luck fully runs out. I think this kind of system could definitely work as a replacement for HP in D&D.

rosebramblewolf

Caldwell's is the same as a boyfriend I had in middle school.

Nicolette Taylor

Listening to this on my 26’th birthday feels personal

Ricky the Moist

For the record. I named my son after Kingston Brown and Elias Stormborn and he was born on Oct. 3rd. What a coincidence that’s pretty neat

William Blankenship

For the calling dibs on loot case. I handle this by not saying all the items at once unless it’s for the full party’s use. I usually make them roll investigation with no dc but for smoke and mirrors. Then I just go one by one and say “Charcter 1 you lift the led of this chest and see a + 1 sword blah blah” so no one can claim dibs. Only the player who I give it to can be like “hey I don’t want this anymore anyone else want it?”

Benjamin Hake

I just turned 26, and I can say, the day came and went without much huff. But I am taking a guy's trip next month to celebrate, so, y'know

Patrick Sullivan

I love Beverly, Caldwell is awesome. That said, I wouldn't have been mad if Murph straight up ganked Beverly.

Bryce Peterson

For real though, “This is a Person” merch would be amazing.

Rebecca N

Man, I just turned 27 last week too... Though I wouldn't have had any big plans for it except my roommates made me

JustVeryMundane

My job sends out monthly calendars with any major events , including birthdays - y’all should start doing that with NADDPOD

jaydon

i know jakes is august 5th bec in one ep idk which he said its 14days before august 19th and my bday is august 6th so its vary close

Hannah

i’m never ready for shit like cloacal kiss lmao

ChefJustinLane

The literal worst shoutout for my city lmao rip Charlotte 🤣

hobblelobble

26: The birthday you’re booted from your parents’ insurance and the year you’re in charge of your own birthday… a raw deal if ever I saw

LJ E

Listening to the birthday talk was beyond weird... Do u guys not have calenders to remind u? Why wouldnt i care for a friends birthday, especially if i saw them regularly during a campaign? Obviously the dice agreed with me soooooo👀

Lauren

I have the same bday as Murph and my brother has the same bday as Jake. Fitting as I’m the strong smart oldest sibling and he’s a little wiener

Rin

I never comment on anything, but upon hearing that I share the auspicious birthday of the 5th of August, I simply must. I swear undying allegiance to you my Lowly Liege!

No Plan Anne

She would probably adore the pretty little ruffled dress ones

No Plan Anne

I completely misinterpreted the question and was very confused during the ensuing conversation. To me, the question was "is it okay to serve [an] aarakocra [an order of] wings at a tavern?" I likened it to humans eating chimp and orangutan, which many but not all humans find disgusting.

Lia

Johnny Jungle and that campaign has the flavor of newer X-force, with Johnny almost being Domino like, love that Also the dynamic shift between the paladin dad smiting to "how far is cannibalism" is peak dnd party examples

Gearbox

Going against the DM of all people for the magic item case is one of the most blatant examples of anti-dm bias in the show so far.

Pamphleteer

Learning Murph's birthday in this episode is the first time I've ever considered that the zodiac might be real, because I was born exactly three days after Murph, same year, and I agree with 100% of his takes.

Stefan UrKILL (Figgy)

and then there’s the sad fucks whose parents didn’t make any deal out of their birthday, and now in their 30s they don’t know how to ask for a nice birthday (it’s me i’m the sad fucks 🥴)

Peregrine

I turned 22 on Tuesday the 22nd Shout out to the 2 crew??

Landon McKee

As someone that is from Charlotte, North Carolina, I vote that we are on your next live show tour

FusRohNahSon

I mean HP does not mean blood or flesh, its will to fight

Mortimer Lunch

"Alright let's get Murph's wrong opinion out of the way real quick" followed up by "Let the wrong man speak!" was DIABOLICAL. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Jenn

Y'all. I desperately need the, "This is a person," aarakocra sticker in the merch store. Pretty please I beg of you.

Josh Wolff

I also clocked it and yelled "LIBRA POWER" in my car

Evil Grimace

So in reference to the last part: I only use Instagram; If I wanted to make some fan art of the show, would it be best to only @ Naddpod? Or to @ your individual accounts? I just don't want to overstep my bounds by annoying you on your personal accounts. Or maybe I should only use #hashtags?

Ross Begg

In regards to the "Dibs Case": This is EXACTLY what Attunement Requirements are for! No fault to our Justices, Murph has said before that due to the format of DnD that they play, attunement doesn't play a huge role in their campaigns. However, they were right on the money to rule against the DM, because a custom homebrew magic for a specific player absolutely should have attunement restrictions for the specific player. It felt crazy listening to it as Caldwell briefly skirted the concept at the end with the wisdom saving throw, but yeah, set the attunement requirment Aarakocra and have it spit out hair whenever a non-bird trys to use it. When the aarakocra uses it, sharp feather daggers fling out.

Ross Begg

This particular case is so easily solved with an attunement restriction though.

Ross Begg

Truly the shift in perspective after Aabria's guest spot has been so far reaching.

William Blankenship

True but that gets odd later on. If you mean by the slots maybe it’s so early not all filled. If you mean attunement by a specific class or race it gets weird. I like leaving that alone so if my players want to willingly give each other items that’s fine but not fight over them at first. But that’s very true! That is very helpful to make it clear which character should have this item.

sarfs

I always remember Murph’s birthday! (It’s the same as my sibling’s)

Prager Paints Minis

Expecting your friends to make a big deal of your birthday as an adult is very weird. If I want it to be a big deal then I’ll invite them to do something and make it clear it’s because it’s my bday. But I’m also almost 40 like the crew.

Matt Davis

I approve of the ruling on the Rakshasa case - the whole story sounds rad. But I do think an Insight check is in order, to put the question in mind of how someone who didn't know the passcodes could have gotten. Then the players have another chance to suss things out.

Alec Posta

Murph's Garbage Takes = new mixed bag format? No idea what it would entail but you gotta admit it's a strong title.

Toree P.

As a 34yo, I always get sad when someone close to me misses my birthday. 🥺 I love how they jumped from, "Nobody at the table acknowledged my birthday," to "At a certain age, nobody else is gonna make a big deal out of your birthday." 😅 We're just asking for a text, man! Just put it on the calendar as a repeating event - it never changes.

Toree P.

There's a difference between wanting an acknowledgement and making a big deal out of your birthday. Their friends didn't even send a text, and that sucks.

Tyler Wood

I agree, but the idea of Jaguar taking a Dragons Breath Attack and flipping away with no visible damage is a little silly.

FusRohNahSon

that would be silly, he'd use his cape to block it

Rainemaker

If it can tell you not to, it's cannibalism

Daniel Baskins

I NEED a few shot where Emily plays Jaguar Johnny

The Grinch (feral)

This is so funny bc this and the short rest came out on my birthday lol. But as a freshly hatched 22 year old, if you want people to remember your birthday you need to make it clear far in advance that them remembering is something important to do. And if you want to do an activity or do cake or something, unless someone steps up and is like “dw I got this shit” it’s on you to plan shit esp if it’s with your friends. Like legit I planned all the shit I wanted to do for my birthday, but bc I did that my friends and partners are more than happy to make that happen. Like I just sent my gf to go get me cake bc we’re celebrating once I get off work, but like, I picked the cake. So like yeah. Just warn your friends in advance, don’t try to “test” them to see if they remember, half of them will not, not bc they don’t love you but bc they are adults who have their own lives and their own shit

Alec Rudek

What a treat it was for the group to discover a term as insane as "cloacal kiss"

Hugo Wull

Plenty of items require attainment by a specific class as well, or based on alignment. I have found class attunement restrictions particularly helpful.

hobblelobble

Upon hearing this I spent 4+ hours of my day drawing a cloacal kiss punk rock chicken musician (kloacal kiss). 2 Crew, you’ve been inspiring as always. posted to the subreddit for anyone interested in cursed yet hilarious art

Courtney F.

Happy birthday hatchling!

Courtney F.

Shout out to your 2 2s! Happy birthday!

Courtney F.

Did anyone else clock Jaguar Johnny being a flat Faerûn-er? 😂😂😂

LJ E

Gotta agree with the comment above, where did I OR the submitter say they want it to be a big deal? A text isnt too much to ask, or when they did meet again after a simple "omg it was ur birthday right? Happy belated birthday!" would have been more than enough. Also the submitter explicitly didnt try to hold it against them eventho they were hurt, but the dice certainly did ^^

LJ E

Finally, a friend🥲🙏

Cosmopunk

So the first story is Sword in the Stone Squirrel fucking rules. Got it

Anthony

Ok but does anybody else remember Moonshine constantly wildshaping into a Heavily Pregnant horse early c1, then giving birth to a foal that was never mentioned again? Or was that a fever dream? 😂😂

Melaninja

I feel like the player who called dibs got off too easy. Being a new player aside, I think just calling dibs in any situation is a social faux pas, it’s selfish, really.

Melaninja

Rogues and Monks literally do that.

The Wizard Stream

Listening to cloacal kiss while I eat is an experience I've unfortunately had now.

Crits

i turn 26 this year. much to consider

James Bowers

I can't believe i have the same birthday as the honorable justice Tanner

The Wizard Stream

Turn 26 in a a few weeks, need to plan something you're right.

Professor Pratt

The thing about just narrating the character’s death without announcing the stakes is that it reminds me of the “choose your own adventure” books. Turn to page 69, “you die.” It doesn’t translate for a TTRPG. I agree with Murph, the DM dropped the ball.

Professor Pratt

Gives a new take on chef’s kiss👨‍🍳💋

Professor Pratt

Laughing out loud alone in my car at “last words is oops”. I pray to have these as my final words! How fucking epic! Surrounded by loved ones at the hospital, having lived a good long life, “it’s time to say goodbye to your father” Doctor turns off life support, I somehow rally enough to say “whoops.” Flat-line……….

Professor Pratt

I refer to an earlier Dungeon Court comment. As a teacher with the peanut free 2nd grade class: birthdays and cupcakes are not what is all cracked up to be for kids who has a birthday in the summer. Jake I’m August 7..

Nitzan Harel

In an adventure a long time ago I remember investigating a gnome mafia that had a front, which was a tavern serving whore bacon. Yes, it’s what you think it is.

Alex Herndon

This episode is unhinged. Got into the gamer fuel again.

Desiree

i'm turning 27 next weekend and on most days i have to take a second to think about what age i am. and just when im used to being 26.... it changes lol. that being said i usually keep a calendar of birthdays on my phone for all my friends so i wont forget to send them a text!

Ilana Galpert

the chicken jake concept hasn't flown the coup yet. imagine: 20-21 days after the rooster encounter, human jake's stomach is bothering them. They go to the privvy and push out something...weirdly smooth? look down. That's an egg, and its cracking! Look, I see a feather, a beak, a...nose? does that beak have human lips? It cracks a disturbingly human eye and opens its beak/mouth. Did it just say "mommy?"

J. Gro

Caldwell and my husband are birthday twins! Also, if you're old enough to vote, you're in charge of your own birthday. Welcome to adulthood!

J. Gro

That's why you give them a day to celebrate an unbirthday!

DM Dennis

Quietly puts all their birthdays in my agenda 👀

Jared G

i just want to point out that Emily's new years resolution was to be better about birthdays

Penny Garbo

I always remember Merphs birthday, it's the same as mine!

Kelley

"Let's get Murph's wrong opinion out of the way real quick" I'm dying 😂

Carl, The Lubricated

Crazy that I listened to this episode on my 26th birthday by chance

Sand Panda

I'll add everyone's bday to my calendar if I knew them. I mean.. I got Mr. Toads' marked down...

William Holland

It's not Dice Christ influencing the bad rolls, it was a polterdice!

The Wizard Syndicate

Just because dm’s are “hosting the party” doesn’t mean they have to control every conversation that’s happening. It sounds like one of the players jumped the gun, another player handled the interaction, and they were moving on. Having the dm step in would have been like calling for a teacher when the students are handling stuff. Everyone at the table is an adult. They can handle their own stuff.

Danny Storm

Aw Murphs birthday is full metal meangirlchemist day

Sofa loaf

I would say if you throw parties for everyone else and they don’t remember your birthday it’s a little shitty. OR if they celebrate everyone else’s birthday except yours.

Kal and her cats Portland, Star, and Berlin

I frequently forget my birthday BUT some years I luck out and it’s also on Mother’s Day, and my sister is 4 days before me, so that helps. I recently booked a flight to visit friends and look at apartments together, and they said “oh shit that’s your birthday too!” And since I don’t talk to my family that much, I had straight up forgotten 🤣 but, in my defense, I’m post 26 so it’s on me now

Kathryn Martin

41:00 The Case of My Loot That I Made For Me. Did everyone at the table get the option to design their own loot? If not, I know I would be a jealous PC baby. Another strike on the DM lol

Summer Tribe

Jaguar Johnny is totally in the right, their interpretation has been supported by the rulebooks for 40 years

Jourdan

I'm unsubscribing from Patreon because of the horrible ruling in the Jaguar Johnny case. This is not sarcasm.

Miranda B, Crick DVM

I’ll be at the Hollywood bowl! I’ll bring my copy of “hey you up” just in case 😉

Batsy Boi

Oh shoot, I turn 26 in a month, by law I have to stop caring about my birthdays XD

ScanmanRT

Thank you so much for the judging my case! I will be sure to freeze my DMs tea into a block that he will then suck on while trying to describe my future character’s deaths.

Davybouy

Happy birthday to Caldwell! Hooray! (I'm in Europe, I assume it's the 19th in the US)

Bartis

Murph said “cloacal kiss” while I was eating eggs :(

Cooper Erikson

"Birthday's are like assholes, everyone has them" needs to be on NADDPOD merch.

cary grant

this episode is not in the D&D Court collection folder?

Hunter Leach

This isn’t in the folder :(

The No. 2 Show

Today I learned Murph has the same birthday as my wife.

HeyYeah

this episode is not in the DND court collection

martiniimakes

This episode needs to be added to the D&d court collection!

Kozai

“Let the wrong man speak!” 😭😂🧡