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(WIP) I Love The Kinda Woman That Can Kick My Ass (Patreon)

Published:
2025-11-24 02:40:44
Imported:
2025-11
Tags:

Content

Donnie-boy meets Eva Lynn Hefton, his future fiance, back in the early '80s. Eva meanwhile wonders who gave this moron permission to speak to her. I promise his hand isn't on her butt, it's just a weird tangent I gotta fix. Think I might wanna write a short story to go along with this one >:3

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Comments

SketchyBug

The biblical need I have for Eva rn…

MEllegoo

Write it write it!!!

Jewell H

I wanna put these two under a microscope and study them

Calastor

God Eva is absolutely STUNNING

Queenie

YEAHHHHHH EVA!!!!!! I love your aquatics and semi-aquatics with every fiber of my being, I fear

Gleeman and Artist

Yeah I love a woman who can kick my ass, too. The one thing I got in common with don haha Also I'd love to read a story (or long) story with these two. I love terrible characters because they're so fun to read/write about

Kenzie Leong

I was going to say Eva could give Ms. Piggy a run for her money, but then I thought, why pit two bad bitches against each other?

Alex

God I love Eva so much, happy to see her. Yay strong powerful waman 🥰 The dialogue for a conversation seems like it could be funny and cringe, or maybe it would be laden with sarcasm and undertones. Either way I’m sure Don gets skinned by the time she’s eventually done with his shit

Alight

To clarify, 1.) Dannie proposes to the woman who served as the (rightfully) antagonistic divorce lawyer to his boss, 2.) And Eva gets with the man who took advantage of her godson in a delicate time, which eventually resulted in said godson trying to drunk himself to death to the point of hospitalization. Am I.. missing. Something? Or is Eva just more uncaring/uninformed than I assume?

Alight

I guess there’s a possibility that they were fiancés *before* all that happened, blep.

lopoddity

This scene is happening in the past, before Toffee is even born, before Merry and Eleanor are married. Merry, Ellie, Don, and Eva are young adults in college here, this scene is occuring in the early '80s. Don still has all his hair and his trim waistline here. :3

pinkyubus

welcome to another episode of things i didn’t think could be canon but am SO glad that they were- if you do wind up writing for this id eat it up

Alight

Aaah, okay, I misinfered the description and thought ‘this was them when they were young’ [pause] ‘they eventually become fiancés’, my error was in assuming the later point was after they’re all well into their careers. My apologies for the crude assumption.

WAr

In the world of fuzzbutts is it possible for hippos to not be on the chubbier side? Or are they just an animal that have to be fatter? How do other animals feel about them? To clarify I am not a hater I’m always delighted to see different body types , especially ones like Eva that look closer to mine lol.

Robo87

Somewhere else Merry just woke up in a cold sweat and a feeling of dread and doesn’t know why

lopoddity

Hippos, like many large mammals, are genetically predisposed to being massive. Most hippos have big, deceptively soft-looking bodies that are actually made up of a massive amount of muscle mass hidden by a small layer of fat padding. Eva may appear fat (because she is), but she's also quite bulky and very, very strong. Hippos place a lot of cultural pride in being big and strong, and curvy & beefy bodies are their ideal when it comes to what is considered attractive. Pretty much every hippo celebration is centered around eating and sparring. Hippos can be skinny though! It's rare, but it can happen. They tend to look a bit awkward, with disproportionately small, thin bodies compared to the large size of their heads. Hippo society doesn't treat them very kindly. :/

lopoddity

Merry: You CAN'T date her Don! 😡 Hasn't it occurred to you she's EVIL?? A monstrous she-beast, a conniving, treacherous JEZEBEL, a slimy sea-witch wider than she is tall! She's got loose morals and a mouth full of sass an' cigarette smoke- not to mention she could snap yer spine just by stepping on you! Don: Don: ...So are you gonna list any actual drawbacks or

Lammergayier

She's so far out of his league it's not even funny

owlcoholik

Get on top girl if he dies he dies

gamigami

godDAMN!!!!! move over Don, unlike you i wouldnt dare bother this woman with the unworthy sounds of my words or be as conceited as to make eye contact. i would merely bask in the ethereal glow of her presence, as all should. know your place, worm

gamigami

also also. considering Eva had a lot to say about Eleanor getting with Merriweather, does Eleanor have anything to say when Eva gets with Don?

lopoddity

Eleanor thinks Don is a slimeball. :/ She can't stand the guy-especially his loud, crass sense of humor and barking seal laugh, and she thinks he and Eva bring out each other's worst, most hedonistic tendencies. She brings this up to Eva exactly once, to which Eva smugly remarks that it was all well and good for Eleanor to neglect their friendship to fawn over Merry Meadowsweet's crusty ass, but the moment Eva gets a little romantic attention, suddenly it's worth an intervention? Hmm. It leads to the nastiest fight the pair have ever had, and for months both women stubbornly refuse to apologize. In the end they do manage to reconcile, with the agreement that neither will voice their opinions about the other's paramour. And so, Eva grins and bears it through years of Merry being The Worst, and Eleanor clenches her way through Don's bad jokes and lame flirting. Eleanor can concede that Don does seem to at least make Eva happy (at first), and that the pair are more alike that she'd like to admit. Still, she's ecstatic when Eva finally dumps Don after a decade or so of procrastinated plans to wed. Though she's there for her bestie with much-needed gallons of ice cream, secretly she's so fucking relieved she'll never have to go on another double date with that creepy leopard seal.

Ren

Donnie in his slutty little crop top. Too bad Eva aint impressed. Gonna take more than some slimy smchoozin to impress a GODDESS

Lammergayier

So what you're saying is she wouldn't even come anywhere within and atom's width of thinking twice when it comes to murdering the shit out of Don if ever she were to find out what transpired between him and her son

Lourenzo Dasilva

So was Don already a Deacon at Merry's church when he was dating Eva?

lopoddity

Yes, but also no. When Don and Eva met, they were just young adults in college. Merry was Don’s roommate, and he worked a part-time gig at a local church. The pastor of said church dies, and Merry seizes control. Merry drops out of college to run the church, with Eleanor following right behind him, leaving her law studies behind. With him as worship leader and Eleanor lending her gospel singing talent, they steadily grow the dinky little church into a massive congregation. Don studied psychology in college but eventually drops out when Merry offers him a well-paying position as church counselor and his effective second-in-command. Eva is the only one who completes her college education, becoming a successful attorney with a career fully independent from Merry's church. Don wasn't a deacon when he met Eva, but he becomes one as their relationship progresses.

Robo87

But then Don later fucks her son So 🤷‍♀️ *a finger on a monkey’s paw snaps shut*

Scyllarus

The only time we all stan with Don is when he's looking at Eva. I'm kind of curious - I assume Don is just a big ol ho, but does he even have a type? There's a big difference between Toffee and Eva, and you've mentioned he's philandered around the church when people have gotten divorced. My best guess is that Eva is what Don would go for if he wasn't...dumb about his other ego bits, and Toffee (or someone like Toffee) feeds the bits of his ego which want to look like a big man?