Ailana’s Journal — 2026-01-27 (Patreon)

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GOOD MORNING

Looking at this picture, you can see how I feel. But, I need to add that I’m at a loss to describe exactly what I’m feeling.

But I can tell you why I feel this way.

Yesterday, Jason and I made our plans to get married official, ring and all. We’re aiming for early June and see no reason why that won’t work.

It has been a long path, and even those of you who have been around for a long time might not remember everything. I’ll take this morning to review.

Jason and I met in 9th grade at Lowell High School in Lowell, Indiana. We became friends immediately, and on New Year’s Eve our 10th grade year—at midnight 2013—we kissed for good luck—both of our first kisses. Though everyone at school assumed we were dating, it would be fall of 2014, going into our senior year, before we realized we’d been exclusively dating since—at least—that kiss.

We dated through college even as my modeling opportunities began to give Jason pause. Nothing vulgar, but bikinis and lingerie models made what I thought to be liberating sums of money. He was still processing when he accepted a year-long invite to a mission trip.

When he returned to a pharmacy rep job—and COVID—our schedules became prohibitive. We drifted quietly apart—our love was not lost; just dormant. We both went on a few dates amounting to nothing.

A year ago, I wanted to tell the story of my life. I reached out to Jason to ask about sharing an important event that he was part of. A little later, he reached out and asked if we could meet… just to see what might happen.

We have been together since. More than once, it has been pointed out that we never broke up. We never dated anyone else. And—believe it or not—neither of us ever kissed anyone else romantically.

Our marriage was delayed only by my confused ideas of what being a wife looked like—my mother abandoned me when I was eleven. It took Dad calling me out: “Is ‘fine’ good enough?”

I immediately knew we could do better than “fine.” And last night made it official.

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EARLY LUNCH

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Let’s just say this is an early lunch. Or if you’d rather, I’m having a sandwich as a second breakfast.

I wanted to share a post just for the IG Subscribers and Patreon. So when my stomach nudged my brain, asking for food, I decided I’d just give in to both thoughts at the same time.

I got carried away with the sandwich construction, so I cut it in half (more or less) and will save the rest for later.

I’m not going to try to say anything profound here. But I will say how blessed I feel that I’m able to just come to the kitchen and make food on a whim. Not everyone can do this—and there were years I couldn’t either. Maybe I accidentally made this a lesson about being thankful for things we take for granted.

Meanwhile, a few of you are asking about my comment from the Good Morning post. I mentioned that neither Jason nor I have ever kissed anyone else romantically. I’m surprised that people are surprised.

I was never in one place long enough to even think about a romantic relationship. Jason was traveling too.

And… Well, deep down, I just buried my feelings (as I do) and never closed things out with Jason. Maybe I always knew… hoped… things would come back around. Like they have.

But since I bury my feelings and guard my thoughts, I never articulated that. Until now.

FOLLOW UP

I am getting a little work done. I’d get more done, except I’ve been fielding replies to questions about something I said in the last post. Clay is a good example.

He and Sasha came up to talk about our plans for Korea. As we wrapped up, it was clear he had something on his mind.

“Ailana, can I ask you something?”

Sasha elbowed him. “I told you to wait.”

“I can’t help it…”

“What is it?” I asked.

Sasha helped him out. “He’s surprised you said you never kissed anyone romantically besides Jason.”

“I guess I need to say what I mean by ‘romantically.’ I mean having feelings for someone and kissing as a result of the feelings and to make them stronger. I never had feelings for the few guys I went out with, and if I were to estimate, there might have been like six or seven good-night kisses total—maybe about half the dates I went on. Jason dated less than I did.”

“Did you know,” Clay asked, “you were still in love with Jason?”

I looked down. “I may have if I’d let myself think about it. I’m good at not thinking about things that make me uncomfortable.”

Sasha knows about my current repressed thoughts. “Like being a mother.”

I was laughing, but I pretended to be upset. “Yes! Like that! Come on… let me get married first!”

Clay was genuine in wanting to understand. “So, if you had let yourself process the drift… do you think you would have reached out sooner?”

I answered a different question. “Jason said that he had assumed it was over and done. That I’d forgotten… but that he knew it had been so right he just kept holding up anyone he met to the feeling we had with each other. Nothing stacked up. If I had dared think about it, I would have felt the same way.”

Clay seemed satisfied and ready to brand the moment. “So, let’s say polite kissing doesn’t count—like kissing your aunt. Therefore, you two are walking down the aisle after 13 years of dating, having never broken up and having never kissed anyone but each other. How does hearing that make you feel?”

Words formed and came out instantly. “Like we waited too long.”

FOR WANT OF A NAIL by Allen Geven

I’m taking a late, long lunch right now so I can do a walkthrough for David Callahan. My boss at the Coast Guard Station knows what I’m doing and told me to bring him back a burger and fries, so… that.

I came out of the unit I was supposed to look at—everything was fine—and found the door open to another of his rentals.I could see a young man and woman inside, taking them to be the cleaners.The girl gave me Ailana flashbacks to when she was that age—with one big exception. She had a baby on her hip that was clearly her son.

The man was going through drawers in the kitchen, shaking his head.

I guess the girl saw me—she waved. “We’re the cleaners. We’re done. Last job today…”

“Hi…” I introduced myself and they told me their names: Kaylee and Isaac Branch.

“We were about to send the message that this was ready,” Isaac said, “but I noticed this hinge is loose. Loose hinge now, broken door later, right? Man, I don’t want to do a maintenance request for a loose screw, but I don’t have a screwdriver.”

“Are you allowed to make repairs?” I asked.

“I’ve tightened a screw before. This is Phillips.” He held up a butter knife. “Not working.”

We talked about the situation and they came to understand I do the walkthrough, so I said, “Hang on.”

I texted David and told him what was going on.

“Allen, I pay you for a walkthrough, but if you want to fix something, go ahead. Add it to the invoice so I can see how much you’re saving me, and I’ll make something happen.”

“Well,” I said, “I can fix this faster than I can do the messages to get the maintenance ticket created.”

“Go for it then.”

I went back to my truck and got some wood glue and a screw gun, explaining. “A drop of glue in the old hole will give the screw a better bite.”

Job done, I felt good that we’d saved David a big repair bill. And I also had a good feeling about the kids who were doing the cleaning work.

On impulse, I said, “How about you two let me buy you lunch at Whataburger?”

They said yes.

GOOD NIGHT

Geoni has me standing in the street again so she can get the composition she wanted with converging lines. Jason is watching for traffic! If nothing else, this is how you know life has not suddenly become unrecognizable just because a ring appeared. The world still contains curb lines, headlights, and friends who believe five inches to the left will solve everything.

This was my first full day officially engaged. I keep trying to describe it and failing, because nothing about the day itself was extraordinary—and yet everything felt different. Clay said something earlier that landed harder than he probably realized.

He framed it as a question, but it sounded more like a realization: that Jason and I have somehow walked this whole long road without ever really letting go of each other.

When I told Jason what Clay said, he didn’t laugh it off. He stopped walking. He thought about it. Then he said something very quiet and very Jason: that he never tried to replace what we had, because nothing ever came close enough to compete with it.

Hearing that didn’t make me nostalgic—it made me feel steady. Like the ground under my feet had finally decided to stay put.

Today was still a workday. Tomorrow will be another one. I answered messages, reviewed schedules, talked through upcoming projects, walked the same streets I always walk.

But it felt different. I’ve felt connected to Jason for months now, ever since we reconnected almost a year ago. Today, that connection felt more real. It wasn’t just about now. It was about what comes next. It was a connection reaching forward instead of holding on.

I liked it.

So we’re heading home soon. Geoni is satisfied. Jason says the light is perfect. And I’m thinking about how strange it is that nothing changed today—and yet everything did.

May you feel the quiet certainty that doesn’t need proof. May you recognize the difference between comfort and commitment—and choose the deeper thing.

Good night.

Be your best you!

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The image of Ailana walking around the neighborhood and the thank you message that follows is exclusive to supporters…

Message to Paying Supporters:

I thought I'd do a mild spoiler message. Nothing that will ruin anything for you, so feel free to read on.

Today's "For Want Of A Nail" post is something I've gently been working towards for a while. Allen picked up the extra side-job doing rental walk-throughs for the man that Kaylee and Isaac work for. Today, they cross paths, and Allen felt a connection.

In a way not stated, Allen saw a younger version of himself in Isaac—a man making things work for the sake of his family. He didn't deeply process Kaylee, but she could be the wife he might have had if Ailana's mother hadn't been utterly dysfunctional.

By the way, Kaylee is NOT supposed to look like Ailana. I made the prompt very different except "blonde" but… it is what it is… According to ChatGPT they only match in appearance about 60 to 80% so maybe it worked!

So, here's your little spoiler… Down the road, Allen will introduce Isaac to Micah Banks, and those two will become friends. Similar, yet different, they get along well. By extension, Jasmine and Kaylee will become friends.

This will be a fun little dynamic to play around with! Two young couples in orbit around the likes of Ailana, Jason, Josh, Geoni, Clay, and Sasha. And Allen standing by manning the grill for cookouts!

I'd be please if you took time to let me know how you feel about this development!

Thank You

It is my belief that most of you who help with the costs are doing so because you want to support the production process and show your encouragement. I am honored and greatly moved.

I know that I share a LOT of content FREE TO ALL. I'd imagine that you understand why. The stories about giving back and helping seem like they shouldn't be exclusive. Certain plot moments need to be understood by anyone trying to to follow the stories.

With that in mind, I always consider you, the paid members, when deciding how to share content.

My hope is that reserving a few pictures and small sections of the post for you is a modest indication of gratitude!

Thank you very much for your help underwriting the cost of producing AGI Stories content. You can be sure that your paid membership is valued greatly! At the time of this post, not counting hardware, AGI Stories racks up expenses of just over $100 per month.

Again, thank you very, very much.

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