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Chapter 75: BUSY THOUGHTS by Meredith Sinclair

I am surprised by my struggle to find a way to begin. There are several things on my mind that woke me well before my alarm and ultimately put me on a quest for coffee.

I will start with my new book. My ideas are running faster than I have time to develop them. My agent offered an idea that seems workable.

He suggested I contract with an editor to go behind me on the manuscript and flesh out details and dialogue so that I can concentrate on pushing out the plot ideas and world structure. Knowing that I don’t want to taint my work with AI help, it seems doable. So far, so good.

Next?

This is difficult because the two other things are commingled. Since yesterday was a holiday, I called my daughter, Caroline, who lives in San Francisco. It was a good day for a long talk, and we dug in.

She started off saying, “Let me get a coffee and take my shoes off.”

She’s 31 now. I had her when I was 28, and it is hard for me to remember a time she wasn’t part of my life. Yesterday, it felt like she was trying to become too much of a part.

I mentioned that Will and I had met for a late lunch earlier this week and she locked in on that. She probed. She suggested. She insinuated. She assumed. She pushed…

“It’s time you stop being alone.” That was her thesis, and she wouldn’t back down.

“How about you?” I tried turning the tables, but she wouldn’t have it.

I became a little angry in that way mothers are allowed. “You’re misunderstanding this entirely. He and I can enjoy time together without complicating things. I’m not lonely. I have my colleagues and school, and—now—Will and I are spending time together a few times each week. I’m not lonely.”

“Well,” she insisted, “you’re still alone in the biggest city in the U.S.”

“Don’t push me, Caroline.”

“Mom, it’s been two and a half years since Dad passed away. You’re allowed to move on.”

“Caroline…”

She cut me off. “You’re not replacing him. You never will. But you’re allowed to add something different. Not a replacement. A new thing altogether.”

Now, I’m wishing I hadn’t let her minor in psychology.

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All characters in this story are fictional characters, their images generated with AI for AGI Stories. They do not represent any real person, nor is their appearance based on any real human.

Chapter 76: WORTH THE WAIT by Merritt Gray

Since asking Hannah to date, I’ve fielded quite a few questions. I guess some of them push up against my tendency to be private. Nevertheless, I’ll try to—with Hannah’s permission—address some of them.

I’d say our relationship is built on the months we’ve shared working together, both at NYC SysCo and with Pay It Forward Society. We’re comfortable enough to be open and honest.

So the couple of people asking about our physical relationship, I’ll say only this: She told me that Emma suggested we go ahead and kiss to break the ice. It seemed like a good idea, so consider the ice broken. Mostly, this picture sums up where we are after a week.

The big discussions have been around when I knew and why I waited to say anything. My answer to that is that before Emma and I agreed we weren’t going anywhere, I didn’t think of Hannah romantically. After the breakup, I didn’t want to let myself knee-jerk into something I wasn’t sure of.

If I look back, I suppose I knew where I was heading by the end of February, and I settled into daily life with her being part of it. Still, I didn’t say anything. Asking her seemed important to me, and I didn’t want to have doubts.

As I became sure of what I wanted, I started trying to get an idea if she had any similar feelings for me. So I waited longer.

Most of you know Kent—who I consider a good, wise friend—told me it looked like I was leading other girls on. While they are all nice, I never considered anything more than sharing time was going on. Kent said—and some of you have said—it looked otherwise.

I’ll take the blame, then. Definitely, leading them on was not my plan.

As a point of professionalism, I told Mr. Robertson that we were dating. I told him that Hannah—and I’ve told her—makes me feel like I’m supposed to feel. I don’t know if that makes sense outside my head, but Mr. Robertson said he understood.

“I’ve seen how you are with each other. I think you’ll both be happy if you don’t mess with what already works. Engineering rule number one: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

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Comments

Common Hamster

Chapter 75: BUSY THOUGHTS by Meredith Sinclair. Well, this is a welcome update, Dr. Sinclair. Minored in psychology, huh? I predict more analysis from her in the future. At least you've been inspired back into writing. Does AI help really "taint" your work? Hmm. Well, this news of commingling is most interesting. Thank you very much for posting. Have a good day and a Happy Easter.

Common Hamster

Chapter 76: WORTH THE WAIT by Merritt Gray. Hey man, I would join the choir asking questions, but, hey, Go Emma! Ice broken? Nice! Her head is tilted toward you and she is smiling. Excellent start, I'd say. Yep, it definitely looked otherwise. Kudos to Kent for calling you out. And kudos right back to you for owning it and clarifying. Telling Mr. Robertson up front was a sound move. 👍. I wish that engineering rule was an IT one. Sometimes I think theirs is "if it ain't broke, break it, so we can then fix it with an update." Thanks for your post, Merritt. Take care, you two.