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Chapter 82: NO ANSWERS by Emma Knox

I didn’t expect today to feel this heavy.

It started this morning, just after I left the apartment. A woman was sitting on the curb beside her car, one tire completely flat. She had her phone pressed to her ear, and even from a few steps away I could tell she was crying. Not just frustrated crying—something deeper. I slowed down for a second, thinking maybe I should ask if she needed help, but she kept saying, “I know, I know… I just don’t know what to do.”

I told myself she had someone on the way. That she’d be okay.

And I kept walking.

On the bus, there was a man stretched across two seats, sleeping hard. Not the kind of sleep you choose, but the kind that comes when you finally feel safe enough to close your eyes for a little while. People pretended not to notice him. I did too, after a minute.

At the library, I was trying to focus on my work when I heard a voice behind one of the shelves. A guy, maybe a little older than me, trying to whisper but not really succeeding.

“Yeah… I get it… I just didn’t think it would end like this.”

There was a long pause.

“Okay… yeah. Take care.”

Silence after that. The kind that feels louder than anything.

And on the way home… there was a house with blackened windows and a collapsed roof. Still taped off. Someone’s life, just… burned to nothing.

I don’t really know what to do with all of that.

I keep thinking about how normal today looked on the surface. The sky was soft and pretty this morning. People were going to work, to school, to wherever they needed to be. Everything looked like it always does.

But underneath that… there’s also people hurting.

And I don’t have any answers. I don’t know how to fix a flat tire for a stranger or where that man on the bus will sleep tonight or how to make heartbreak hurt less or how to rebuild a house.

All I have is the awareness that it’s there. Everywhere.

Maybe that’s where it starts, though. Just noticing. Letting it matter.

Tonight I’m just standing here, looking out over the city, thinking about how many stories are happening at once. How many quiet moments like those are unfolding behind all those lights.

The world is still beautiful. I believe that.

But it’s also… tender. Fragile in ways we don’t always see unless we’re looking for it.

Tomorrow, I’m going to try to look a little more closely.

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Comments

Common Hamster

Chapter 82: NO ANSWERS by Emma Knox. Hello Emma. I've told you before you have a kind heart and a generous soul. The fact that you noticed and were aware of others' needs is proof of that. You can feel the pain of others, but how do you decide who you can help? Or even if you can help. It's an impossible question. You work at a church. You might ask the person in charge of benevolence how the decisions are made on who to help. People often go to churches for help. The Benevolence Minister usually makes those decisions or the committee does. Resources are limited, so a decision must be made. Yes, Emma, so many stories. When I was 19, in religious studies class at university, my professor told about a manwalking on the beach with hundreds of stranded starfish there. He leaned down, picked up one, and tossed it far into the sea, saving it. This is a famous story, but I didn't know that then. His friend asked, why do that? It doesn't matter. The man turned and said, It matters to that one. I never forgot that. The world is what it is. Count your blessings and live in this moment. This was a deep and thoughtful post, Emma. Thank you so much.