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CLUB CALLS - May 2, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-05-02 16:26:33
Imported:
2026-09

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  • ELLEN 5.2.26.mp3

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Content

Today, it's all about the calls! We talk singin' in the shower, Macy's favorite influencer, Gasoline Girls, forgiving backup singers, Katherine HeFFburn: Piss Aviator, and SO MUCH MORE! Get your newly created personas out!

Files

Comments

roboboy

Unbreak my cockkkk say you’ll love me againn

Sia Furler

Whenever there’s a call ep i skim through in utter horror that one is included and it’s annoying and that I’ve also sent in too many before I can safely listen

BigGayJack

I start my physicals this week!!!

Noah

YEAH BABY YEAH

INO

Create a new fursona

Derek

Gay bitch from Brooklyn

Josh H.

Macy Ramen? Like that movie "The Ramen Girl"?

Josh H.

Rub those jellicle balls on my face, kitty girl.

Grady

Some of the new Tori songs are actually pretty good if you just plug your ears every time she says “lizard kings” “patriarchy” or other such lines.

Grady

I’m a tee girl

Go-Go “Juice”

I think the most offensive part of Runway is when they try to force their names to rhyme with sashay. Sashay doe-chay sashay ga-gay ❓❓

Go-Go “Juice”

Azealia banks said Grimes smelled like a roll of nickels lol

Grady

I feel so free is such a fucking good song.

Grady

I have a whole thing of how it is a great foil to the Runway song. Where Runway is a song that is like “I’m gay I’m gay gay words gay song”, Madonna’s song is actually just speaking to a gay experience of feeling safety in numbers on the dance floor. Where Gaga tells Madonna shows.

Mac

justice for god control

Mac

I hear that every time I listen to

vic

It’s time to reactivate your old Neopets account and create a new fursona

najy

I would like to nominate Adrien grenier saying “take care of that finger, huh?” in DWP1 as a drop nominee

river

backpack? plush toy? velour tracksuit? that woman was clearly smuggling copies of becky has two toilets across state lines

river

don’t let the screaming distract you from what’s really going on 🧐

BigGayJack

So happy I’m not the only one - drunk Jack LOVES to call in

Baby, Don’t Shoot Podcast

Please release😉 that cum in your mouth remix! It’s a diva-slay-kiki-“looks like a phaggot!” kind of vibe!

Dany

Saw tori live last week, she’s just incredible. Her energy was amazing and she really seemed to have a great time. She made me weep uncontrollably during bells for her, she was acting buckwild during Little Amsterdam.. you could still see glimpses of early tori, it all made me really emotional. I was worried but the background singers were actually great, though tori did still sing a lott herself. It all worked really really well imo. Forever grateful yall introduced me to her, like this bitch is just unbelievable

charlie

I keep getting recommended those fucking doomscroll podcasts I will never watch them never ever never

charlie

I saw a clip of [redacted] on there recently and I was just filled with the desire to smash my phone into pieces and throw myself off a very tall building

charlie

Agreed, saw her in london and she was sensational

josh brolin

in the bathroom doing my tgel while i listen to this thinking about how if people dont shut the fuck up about telephone music video part 2 im going to lose my mind

Tati Beauty Puff

River, no way! That is famously a child-labor only field

May

insane people think i am club inside my only friend 💔

Sia Furler

I’m soooo glad you listened to the concert clips I sent! I was literally sobbing at how amazing it sounded live, it was truly truly magical.

Tati Westbrook

this episode was a delight, so many good news!!!

Pascal

That’sh the lasht taboo 🫦🤫

Pascal

Cannot wait to hear the new Tori album get ripped to shreds/praised to high heaven next week

Go-Go “Juice”

I promise that I’ll never try to cum in your mouth (CLUB Remix)

Elizabeth Highschool

Get your cobalt OUT and get those Congolese kids IN those mines

Go-Go “Juice”

Need the full version on streaming expeditiously

Beth Jerky

Throwing neck for Tori!

Thunder In a Tin Can

Hello you gave us a breathless track by track reviews of Mayhem. You also attempted it with Diving deep for some reason, which is a trash release. Can we please get a track by track of In the Times of Dragons? Pretty please? Also please don't dismiss it outright and eagerly, Theda. Remember how you grew to love ocean to ocean as transmissions from planet mom? This album is pretty decent relative to her other late stage output

Sia Furler

It’s not great tbh

Sia Furler

Grady your heart is full of love and I’m not sure mine is enough to enjoy the album and maybe that’s ok

river

you’re so right tati b.p. i am listening and learning

ethan

nymphowars should return by rebooting US Kath and Kim (2008) with molly shannon and selma blair

jacob groenendyk

Hi girls - very genuine comment - pls bring back main feed and make it about anything you like. I’m a huge fan of the idea of just taking it as far as you can it need not be tethered to the real world in anyway

kasha davis

I Feel so Free too! Take me back to 2005 henny

Seth

My pill popping father used to sit me down and make me watch Beyonce satanist youtube conspiracy videos in like 2012

Luc

Every time Vancouver gets a shoutout on this show I get so happy

Luc

caller where u at

Pascal

It’s not, but at least it’s not an embarrassing disaster like certain other Tori albums I could name…

DewLeepa

The only thing I know about Josh citarella is he and Dorian Electra were fwb during the height of the covid pandemic. There’s video of them on twitch discussing reaganomics and he’s trying to convince Dorian that drinking raw eggs for breakfast is good for health; Dorian attempts to choke a cup down, fails, spits it back into the cup, and Josh drinks it for them

DewLeepa

If you want another lol she shit talked sega bodega and his gf after they invited her to their house and his gfs read of her is literally so brutal bc you can tell all of it is true

DewLeepa

You’re gonna have to be more specific

DewLeepa

Me, exhausted by the longer voicemails bc Theda adds in stressful opera music underneath it: ughhhhh hurrry up Me, calling in with a longer voicemail: guess I’m the exception to the rule surely what I’m saying is sooooo interesting

Christ

heyyy soooo has anyone got their merch yet?

Bricka Tuna

I am SO SORRY but I would pay top dollar for Josh Citronella’s boxer briefs marinated during a 4-hour session with contrapoints.

Max Rubin

WHAT IS THE SONG AT THE END??? THANK YOU!!! GREAT EPISODE AS ALWAYS

freezy515

“Ohhhh yeah I’m just gonna do one more push uppp” I just died laughing lmfao I tried going back to my gym and it’s all straight people and this hot dad type asked me to spot him and I panicked and Gen Z stared him and then didn’t go back fml

K.

Uncle Jonny did 911!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DewLeepa

I’m not making it up, lmao

Isak

Tori, like Ellen, has still got it!

Joseph

That dope I don’t smoke - it’s true!! 💅

maooaf

In my experience, if you go to a college gym (community college maybe) or a YMCA it becomes a lot more modernist vibey "Let's fuck around with our bodies for the joy of development". Might be something to try bc I also recoil at the goon music being piped in

Grant W

"I'd rather talk about the Blow Jobin' Experience" - Tori Myra Ellen Amos

rose bean germanotta-polansky

🔊 PROMISE 🔊 THAT I’LL 🔊 NEVER 🔊 TRY TO 🔊 CUM IN 🔊 YOUR MOOU 🔊UUTTTHHHH 🔊

mimi fox

we need CLUB DRAGON

Megan M. Metzger

Stars of track & field are beautiful people 💋

Megan M. Metzger

She could have been our Gore Vidal but nooooo

hugomac

Saw an aging prog rocker last year (Adrian Belew) and he sang his own songs and I just wished they had hired a young dude because he just couldn't carry those lines any more. John Lydon's voice is also completely shot and he's still trying. It's sad.

Tati Beauty Puff

shome of the girlsh like to jusht hide in the shadows...... create a new pershona

Grady

Macy you inspired me last night to yell at a group of AI techies. I was at my favorite historic jazz bar in SF and this big group of techie millennials were next to me all night talking about their AI jobs and it was pissing me off. And I thought what would macy do, and as I left I yelled “fuck AI and Fuck all of you for working in it we don’t want you here” and it felt so deliciously good.

Zach Defense

If the track and field caller is in the comments, I am desperate to know more gay people who care about it.....please......

Christ

john early = partner lemme upgrade u jfccccc

Caitlin C.

midnight sleazy train????

Bricka Tuna

Tati talk always fills my bowl with mirth

Sia Furler

Get your personality disorders out, it’s time to create a new persona 🫦

Max Rubin

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JAMMING TO IT RN

Roople

Promise that I’ll never try to club in your mouth!

Nicole Wigman

get your jellicle ball ass backup dancers out

Lloyd

Madonna Ciccone, I do NOT like to hide in the shadows. Everyone knows that. Stop creating new personas.

Gay Half-orc

I have entered little monster level psychosis in thinking that In Times of Dragons is good. Please do a classic tit for tat. I need someone to rip me out of this delusion.

roboboy

Glad to see raspberry is doing well post-internship

Jo

‘Guerlain: Vol de Pee’

Freyja

We as gay people get to choose our new persona

Alex G

Stag Dance has been such a fucking good read, thank you ladies

Susan Boyle

Lmao I have the same elliptical fantasy it's the only thing tempting me at a gym. But gyms are fucking disgusting and swarming with disposable men that need to be put down like the rabid dogs that they are, just stay away and do what you enjoy for exercise so your brain benefits too. People base their routines off bodybuilder gym tactics it doesn't make sense for average people. I just use some weights and calisthenics at home, simple yoga, walk alot in nature squeezing ur abs n booty and autistic arm swinging. That's enough to stay fit especially if you have decent genetics. People assume I go to the gym but I barely even use equipment. It's also just 90% diet too, been full vegan for ~10 yrs, no meat ~15 yrs. You don't get weighed down by the miserable cholesterol of ass raped sloppily slaughtered animals, that includes "lean" meat like chicken/fish. Plants have no cholesterol, that itself grants you some agility, only excess coconut/palm oil can make your body generate it. I'm a cis man tho for reference. Love, Susan

grant brown

Just read The English Understand Wool on Theta’s recommendation, loved it thank you

michela

“you have the blood of a man” good hrt reminder thank u

May

what do you think madonna whispered in anna wintour’s ear

Owin

I feel so free

Alex

“Do you think Isabelle huppert is doing this” is so compelling for decision making

Dave Harvey

Can someone PLLEEEAAASSEE tell me where “the case is what I call my pussy” Is from? I need the full context for my sanity

Josh

Azealia saying "Elon wants this fat pussy" really makes me laugh

Jo

Renaissance Act 3: Conspiracy Carter

Christian Farley

return to the main feed with amy poehler chemo doctor

Jo

Sampling Kraftwerk’s Tour de France (I think??)

pussytourettefan

has anyone else watched 'dressed to kill' recently? there's a lot to like about it, but mostly im struck by how beautiful the music is

ax

PLZZ release Promise That I’ll Never Try and Cum In Your Mouth (Dance Mix)

JSB

was very happy to hear all the josh citarella hate im getting so sick of that self-fellating twink

Nicco

Cannot stop smiling and laughing out loud on a re-listen. My new persona… grateful!

May

i think it’s just something macy said at the beginning of club cannavale

Christ

mine just shipped, fyi! hopefully yours did too! ❤️

LS

The new tori album is actually her best music since repentant geraldeeneeneeens IN MY OPINION

LS

It’s pure unfiltered mom world top to bottom

Thomas

Just caught Hantavirus and now I’m skinny as a needle!

brit

perfumer honorine blanc was on 60 minutes talking about how sulphuric notes that smell like peepee poopoo are critical in good fragrance…… must listen and watch

Ann_Dowd_Stan_69

I use one of those private pod gyms where you book your own space, and somehow nearly every PT there is queer or non-roided. Honestly, a fab concept. Only downside is when I forget my headphones and have to experience the gym playlist. Nothing prepares you for going from those viral Irish kids rapping to a Summertime Sadness remix mid set.

DewLeepa

IF y'know what I meaaaannn! HA, HA, HA

nitrogen

I’ve always found the men’s changeroom very sexual

Blake ☭

Never stop calling BGJ

Ross Anderson

Hey I’m the track and field caller ! Club Mondo!!