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Chapter 21 of No Joy in Command is out for Squires! (Patreon)

Published:
2025-05-26 06:35:20
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

Content

Okay, not as late as I feared. The chapter is of ordinary length, but it's sort of a trial writing style for me. I'm happy with how both came out, and I managed to tell everything I wanted to tell without digging into excessive detail. I'm extremely happy with the chapter as it is, but I realise it probably might be quite... weird for some, as I usually don't spin things like this. Lemme know what you think.You can read the previous chapters in the collection.

Files

21.docx

Obligatory disclaimer: I don't own ASOIAF; that honour goes to GRRM. Edited by: Void Uzumaki & Himura; B. Reader: Bub3loka I also want to thank everyone for their support and encouragement. 130 AC The Riverlands If you asked Cregan Stark, he would say that the Riverlands were pleasantly warm, ...

Comments

thevolunteer

Describing this as a crack fic really screwed my perception of how this story would go. Make it more depressing why don’t you, you left some shred of possible happiness untouched. Grimderp with good writing.

stevem1

Good chapter. Baela and Moondancer were well done. For a smaller dragon she performed very well. I was confused by the need for a mercy kill. Can’t dragon wings be mended like a bird wing? Cregan/Baela makes more sense now. The Starks don’t get a dragon, but they would be a line for high priority marriages, like the Velaryons [which seem to be scarce on the ground]. The dream sequence was excellent. Jon’s interactions with his parents, and pseudo-parents Ned and Stannis, hit the mark. Rhaegar’s answer about the comet should give Jon some hope for the future.

Edmeister

Well... that's one way of getting rid of a potential problem. Poor Baela. I almost wish Jon allows her to try hatching another egg. But he knows the trouble making another house dragon riders. Even one as loyal as House Stark currently is.

Bishop7053

It definitely varies between grimderp and noblebright. Just goes back and forth like a damn pendulum. The crack description is undeserved I'd say with how this has gone and with the sheer quality of the story

Cristi R

Great chapter. Baela did good, went against a bigger foe and won. A bit transparent with Cregan letting her use Ice, very, very few people have that honor and they are family. Given that is 130 AC, Cregan is a widower, Arra Norrey is dead so a match with Baela ties everything together.

Grimgoth

I see what you did there "Why can't it be both...", very Dumbledore. 😉 Good chapter, we get Cregan and his band who really only wanted to negotiate..."So, we'll kill the damn Greens again..." Roddy Dustin "Cole is mine". The dream sequence was good too... I just wish there was more interaction between Jon and Lyanna in things like that... surprised/not surprised that Stannis was there. He was Jon's king before the comet, there's a fic in which Shireen insists on Jon as her husband that I remember (which was good). A pairing of the two is rare, but there's something.

Omar Syed

Nicely done. Although I'm kind of sick being kind of and nearly exact with my prophesies about this fic. 😉 Cregan "Time bends to my will" Stark has always been one of my favourite characters in ASOIAF and the source of my aggravation towards the actions and behaviour of Eddard "I die honorably stupid" Stark. Would love to see a long chapter with him and Jon "Vermithor's Amusement" Stark. Sad to see Moondancer go like that, but a good end to the scene nonetheless. Cole's end seemed ingomious, but then again even Alexander died because of a fever, so... Dream foreshadowing was nice, as well as the last chat with Ned. Vhagar, the Westerlands, Vale, and Stormlands left. Getting excitingly towards the end. Would love a scene or two with only the Lords who've come to Jon's side discussing him and Rhaela. But I know I'm becoming greedy. Still...😇 Keep up the good work. Take your time. Those of us who've stayed with you for years or months on end will understand and would rather want an an amazing product rather than a mediocre one.

Abhishek Kumar

Dumbledore as eddard stark, now that's an idea

Rival

Great chapter. I feel sorry for Baela that she had to mercy kill Moondancer, but all things being equal, it is for the better IMO. Lest there be another House with Dragon riders going forward. Having a House Paramount with a dragon would probably be even worse down the line than the Velaryons were, even if said house is Starks. Jon's interaction with Lyanna felt disappointing, to say the least. At least he spoke with Rhaegar, Ned and Stannis, but I would think if anyone would want to speak with him, it would be her. Unless it is true that Rhaegar kidnapped and raped her, and she only wanted to protect Jon because of the soup of post birth hormones, but wanted nothing to do with him after. At least a " I loved you from before you were born" would have probably been a heavy weight lifted from his shoulders. (if it were true)

Mae

I was thinking about an idea, after the end of the main story, we could have a scene with Rhaena and Baela, in parallel with the first Rhaena and Alysanne. To be more precise, like Baela yelling at Rhaena that everything she has should have been hers. She should have been queen, she should have had a dragon, she was the one who should had give birth to princes and princesses. And maybe in this line it would be Baela who had 6 daughters. author what do you think?

fireball77

Heyyyy What's your discord

Czar Zizi

Well, as everybody else already noted, the Baela and Cregan situation is now neatly resolved. Moondancer is dead, the Winterfell Starks won't have dragons after their marriage, the King Starks won't have their cousins knocking on the Red Keep's door for the throne. Good writing, well foreshadowed, neat scene with Ice. Now for the negative part of this comment: I'm going to try and be as constructive as possible during this critique, but I'm no writer so forgive my failings. The scene with Jon's ghosts from the past (neat move adding Jenny's song from Rheagar to start the scene!) has completely failed to land any kind of emotional blow on me, I'm sorry to say. He's a man grown and fulfilled with extremely little of what can be described as a character arc in this fic. None of the ghosts' advice are anything but things he has already been doing or a pat on the back. Jon's attachment to them feels fleetingly pointless considering none have been mentioned by name more than three times in this fic. This is sort of correlated to a broader dislike I have with these latter, post-Cannibal chapters: it feels as if Jon has been handed a signed copy of the Prince from Macchiavelli translated into Common by the man himself and read it religiously every day since he was a child. You can substitute "Jon" with "the Prince" in every scene he had and it would change little. He acts like such a picture perfect depiction of a medieval ruler that it completely removes one of the most gripping parts of ASoIaF: the issues with allowing personal relationships and foibes to mix with political titles. Jon simply faces zero conflict within himself because he has no attachments to any part of the realm, thus his rule is perfect, thus he becomes - for me, personally, people might disagree - extremely uninteresting as a character and opposed to the things that made the original depiction in the original books captivating in the first place. That said, you did tag this as crack, so I suppose I was just hoisted by my own expectations. Don't regret buying the patreon though. Cheers.

eternalknight219

I just realized something. Is it still a crack-fic anymore? It's gotten a great deal more serious.