New Lyrics: "Honk The Man Off" (Patreon)

Okay, this one is kinda ludicrous. In the Facebook group Superman Hopeposting, someone posted this page from an actual comic (apparently, Superman: Year One by Frank Miller & John Romita, Jr.):

Which led me to this:

I'll tell you a tale of Kal-El of Krypton,Way hey, don't honk the man off,He means well, but some jobs he shouldn't take on,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

Honk the man off, Jimmy, Honk the man off, Perry,Way hey, don't honk the man off,From thirty blocks out, he can hear when you cough,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

He once found a toddler left out in the rain,Way hey, don't honk the man off,But something went wrong in his alien brain,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

He bundled that baby right up in his cape,Way hey, don't honk the man off,And then hung her up on a fire escape,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

Honk the man off, Lois,Honk the man off, LanaWay hey, don't honk the man off,His child care instincts would make Batman scoff,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

He called the police to go pick up the kid,Way hey, don't honk the man off,He could've just flown to the station instead,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

Sometimes he does things that don't make any sense,Way hey, don't honk the man off,While some blame red kryptonite, I blame the Kents,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

Honk the man off, Martha,WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!?(Underneath:) Way hey, don't honk the man off.Or else the destruction will cut a vast swath,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

There's one simple lesson to learn from this song,Way hey, don't honk the man off,Call Flash or Green Lantern if something’s gone wrong,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

For most human problems, he’s far off the scale,Way hey, don't honk the man off,Like having Godzilla massaging your kale,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

Honk the man off, Luthor,Hey, we could reboot theStage play, on Broadway or off.Portraying Kal-El, we’ll get Jonathan Groff,Nah, never mind, we might honk the man off.

Honk the man off, Darkseid,Honk the man off, Brainiac,Way hey, don't honk the man off,It's way too much trouble, don't tug on his cloth,Don't touch his cape, don't honk the man off.

And then Anne suggested a tag:

You don't tug on Superman’s cape, You don't spit like Jonathan Groff,You don’t pull the glasses offa old Clark Kent,Or you just might honk him off.

Music: "Blow the Man Down" [Trad.]with a quote at the end from "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" by Jim Croce