New Song: "Mortuary" (Patreon)

After this week, the only humor I have left is black.

Truth is, I've wanted to record this for a long time, but I couldn't remember the lyrics. So, many thanks to Eli Goldberg, who got me a copy of Julia Ecklar singing this, oh, thirty years or so ago.

Words and music: Dennis Drew

I know a place that you should visit, you may find it grand.If you need a little help, we're sure to lend a hand.If you want a slight vacation, I think you will want to stay.For a quite unique diversion, come on down to play.

Come on down to the mortuary, we’ll take you in a jif.We can play our favorite game, pin the tail on the stiff.We can all play blind man's bluff, I think that you will findThat it's so much more fun to play when everyone is blind.

Come on down to the mortuary, it's a nice place to rest.We aren't so particular, but you should wear your best.We offer rides in limousines and drives through flowered parks,And though our rooms aren't very large, they're always cool and dark.

Come on down to the mortuary, the finest place to die.We will treat you graciously from the moment you arrive.There's no need for an appointment, stop in any time of day --But when you stop by for a visit, be prepared to stay.