Classic Song: "Frog Like Me" (Patreon)

I can talk a lot about this one, and I think I will in a separate post. For now, all you need to know is it was inspired by the great Chuck Jones, and the equally great Howard Ashman, Alan Menken, and Robin Williams.

Well, Durante had the Lennon Sisters,Welk had the Champagne Band,Don Kirschner had the Monkees, but,Brother, you've got a winning hand.

You won't believe that things can get so big,It'll really knock off your socks,'Cause you found exactly where to dig --Now just open up my box,And I'll say:

Mister, I'll be your palIf you only let me be,Hello, baby, honey, ragtime gal,You ain't never had a frog like me.

Success is in the bag,Your wealth I guarantee,Everybody likes the Michigan RagWhen they hear it from a frog like me.

I'm the greatest entertainerThat the world has ever known,But I'll only do that old soft-shoeWhen the two of us are alo-o-o-one.

Soon everyone you knowWill doubt your sanity,They'll hear me croak, say "What a joke!"But never blame it on a frog like me.

Can a frog do shtick?Can a frog do tap?Can a frog do opera?Can a frog do rap?Can a frog just vault...From his own high wire?Can a frog make your whole life grind to a haltJust to satisfy one desire?

You'll have sunken cheeks and baggy eyesAnd you'll stink like a rambling bog,You'll become everything that you despise,But you'll still have a singing frog.

I got a powerful urge to entertainFor an audience of just one,And the chance is good I'll fry your brainBy the time this song is done,Old son --

Is there someone somewhereWho would like to set me free?Your life I'll trash -- but what panache!You ain't never had a frog, never had a frog,You ain't never had a frog, never had a frog,You ain't never...had a...frog...like...me!-- You ain't never had a frog like me!BOAHHH-RUPP!

Words: Tom Smith, after Howard AshmanMusic: "Friend Like Me" by Alan Menken