Best Hot Dogs of 2025 - Brockway 🌭 (Patreon)

Just like we do every year, 1-900-HOTDOG is taking the very best articles by the very best people and making them free. Just like every year, this is our holiday gift to you and the world. And just like every year, you and the world got us jack fucking shit. So make it up to us by spreading some of these free articles around, or sharing the entire free category of the site to your friends, family, and enemies you still kind of want to bang.

Brockway decided to focus on longform Hot Dog journalism this year, and spent most of his time digging through the garbage of obscure fanfiction writers and aspiring animators to prove what lunatics they were. Yet somehow when they caught him in their backyards, pinned in the beam of a flashlight, his beard full of trash like a hungry raccoon, they insisted he was the actual lunatic. The fucking gall.

Street Fighter: Dream Never Ends, Part 1 🌭 & Part 2 🌭 & Part 3 🌭

Talyn Rahman-Figueroa makes her living grifting aspiring diplomats on social media, but her true passion is and will always be inserting herself into Street Fighter* fanfiction about fucking**. Her other, even more true passion is defrauding Capcom to make it seem official.

*There will be no Street Fighting.

**There will also be no fucking.

Miami Spice 🌭

An anti-drug sock puppet musical parody of Miami Vice starring Curt-Hiss the Beatboxing Snake. Well, we say “starring,” but the only real star here is Mr. Crack.

CyberKnight and the Hand Puppet Commandos Part 1 🌭 & Part 2 🌭

In CyberKnight and the Hand Puppet Commandos Part 1, you’ll laugh at the flailing creative efforts of a horny old racist puppet weirdo. In CyberKnight and the Hand Puppet Commandos Part 2, you’ll learn about a real life hand-grenade based karate death cult and their explosive decapitations. It’s a ride.

The Heartbreak of Krull 🌭

Krull is a movie about many things: Oppression, rebellion, cyclopses, krulls. But mostly, it’s a story about love. And the sweet fucking flamethrower love gives you.

Rockafire Explosion Band 🌭

Hey you remember the animatronic Chuck E. Cheese band, right? Those forever-broken animal robots that wished you a musical happy birthday before shorting out half the arcade? They were the direct inspiration for Five Nights at Freddy’s. You knew that. Maybe you didn’t know their creator went insane trying to invent a new kind of energy and blew up a chunk of Florida with a homemade bomb. But you’ll know that after reading this, so it’s cool.

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM