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Just like we do every year, 1-900-HOTDOG is taking the very best articles by the very best people and making them free. Just like every year, this is our holiday gift to you and the world. And just like every year, you and the world got us jack fucking shit. So make it up to us by spreading some of these free articles around, or sharing the entire free category of the site to your friends, family, and enemies you still kind of want to bang.

Seanbaby remains the king of insane media, and if anyone dethrones him they’ll find they’ve sprouted a hot pink mohawk and instantly know Muay Thai. He’s more of a curse than a man. Without him, 1-900-HOTDOG wouldn’t have elaborately photoshopped comics, 1001 books of violent banality, and the world’s best Dennis Miller impression. We say this every year, but this year Seanbaby went crazier than usual. Somebody should check on him. Somebody who looks good in a mohawk, just in case.

Man Comics Present Whoops Nebraska 🌭

Man Comics brings you the adventures of Whoops, Nebraska: The clumsiest buckaroo to ever pratfall down the hills of Montana. Nebraska’s just his name.

Turbo Teen Writer Arcade Strategy Guide 🌭

Turbo Teen is the craziest thing to come out of the 1980s children’s entertainment industry, and Marc Summers has eaten six children. A lesser comedy site would simply make jokes about the teen who turns into a car whenever he touches a burrito. Seanbaby wrote a strategy guide for the show. Well, for the arcade game of the show. Well, for the arcade game where you play a writer for the show. Look, it makes more sense if you read it. We’re sorry we lied to you, just now. It will happen again.

Talking Dennis Miller's Book of The Worst 8 Jimmy Toys 🌭

A lesser comedy site would simply write about how much Dennis Miller sucks, and call it a day. He sucks in more ways then there are combinations of words. That’s not what Seanbaby did: He invented a talking book narrated by Dennis Miller and had it review a collection of Jimmy toys, but really it’s a ghost story. Look, it makes more sense if you read it. We told you we’d lie to you again.

Miss Castaway 🌭

Miss Castaway is a sort-of Castaway parody by a guy who normally does Eric Roberts dog movies. It also stars a robot, bikini babes, and the real Michael Jackson as a mystical sky projection. Somehow it’s not good? The tone of Seanbaby’s article implies it’s not good. But he’s been wrong before.

Dogfight Wild Tournament Part 1 🌭 & Part 2 🌭

It’s impossible, but the Spanish Joe Rogan is more Joe Rogan than the real Joe Rogan. The real Joe Rogan never hosted a fighting tournament full of war crimes where amateurs fight pros, tiny men fight huge men, and huge men fall in love with other huge men. In Part 2, the huge men simply fall in love again. Why fix what’s not broken?

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM

Comments

Goat Face

... The right to use them or having them flung into my throat? Do those require different quests?

Christopher Horne

No, you’re right, Sean is drifting further into insanity… It’s one of the main reasons I continue to subscribe: to see where this train takes us… …and to find out if Pants Chapley ever admits his forbidden love for Topper… …Whether or not Lydia can become supreme ruler of the Alpha Males… …If S Rob ever gets revenge on Brockway… …If Sissyneck ever gets to enjoy his Maverick Grill in peace and freedom from judgement… …And finally, if Dennard’s Otaku-Box antics ever manage to stain his academic reputation. Whatever happens next, I’m on board ‘till the end, figurative popcorn at the ready 🫡

Jeff Orasky

I am still waiting to find out if Dog Fight Wild 3 just gave in and went full hardcore porn.

Skebotron

I once tried to explain what the Turbo Teen article was to somebody without being able to show it to them at the time. It didn't go well. I did a much better job explaining to the EMTs that I wasn't having a stroke, though.

Bonnybedlam

I would watch that all day long.

Mister Sinistar

Big thanks to Seanbaby and his karate street gang for the decades of laughs. Please, um...don't stop.

Matthew Harris

I guess I am now in the precarious position of Mansplaining Seanbaby to Seanbaby, because there were lots of Great, I mean, Terrible articles that seem to be missing here. How can a list without Diebel or Liefeld takedowns really capture Seanbaby's genius? Or wait...did those articles not come out in 2025, but in 202Ƽ?

Katie Favell

Those articles might already be free. Brockway usually picks paid articles and makes them free for the holidays.

Dean Costello

Also, by this time, isn't a Diebel/Liefeld takedown pretty much baked in?

Dean Costello

Recall that in past years Lydia was both declared the Queen of the Capybaras as well as Satanette, so wouldn't Supreme Ruler of the Alpha Males be a step down, like the way King Charles is also the Viscount of Puddly-on-Marsh or similar?