Still here 2 (Patreon)

Been two rough day, morally..

Been hard to draw boobs last two days, as i was contemplating a possible end to my career. Worst is, i kinda want to draw, but i feel.. so empty

Yesterday was moody, easy to get angry.. most of time i'm ok, but sometime i'm just a HUSK of what was here before

Peoples keep saying i'm good at my job, but i know artist thousand time better, and more skilled, and it's hard accepting the compliment when you see only the flaws in what you do.
But it helps a bit, making me think that, if so many peoples like my work, maybe im not that much worthless.

I dunno if i'll see this page ban in the next couple of days..
i think my fear is actually just mix of paranoia and experience. Saw many friends being kicked by stuff that seemed ok, for no reason, that in my mind it's less about rules and more about "what the guy youre talking to want."
That's the result of the constent pressure. ban porn, ban this ban that! Always same argument "moral, childrens, security!"
It gnaw your sanity.

When i opened this page i never believed it would be a job one day, was just a side thing, to make enough money to support others artists.
I was so surprised peoples would follow.
My opinion always have been "if you want to see more of my drawing.. send me money. Not because of a paywall,but.. if you support my work, i can pay rent, the bills, eat properly. You literally make me work longer!
But it's not how the world work anymore. You support peoples because there's a paywall, because they ll draw for you, and if they die in the process, it's ok, there's thousands other artist, and now there's IA!

I'm verry lucky to have found the few bunch of fans that still wanna help me keep drawing further! You re all amazing!

So, for now i'm Still here

Tell me if you like those talks, it's a bit depressive maybe? But it help unload a bit
But if you rather have me shut the fuck up, i would understand and stop