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To stand up to the latest onslaught against freedom of speech in this country, Will, Felix, and Hesse review The Glimmer Man (1996), Steven Seagal’s buddy-cop movie with Keenen Ivory Wayans and his first recorded attempt at changing his race. We recap Seagal’s hunt for a serial killer named “the Family Man,” his efforts to stop a Russian-Serbian-American chemical weapons deal, as well as Wayans’ futile attempts to make this movie even remotely watchable.

Subscribe to Seeking Derangements: https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements 

And be sure to check out Castration Movie Anthology ii: Best of Both Worlds wherever you can!

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hu4d

SEAGAL EPISODE LETS GOOOOO

Claire Simon

Hesse if you’re reading this we’re from the same part of Sicily so you are basically my cousin

JD Nonce

Me wan tha poonani 🎵🫦👅

Richard

I’ve given up on watching the dumb movies they review but I still chuckle at the episodes. Am I missing out?

JDF

Peeeeriod

RyKy

I needed this tonight. Let's go!

Oliver Clozov

that's because talking about movies and tv shows is the lowest form of conversation

JDF

GENIUS TIME W/ DINGUS^

Joe D’grinda

Is the country imploding and is mass violence gonna starting happening soon ? or is this all just happening on the internet and i’m just a dumbass alarmist?

Richard

I’ve had conversations about the smell of farts.

Alex C

The dry boys won't be cows!

ZeeBee

I want to crucify you on your front door with nails from your well stocked garage, Family Man. Family MAN.

Ball Atreides

It's the slow burn my man. Some more marginalized people are feeling the brunt of it right now but things will just keep getting progressively worse at a maddening pace

Joe D’grinda

I watch one sam hyde video that my brother showed me to get my opinion on it and i’m shitting my britches. the video is like hutu power levels of emotional and racial fear

Declan Kennedy

thank god, I need to hear the Movie Mindset crew (feat. Felix Cumtree) talk about a dumb Seagal movie more now than I even realised

etienne

shit is so bad even Chapo is taking a metal health break smh

Smartalec

It's over for your bro, bro

Shiv

Hesse 🤩

wet_poptart

I needed some good shit after the past week thank christ

Joe D’grinda

why is it over for me ? am i being dramatic about all this shit ? or should i self deport myself and my family to mexico to cleanse america of non whites ?

hrtzgod314

Tell him to stop watching that shit lol

JDF

yr ma is a talker that’s for sure

Joe D’grinda

can you guys update ur movie review eps collections cuz i swear you guys have done more reviews than listed official there at least since demolition man

Horseloverfat

This isn’t really fair to gweilo. Segal’s films are actually successful and intentional experiments in conveying what it feels like to have a rebar based TBI

PP Cool P

Whoa yeah I just watched a couple minutes and it sure felt like a call to arms. Most comments below video are somewhere between violent fantasy and credible threat. Widespread consensus that “the left” killed Charlie Kirk and the Ukrainian woman and is laughing about it online. Yikes

Horseloverfat

Damn you guys sort of made this joke right after I posted

niceman

When the news is rapid fire, I know I can always rely on chapo (my go-to political commentators), to ignore it all completely

Mr Tu Damn Quoque

A soothing balm of a movie episode will be welcome relief from the relentless news cycle

Eugene Marder

I’ve never posted on Patreon before but now feel inexorably compelled. The gang’s fantasies about Mr. Seagal doing Latino-play are indeed reality. I introduce exhibit A: his performance in Machete.

T.A. Martin

Steven Seagal was trying to be black until he realized "Asia's my home."

Skitzaf Raynik

If you did your homework you’d know, as Tony Soprano tells us, “remember when” is lowest form of conversation.

Isaac

Craven must’ve had a letterboxd hoe do a number on their little heart 💔

Ant koz

Hate to do this to you Will, but Gunton is not the bad guy, but a red herring to the bad guy in ace Ventura: when nature calls in his classic role as Burton Quinn… consider this my application to guest on movie mindset…

Isaac

I think Chris is on leave still, so that ain’t happenin anytime soon

Bob K Ross

Dude, it's Brian Cox from super troopers. Learn your audience!

Ant koz

Welcome!

Ant koz

Wattup shrek!

Ant koz

Thank you Mr fakename. This fucking guy knows nothing

Wagner Koop

Worst Person In The World mentioned, good Felix pull

Bur Nur

Petition for Hesse permanent 3rd mic

Rxk Lenderman

they also know exactly when society needs a movie episode

Alex C

Felix is just OOZING metal gear commentary from the side project lol. Can't wait for the phantom pain ep

N

Certified banger!!!

THEKILLERWHALE

One of my all time favorite recurring columns is Random Roles on the avclub (shout out to Will Harris). For those not in the know, he essentially does long interviews with beloved character actors over their entire career. The sheer number of Seagal stories is staggering. My favorite is Richard Riehle, who was hosting an event for the Dalai Lama. Seagal, a practitioner of some bizarre form of white guy Buddhism that permits the karate chopping of throats, came expecting and demanding a private audience with his holiness. When he was rebuked, Seagal stormed out of the party under the pretext that he and the Dalai Lama were wearing matching dashikis. I would encourage you to raid the entire Random Roles archive and CTRL+F Seagal because there is ALWAYS something.

DiamondDave

More than I could have ever hoped for. Thank you Great Spirit for blessing us with the Holy Algorithm to our nourishment and for your humble servants Chapo Trap House and Steven Seagull.

Xi Jinpenis

It's becoming more and more obvious that Will is over covering politics.

Ale

I'm going to be thinking about "Two King Chess" for a long while

Travis

Felix begins speaking at 34 seconds

Sam D

We love Hesse don't we folks

Dante

Must point out he was pretending to be native American in On deadly ground, kinda hard to realize that I know

Steeeeve

MODS! MODS!!!

Josh Martin

This movie is insanely convoluted

drewb

Between this, episode 1 and seeking derangements, hesse fans are dining today 🍽️

Paul Hurdle

Gunton is forever CE Lively’s bitch ass to me

HuffingGasInTheShed

30s fash were scary because they were “hands on” violent. These guys buy guns and watch YouTube. I’m not hoping for shit to pop off, but their lack of fear isn’t based in any sort of reality. We have principles to guide us and help us identify friends. While they play on computers and build up our ammo supply depots.

Tim O'

Brian Cox, whom you may know from the time he committed the most epic suicide ever in The Ring

Nate Wood

millennials love to recount the entire plot of a movie to you ffs

Tom

You ever see a white boy do something crazy like this?

Uly Johnston

nate stop crying like a little bitch

Will

In the seminal text Seagalogy by Vern, The Glimmer Man marks the point where things start going downhill

Anomalie

The glimmer man is a cryptid seen in the woods, usually described as looking like a shimmery outline of a humanoid shape, or like the Predator when cloaked

Tim O'

☝️🤓 He begins singing, actually

J O T

WE all ship Hesse and Felix

travis adams

Glimerman is just a really weird rush hour prequel. They should have just used Damon waynes in living color character. Glimmerman a Homie the clown story.

Twall

HESSE EPISODE YAYYYYY HESSE!!!

Quaritch

Mucho Gracias! Tres Bien!

Doug Cartel

You laugh but if he didn't have a sixth sense for guessing races they never woulda found that bullet hole

eza

in regards to additional co-stars in Castration Movie pt. II, have either Will or Hesse seen www.RachelOrmont.com yet, and can you please get Betsey Brown and Peter Vack on an episode of Movie Mindset?

Malcolm Donaldson

Glad someone reminded me of Castration Movie Anthology II, since I backed in on kickstarter but missed the update emails. Shame I missed the premier, but I wait for the Blu Ray for what is sure to be an easy breezy watch

Oliver Clozov

you we re the worst transpottation secretary we ever had

Braden Maccke

"And then he's like... And then he's like..." "Bwahh hahahaha... oh man. You should have seen it."

Valnas

Imagine all of the people living today. I try to imagine what the world would be like if Segal got the role in crouching tiger.

Chris

Good for him, politics are dumb

Bryan Williams

DYK that, had Deadwood been given a fourth season, Brian Cox's character and his acting troupe would've performed "The Mikado" by G&S? Whoever it was at HBO who canceled Deadwood needs to join Netanyahu at The Hague.

syd

and I'll listen every time, for some reason

Sam

How Did THIS Get Made?

syd

A movie review is Chapo's version of TrueAnon putting out a 3 part pre-recorded series during weeks where 9,000 things happen

Travis

😑

GoopyGoo

LETS FUCKING GO

bruce

thank you for this needle drop chris

Mike Kuzia-Carmel

The Credit Card Throat Slash was 120% influenced by The Three Stooges

Madeline

Petition for permanent third mic rotation between Ben Mora and Hesse. Jacques every now and then (as a treat)

Will

Lol love the chess riffs

ERIC

We don't tolerate generational warfare in this community unless it's aimed at the silent majority.

Ray

what is up with 90s villains falling off shit and being impaled at the end of movies

Wiley

Just imagine if Nick Mullen also guested on a Seagal episode

Nate Wood

we no longer need confucius

Hardcore Virgin

I love the headline for the reality of “cop slashes throats of 4 in downtown parking garage “

Will

I have never been angrier at someone who's name I'll never know before

Will

Also I was inspired to try to do an Seagal Elden Ring run, but beyond having Max Equip load at all times, I'm stumped at what else needs to be taken into consideration

syd

I will kill you

Basil

pass

Shiv

In case no one suggested it, y’all need to do an E1 Biden ep of many Segals (all the races)

Dongo

Conflict is not abuse!

Will

Well, if that's not the tipping point to get the DLC

RFK'S BRAINWORM

I'm not sure if anyone remembers but there is a reality show of Steven Segal as a sheriff in New Orleans. He basically just sits in a squad car and orders deputies to do his job

RFK'S BRAINWORM

I suppose you'd have to do a "pacifist" run. So maybe just all summons while you use a sitting emote

Shiv

Critical support for Keenen Ivory Wayans getting a Purple Heart for this

Shiv

*runs over to E1*

Jake

Ngl I don’t need this. Happy for them taking a break and I should too but idk

Schwartz666

"Steven, have your ever taken a train and eaten it piece by piece... after you just derailed it with your penis?"

David Cox

I quite liked how Seagal used an Apple Newton to thwart bad guys on “Under Seige 2”

drunk cig

"When the moment is right, you will already be Chinese."

Will

LAWMAN

Elai Kehler

I hate when Glimmer man takes over my thoughts LOOK AT THIS KATANA I JUST BOUGHT

Chuck

I can only see king Agamemnon.

parker

Tbf that's literally 80 percent of being sherrif lol

Chapo Bath House

I need to become stupider than I knew possible or I will kms

tyler

wonderful. makes for a great double-listening with How Did This Get Made’s ep on The Glimmer Man

James Duffy

Please go through the entire Seagal canon. It must be done.

Matt jbg

wish we had matt back for his insights on current stuff…lampooning weird films is all well and good but hogs like me need some more nutritional content in our chapo slop

Ronan Hart

I don’t know how they haven’t done The China Salesman, one of the most chapo movies ever created

Chapo Bath House

Love Liz, she can get to the bottom of three-tah and give an insightful Janet Malcolm book review in the time it takes for me to decide what slop I want to stream

burglerian jihad

see his role as ex-federale in Machete on the quest for his ethnic identity

Chapo Bath House

Years of lead paint Part of the damage is the psychological toll of expecting a catastrophe. Except it's so incremental, you can ignore it, and people will tell you that you are crazy, you start thinking that they're right. And then you're in maximum security with your sperm or eggs being forcibly harvested because you were honey trapped by an AI into admitting that you don't find John Oliver funny, but you appreciate that somebody is trying to teach Americans about high school civics.

Chapo Bath House

Ty, young intern 🙏. I know what it's like to inherit someone else's archiving system

Chapo Bath House

Justice for the woman on that track bc she goes in

T

"He's a little country, I'm a little bit Rock and Roll Part 2"

janedoe8265

Please direct your attention to 11:30 in this episode where felix fully produces a drowned-man gargling noise purely with the enormous quantity of spit in his throat. Him and will both do this. Swallow your fucking spit! Do you have rabies or something? Why are your bodies producing this much spittle? It's disgusting! Fuck! Seriously drink some diluted lemon juice or something to dry your mouths out, it's actually fuckin unnatural how much spit your bodies are producing, and it's extremely audible

the dumpist

Hell yes BeamNG mentioned.

T

Two Kings Chess exists and its name is, I kid you not, "Gay Chess"

Jake

Crazy that they forgot that Brian Cox was also in Deadwood

Max

He’s black but his home is Asia.

glaourgbn

how tf can i watch Castration Movie Anthology II ? like actually no irony how

MRSAful Fate

"What does Glimmer Man mean?" "It means Japanese Sword."

Michael S. Judge

the "looking in the mirror" bit kills me, because the line was clearly supposed to be some version of "I'm going to make sure that you're horrified every time you look in a mirror," but he got about halfway through the setup and said "Time to put whip a little Chinese on it"

Riley Stratton

“i dont like this” OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP WHO CARES, patreon worse than the yt comments sometimes

Jesse Brukman

Love a movie episode. Would be awesome to get more talk track episodes like the Star Wars jobs.

Twistedsister

Hesse Supremacy please make her third mic 🙏 🤲

B

hesse is funnier than 90% of comedians out. always fun to hear from her. been trying to work in how the glimmer man was a documentary in casual conversations

David DeCorte

All 5 hours of Castration Movie are playing in Tampa this Tuesday. Do I dare?

etienne

if you want to have a incredibly long, uncomfortable and disturbing experience you could just exist in Tampa

etienne

Da, comrade, this is what me and my tovarish Vladimir Putin call, the Caucasian Special

tendo

Steven Seagal and all the people who loved him were proto maga and it's important for us to understand this administrations' forefathers.

Benjamón Bellota

Incredible secondary effect—it would make Jacques so fucking angry

Henry

Chapo is and always has been primarily a video games and movie podcast

Henry

I'm sorry you lack the attention span for it. There are probably clips of the film available on tik Tok

Nate Wood

what makes you say that?

Henry

Genuinely one of the strangest developments of the chapo audience has been the influx of weird people who look to the podcast as some of sort political lodestar. To those people I would say a) just read a book and b) the pod has always been primarily focused on pop culture. It's time to grow up and understand that this is meant to be a sometimes-enlightening diversion

BR34D

as Steven Segal once said, "Where mama at?"

MCL

You say it like Zimmerman

Gumby 0000

The greater tampa area is a steven Segal movie (derogatory)

Gumby 0000

Much like tim pool, suffering from wet mouth syndrome (wms)

Gumby 0000

Chapo talking about Segal movies is always peak

Let's Get Medieval

Imagine Seagal putting down the script that made him weep and it was "Norbit"

Matthew

I know Felix and Matt already covered it on Time For My Stories, but I would give my eye teeth for a long form, episode-by-episode Chapo review of Deadwood

Ceruleania

Why is Ivy Wolk still being cast in movies?

Breakaway

“It’s crack. It gets you really high.”

Harry

God damn this is peak chapo content

DappaDan

LA: BECOME CHINESE

MKatieUltra

This Irish practical effects artist Bobby Fingers makes amazing dioramas of celebrity moments and he did one of Steven Segal getting put in a choke hold by stuntman Jean Leel, you will not regret watching that or any of his videos!

Jukka Surasti

Because we haven’t started cutting down the tall trees yet.

Alex Bauman

Steven Seagal didn’t play a cholo but he did play a Mexican cartel boss in Robert Rodriguez’ Machete. It seems like Robert Rodriguez has a thing about getting non-Hispanics to play Mexican cartel bosses (see Willem Dafoe in Once Upon a Time in Mexico).

Lilbean

The incredible mid century brutalist apartment the villain lives in is enough for me to be grateful to have watched this due to this ep lol

Kentucky Shitlib

I don't subscribe to Chapo's Patrion for movie reviews. With everything thats going on right now... come on...

Dee Rubes

Or Rome. Which took place during the fall of a Republic, where the only jobs were killing and grifting…

Tooffixer

My Chinese ass only moves diagonal, that’s why they call me the bishop

AB

This is google+ take your ass back to Facebook

Austin Orecchio

Be nice man he’s allowed to dislike it (let people dislike things lmfao)

Austin Orecchio

I feel that this episodes one big troll lmao

kiran

the old chapo seagal content is some of my favourite so this was a delightful callback

zakesters

Will is slightly misremembering the specifics of the continuity error regarding the name of the restaurant. Both the maître d'hôtel and the Glimmer Man refer to it as "Lento's" when talking on the phone at the beginning and end of the scene respectively. But, in the establishing shot outside showing the Glimmer Man walking in, the marquee reads "Marcus Steakhouse." Possibly, he's conflated this error with the contradictory one-liners the Glimmer Man uses at the beginning of the scene, when he snatches the phone and tells the caller to come anyway, despite the private luncheon, and the one at the end when he tells the caller not to come because the restaurant is undergoing a two-month long "renovation" (on account of his wantonly destroying most of the furniture and tableware.)

Noctor

Seagal running is the most un-athletic thing an action movie star has probably ever done.

Xi Jinpenis

Chapo started as a leftwing podcast that was absolutely centered on politics. A sycophant telling other people to grow up while they dick ride in a comments section is kind of hilarious.

Chris

Hesse is so fucking funny

Hardcore Virgin

I just came back to say this Her speech check 100 comment was lol

Griffin Smith

Will's bishop line might be my favorite one-liner he's ever done on the show lmao

etienne

the funniest fucuking thing the show ever did is when Covid started and they did like 17 back to back episodes doing a Star Wars Prequel re-evaluation series

Steeeeve

It'll happen to yoouuuu

Paul Nakis

“He wakes until she turns 18” The Patient Man

Paul Nakis

Ahh yes, the ancient Chinese art of phrenology

UNDED

"Violence isn't the answer, but the question!" Hesse killed me here