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This week on Chapo, Will and Felix go long on two reading series. First, we have a piece in the Jerusalem Post with a plan to finally win the war in Iran by drafting American debt slaves. Second, we have another John Fetterman exposé in the Wall Street Journal showing just how lazy, oafish, and entitled the man is, including him ghosting children's hospitals and complaining about police funerals.

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Comments

Kyle B

First

Mikey Cera

Holy moly, I got second.

Sheep

Hi chapos

birdguy123457

Kept us waiting for dessert, huh?

Nicholas

I always remember Matt singing that “Better Man” song

Flesh Colored Subaru

Every time one of these articles comes out, I think it would be fun to call his offices and leave abusive voicemails, but I guess everyone else has the same idea because the voicemail boxes in both offices are full

VaultBoy1974

Ever since this story broke, I was eagerly anticipating this episode. I almost want to play it at half speed to make the experience last.

Lukas Gerlach

Gay Obama be like, “I’m fourth”

drizzly_november

Shame on Fetterman for disappointing the one poor kid who spent his Make-A-Wish on a golem.

JD Nonce

Dunno what this drafting debt slaves thing is gonna be but what are they gonna do? Make them sit on a moldy old boat and kill themselves? Or are they going to do human wave attacks like Iran did on Iraq?

August1612

tenth or whatever who even cares anymore im gonna die alone

Ian H. B.

John fetterman goes back and watches the wild thornberries and gets depressed because nigel is a better dad than he is

Swaggypeepaw

Vetterman is the RXK Nephew JPG Mafia collab

David Sami

Football bit just kept going, i respect it and i think i might actually check out the peds this season.

original gay pussy eatah

The A24 movie about this where Jacob Elordi plays Fetterman is gonna go so hard

BigBoto

Bitching about having to go to a cop funeral is kinda funny

N0tagayman

I, however, am NOT gay.

N0tagayman

Love these long reading series episodes, but I am also NOT gay.

Troy Mesman

I am oinking so hard for my late slop thanks boys

N0tagayman

I love schizophrenia

Reece Coren

Ultimate Chapo move recording this right before Haaretz drops an article saying Netanyahu was warned about October 7th days before it happened and did nothing

A Kayyy

complaining about police funerals is the only good thing Fetterman has done

notbrian

scared my cats yelling “cant find a fetterman” around my apartment

Thom

Wake up, Sheeple

Daniel

I think I lost my mouthguard in the Giants' endzone!

gav

If you guys keep gassing up my fantasy players to start I’ll subscribe with a second patreon

Thom

He could've been dodging an assassination attempt

Alex Korman

I for one think that turning the military, a famously stable and rational group of people, into Netanyahu’s personal army of Shabbos Goyim would do wonders to end anti-semitism in the United States.

Evan Pitkin

Holy crap I also hear that every time Fetterman comes up. Glad I'm not alone. Damn. I miss Matt.

Xi Jinpenis

douching my smelly ass with Baja blast after a long hospital shift.

FlawlessNirvana

There's a pretty famous exchange from the congressional hearings that sums up the problem with a draft. One of the representatives asks Westmoreland why he would want to command an army of mercenaries. He said he'd rather command "an army of mercenaries than an army of slaves".

plainwrap

I believe the proper term for an American debtor conscripted into the war for Israel is "Goynissary".

Conner

J E T S jets jets jets baby let’s fucking go

Evan

Where is our dearest beloved Matt...miss his voice

Minnesota_Cold

Several clicks out, on a mountain ridge, you see a black dot move slightly. Is that an IRGC sniper team?? You try to zoom in with your Anduril helmet. Your entire field of vision is replaced with "Lenovo Vantage Plus keeps your device running smoothly and optimiz-"*CRACK* - the C-17 GlobeMaster carrying hundreds of coffins back home is running low on fuel so they have to slide you out over the Atlantic ocean

Daniel Marchant

"No, MY tummy hurts." --John Fetterman arguing with his son about who gets to stay home sick today

Richard Cochnar

Sleepy boys on this one. Need to get Kath back on to bring the energy up.

Warbs

Can't find a Fetterman

Warbs

Absolutely

Mike Bess

Chris is wrong! I listen and I love football. But prefer tennis. 🔥

megyn kelly’s dirty socks

(If anyone is actually looking for leftist sports podcasts, I’d recommend State of the League and Nerdsesh)

ploob

Don't call me daughterr!

ploob

"I'ma eat like twealve shkrimps.." JaMarcus Russel

PJ Renteria

Giants will never play another Superbowl. It’s not going to happen.

Sage

Finally a Gatehouse Ami reference

BigButteryBoy

ASOIAF series let’s fucking gooo!

CS

👆

Andrew Cross

shocked Felix didn’t compare fetterman to king vendrick in the DS2 players club

Alexander white

Gatehouse Ami Frey, Wife of failcousin Lancel Lannister

Jacobo

My cousin’s a union electrician earning hand over fist making Palmer Lucky helmets in Ohio. Between data centers, ice facilities and weapons of war the IBEW has its work cut out for them!

Travis

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and eleven seconds

Jack

Just beat Orphan of Kos. Ready for tommorow's ep 😎

Alex C

1:07:00 such a great point lol

Kitty

upside of the sleepiness is all the “vetterman’s” Will dropped

Declan Kennedy

maybe this is a two birds with one stone situation? feels like sending an ogre to fight the IRGC could be pretty effective, and you probably wouldn't even need to write off his debt 🤷

Scam Rodgers

Dude literally heard a gun shot and ran down the first black person he saw and pointed a shotgun at his chest... And this was way before the stroke

Keith

Gyms are a great place to pick up terrible infections.

That Guy

Anduril sounds like a drug you get in Florida that causes your tongue to rust

Liam Mills

Felix grabs my wrist and tells me to wait at 2 minutes and fourteen seconds

J K

Palmer Lucky is the Thomas Edison of people who point and move their mouth when they read of our time

Corey Fox

andurALL is fucking infuriating; like felix do you know what you’re talking about or not man??

Xi Jinpenis

it's a race home holding it in before I explode and spray that nectar if the gods all over my upholstery. I used to use code red but after a few accidents it looks like someone dumped a gallon of corn syrup on my seats.

Christopher Price

it's probably good that the large German named Matthew Christianman was not around for the first half of the episode

Enoch

About to do a 14 hour flight. Need that bloodborne drop pronto.

Joe Quigley

Speak a lil Hebrew for em, Fetterman

K

CANT FIIIIIND A FETTERMAAAAAN

Throw Away

Will’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century

Ethan Lamb

Senator Harry S. Plinkett (D)

Daniel Hagen

Felix actually pronounced Cyril Ramaphosa 100% correctly but Julius Malema is pronouned "MuhLAYMuh". From a South African Malema fan.

b-rar

Be cooler if you were

Michael Rosen

Who wrote this episode? Jonathon Swift?

Zach Sampson

They should get Fetterman those dog buttons to communicate

b2b saas purveyor

imagine how relieved fetterman was knowing that israel would soon get whatever they wanted regardless of legislators when trump won 2024

kayakayanaya

damn Gatehouse Ami catching strays

Chris T

And quoting from pedo docs he’s apparently been binging

Ozzie

Love that Nicole Mullen is getting op eds in the Jerusalem Post now

kitty pavlova

frowning and sitting through this eating my veggies so i can go listen to hours of bloodborne discussion for dessert

Squeet Deedle

Honestly Felix and Kyler Murray would probably get along

ST Promotion

he better be on some Christian Bale shit and start eating

ST Promotion

I guess this was worth waiting an extra day so yous can take your bougie holiday

Michael Rosen

Man, Felix got staff infections like I get Sinus Infections

HuffingGasInTheShed

I was waiting for the next pandemic but I’ll watch GoT if there’s a chapo series. Gotta get the pod yourself boys as guests

Edward K Swinnich

Adding T&Cs to candy bars that make you get drafted is like that Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode when Carl got his dick ripped off because that was his "prize" from the bottom of his drink from Wongburger

Justin

Has anyone done an MJ Fetterman type parody yet? Am I late to this? Because that came into my mind the second I saw this episode's title, for some reason.

Erumas

Sweden produces their own fighter jets and exports them to other countries. It’s SAAB Gripen, apparently quite a capable fighter.

Damen Irving

Good news! You are debt free. Bad news. You are dead.

Pedro

Nfl is a centrally planned league, with wage controls in the form of a salary cap and salary floor, revenue sharing, talent redistribution.

Dan Somick

Thank you Will for addressing what really matters for at least one New York/New Jersey listener: the Giants are going to the super bowl i love my big handsome chud quarterback

C. Andrew

Do the Chapo Boys know that Palmer Lukey got his start in, and still owns, retro video game reproduction company ModRetro? There's a very good chance the Iranians are gonna cut that drone open and it's gonna have the same FPGAs inside it that his N64 remake console has. Imagine your cruise missile having the same internals as a GameBoy Color. He is one of my top characters to watch, I bet he'll usurp Elon.

Nico West

Defund the police funerals

rough customer

Felix saying “I’ve had 20 staph infections in my life” really added some much needed context to his life

Scoundrel Babe

I can confirm that Felix’s scholarly takes on Alberta since visiting one time are correct.

Terry Buckley

When you do the same flub so many times it becomes the episode title

Jake Martin

Football for Leftists PLEASE.

Peter Flynn

AJ dies in Sopranos Season 8 when he crashes his helicopter, killing himself and his only passenger, Donald Trump.

Richard Cochnar

I’d just like to point out that Felix’s insight counter has officially passed the threshold where he can start pronouncing Hesse’s name correctly.

etienne

finally someone is going to start a podcast covering Wrestling from a Leftist angle

Dee Rubes

FYI the speech on fitness was 100% on point, was not opposed to fitness per se, and was simply clipped deceptively by trolls.

Lu

Our unstoppable army of Americas top debt holders, phd students and those who have been in car accidents

BolshieBostonian

Glad to see our GOATs willfully ignoring the big “socialism” conference. Ish was hella goofy

Tacitus Kilgore

As a sports guy/goy myself, I would unironically love barstool for leftists. I would be happy to listen but also participate

Damen Irving

Kitchen table issues to fetterman means getting pissed off his wife made spaghetti twice in the same week

Sammy Sneed

"85% of the job is showing up"

dwarrow_shent

48:45 Felix gets in his story about the Japanese and the protocols 51:20 Dybbuks mentioned

Miles

Thought that was Nick Shirley

delle_chiaie

why are all the comments hidden what is happening around here

K

She dreams in color, she dreams in red, CAN'T FIND A FETTERMAAAAAAAN

Jesse

Left Wing Barstool is an unironic idea I’ve had for a decade and I genuinely think it’s the only hope left for this nation

delle_chiaie

why has chapo censored me for using 'j ews' when I wasn't even disparaging them

Shiv

this mf said Vetterman

Jingle Jangler

Felix were you training at the blue basement with the DDS? how the fuck do you get 20 staph infections as a hobbyist grappler lmao

Nick A

Can only imagine what 'bad thing' Fetterman ate. An entire cow? Several villagers? Mill stone?

CamsAcc

Fun episode! Unfortunately Felix rattled off my activation codes (directly acknowledging the existence of Bannockburn) and I have to go out in a human wave attack against the White House tomorrow. been real 🫡

Carter Drake

Will is right Jets r up this year. Geno Smith’s a qb so nice we had to have him twice. (I’ve suffered for 30 years supporting this team)

mckinley faas

Ok but I think its actually rly cool he doesnt give a damn about dead cops lets give the big dumb fuck some credit here yall

ChigBungus

As a matter of principal I don’t pay medical debt. In the words of Jake from Pendejo time “I’m sorry but you’ve been robbed.”

drizzly_november

Hey, at my local Equinox we’re all on PrEp now.

Gus Frank

3 hours is a nonstarter

Gus Frank

Duncan Hunter actually blamed his son initially for the steam purchases expenses as “personal expense - to be paid back”. Two years later they found over $250,000 of misused campaign funds, some of which were later attributed towards plane tickets for the families pet rabbits.

ChigBungus

Fetterman is gonna pet someone to death like Lenny and they’re still gonna cover for him

etienne

been listening to Tipping Pitches for basically that reason, I don't even watch baseball I just love hearing them dunk on team owners

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

John Fetterman inspired Burger King to make the Unhappy Meals

etienne

they also have their own battle tank which is a very unique and interesting design, truly a great military engineering nation that punches way above its weight and remains fiercely independent

Thomas Stevens

They stake a goat outside his office every day and he keeps eating the chain

Nathan

Fetterman doesn’t want to work? He just did a video cameo at the Republican midterm convention. Feel stupid now???

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

Will you have on frequent Chapo Chat/Seeking Derangements guest/canceled “lecturer” (teacher) (as Nick Shirley described him) Matt Goldman for being fired for jokes?

etienne

the funniest part is when there's a en epic post that goes like "I've been a Fetterman staffer for the past 12 years: here's how it's even worse than you think" okay dude what's going on, are you in debt peonage to him

Tea for the Tillerman

Got 30 of the smallest oxys after surgery once and had the best week of my life just surfing AutoTrader.com in bed

Ian H

Admittedly, being the honorary mayor of a council-run neighborhood of Pittsburgh is pretty boring, doing 75% of the Ahmaud Arbery murder must've really livened things up.

Houthi & the Blowfish

They just keep Fetterman around and appoint him to committees in like a Dinner for Schmucks type thing

otis

Bailed at 1:40

Max

As a European I call in sick to work 3-5 times a year for food poisoning.

Tea for the Tillerman

I was a really shitty student of french but my brain always translates “dinner for schmucks” (one of the worst movie titles ever) to the significantly more elegant “Le Dîner de Cons”

Jessica

The expansion team full of rapists immediately winning a championship lowkey almost happened exactly that way in the NHL with the Vegas Golden Knights

Jesse Custer

Chris should be a permanent or at least semi permanent 3rd Mic. He was so good in the Hell of Presidents series

Mikkel Holt

i can’t for the day fet is no longer relevant and i don’t have to hear you two talk about this guy for an hour plus. snooze fest

Max Baier

All I could imagine during the food poisoning section of the article was that scene from ADWD where Strong Belwas eats the poisoned locusts, but it’s John Fetterman instead

whatever bro

oh my god let me feature on leftist barstool please

drizzly_november

And an earlier expansion wave included a team inexplicably named the Predators.

The Steel Harvest

Shit, who gave fetterman water after midnight? Now he's changing into a republican.

Spencer Martin

Will’s fetterman impression is getting scary good

Michael Morgan

Can't find a Fetterman (Can't find a Fetterman), Can't find a Fetterman (Can't find a Fetter-ma-an)

Besand

American Footballistas 4 Chapo!

Keith

Those must be some dangerous exercise machines.

Bud D.

WHO DEY

Jawn Feddermang

Happy Meal for guys who aren’t happy slaps

Alberto García

Critical support to Fetterman trying to not go to a cop's funeral

David Larisch Frazer

Not the Swedish air force slander! They have SAAB! They make cool delta winged stuff!

Mattc83

Can't find a Vetterman.... Can't find a Vettermannnnnnn

BlackWolfSkinwalker

I screamed like a stabbed piglet when Felix said "great news, it runs on Windows 11!"

Jens Uwe Kehrerc

Echt jetzt warum nicht deutsch ? Ah Untertitel Deutsch keine Ahnung wie? Ich kann dir den prompt trainieren verstehst du wenigstens 3 Wörter bzw kannst du das alles speichern es sind 3 Wörter ist nicht einfach aber ich mach ein Screenshot ok

Jens Uwe Kehrerc

Ich bin kein idiot ich gehe ein anderen weg ohne doc ...

Jens Uwe Kehrerc

Können wir nicht am Tag normal ohne Stress und abends ist das ok ich finde es echt krass was du so machst es ist lustig mich zu verletzen OK und außerdem Chattest du gerade mit dir selbst

Last Years Man

Felix's Fetterman voice is starting to sound like Chomsky

Zachary Sloan

As someone with personal experience with opiate addiction, I actually liked them specifically because they let me enjoy doing things I couldn't enjoy do before. Like I'd take them and then practice piano or something. I'd never just zone out - that would feel like a waste, so I'd try to do as much as possible while I was feeling good. For me, opiates felt identical to "the way you feel after an amazing work-out on a sunny day" - despite fucking up my life, the feeling was undeniably a really good one (at least early on). Meanwhile weed just makes me want to sleep. Makes it hard to think straight combined with a feeling of physical comfort, and I just want to lay down and close my eyes on it. I chalk it up to a mix of "drugs affect different people differently" and the likelihood that my opiate use was an attempt to self-medicate ADD symptoms (due to the way opiates act on dopamine).

Anna Grace

Felix, stop spoiling Sopranos for me. I am a Gen Z woman. They didn’t make us watch this growing up. I am in season 2 😭😂

Eric Sometimes

My new band name is Disabled Fettermans

Elliot

Let me in! LET ME IN!!

Reece Coren

Author Israel K. Israelman

Thomas Conway

)g) What of tmmoB(yg looki g o v 5( Veg

YourBabysFather

Why do you guys pay so much lip service to this guy? I mean seriously you talk about him once a month and dedicate entire episodes to him. He has less power than some mayors.