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So I (Chris) take one week off producing for a little vacation and somehow the boys manage to accidentally record all three of themselves into just one mic track for this ep? Idk I literally can’t leave these jokers alone for one minute. Our guest editor did heroic work getting this listenable, but sorry for the “chapo classic” audio quality.

Anyway, the boys are back in town and California dreamin' on such a winter's day, they discuss whether MLK's civil rights rings are legit or Mickey Mouse, ongoing COVID hysteria, demand parents leave twitter for Facebook, how shitty it is to be a kid these days, and finally Felix debuts his idea for an adult Six Flags Great Adventure.

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Comments

Archibald

Felix noises already abundant

Zach Pierce

Already Jacked it to this one…

Matt James Rich

Thank you for all you do Chris, enjoy your vacation!

Joshua Baker

Chris, glad you’re getting some time off! No worries about audio!

etienne

we complained too much about felix's mic and we had to get punished

Osborne MOCs

I tend to think Felix has the highest miss rate of jokes overall, but his hits are the hardest I've ever laughed listening to this show. "Snake Potato Skin" is an absolute all-timer, right up there with his joke about how getting head from an Israeli girl with braces is called an Iron Dome.

Purple Mids

"cold stone Steve Austin" is still an all-timer too

greg WELLS

Imagine being so bitch made you’re afraid to offend the greyzone needs

Ben L

Real ones saw Felix workshop the six flags bit in the middle of a masterchef episode

Andrew Chapman

I took a hit off my vape every time Felix did and now I have chronic Lyme

Rusty Shackleford

I don't know what anti-condom thing Felix is on lately but boy oh boy I am with it.

Shimosanz (Brian Sanchez)

I like the audio quality. Makes me feel like I’m in the same room with my pals Will, Matt, and Felix.

Evan Pitkin

Plz don't have kids they will be super fucking lame.

Gordon Schmidt

Swear to god someone takes a FAT rip off of something at about 14:50-15:00 minutes in. You can hear the exhale and everything. No coughing either. This shit is raw, I love it.

plainwrap

The Chapo boys could make an extra $1.5 billion per month if they learned to speak Mandarin.

William

Everyone's just doing their part to keep the goddamn capitalism wheel spinning. If they don't, they don't eat, so no use yelling at them until there's an actual alternative

calvin kilby

Cool joke dude I heard that one on cum town too

Daniel Schepper

Yo what flavor is Felix hitting on? Chubby Purp grape? Mango strawberry?

Ang

You’ve gotta make that bloody movie

Jeff Martin

The audio is ok on my end. Kudos to the wizards

William

Liberal frog is Gritty?!? Wasn't it?

Son of El Topo

Did everyone see that bizarre video of Eric Adams showing how to search your child's room for drugs? He's incredibly weird.

V

He is volume shooter.

PrinceVocalFry

The liberal frog would be like an androgynous 18th century dandy. Like a femboy Robbespierre. He's tipping a giant tophat to you (despite its anachronism) and winking or something. The ur-smug liberal piece of shit.

Derwood

The Harry Potter for Constitution nerds bit is spot on. Saw video of anti-masker lady in NYC saying "it's a violation of the 1964 Civil Rights Act section 2 if you don't let us sit down in the Olive Garden in Times Square!" Awesome.

Michael

The artificial sun is literally out of a James Bond movie. Though that was North Korea.

J P 3

Jan. 6th did fundamentally change something. Trump's lawyers were basically on the same continuum as Orly Taitz, DDS, Realtor, Esquire from 2009-2010. This Oath Keeper dude is a Yale Law grad. His genus is a hybrid of Rand Paul mixed with Ted Cruz mixed with other variants. I believe tcots of this variety have only achieved this same level of notoriety running as elected officials. Is this a new kind of guy, or does this fit within an existing tcot archetype?

backcheck

lately??? he’s been on it for a while

Part Time Stoic

That’s because he’s vaping coca cola

Dies Volt

Check off MPreg on your Chapo fetish bingo card folks.

Nick Lawrence

Like this comment if you’re loving the deep breathing throughout this episode

Hank Single

I dunno, a bunch of podcasters talking about how covid is 'over if you want it to be' strikes me as wildly sheltered, and ridiculous. How many years since one of you, like, had be in public for a living? Ever? Bad looks.

David Ramirez

Oh my god does felix breathe out if that vape

Ryan Gullage

Hank ain’t wrong. Nick also ain’t lying. Lawrence/Single Attorneys Baristas and Solsticists.

Max Gorcowski

This ep giving a lot of credence to the theory that 20s–50s actors’ nasally voices are simply a result of awful audio tech

Randy316

Anyone else thinking that the movie "2025: world enslaved by a virus" would be perfect for the boys, especially noting the pedo director/star?

Chris Wood

Great wolf lodge is a lot of fun for adults but you need a kid.

TugNuggins

Banger ep. Why does Christman sound like he's sitting in another room?

Shake zula

suckin' on chili dogs

Shake zula

it's obviously Felix vaping lol

DopeTipped's Raid:Shadow Lessons

As someone who automates out my own heavy breathing for a living, just wanna say love that heavy breathin, bless you beautiful bastards.

Scot Forsythe

The arc of moral history bends toward one mic

Matt James Rich

Also, the gender disparity in China is not 300 million, but it is still very high, from the Washington Post (take it with a lot of salt): "Out of China’s population of 1.4 billion, there are nearly 34 million more males than females — the equivalent of almost the entire population of California, or Poland, who will never find wives and only rarely have sex."

etienne

californians stay losing

Michael S. Judge

Steve Kerr is the CIA, and I'm not pursuing that analogy into his past at this time

Patch

Rippping that vape more than air.

Travis Jones

My God is Felix a heavy breather. Dude must saw logs at night.

Yacobum

No wonder Felix hates pitbull so much. He’s a fuckin pug.

Jessica Rios

Sure did. lol. I was pissed when he showed up because I knew he was gonna talk over the show.😂

Alexandr

Jesus Christ, Felix, stop Juuling on mic and get some fucking antihistimines in you.

Alexandr

Never marrying and only rarely having sex? We talking about my life here? HEYOOOOO

john mccainus

mind your soft drinks, ladies and gentlemen, because i just found out i'm chinese

JV

anti-asmr

JV

okay 13 minutes in and genuinely don't think i can listen to this full episode that vape noise is just absurd

Len

This episode really shows Chris's ability to make this listenable. That heavy breathing and vaping is sending me, oh my fucking god

Shiv

sign me up for Felix Vegas, home of “rollie coasters” as Matt calls em

Shiv

i enjoyed the Oath Keeping of the Clean Plate Club

lumb

There is also a weird thing where people who get to work from home can take covid very seriously while others who do in person work get used to human contact and stop taking it as seriously. At some point I had to stop caring as much so I wasn't in a 247 freak out mode.

nicedickdude

Just thinking about how Ernest probably wanted to die after having to listen to felix’s mouth sounds for a year.

Nimbly Bimbly As FUCK

Chapo Boys, lets take a trip to King's Island or Cedar Point. The only 2 things to do in Ohio

Flesh Colored Subaru

Did not realize how much of Chris's job was removing the sound of audible vaping

nicedickdude

Forcing anyone who says Jews aren’t inherent annoying to listen to this audio

Jon W

Won't lie. I miss Astroworld down in Houston. Tearing that down really was the day the music died

T. S.

I work an “essential” job and never got laid off for even a day. Overtimes out the ass since covid started in fact. Damn near everyone i work with shares the same sentiment as the chapo boys. Most of my family and social circles also worked essential jobs, same opinion. Every nurse i know, same view. This opinion is way more popular than the very online “we take covid very serious” left would ever care to admit

T. S.

Chris is the hero of chapo 🙏

Joe Amditis

We never really understood how much Chris saves this podcast and makes it listenable until today

Michael Kennedy

Chris is the real hero of the chapo verse.

William

This raises the question, have YOU been in public? Because I've been in multiple states and, yeah, people wear masks, but everyone essentially acts like it's over. Looks like projection doesn't just happen in a movie theater folks

Leon Sugarfoot

The liberal driller was recruited by the cia and snuck into the room to turn the mics off after last weeks episode

Nick Cole

Can Matt sit further away from the mic please?

syd

I, for one, like the vaping sounds, it makes me feel better to know that someone is worse with vaping than myself

floppy md

You guys aren’t gonna believe this but I asked my wife if she wanted to “get slappin” and she got turned off. Even more so when I clarified that it was needed to compete with china

etienne

I didn't get the chance to listen to the ep so far but just judging by this comment section it sounds like it's one for the times

TheWut93

Vaping into the mic all episode is aggressively annoying

Null_null

Thank you, Matt, for clarifying the hashtag childfree ramblings of your lunatic death driving co-host.

Null_null

Also, before the stans attack me I’m just joking. Will made some good points.

Nobody

Felix's idea for an adult six flags is just Dave and Busters

Isaac Jones

I don't ever want to hear anyone complaining about Felix vaping into mic again, THIS is how bad it could be

Josh

Miserable

Dick Warlock

Creating ChapoAnon: the theory that Chris intentionally sabotaged this episode so everyone could see how much work it is to edit the pod lol.

absoluteboi

the sound of felix's breathing is both soothing and sexy

orc

Some of the longest vape draws I've ever heard...oh wait that's actually Felix's breathing. Well actually, I can't really tell either way if that's heavy breathing or vaping

William Akins

Matt’s description of the Batman ride brought me back!

Tyler Gustafson

How many times can you possibly hit a vape while also speaking for a lot of that hour

Sean Enright

Really no clue who you guys are trying to be mad at here. It kept getting narrowed down.

Treaded Water

Anyone know what this track is they use to close out? Sounds boss.

Logan

Is his vape attached to his mic?

orc

yeah idk I've been in the office for basically a year, and I am pretty resigned to just getting the new covid every time. Not much we can really do about it.

Austin Heath

Just don't vape for one god damn hour Jesus fucking christ

Dean

Felix is holding the mic and his Juul in the same hand while Matt just yells across the room

blourche

bro put the vape down

Craig Foster

One of you guys get Covid or you vaping all the time? Also, who hasn't heard of fusion? lol

Dakotah

I did not realize how fucking sensitive most people are when it come to audio. Like I noticed the vaping, sure, but according to this comment section it's like Chinese water torture or something.

Needs More Marxism

You can hear Felix vaping every time he’s not talking lmao

Keenan Nilsen

I can’t wait to go to Podcast Park in Adult Six Flags so I can hit up the Chapo Trap Haunted house and walk through Joe Rogan House of Mirrors that make you look taller.

DJT

snake potato skin lmao

Dean

Fuckin Darth Vaper on the mic

James Roche

Will gets so aggro about COVID talk

Greg

Did Matt say Rolly coasters at 1:10:57? Is that a delightful Midwestern thing that I've never heard of or did he just mispeak?

Willmc

I have a friend who is a God at Planet Coaster park designs if Felix wants to take his six flags idea virtual.

Sam King

Loved listening to Felix vape and breathe heavily through his nose great job boys

Null_null

Posting your L’s I see.

Sav

“Parents want their kids in school bc they hate their kids.” Public school teacher here — it’s srsly shit like this that makes regular people hate liberals.

Matt

Felix. Swallow the mouthful of soda if you insist on vaping on the mic

Dan

I didn’t appreciate you, Chris. I’m sorry.

etienne

I can't wait until Canada allows me to go to US because you guys just got a fresh new batch of ultra-high tech coasters that haven't made it here since. I haven't even ridden a Rocky Mountain Constructions coaster yet. I need to get onto that, the coaster nerds have been hyping those super hard.

Oatmeal

B R E A T H I N G

Gwen Rebecca

Christ Felix, chill out with the vape for like 2 minutes

Matt Crossin

Funny ep so far but lmao chapo are *still* fans of the grayzone? So dumb.

Chris W

he may have meant that they solely reported it has a horse medication but i think there are some human uses for it (just not for covid)?

dead loser

"People want to feel like their doing something"

RB

Catch ya on the next one. The anti-asmr made this unlistenable.

SH

All timer episode. Getting goofy. Getting analog.

IHaveHemorrhoids

Felix often gets to the point where he's not insightful, he absolutely is not funny, but he does sound like a conscientious jackass. I love you for the most part buddy, but God damn you think you're the gift that socialist internet culture needed. Someone recently said you are less funny the more you try to be funny. Absolutely true. Funny how often these guys make references to hard drugs like they're so fucking familiar with it. Do you guys think doing coke 1-3 times every couple months makes you some true comrades? Felix just because you know what an opana and a Roxie is, do yo, u feel a connection with your "true homies"? Did you learn all your drug references from Future, Danny Brown, and Freddie Gibbs? Lay off the brakes You're out of your element, dude. I know I'll get flamed for this ( AND SO BE IT I'M GAY) but holy shit felix is constantly trying to make the point that he has done drugs in his life in some desperate attempt to look cool. It's extremely pathetic. Tone that shit down you're a lot easier to like when you're not actively trying to look cool I won't reply to replies so don't @me. I'll probably just be laughing at how seriously people are taking my reply

etienne

people were getting their youtube accounts shut down for telling people to take the horse paste. fit right into that "oh we need the Atlantic Council to vet the news to remove the Russian Communist Disinformastkaya". If it were me I'd go with a much simpler solution: if you post horse paste on the TL, men in white coats go to your house and give you a quad dose of Pfizer on your own shitty live stream

Fellow Worker

Found the reason you got hemorrhoids

Gorgatron888

Damn, could the boys choom anymore? Jaysus

Eric Valentino

Interesting artistic choice to place the microphone inside the mouthpiece of Felix's 500 W vape rig. Listening to this on my Sennheiser HD 598s + headphone amp gave me enough acoustic information about Felix's sinuses to brief the the team who will perform his septum surgery. additionally, I paired this audio with a video of an endoscopy and finally fulfilled my deepest sexual fantasy of being a Flaming Hot Cheeto eaten by Felix.

etienne

you motherfuckers have too good rigs for this. I listen to the pod on Panasonic drugstore earbuds and it's flawless. I also ran it on a pair of Sony HS8 and it's like ... sub ideal

Matt Murphy

balls are blue for Unblooded Pt III

Matt Crossin

maybe that explains some of the weirder covid takes here. Weirdly fatalistic about the US outcome, and tonally a lot of this is at odds with the episode about the state of hospitals/ICUs…

Eric Valentino

Etienne, heed my warning and DO NOT upgrade, take a lesson from me and save yourself from a lifetime of chasing the dragon that is a snack food based vore fantasy in which you’re eaten by a mouth breathing Jewish podcaster you’ve parasocially attached yourself to

Jessica S

I’m a parent with two kids in elementary and I’m so tired of everyone focusing on COVID. Get vaccinated or, like Will said, go with God. Keep your kids out of school if you’re frightened. Don’t complain about safety measures while simultaneously saying schools should be open. Add the vaccine to the other mandated vaccines for school entry and then STFU. Parenting sites or groups online, all of it - there is no greater torture and now it’s insufferable. Segregate away. I’ll see you all in another 10 years when the coop is empty.

Greasy_Jones

possibly a reference to THE DEVASTATOR

SF

what

Greasy_Jones

are there any good diesel-powered vape rigs on the market

kyledamon96

I'm double vaxxed and I choose not to get a booster. Life is happening, sure, but I still have to wear a mask 8 hours a day SMH

Julie Baxter

Love yalls silliness and agree that's the only answer.

Jessica S

I guarantee you that Chait et el kids are at schools that could’ve been open whenever, and if not they have all of resources in the world to make sure their spawn doesn’t skip a beat. Fuck off and die. Also, I like Felix’ school proposal. Tell us where to sign up lol.

Hank Single

I'm not here to tell folks who havent been allowed or able to avoid the threat, how to handle it. I'm saying: it's ridiculous listening to podcasters who get their treats delivered and make a living without having to leave the house, express that they are 'tired' of folks taking the deadly airborne virus seriously. Doubly so when those podcasters broadly imagine themselves to be leftists, and in the rare position to advocate for leftists, and still end up whining - not about not being able to do stuff, bc as they say, they can do whatever - but about other people being overwhelmed about the crisis. They used to be better at hiding how comfortable they are.

rctii

Felix's Vape Mic was working overtime.

Hunbun

Please leave felix's vaping and breathing in future episodes, it's calming.

S

Sounds like someone didn't get a Felix courtesy like on their twitter reply!

IHaveHemorrhoids

Felix tweets? Oh God, that's gotta be rough.

Jason

Vape ASMR

Matt

I'd like to welcome chapo's new 4th mic, Tony Soprano's nose breathing.

Lucas Potter VII

I’m glad you left in the sound of a bulldog taking a nap

cwen

Is that Felix snoring the whole time?

Shimosanz (Brian Sanchez)

@T. S. Yea I work in healthcare and it’s largely the same sentiment as well. This dude just wants to appear righteous.

eve

I met a three-legged husky named "Ruth Bader Ginsburg" 🤡🔫

Robert

I literally just got permanently banned from r/worldnews on Reddit for stating that the vaccines do not stop transmission. What in the hell is going on?

Cyclops giraffe

When I first heard about Dave and busters I thought it was adult theme park but it was just a Chuckie cheese I was allowed to be drunk at. Still looking for that experience. If you build it we will come.

truestruggle

No wonder I'm insel, I listen to asmr vape pods.

Matt Crossin

The vaccines do *reduce* transmission though

Boaz Corey

It sounds like somebody is just constantly vaping into a mic.

Boaz Corey

But what about biopharma companies getting perpetual multi-billion dollar gov't contracts for new variant vaccines?

etienne

if they sell you a vaccine that's double digit percent efficient at preventing hospitalization, you're already breaking even

Jack Nieker

On the Covid stuff, the best description of liberal reaction is an old conservative term you don’t hear much anymore: Virtue Signaling

Noah Cutts

Why do you pay for an extra episode every week if you hate these guys, especially Felix, so much?

Bobby Volcano

Motion to remember the third Monday in January as "Chris Wade Appreciation Day"

rocketfodder

Could we please get a lapel mic separate for Felix's vape for all future episodes? It really helps the hot couch ambiance.

Ian Priest

Love listening to **sccccchhhhhh** unedited Chapo

Shauna Seroquel

Posts like this remind me of those 'Reasons Why I Won't Be Seeing the Joker' reviews lol...

etienne

all i wanna do's [huffs vape] [mechanical keyboard clacks] [heavy breathing] [sniffle] and take your monney

etienne

what's your fave at Cedar? Maverick or Steel Vengeance? Or you're one of them Millenium 2000 hipsters?

K102.1FM Mornings w/ Jonny Corndogs

Jesus, who is doing all the constant vape drags?!?! You're going to die of popcorn lung by 2023 at this rate! (I would ask who was doing the mechanical keyboard clacking, but we all know who that was)

tatgoo

pretty sick the vape got a whole mic to itself

Charvis Blutchard

Tinky Winky just wants to be held and occasionally cries during sex but eats ass ravenously. Dipsy has an unbelievably bustin’ boipussy. La La can throw it back so good it makes your eyes cross but she’s into that weird daddy/little girl shit. Po is a he/him lesbian

SF

Being an anarchist is dumb too but that hasn’t stopped you from being an anarchist.

Jeffrey Wheeler

The liberal frog is Kermit drinking tea smuggly

Irrelevant Elephant

Yall boys need to get to fucking Cedar Point outside Cleveland.

Tristan Abbott

the depth and frequency of Felix's vape hits are freaking me out

Nick A

Visualizing Felix as Tim Heidecker in On Cinema when he nearly died from a horrible vaping addiction. or Steve-O back when he was addicted to whippits and breathed more nitrous than air.

nadia

i will cherish the brief moment in time that i thought i might have been the first one to comment about the vape

Alexander Fedderly

Does anyone know which episode is the one where they talk about the coolness/swag factor being the determining factor in presidential elections? I remember them going back through history and realizing it holds up.

Sean Enright

What about it? Yes, this mode of production can lead to corruption no matter what is being produced. What else is this conclusive of regarding the vaccine?

Sean Enright

So it’s not about people dying and hospitals being overwhelmed?

CHET_BIGTRUCK

It's the opening theme to Big Trouble in Little China, you can search "Porkchop Express" on youtube

BS

on one hand i appreciate what chris does so much more now, knowing all the vaping he has to edit out. on the other hand... i love lo-fi chapo. is chris the chapo phil spector? sometimes creating wall of sound gems and other times over-producing the hell out of our precious boys? maybe we'll never know. until we get "chapo... naked."

etienne

awww man didn't get to it yet. Soon!

Arturo Quintana

The vaping is making me want to kill my self

Arturo Quintana

I didn’t know chapo had a resident serial vapist

Null_null

There’s a lot of context missing here. They also added some explicit caveats. It helps if you know the exact type of compliance scold they’re talking about. Tends not to be lowly wage workers. More likely to be the people posting online about how their cashier didn’t have their mask all the way on.

etienne

China mobilized delivery systems to send everyone under lockdown enough food to tough it out, right on their doorstep. Liberals are telling grocery store workers and the general public to go cough at each other in the same aisles, but decked out in masks. That's the difference between virtue and virtue signalling.

Bobi Jon-son Kenobi

I had the exact same thought. Felix, his face beat red with a man bun and open chest shirt wheezing

etienne

okay now release the raw unedited tapes of Felix talking about Syria that Brendan cut from episode #2

Nimbly Bimbly As FUCK

One of these days Comrade! I love cedar point, but King's Island as a park on the whole, is better imo.

V

Chris Wade is the difference between Chapo being great vs good. You da real MVP.

etienne

Kings has two B&M hypers? that's kinda cool and I'm definitely putting this on my todolist but why And that new terrain woodie looks pretty sick but it's built by a bureau I've never heard of and there's also zero hype to speak of. Intruiguing

Nimbly Bimbly As FUCK

Yes! Diamondback and Orion are the B&Ms, and they're great. Love the clam shell restraints on both. Loads of airtime on Diamondback. Mystic Timbers is fucking amazing! And, The Beast at night is one of the greatest experiences you'll ever have!

danny

that was like last week brother

Jessica Rios

Seriously. Too much common sense in one post.

Jessica Rios

No it’s not a midwestern thing. He was just being weird.

Alexander Fedderly

No, it was several months ago. Maybe a year or so ago. I'm sure it's come up again here and there in passing, but they had a big segment about it a while back.

Jessica Rios

The thing is that people talk out both sides of their faces. My people are all professionals and in public we say the right things to show we take it seriously. But in private? Literally like it was 2018. NO thought of Covid or social distancing. Drinking out of each other’s glasses, making charcuterie boards and dancing and hugging. Screw it. YOLO.

Greg

Thanks for the clarification!

max longtin

Love even the small amount of Chapo sports content. Good episode boys

Major Powers

Does Felix vape through a bipap mask?

etienne

let's go Giants, Islanders, Yankees, Bills, Knicks, Rangers, Jets, Nets, Mets, and the Harlem Globetrotters

Lili Mandl

this episode is golden and the vaping made it even better.

Sammi

Then stop!

Luccia

fuckin darth vader in the background i LOVE it

caroline

guys this is serious felix is on a ventilator

LEAH NELSON

As a 2020 highschool grad and second year college student I appreciate Sympathy for the Zoomer

Al Telstar

Felix is vaping through a hole in his neck, right?

John Brown

Who the fuck is vaping into the mic the entire episode it’s driving me crazy

John Baker

The breathing gave me Havana syndrome

EZ

Ay shout out to Greyzone. Check out moderate rebels

Gabriel Bowater

In Korea theme parks are mostly 20 somethings on dates and there's cheap beer everywhere. Good shit

VAN Fan

It's true tho

etienne

did you know that Walt Disney made the Imagineers redesign parts of Disneyland so there wouldn't be any makeout spots?

Stephen Giroux

Think it was the live episode in brooklyn

Evan C.

I want Elmo to be the liberal frog

Hector Jaime

Amazing episode! “Pustule on the media’s ass” is genius. But, What are broomers? Matt said “broomers”.

Logan

That SUCKS

SF

Thanks for dunking on Matty Yglesias boys.

Leah Wiseman

As a parent of a kid in school right now, I actually appreciated the guys discussion of schools and covid. I'm pretty tired of people without kids repeating the lie about schools being closed for two years, they're just fucking clueless. At least in my school district there's a strict mask mandate and they do contact tracing so they know when a kid got covid at school (doesn't happen much) vs getting it somewhere else in the community (overwhelmingly what actually happens). It's the best we can do.

Blake Patraw

i love how loud felix's breathing is this episode

Alice Pooper

wait until Chris has to edit out Felix’s electrolarynx

Scott

This is one of the best Chapo eps all time, I will remember this until the day I die