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699 - The Talented Mr. Santos (1/19/23) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-01-20 03:51:32
Edited:
2023-01-20 04:03:39
Imported:
2026-06

Downloads

Content

We dive back into the the increasingly absurd lies around the House’s new great CONgressman. Then, updates from the Hochul imperium here in New York, more news of our very bored and very depraved Fort Bragg soldiers AND: will AI sexbots replace YOUR loved ones? More at 11.

Files

Comments

MaoistMailman

You did it again! It’s 2023 chris

Slime_Golem

I wish someone would shoot me in the face and neck like blaow

Thom

patiently waiting for the bulk of the bell curve of boomers to disappear with the same intensity I watch a burrito turning in the microwave

Dave

Was just listening to Matt chop it up with Deacon Jon.

Kentucky Shitlib

The first drag queen congressman is a Republican folks! This slop writes itself!

parker

I can't wait for trump to pick the good drag queens and the bad ones and basically criticize specific stylings of them.

Aaron Scott

I say we wait for his first real policy positions... maybe Santos is the road to Medicare for all...the ultimate con on republican voters

csalyer .

George likes his chicken sloppy

Paul F. Holzfäller

The messiest bitch ever has now entered into the House of Representatives.

T

All I wanna be is George Santos

Ethan

My dad got that bottle opener for a work gift it’s actually pretty sick

mike

Finally the content i crave

Bjarne Sharp

So cute that you believe in generational determinism. What a fella you are

Thom

eat a d bitcch

Jon

I love when Twitter shows me Will's liked tweets during the week. It's like a trailer for the slop to come

COM

Thanks, how else would I do the dishes without killing myself

Bjarne Sharp

In the mid 1980s as the Soviet Union entered its terminal crisis, in Albania, following the death of Enver Hoxha, the greatest revolutionary of the 20th century, a dedicated cadre began preparing the long term plan to save communism. Having studied American culture assiduously, including the cinema, they arrived at a plan. At a gathering near the Large Lake of Prespa elements of Soviet, Chinese and North Korean intelligence who had retained revolutionary coherence despite leadership squabbles put in to action a plan for the ultimate defeat of the imperialist enemy. Selected Albanian families would be sent to shelter in North Korea to nurture future agents whose European appearance and extensive training would equip them to be sent to America to put in motion the final steps that would bring the hated American Freedom to an end. George Santos is their greatest achievement.

Gary LaRocca

Santos claims he is Keyser Soze??? If that is in fact how it is spelled...

Thom

Im fucking your girl friend while ordering her Pizza Hut with extra cheese

Major bit me

George Santos is Republican Slippin Jimmy

I am become reply guy

Can someone explain Felix’s fascination with this Austrian empress?

Major bit me

Go on Jack Murphy’s website, he’s a very proud operator living the lucrative “former” operator lifestyle. Most likely, his juicy anonymous sources are just a limited hangout

Major bit me

He went from special forces deployments to the Middle East in the 2000 (which he says he doesn’t regret), got a Colombia Polisci degree in 2014, starts a military blog, it quickly blows up, now he hosts a podcast with a green beret and had a TV show on Discovery Channel. Now he’s getting incredible anonymous military sources, damn where have I heard this story before

G

The tweet saying Santos “reduced dogs” instead of rescuing them is an amazing Freudian slip

Goff Costello

Laughing every time I see George Santos wearing a Cartier 'Santos' watch to remind him what his name is

Andrew Cross

gonna get kitted out with $150k of the latest US army issue gear, then get blicked up immediately by some 15 year old Iraqi who is doing the sigma face 😏😯

Scot Forsythe

I’m pretty sure “COVOCO” is voice farming for AI in the guise of voice over audtions

drewb

Adam Curtis voice while something ominous by Boards of Canada plays in the background

K H

First, dogs are mans best friend, not as good as whales, but obviously that's why they can be friends with us. Anyone that causes or allows a dog to die should be executed and that is why pitbulls are the greatest dog and friend of man. Because they execute the most humans. I'm confused by this egirl op because I don't really get how even more specifically targeting schizophrenics will advance the military agenda unless the objective is to release them back into society for mischief making. I'm starting to think the mind control acid telekinesis guys don't know what they're doing. China is meanwhile going to come out with actual SPARTANS or 40k demi humans. If you want to outcompete an ai literally just draw a hand correctly. Ai are superior in horror though so don't try.

K H

Do we know his real name yet? Sticking with Santos?

YukiNukem64x

A couple of years back I joked that struggle-sessions was an AI that was fed Marx Engels Lenin Stalin and Mao quotes. Take that how you will.

K H

On a serious note. I haven't gotten to use the new ChatGPT yet, but I am actually hopeful based on what I've seen that it can be an effective tool for teaching which most people don't get anymore. In general, the onus of learning is placed on the student rather than the teacher because not enough teachers exist to make that viable in capitalism. Because of how broadly these ai can function, they may actually be able to identify and explain logical errors to humans learning concrete concepts like math and science and can also be a useful tool for parsing history. So each person can have a personal tutor.

Owen Lawson

I was thinking Gilles de Rais then he goes and drops it with the SVU yes baby let's go

Alexandr

OKAY. WHO ACTIVATED STICKY KEYS AT 37:49

Alexandr

Forget about Freeman!

Lexe

All George Santos wants to be, is someone else.

Lexe

Who is this Empress CC, of which Felix speaks?

J Vladcliff

I feel like Santos could have a presidential run in him

RDB

Empress Elisabeth of Austria, who went by "Sisi"

William

I don't believe any of this is actually AI - most of the chatbots are just large language models that predict the next word on the basis of what has come before it. Teachers can already do the things you mention, and usually better than programs. It'd probably be more beneficial to just spend more money on them than further tech development

Ascetic Blur

When God takes away a Herschel Walker he gives you a George Santos.

Steve Joseph

great EP and yes, throughout history unpaid and bored armies have engaged in this behavior. the answer is disciplining your branches and keeping active numbers lower in times of peace. but of course, we can't as a country ever be in peace because of the military industrial complex

C. Ries

Why do people pretend that unless it’s a Turing test passing general ai that’s self aware than it’s not ai

ClownBabee24

I dont know why ppl are still surprised when NY Dems self sabotage. Theyre obviously doing this intentionally lmao

Steve D

Sadly, if Gawker was still around, Santos is toast by September 2022 at the latest. They would eat his heart. We would know about 5 more hilarious scams and also we’d have videos of him doing all sorts of drugs.

K H

You aren't going to get more teachers. That was my point. ChatGPT can even make corrections to some suppositions. While a teacher would generally be better, these ai offer a benefit similar to video play back in that something can be gone over an arbitrary number of times any time of day.

aida beats

I noticed the army influencer ladies on TikTok and I started asking them about the fall of Afghanistan

Jack

nice title, feeling a banger

Elai Kehler

never felt worse listening to Chapo than the bit about the psy-op operator girl amazing episode

EaZy E

It’s too bad they keep demonizing George Santos. If only he voted to do genocide in Yemen or Palestine, or enabled child rape. We can work with those things, but being a serial liar about the dumbest things is apparently taking it too far

Ardy Rezv

The chapos would rather vote Biden. Sadly they would only send ironic support.

Ardy Rezv

Congress has standards!

Mark Cichra

“This is the one thing we didn’t want to happen” yea Brass Eye

No

Somewhere in heaven Hubert Dreyfus is looking down on all these AI morons and smiling knowing that he's still winning

No

All Watched Over by Machines of Horny Grace

Demented Avenger

"Alison Wonder has the worst Liz Taylor impersonation! The real Liz Taylor didn't wear that much makeup. Totally gross!"

Demented Avenger

If you meet the ghost of Joseph Göbbels, you don't ask if he is sorry for his many misdeeds, you ask how Lída Baarová was in the sack.

Michelle

The comment threads would have been all over the stolen Burberry scarf. Per CNN, another roommate said he stole one of his Armani shirts!

Sergeant Hare Apollo

Does anyone know if the Drake Band of Brothers AI image is posted anywhere? I searched Google and Twitter and found Felix’s tweet about it but not the image. Thank you 💖🫡

Derwood

oh my God that Santos debate clip made me shout. He didn't even bother picking a different food, just repeated haagen dazs. He's awesome.

SH

Link to the ft Bragg story they were talking about?

brodie

Trying to phase shift into true blood and accidentally shifting into true detective

Gordon Schmidt

If they invent sex robots I'm gonna be the last guy cranking it the old fashioned way

Gratch

That Fort Bragg story reminded me of one of the last great HBO shows: Barry.

Ryan Malone

I love Matt, but man his doomerism has gone from tedious to just…clearly unfounded? To say the TikTok teens “will never experience something ineffable and beautiful” seems insane to me. They’re just kids fucking around like every generation ever, just in a different way. I’m fairly certain many of them will still have families or at least see the Grand Canyon or whatever. Disclaimer: still love Matt!

etienne

I found the first Transcendental tiktok the other day in the knowyourmeme page for "corecore". It was objectively ineffable and beautiful. It was like 45 meme videos all edited and glitched into one another with a spastik plunderphonic track to me it's basically like finding the mcguffin film from Infinite Jest

etienne

this is like if Emergency Broadcast Network was their The Beatles and now they were at generating their own Kid A

orc

I am also a spectrum customer (but the other way)

orc

The Last Jacker

Sheep

when felix mentions the boywives 😰

MinkL0af

I thought these guys actually cared about delivering commentary on political economy, and giving informative takes when major shifts occur, but apparently not, seeing that they are yet to note that we have just now opened the gates to the final frontier of economic expansion in the global market. For years we've been saying that we are at the very end of history, and that capitalist expansion has reached its outer bounds in all directions, but we failed to consider one thing: legalizing sports gambling in Ohio. Oh, you thought this economy was already spinning down the drain? You thought that there were no more opportunities for capital expansion that could catalyze actual economic growth and save us from immediate catastrophe? WRONG. We have just awoken the greatest dormant stimulus this world had to offer, reigning in an age of novel spiritual actualization, in the face of the the death of an ages old, mighty contradiction in our society, that will uphold the global economy, and in fact propel us to the stars through AT LEAST Q2 of 2023, and your silence on this is harrowing.

etienne

you need to just listen to Trashfuture

Luis Zamarripa

Corecore showed up on my fyp three days ago and it just felt like a schizophrenic episode

Conner

Nice

Alex Berkowitz

Dr. Freeman! We hoped for one more fighter to help storm that barricade. We... never dreamed it would be you.

etienne

NY State also had a really nice right-to-repair law in the pipe and Molecule just dismantled it right at the finish line by adding a clause by executive order. disaster

Zachary Sloan

Someone else has probably mentioned this, but I though Felix was talking about Empress Dowager Cixi at first and was very confused

Richard R

Classic Chapo regular guy stuff episode. Thanks brothers.

Alex

CC Babcock? I’m at a loss with this one

Andrew Cross

empress elisabeth of austria

Andrew Cross

no that’s a boonta vista bit

Khemith

Tik Tok teens don't go anywhere.

justdave

They'll probly have batteries. I assume

Yup

bit of a literalist, are we?

Ryan Malone

Not at all. Just a guy who respectfully disagrees.

Of course

I thought Chapo (maybe Felix, maybe Matt) already said that crypto was waning because online sports gambling was now legal.

SaintVitus

Republican 2024 presidential primary debate, Mancow vs George Santos, who wins?

Poppy Chulo

There's a video of Santos in Brasil in complete drag.

dingbat44

If you cant understand a real sigma male grindset I'd suggest not criticizing and instead try to learn something from a master.

Matthew Dunn

I was thinking the same thing.

DS

I think chefs call it a roux.

Jon

mAyBe iF mAcHinEs TakE tHeIR jObs It WiLl mAke ThE PeOpLe CrEaTe BeTtEr StUfF

aarinsanity

Santos should be Trump’s new running mate. They both lie so much they don’t even know they’re lying

Poppy Chulo

Chapo fans love their non-sequiturs. Take it on the arches faggot.

T

"It's not a lie if you believe it." -George "Costanza" Santos

justdave

I am George Santos

Khemith

The machine can create infinite desire. It can create this from pure sign value. Matt has speculated on the way it "ends" but you seem desperate to feel the end. You will be forgotten by the behemoth of desire, stepping away from the Earth to the kosmos. Turning it all into McDonalds Happy Meal toys (It's last command)

Poppy Chulo

Francophile Chinese chefs...

Matt James Rich

Also, the last name is Lujan is Dutch, not from a Balkan language.

Zach Pierce

Komen for the cure had NFL wearing pink cleats and armbands. Of course it was a right wing organization.

Zach Pierce

Paper Moon AND Matchstick Men callbacks? Extra points, folks…

K H

I bought a Bottle Breacher. I use it to open my gay potions.

Poppy Chulo

Time for the new slop, let's fucking go.

etienne

I had to commute to *and back from* work today without a free ep. this is just torture

Alexandr

I am Jorge El Santoooooo

markers

Thanks Felix for butchering our street names lol

AI gore

If this is a conversation...

Camille Shultz

Santos’s “Paddington Bear outfit” cracks me up every time Felix says it!