demo 100 (!!!!!!!) : walking around in the rain (Patreon)

oh SHIT. we did it! 100 SECRET DEMOS!

I'm actually really glad that I didn't register it was demo no100 until I went to upload this - I think if I'd realised before writing it the pressure may have been too much. that said, I'm a little bummed that both demo 100 and 99 have been sad songs BUT such is life/my mood right now and perhaps it feels more important (and in the spirit of the SDC) to be honest than to be peppy for the sake of the occasion.

anyway - here is demo no.100, 'walking around in the rain'. it really doesn't get any more emo than a good soggy, pensive walk

piano scares me sometimes. it really is not an extension of my limbs in the same way the guitar is but I'm realising that that can be a good thing. when I wrote this it was certainly a good thing - there's something unfamiliar and exploratory and naive about piano for me and when it clicks, it's extra gratifying. like when you meet someone who doesn't open up much and you manage to break their walls down and coax some real honesty out of them.. it means all the more somehow than if they were an open book; they chose you to open up to. piano is like that for me; it doesn't let me in all that often but when it does I feel very lucky!

as always you can stream this song within the patreon site or mobile app (where you can save offline) and/or download the attached file for keepsies. if you feel any kind of way about it I welcome feedback in the comments

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lyrics:

this - might just be a good thing

this - could be the making of you!

take a break & hug your friends, distract yourself and make some plans! be the woman that you are, take control and drive the car

but lean in - cause this could be the making of you

why am I walking around in the rain

trying to make sense of the change

trying to find the good in the pain?

I feel alive!

thinking how could I throw this away?

somebody come and tell me

what to do

‘cause no one else could love me like you

(at least that’s how it feels right now)

hold on! it’s what your whole body wants

but let go! cause you need to let go

now i’m

losing the days of the week

walking til I can’t feel my feet

anything to get me to sleep

I’ve been taking on all the advice

always reserving the right

to change my mind

but still i’m

walking around in the rain

trying to make sense of the change

trying to find the good in the pain

sleep deprived

thinking

how could I throw this away?

somebody come and tell me

what to do

no one else could love me like you

(at least that’s how it feels right now

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thank you all so much for being here, for propping me up in SO many ways. you are collectively the backbone of my entire project & I feel so lucky for my music to somehow have found it's people. y'all are my true inner circle - love you forever, SDC.

OG xxxxxx

ps: I'd like to do something in August to celebrate this demo milestone with you all - any ideas?