demo no15: 'isn't fun anymore' (Patreon)

HEY FOLKS! Welcome to your June demo, ‘isn’t fun anymore’ :)

I’m away for the weekend at a little festival called Barn on the Farm (woOP) so I’d like to tell you about the lyrics now, rather than in a separate post!

So when I was younger, I had a few big fears. One was that robbers would sneak into our house at night, one was DEATH and the other was that my parents would split up. If you met my parents you’d probably laugh at that, because luckily they are the most content, well-suited pair of people I’ve ever met. But they’re not the hand-hold-y, public-affection-y type and never have been, so at 7 or 8 when I first saw other couples all over each other I decided there and then that my folks were putting on an act for me, that they were actually just bored of each other and done with their marriage (what an absolute bloody drama queen). Like I was so, so sure of this; years on I found my first scribbly diary entires about it, detailing how they didn’t speak to each other for one whole Friday evening and wondering how they’d break the news to me that they were breaking up. looooool.

They didn’t split up. They’re still together, poking fun at each other every day. But I think this initial fear left me oddly fascinated by the idea of an old, perhaps stale relationship, and what that might feel like. So that’s where I took this song - I had the chorus lyric for a few weeks - ‘maybe it’s inevitable, but this just isn’t fun anymore’, and I tried a couple different routes - writing about music and how overthinking it takes the enjoyment away, or other experiences that I’ve had personally. But instead, I imagined up a scenario and ran with that. It was really fun (though a little heartbreaking) to do. My head dug quite deep into it.. even though I never needed all the details I imagined up the couple, gave them names, jobs, decided where they might live, what they might look like. It sort of helped me fill in the blanks with small, real life details, like the routine of flicking on the news every night.

So, yeah, that’s it! :) I really hope you like it guys, as always it would be magical to hear what you think.. any feedback good or bad is most welcome! I have a comment question for anyone who would like to answer it (and indeed anyone who actually reads this far into the post!) - what was your biggest fear when you were young? :)

lyrics: 

it’s the same routine

scene by scene

look me in the eye

are you not bored?

flicking on the news

kicking off your shoes

on the bedroom floor

got a tear in my eye 

i tell you i’m tired

but i’m not tired

i miss chat up lines

and first times

the goodbyes

that we dragged out

now it’s just a wave

not a lot to say

do you have doubts?

you’re putting out your hand

with your sweaty palm

i don’t wanna hold it

MAYBE IT’S INEVITABLE

BUT THIS JUST ISN’T FUN ANYMORE

oh i’m nicely dressed

in my sunday best

and i touch your chest

but you don’t care

so i bite my cheeks

and i walk the streets

just to breathe air

oh it’s so comfortable 

it’s insufferable

i don’t wanna hide it

(chorus) 

we’re so tangled up

it’s hard to know

how we might function on our own

i’m scared that we might never know  

i think it over every night

then face the day and wear a smile

shit we’re living a lie 

(chorus)