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grandad (Patreon)

Published:
2017-07-21 17:13:23
Imported:
2026-06
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hey everyone!


on wednesday I flew home 'til the end of the month! what a treat. I played a super small acoustic show last night & heck, it was so fun. amazing vibes, new tunes went down well (I played 'inevitable' on electric guitar, super reverb-y.. sounded ace).


tomorrow my folks are off on their holiday to the west of Ireland (where I'll join them next week, woO) so I helped my mam pack & went with her to visit my Grandad Charlie in hospital. I mentioned it before but he was diagnosed with dementia at the beginning of this year & unfortunately it's escalated past the point of him being able to live at home.. even with a carer it was a struggle for my poor Granny who is sUCH a boss lady. She had 11 kids and is fighting fit, both physically & mentally.. watching him deteriorate whilst she remains so strong & present is probably the toughest part.


before we left for the hospital I began recording this months demo in my little makeshift mobile studio I set up yesterday in the attic.. but after the visit all I wanted to do was scribble down words about my grandad. I've got the other song as a backup, but if I can connect the dots I'd like to write a new one about him.. it feels only right now that he's taking up so much of my headspace. :)


Anyways, hope you guys are so well. If any of you have had experiences of dementia or something similar in friends or family members and have any experiences to share or advice to give, I'd really love to listen. Like many of these illnesses there's not much of a silver lining, but having been lucky in having all of my grandparents growing up I'm finding it a little hard!


all my love

OG


xxxxx

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Comments

Sonia O'Reilly

Glad you had a good time at home! You must miss it a lot when you're in London! Sorry about your granddad, your grandma seems like a strong women! It's a really hard situation. My granddad died when i was 16 but he was 92 years old, almost blind and deaf. His wife, my grandmother, died 2 months after I was born so he survived her for what must have been a little eternity. The last few years were hard, he wasn't diagnosed with anything, dementia or Alzheimer but he definitely wasn't himself and it was very painful to watch ;(

Gene Thorne

So sorry to hear about your grandfather. My mother also had dementia (from Alzheimer's in her case) and it was heartbreaking. The Long Goodbye as it's sometimes called. I'm afraid there's no happy ending but at least you can see him and I'm sure they are making him as comfortable as possible. Regarding your vacation I know you don't want to be more specific about where you're going (to avoid the thousands of fans and paparazzi that would be hounding you) but we're looking forward to hearing all about it when you get back. We want photos!

Robby

So sorry to here about your granddad. That's a tough one, I went through it with mine too, luckily it wasn't bad until his 90's. He was like my dad, I was raised by my grandparents, thank God for them or who knows where my brother and I would be ? My grandmother's mom was right off the boat from Ireland, never got to meet her though, but she had 9 kids, all girls, "The Sullivan Sisters". My brother and I were able to shake the accent growing up here in Boston, but listening to all of our great aunts was entertaining !! What is with Ireland, don't they import condoms !! They all have so many kids ! Good luck, enjoy your time at home. You should check out the song Silent House, written by Neil Finn and the Dixie Chicks. It's about Natalie Maines grandmother who had alzheimer's. They both sing a version of it. I love it, Neil Finn is wicked talented. ttys !!

Frances Wilde

Hey sending love. Are your fam off to the Aran islands again ? :D My Nana had dementia for a couple of years before she passed away and it was kinda heartbreaking and scary to see somebody forget who all of their family members are. I feel like, if you can't recognise the people you love the most, then are you even YOU any more? Anyway, sorry I don't have any words of wisdom or hope. Just empathy. <3

Judge

My Dubliner Grandad died before I was born. We thought there were no photos of him but my aunt recently found two and it was so great to see him looking happy and full of life! My grandparents only had 10 kids, so yours win there! Life is so full of good and bad things - dementia sucks, but he's still around and hopefully will be for a long time. I'm sure your mum is an angel!

Alex Dowse

I'm sorry your family has to deal with this horrible thing. He looks like a super sweet man. Your gran sounds a bit like mine, a super strong person, but 6 more kids than mine! I'm sure at least one of the other grandkids are as wonderful as a human being as you are, and will continue their legacy in the best way. I hope you have the best week away :)

Jessica Carroll

We've got a family friend struggling with dementia right now and it's heartbreaking, and my Nan who I live with and who raised me from birth was diagnosed with cancer last year, so while I've not had to deal with a grandparent dealing with the depths of dementia I definitely feel those feels. Your family sound wonderful, and I'm sending all the love - dole out plenty of hugs and enjoy the rest of your time at home! So so wonderful to see you on Thursday, the new tunes left that barbershop thoroughly shook. All the love x

Meera Carruthers

Sorry you're having to watch that all happen Orla :(. My grandpa is in a home in Malaysia with alzheimers at the moment, we wanted him to move over to europe with us permenatly but he didnt want to. I do remember very clearly in the early days when he was living with us and I was a moody 17 year old being told to watch him (and being too moody to do so) that I left him in the kitchen and took a shower. Came out and he'd put a plug in kettle onto the stove and the whole room was filled with plastic fumes and he refused to come outside, kept tryna get the melted plastic off.. safe to say I learnt my lesson. Have you ever listened to "I miss her" by jessie j (lol shameless music taste here). Meera x

Alex Esther

My dad had a cardiovascular stroke a year ago. He has memory loss. He has had a lot of therapy but his complex motor skills (like driving a vehicle) or number sequencing is probably gone for good. He can still take care of himself, mom takes care of him too. At first I thought it was dementia but that is a gradual slope of memory loss. Where as his stroke and possibly future "mini strokes" will be like stepping stairs. He's lived longer than any of the men he knew. He reads books, watches tv, flys a drone sometimes. Tinkers. Always starts projects that never get finished. I had my liver transplant in 2015 and he had his stroke in 2016. So it's been a rough few years. We're still kicking. I'm glad your grandad is still kicking too! Thanks for the song. Oh and I had to separate myself from wanting to help him all the time. It hurt emotionally a lot because I felt useless. It took a lot of getting angry, and upset away from him to accept his journey is going the way it is.

Orla Gartland
>>6272709

Aw man, so heartbreaking! Love to you. Age/time is a powerful thing. I love the phrase 'a little eternity' xxx

Orla Gartland
>>6272755

Aw so sorry to hear that Gene, sounds so tough. Ha, the holiday ambiguity it's definitely not a strategic move, it's just that most people on here don't care about Ireland as much as you do! I'm going to the Aran islands off the west coast of galway, think we chatted about it before but you gottttta come here one day, you would love x

Orla Gartland
>>6273002

Hahahaha that is so bloody true, my Mam is one of 11 kids, all of which have an average of 4/5 kids themselves! So it's a lot to take in. Can't believe there's a family of 9 all girls though, that's mental. Checking out those songs, thanks so much for sharing Robby, you're a legend x

Orla Gartland
>>6273176

YES! My fave islands in all the land. :) aw mama, thank you for the love and for sharing. Xx

Orla Gartland
>>6287328

Aw wow gal that must be so tricky with the distance, I hope he's alright! I guess when people get older they just want to be around the familiar sometimes. :( I haven't heard that song but just listened - I like! Jessie j is definitely an occasional guilty pleasure. She's meant to be a right diva nightmare as a person but I can't resist that VOICE X

Jim Eh

Dementia is a devastating disease. Going through it with my dad. He's currently in stage 5 and 6. He's been diagnosed with vascular dementia, which is sort of like ministrokes, as blood flow is slowly being cut off from parts of his brain. I've heard a lot of horror stories with other people, so glad that he still has a sense of humor and an upbeat personality compared to those stories. He likes to go on drives checking out the scenery and looking for wildlife....mostly deer and turkeys. I was doing a lot of the care myself, but have recently gotten help from some of my family. He's currently still living at home, and we're all dreading the day that his care will become too much and he'll need to go to a care facility. It's a tough journey watching someone who could literally do anything, to someone who asks for help turning on a washing machine or how to make his own coffee. I don't have a lot of good stories, but I can offer support/insight/perspective on what's going on.