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hi loves.

greetings from maine, united states of america. i don’t know what to say anymore, y’all. i wanted to take the week fully off from posting, but, here we go.

i toured for an entire year of my life - in 2019 and 2020 - to fight for abortion rights. your patronage funded that work.

my whole team worked to make sure we had abortion rights activists and planned parenthood at every show.

i talked about my three abortions over and over again on stage, ripping open the wounds every night, and felt punished by not only the left and the right, but even by the people close to me who were made too uncomfortable by what i was doing and saying.

i wrote “oasis”. i wrote “voicemail for jill”. i made videos. i interviewed people. i raised money. i gave money. i did interviews. i signed hundreds of petitions. i wrote the introduction for the “post-roe america” book by robin marty. i marched.

what else could have we done?

the saddest part of yesterday was my phone blowing up with sympathetic texts from my friends in new zealand and overseas.

america is an object of global pity right now. it’s scary, that feeling. the pity was already happening and now it’s quickly accelerating. the dread is spreading. what happens here happens elsewhere.

what an incredibly strange combination of emotions i am feeling right now.

still; i hope it’s a death rattle. underneath this ominous cloud, a sisterhood always rises. the era of frightened men will - must - someday come to a close.

maybe not in my lifetime.

but i will never stop fighting.

for all of the women on this earth who have to choke and suffer in the complex stranglehold of patriarchy, for the women who can’t escape the cage of inherited greed, fear, generational trauma and stuckness, i will never stop fighting. never. i understand too well how it feels, and i’ll use all the tools in my kit to try to create a future where we can all find some semblance of peace.

this is the battle of our lifetime. our civil rights battle, our vietnam, our suffrage.

if i have time this coming week i’ll write a longer piece here for the patreon, and maybe troy it out and try to get it published in the real world.


generally, what i’ve seen is that people don’t fully understand that abortion isn’t about “abortion”.

this isn’t just about the act of having and abortion, it isn’t about fetuses and babies. it is so much bigger. it’s about human rights. it’s about poverty, and equality.

it’s about the climate crisis.

it’s about women having a chance to control their dreams and destinies, instead of being told what to do by men.

don’t give up.

ever. keep fighting.

if you can, you must.

but god i am tired.

fuuuuuuuuuuck.



i love you. all of you.


more soon.


x

a


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Comments

Danielle Dunne

I think, if you have the means to do so, return to NZ and get you and Ash away from this bullshit. You can. I can't. I have no choice. I have 7 kids, 3 girls and 4 boys that are looking at me to fix it. So, I have to fix it. But, if anyone here has the means to get the hell out of the US, please fucking leave. It is no longer safe here.

Pedro B. Gorman

You’re the most wondrous of Warrior Queens, but it really makes me mad to live in a world where you OR any of the billions of women have to BE Warrior Queens for something so intrinsic to human decency. Sometimes, I’m truly embarassed for my gender. And hey, I’m not even American, I can’t even imagine what it feels like on that note…but I hurt with you all, Sisters! My love to ALL women for the right to exist comfortably in their own skin, with full agency. Love, always, strength and resilience, Pedro

Alexis Mai

You bring the hugs, I’ll bring the coffee, and we can lean on each other as we keep going.

Deena

If you're in Portland, I'd buy you a bagel/coffee/infused lemonade idk what you like but I love ya. Voicemail for Jill brought me to my knees crying the first time I heard it. I knew where it was headed immediately and I felt seen in a way I never expected to. I fucking love you.

RC

Greetings from Chicago, homie!

SField

Just despicable. I can't believe it. I just keep wondering which country is next.

Jen

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Chloe

You are right that this isn't about abortion. If this was about life being sacred and protecting lives, America wouldn't be letting its kids keep getting shot with guns when they go to school. How is it that a cluster of dividing cells holds an apparent ultimate right to life and yet the existing kids risk guns being pulled on them? What about the existing kids in poverty? New Zealand is far from perfect but women do have more rights than guns here.

Len Tower Jr.

I urge each of you to stay & fight for the USA you want. But will respect you & whatever decision you make. -Len

Danielle Dunne

I don't have a choice about that, Len. We've been fighting for years for the USA we want and clearly it's not working. So, sure I'm staying and fighting but I have no hope that it's actually going to mean anything.

Laura Wellner

I should feel outraged, but I'm strangely quiet inside, too stunned. I should be shocked, but I'm not surprised at all that they went ahead and did this in spite of the negative impact taking away the right to an abortion will have on the female population. They claim it was a "badly written law." Fix it, don't destroy it. There is a way to do things, then there's a way to do things...this was brutal. Brutal on purpose. It's so fucked up, it's unreal. We'll get through this. Change will come. It will take time. Love you, Amanda. Love to all of you.

Len Tower Jr.

a, these songs of yours will inspire the fight for woman rights for a long time. i expect they & their effect will outlive you. a sad day. that I've been concerned about since the late '70s. love, len

Valerie Jaruzel

The Sisyphean task of keeping America’s political agendas fair and caring and reasonable for the people in which they are intended to serve - it’s so much. Sooo sooo much. Thank you for being a strong voice in a very sensitive sphere of it. I fantasize about learning and training a group of renegade midwives to provide woman’s healthcare outside of traditional offices. After this rawness settles, I’m hoping to see a more actionable way to fight the good fight.

Lou McField

I am terrified and even more worryingly, not surprised. My thoughts go to all women in the US and the trans men community who need acces to proper healthcare. Because abortion rights is access to care and safety. Our bodies are ours. Abortion rights are basic human rights. I am so tired of old cis white men deciding what we should do or not do with our bodies. Amanda you are right, it is not just foetuses and babies, it is about so much more. Dropping the trans subject with it because in my eyes it is the same. Cis men telling me I should not get an abortion, not have my top surgery, not get my hysterectomy, them deciding, judging on my behalf. We are not objects to posess. We are human beings. Love you Amanda xx

Nick Dawes

It is the saddest of days and makes me want to scream. It frustrates the hell out of me that these people don't understand the principle of unintended consequences. As for religion, the source of so much misery, abuse, oppression, murder and coercion...and generally perpetrated by men. Keep doing what you're doing, one message at a time, one share at a time. We love you for standing up.

MrsLilisha

I'm so sorry for my american sisters. And I am full of rage. I think we need to unite more than ever.

Lia

I'm in Brazil and I feel your sadness. It was just last week when the media noticed the story of a 11yo girl who got pregnant (by another kid) and, having the right of an abortion (Brazilian law allows abortions in case of rape), couldn't have it until about 7 months pregnant. I can't describe my feelings reading the words of the judge (a woman!) who, instead of helping the kid, did pretty much everything to persuade the girl to have a baby. Not even in my worse dystopian nightmares. I wanted to puke. I felt anger. Abortion is about power over women, but we can't be controlled by men, by religion, by no one. This sisterhood you wrote about? We're here, we're everywhere, we're in it together - raising feminist kids, voting, being vocal about our own abortions. Let's not give up. Sending love from Brazil.

EmVT

thank you thank you THANK YOU Amanda and team, for creating an internet space away from the surveillance fucking capitalism machine, where we can discuss, organize, and heal 🧡 in doing this, you have already pre-emptively done so much to subvert this global fucking shit show. well done, mad respect, you are several years ahead of your time. what a precious refuge you have created. 🙏 I love this: "underneath this ominous cloud, a sisterhood always rises. the era of frightened men will - must - someday come to a close." After your recovery year(s), maybe another TED talk? to those living in fear, take these hugs with you ((())), and know justice will prevail, we are ready to fight, to love, to breathe, and to heal, together

Jake Marcus

A few days ago, in anticipation of yesterday, I was invited to an “intergenerational” meeting on abortion, four of us - a 70+ year old cis woman who had had an abortion before Roe, a 34 year old non-binary person who had a legal abortion, a 38 year old trans man who had had an abortion while in an abusive marriage to a man, and me. Without realizing, I was wearing an AFP t-shirt. It was Zoom so they didn’t know but I started talking about you in the context of telling one’s own story without shame and the 34 year old said “Amanda Palmer did this amazing tour a few years ago” and we squealed that we had both been at the same show (Philly). I am not going to march. I am not plotting more litigation. I am offering rides to New Jersey where abortion is protected without Roe. Most people in Pennsylvania don’t have access to abortion. They didn’t last week and they won’t next week. I am not mourning Roe. Most people who want abortions in the US don’t have access to one for reasons unrelated to Roe. That is the boots-on-the-ground reality. A friend said “I know your right but it is the message it [overruling Roe] sends.” Well if the message it sends is that reproductive healthcare is unavailable in the United States, people need to hear it. It is true and it has been true. So let’s stop expecting protection. Let’s stop asking permission. Let’s TAKE IT.

EmVT

this truly defies understanding, the only thing that explains it is ignorance, those on SCOTUS unable to fathom situations beyond their own with any real depth--a fatal lack of empathy, and also a failure of basic research. every abortion is a unique situation. no one wants to go through that. fatal as usual for those with less means and power. what they are doing is sickening.

Ria

I don’t just feel sorry for the us I feel sorry and scared and enraged for all of us. I’m in Germany where they still make you jump through hoops to have an abortion. It’s still illegal here. And there’s no real end in sight. Since yesterday doctors allowed to inform about abortions on their website. Even that had been illegal. Next up are the right to contraception and lgbtq rights. Everywhere. And it makes me so furious.

Ria

And let’s not forget the fall of the Miranda warning yesterday. The people under attack are those that may not have all the ne essay resources and information / education.

Stephie

so much love for this words, thank you, a. i'm a swiss girl. you all may think "switzerland, where the world is ok and all are very fine." unfortunately switzerland is a land ruled of old white cis-men. in 1944 my grandma from my fathers side died because of an illegal abortion. in 1974 my 18 years old mum had to marry my dad because she was pregnant with me. btw she needed the signature of her parents to do that. in 1975, she was 19 when i was born. with 21 the second child. around 2000 my best friend had an abortion while studying. she and her boy separated and and a few weeks later she realized her pregnancy. he was in his next relationship, she was all alone and without job etc. she decided to have an abortion. around 2010 another friend decided to have an abortion because she and her ex-husband never wanted to have a child. four different heartbreaking stories. for all these women their decision have / had consequences for their whole live. i wished i had the occasion to know my grandma. i wished my mum had the occasion to decide against me - if she wanted to - because i think, children shouldn't have children, and my mum was a child again, even if she was 18 then. i love my mum, but the beginning and also later, our live together, was awful. what happens now is not about abortion and fetus, it is about humans who should have all equal rights - the right to free decisions about how to live their lives. love and hugs to a. and all of you.

Vanessa McKittrick

Amanda, I love you very much, and I see you, and I am here in the trenches with you until my last fucking breath. If we can we must. ❤️

Amber Dawn

The patriarchy declared war. We will fight because we must, so much is at stake. Love and empowerment to all. ❤️

Janet in Georgia

I have started typing and deleted several things in response to this. I just don’t have the right words. It’s sad that after everything this country has been though and all that’s happened, that in fucking 2022 abortion is STILL an issue. Why do people think they can choose for someone else. Why do they WANT to choose for someone else. Why can’t a woman decide for herself if she wants to have a child or not. I will never understand.

Taylor DeLeon

We love you too, Amanda, our warrior. You are right about this not just being about abortion. It isn’t about destroying lives, it’s about saving them. Women’s lives are at stake. I’m sick with worry and I want to scream. All I can do is find other like minded women in this little country town of mine and just scream with them. We plan to, we are angry. A lot of people won’t listen but they are gonna fucking hear us.

Courtney

I don’t know what to do or say right now but I am, as always, thankful for your voice and your love, Amanda. And I am thankful for this community.

Len Tower Jr.

For many of the six, its driven by religious belief, which would trump (pun not intended) this knowledge.

Len Tower Jr.

Re: "creating an internet space away from the surveillance fucking capitalism machine". Never assume this a 100%. Computer security is never perfect & is constantly under attack.

EmVT

true enough Len. as a professor of mine once pointed out, there is no arguing with religious dogma, almost by definition. I think that's why I practice buddhism even though my family background is judeo-christian, I can trust a religion that says 'don't believe what I say, find the truth for yourself'.

Damian Masterson

So, two weeks ago my wife and I lost lost our daughter in the 25th week of her pregnancy. That was and remains incredibly hard, but not nearly as hard as the pregnancy we had to terminate at 23 weeks back in 2017, which would be illegal in parts of America now. In 2017, during our anatomy scan, we learned that our daughter had severe heart and brain abnormalities. We initially made arrangements travel to Boston to deliver at a hospital where they could attempt corrective surgery, but the prognosis worsened and we canceled those plans. We made the incredibly hard decision to terminate that pregnancy. In parts of America now, we wouldn’t get to make that call anymore. We would instead have had to carry our daughter to term, and wait for her to die on her own. If, like our most recent loss, that pregnancy failed to come to term on its own, there are places in America where we might now have to prove our loss had happened on its own in order to avoid prosecution. The particularities of my family’s case aside, it is staggering how indifferent this decision is to the lives of Americans, and to the autonomy people ought to have to make decisions about their bodies and families.

Sam Allen

Nadia Bolz-Weber called the feeling of fear+rage (where she - and I - are right now) Frage last night. That's all I have.

DebbieG

Welcome back to the US, Amanda. Sadly this is what we have become since you left. Guns have rights but women do not. Hoping that this will spur people to the polls for their local elections as well as just the ones for Federal offices. It's one way things can change. Because I don't know any other way to change it. Hugs and love to everyone here.

Hayley Rosenblum

This is about me and it is about you. It is about then and it is about us. The text I sent Amanda as soon as I got the news alert. “Today stings. Sending love, because it’s all we have, and thinking of the thousands and thousands of weeping, laughing, cheering people who we met each and every night you toured TWBNI, because they are real people with real lives that I carry with me on days like today. Fuck.”

Allison B

U n be liev able ! ! Stay strong Don’t give up Get 100% of women voting - outvote the bastards

Carl Setzer

I hope this serves as a huge wake up call that rights must be fought for, vigilance must be maintained. Complacency allowed this to haapen.

Jessica Jerome

I heard the ruling and my heart cried out for you. Your music soothed my aching soul. Voices like yours amplify those of woman like me. I too have had three abortions in a traumatic abusive relationship that I would be tied to by parenthood and traumatized children had I not had my freedom to choose. This is surreal. 💔 our voice only get louder from here. This will not stand.

Aqualynne Carnahan

"Why the fuck do some women think that this is okay???" I am done being a little angry and a lot sad. Now I am just angry. Angry at the 20 year old girl who thought voting was dumb. Angry at the woman who used to keep photos of Guilliani and Cosby at her desk, who voted R because that was her husband's team. I am angry at my mother who got upset with me because I didn't "fix a plate" for my husband. Women have been entirely too passive or intentionally naive for too long. We will not change the minds of the men who want us subjugate. But we can reach out to our sisters. We need to explain to them how this does and will affect them and those they love. We need to overwhelm them with our anger, our concern and our thoughtful arguments. Historically, this has never really been done. Fires started here and there. Small and large progresses, but no follow-through. We do not protect our own. But imagine what we could achieve if we did? We need our Amanda Palmers who are out there fighting to move forward and protect what we have. And we need to emulate them. From our desks and our phones. While visiting our neighbors and our friends. Reminding our female family members that regardless of what they believe, they have also lost a battle. And if you aren't able to confront this ugliness yourself, find ways to support those that do. The country is burning down around us. It's past time to get to work. Apathy is no longer an option.

Ruth Anne Arnold

It's such a strange thing when you're already mired in grief. My father died a few weeks ago, and it's been a horrifying mess to deal with (even with all the support around me from loved ones)... and then yesterday, as I tried to do my job, I see this alert pop up and it's like someone ripped out the floor from under me. It's so strange to cry for something so HUGE, but yet so intimate and personal. This loss is different... a sort of ripped away innocence, probably akin to when we first learn the world around us is dangerous and full of unstable characters. I'm immensely grateful for having had access without any challenges beyond the wait, all those years ago. So happy that I do not have a 20 year old child who might have been a woman and had to deal with the way the world treats us, again and again, just for having some different parts (that none of us asked for). But mourning for all the lives that will be destroyed because of this heartless decision to "save" only face.

Amanda Denery

I am Jill’s raging bile duct. I’m so beyond sad, I want to burn it all the fuck down (figuratively of course). I’ve voted. I’ve marched. I’ve donated. I’ve advocated. What else can I do?

Shannon Daniel

In Ohio, before yesterday,you had to have an appointment then come back for a second in order to ha an abortion. My daughter is 23. When we went this Wednesday, we drove for 3.5 hours to get her to a clinic. She had her 1st appointment. She's scheduled to go this Wednesday for the pills. Ohio issued an injunction, after 6 weeks no abortion. We have no idea if the clinic will still be allowed to see her Wednesday. We've already scheduled an appointment 2 states away now as a backup. I have 2 daughters both of child bearing years. I am terrified for them. I am terrified for my friends and fellow women everywhere. I'm all out of spoons. Spoons, love, positive thoughts, send them my way and more importantly my Zoë's way!

Sara Nelson

I lost my religious freedom yesterday. As a Jew, we believe life begins and ends with breath. The well being and mental/physical health of the woman is prioritized over the rights of the fetus. I am scared they will come for my birth control pills next. "Justice" Thomas basically said that is coming next. I don't want to live in this nation anymore. This is counter to everything I believe. I had to have birth control pills for my infertility treatments. This puts those treatments in jeopardy. This is insanity.

Robert Hays

There's only one thing to do - vote. Push candidates to add to the Supreme Court. Push for legislative changes. Vote in state and local elections - 11 states have protected the right of a woman to choose, vote to add your state to the list. This is the only way to change things besides staging a coup like the GOP did on Jan 6 (more like a putsch to me...). And I think that Justice Thomas should bring up interracial marriage as a 'right' not mentioned in the Constitution - he's clearly a jerk and only in this for himself and his spouse. I'm done ranting... Thanks for listening.

Coila

Roe completely overshadowed this in my news circles. This is horrifying, too, but I don't want to be ignorant of it. Thank you

Kimberly P. Coburn

All I can say is that eventually these old white men have to die. There will be a new generation of voters and politicians that we have already started voting in. These changes will take time. The pendulum will swing back. That is all I can think about. That time will eventually come back around to our side.

Jayme

I see it as a time for legislation and take the decision out of the court. Voting matters!

Tessara Anchales

These actions condoned by SCOTUS are the opposite of freedom. I’m so tired of the Puritans in our country. Stop forcing your beliefs on me. You do you! And let me do me. Sigh.

Joni

I love you and the way you speak for us all. From this side of the border (🇨🇦), it's hard not to see the ways this decision is making the anti-choice league more emboldened. They're already talking about following the lead here... And at the same time, my heart is breaking for my American sisters. For now, I know I have a spare room in Toronto for anyone who needs access. I'll be talking to our local groups and hopefully we can connect with our US counterparts. I don't know how yet, but I do know I will be IN this fight. I will not allow preceding generations of women have less right than I do. That is not something I can live with.

Ria

I am hoping all goes well for your daughter. Thank you for supporting her in this difficult situation. I don’t even want to think of the girls that have to manage this alone, in times like these. All the best ❤️

Hina Hanta

You're right, this isn't over. We can't do anything about the Supreme Court, those fascists are in for life. But we can work from the ground up to get basic human rights codified at the state level. Republicans have been working for years to dominate state level politics because they depend on the "leave it to the states" line to justify their discrimination and injustice. We can win local elections. City councils, mayors, state legislatures, governors. Undo the damage they've done, fix the gerrymandering and protect the citizens' rights. It's the only path forward now

Nicole

⬆️ This! I’m sick of reading that “oh people have to go out and vote Democrats federally. No. They have the house, senate, presidency and they are doing jack shit. The battle is at the local and state level. Organize. Sit in at representatives offices (at all levels of government). It all starts at the bottom.

Teresa Toro

I am struggling to find the words if only for myself. Amanda, you're so right about abortion not just being a health issue: it's about economic justice, about our environmental future. It's about public health and mental health: my stomach bottoms out when I think what it will do to a person's psyche to be forced to bring an embryo to term. What are the implications for a person already struggling to make rent, working to chart their future in this economy? How about a trans man coping with all the physical, psychological, financial, and social trauma potentially related to transition, who might find themselves the victim of sexual assault and impregnated? It isn't only "women" who need abortion access; I don't want anyone to feel forgotten. Do those anti-abortionists even give a shit for rape and incest victims (I can't yet call them survivors in this phase) who now carry not just the emotional but physical burden and scars of their experience? Where should they apply for support and aid? The patriarchy knows no bounds and no shame and it's time to do more than march. What that is, I don't know. This is where I am – completely hollowed out inside and waiting for my energy and resolve to return. They will, but not yet. (Apologies for the rant. I don't even think I make any sense today.)

lil

I was too sad to reach out to you yesterday - too gutted for all that you and so many of us have done, to ensure this basic human right is available to all women and people with uteri. Ka whawhai tonu mātou - we must continue to fight. Fight on forever.

Angel Rosen

Thank you for sharing, Damian, and I'm sorry for your unimaginable loss. ❤️ sending you warmth

Angel Rosen

Yes I work for a lawyer & he explained all of that to me and honestly I don't even know what to think about it!

Jozias

Many are so damned religious and they are socially so much behind. So many hypocrites among them. They are not ashamed to talk mean about you when you don't follow their principles. Let be when you step in their way. They are glued in their positions. I know you propagate a more understanding attitude towards them to get them thinking things over. That might work for some you can reach, but the system is against you to get this to the majority. Hope is no way to go, hope is for the gods among us with eternal life. It's a lost case. Just take the fact there are red states and blue states. How on earth... There is just no room for nuance. The way abortion is handled is a result of that. There is no room for the vulnerable. All vulnerable are without resistance. They will be ruled by all those legal dictators you all ask for by this system. The winner gets it all. You sold your voice to the red, no? Then you must have sold it to the blue. How can you ever have an open discussion when you start from either of those backgrounds. You're right it's not just about abortion, it is about all the other things too, patriarchies, gun control, job control, discrimination, woman's rights, the two party system. So for the moment your negotiators are the powers that resist change. Ultimately we know they are from the right and they are either rich or friends of the rich they meet in their red states, red houses, red facilities, red theaters, red job contracts and red party support. Very often just not at free will. If you don't break up this system you will never do away with polarized solutions hurting one or the other.

Rebecca Weger

Amanda and others, I offer a gentle reminder that when we talk about abortion as being about "women," we aren't including our non-binary, genderqueer and transmen who can also get pregnant. I'm committed to solidarity with marginalized folks, and making conscious choices about language is part of that work for me. This morning, I finally joined the National Network of Abortion Funds, a BIPOC led organization, as an individual member. These are folks who are getting resources to folks who need abortions, including transportation and a place to stay. You can anchor your membership to a certain location based fund if you wish. This is mutual aid in action. If you're willing to go even further, check out more subversive spaces like https://shoutyourabortion.com/ The government doesn't own us. We need to do the work to change the government. But even more importantly, we can directly support people in getting what they need.

Jozias

And it's not that one or the other exists as a human being. People are fake in this system. You will turn any of your originally multi colored soul to red or blue.

Sally

I was so stunned, angry and fearful for America yesterday as I sat in my home in Australia, what this might mean for other hard won rights too. If my Facebook feed is any indication, the world isn't just looking on in pity, or holding you in our thoughts - we're mobilising too. Already marches have been organised here. Love to you all.

Michael Sardior

It's always been about human rights and the empires that steal them.

EmVT

good reminder, I definitely forgot about including everyone, thanks for saying something.

Hina Hanta

And vote in primaries. If Democrats don't do their jobs, get an actual progressive candidate to run in their place

Lesley S

Thank you for sharing; may you find healing as time goes on... And your story and your wife's story is yet another reminder of the harm these malicious, willfully ignorant rulings cause. I see you. I am holding you both in my thoughts. Please DM if I can send anything your way (order a meal, contribute to something you need).

Marg

Every time I start to talk about this, I start off angry and dissolve in to speechless sobbing. I never had an abortion. That information is not one whit relevant to the conversation or the depth of my grieving because the issue isn’t really about abortion. It’s about human rights and human life and how the potential for human life is prioritized over the actual humans just trying to live their lives as they see fit. The Supreme Court struck the death knell of its own legitimacy this term with its decisions on guns and criminal guilt and abortion. The internal inconsistencies of the reasoning used to justify the Conservatives' foregone conclusions are appalling and spits in the eye of American jurisprudence and our legal precedents. More importantly, by the very act of picking and choosing the lives that they will see protected and the lives that they will not protect, belies the notion that any of this was ever about sanctity, or human life, or the' rights of states. I warned my husband that it was going to be a bad couple days around here when the decision came down. But I apparently failed to mention that fact to my sons. The two boys who were at our house (sons 1 and 3) when I walked out of the bedroom Friday morning looked on in horror as my very messy emotions began to spill out all over me, them, and every surface in between us. My husband, however, merely walked out of his home office with arms opened wide. And as I walked into his arms, he told me he had already heard the news and then just held me as I sobbed. His abject acceptance of my feelings in that moment said so much more to me than any words and also helped restore a sense of calm to our somewhat panicked boys. Because while I often get riled up (rant) about politics, I rarely cry about anything and the boys did not know what to do with my upset. They are both “fixers” who give advice when faced with anger and have been known to advise me that I might be happier if I just ignored politics altogether. (To be fair, 4 years of me during the Trump presidency was a lot to handle for everybody in my orbit 🤷🏼‍♀️). As my oldest (29) was leaving that morning, he told me nothing was worth losing my mind or sense or calm over. Me: Oh, honey. This is not me losing my mind. This is me so damn angry I don’t know what to do with it and it is seeping out as tears. But be assured, I am not overwhelmed. I'm pissed. And as soon as I have taken the time to grieve what Republicans have done to my personhood and our laws, I will be ready to fight back. (He is engaged to a young woman who supported Trump expressly because he would appoint justices willing to overturn Roe and I was letting him know this weekend would be too soon to expect politeness from me.). The youngest (24) still lives at home and has been hugging me whenever he walks by,. He also offered to go to a rally with me (mostly as muscle and protection, lol, but also because if it’s important to me he will support it). He also keeps talking about the probable inevitability of civil war, which is not really all that helpful. lol. Our middle son (27) just moved to Arizona for work and he and I are pretty much soul mates on several levels. He called me Friday night to commiserate over the shit show that is America right now and then basically told me to take the weekend to mourn then get my head back in the game. - I am a woman in Texas with both, a law degree and a Masters in Health Law and Policy, and my voice is needed. So, I may be a woman in America with a government trying to make me a second class citizen again. But in the last 50yrs we we have been raising the boys who are now the men in our lives and they have our back. Most have never lived in a world where we were not in charge of our personal choices. And when we say we won't go back, these young men we've raised are right there at our back - each expressing support in their own way and refusing to accept a world where their moms and sisters, aunts and cousins, genderqueer, non-binary, and trans friends and family don’t have the freedom to choose what they will do with their bodies. Is it more complicated than that? Yes. Is this an oversimplification? Yes. Does it bring me comfort in my grief and hope, if not for my generation, for the next? Also yes. You are loved, Amanda, as is every one in our little community. Take care of yourself now and when you are ready, join back in the fight in whatever way feels safe for and to you. ❤️❤️❤️

Kirrabelle Lovell

Thanks for writing Amanda ❤️ Take time to rest. We’ll all still be hear later 🙂

James Cowie

What can I say, the rest of the world is gasping in disbelief, how can this have happened, what is wrong with a society that can allow this to happen ? My first reaction is to tell/ask you to run away go back to NZ or come to Australia. But then I think no this is your home you must stand and fight. So roll back the clock and fight for a woman's rights that is so obvious, whats next will they roll back the clock a little further back and the US will re-introduce segregation ?

Rose Cooper

Amy’s not a man. The 53% of voters who voted for Trump - in both elections, were not men. From what I can glean from trusted influencers in the BIPOC communities - the machine in place here is less about “old men controlling women’s bodies” & more about white supremacy. Ireland repealed the 8th with an overwhelming majority. It’s popular opinion that the majority of Americans want health care for women. But the pro forced birth brigade seem to be as powerful & persuasive as the NRA. Your citizens need to rise up & demand it be put to popular vote. The wheels of justice turn too slowly in the USA. And people grew complacent. It’s too easy to point fingers at the figureheads. Some kind of massive, peaceful, collective action that inarguably reflects the majority, will have any hope. The world is watching

sarah482

Marg - sending a hug if you're open to accepting it. I hear you - i said essentially the same thing yesterday - that i was too angry to cry. I'm glad that your husband and boys are so supportive. it must be hard to be in Texas right now. A while ago i took part in a postcard campaign to the CEOs of the top 200 companies headquartered in Texas asking them to publicly support women and oppose SB8. It felt pointless on one hand, but on the other i hoped that maybe a few of them - especially the companies headed by women - would be influenced by a flood of postcards. idk anyhow, your message resonated and i just wanted to say i see you. ~ sarah

sarah482

Joni - hi, sending loads of love. Honestly, the thing that scares me the most for Canada - especially for Ontario - is the fact that the conservative party has joined up with Roger Stone. Having worked in politics for (too) many years i've unfortunately seen Roger and his proteges up close. I worked on a bi-partisan task force with his protege Michael Caputo (who was the Dept of Health and Human Services' spokesperson for trump who directed the DHHS lies about covid) He is evil incarnate. Whatever you can do to help raise awareness about him, his dirty tactics, and his new association with the Conservative party to stop him from doing in Ontario/Canada what he has done here will go a long way. love you ~ sarah

sarah482

Teresa - sending love. You made total sense, but i hear you about being hollowed out - i am so full of rage that i can't even cry. ~ sarah xoxo

sarah482

Shannon - i'm so sorry to hear your and your daughter's story. I mainly wanted to say that NYS still has access. You note that you made an appointment 2 states away - depending on where in Ohio you are NY might be a closer option. Hoping that Zoe is able to have her appointment on wednesday. Sending hugs to you both if you are open to receiving them. ~ sarah

sarah482

Damian - sending so much love to you and your wife and kids. ~ sarah

sarah482

Len - i was thinking exactly the same thing. terrifying. ~ sarah

sarah482

Hi Jake! Good on you for helping with rides. I don't know about NJ but NYS has doubled down on protecting choice and access. When i worked in politics i worked with the Gov when she was a local politician and then in Congress. When the memo leaked she allocated $35M for enhancing access. She's also issued an executive order that we will not assist another state in prosecuting someone for coming here or helping someone come here to get an abortion. So, depending on what happens with NJ know that you can drive people here without worry of putting yourself in jeopardy. ~ sarah xoxo

EmVT

Len, also, for the record, I was more referring to the fact that so far nobody has shown me unsolicited dick pics on here (which has happened to me recently on twitter) and less that I would feel safe typing my credit card number into a post. it’s not hermetically sealed, but definitely quieter, was my point.

Lynn Robinson

More hugs coming your way from England 🤗xxxx

Jake Marcus

@sarah482 morning darling! NY has always been my touchstone for abortion protections but when I was researching safe states (which obviously is a moving target), I was pleased to see how strong the protections are in NJ. I will be watching this. There are a small bundle of safe states in the northeast, a small bundle on the West Coast, and Illinois. That leaves of course all the vast states in between. Much help is needs NOW to transport people to clinics in safe states. It also means we need more clinics close to borders. And it means funds are needed.

Sarah Budello

I am not your vessel Not your field to reap and sow To be filled with expectations and Ideals I am not your vessel to be sated and emptied at your will To be told when and how to fulfil Earths dreams of life I am not your vessel I am the creator of the future A full being and Being both whole and broken It my power to produce or be still I am not your vessel It is my blood, my veins, my heart That builds I am the sunlight and the forest I choose the trees and what becomes soil To nurture the whole beautiful system I am not your vessel Not a resource to be managed I am the garden and the loving gardener Choosing, tenderly, bloom by bloom Take away my tools And watch as the gardener falls to her knees As the garden grows too big, too wild Only to be deserted I am not your vessel

Teresa Toro

You phrased the need for inclusivity better than I did earlier, thank you. It may seem "easier" to fight for women's abortion rights but where has that gotten this movement? To where we stand right now. People, all people, have a need and right for reproductive justice and that must be an intersectional conversation and effort. The language must change. And it will be hard: the DNC cringes when they have to say the "a" word which says a lot about just how hard they've really been "fighting." As usual it's people of color and the queer community (not mutually exclusive, lol) who have been, and will be, on the front lines. That's where I am throwing my financial support.

Teresa Toro

Thank you for sharing this personal and painful story. It's a reminder that there are many cases where the decision to terminate a pregnancy is as often about the fetus as it is about the parent. This ruling displays compassion for anyone.

Margaret Schindler

Hi, Germany here. Strangely, my country took a step towards better reproductive rights at the very same time as your country stepped away from them. Here it was professional medical advice surrounding abortions that had been labelled "advertising abortions" and therefore outlawed – this has now been corrected. From here, it looks like religious nutters are taking the US back to the 1950s. How are guns more important than women's rights? How are people "pro-life" but against universal health care for that same life? Hang in there and fight, everybody. We are on your side. ❤️

Neo

This feels all so wrong. Don't know how much more soulcrushing news I can take. Found it in me to record "Sing" from the Dolls...was really hard, especially the part with "sing for the president, sing for the terrorists"..but also kind of cathartic. Can recommend...kept me going and was a step away from all the numbness and paralyzing...grief..fear..anger...

Rain Day

As a boy I'm weary of this fight, but it seems like common sense and a settles matter. Scary stuff. Following yer lead lady love, in this and most yhings.

mary b merryman

Dammit, your post is powerful. Loved it! Yes, most people in the world pity us right now. In America, guns have more civil rights than women, more civil rights than children at school. I know you i wanted to “come home” to New

mary b merryman

York and the states, you missed your friends and family. Well we’re in this mess together. It was gay pride day here in San Francisco, I didn’t participate because it was no longer the Statement it was. But, coming back to my neighborhood, I saw a new generation of beautiful young people of all colors and genders which give me HOPE. I wore my “I Had anAbortion” tee shirt,which prompted great conversations with total strangers. That gives me hope, too. Ordinary people can do extraordinary things

Joni

Love right back my dear Sarah!! Oh yeah, we've got our eyes solidly on both Ford and Stone. Our premiere (Ford) is absolutely bucking to be Trump light... and sadly, it's working for him. He was just reelected with a majourity, and is quietly working on privatization deals around healthcare, eldercare, social services and utlities... He's seriously dangerious, and even more so because it's not as obvious... There is no doubt in my mind that the Ontario Cons will work to reverse the Morgentaller decision (our Roe case), but the difference is that our president is based on a case against a practioner, rather than a patient, which makes it harder to use the same arguements. So that's something at least (just another gift from the late-great Dr. Henry, RIP).

Laura Payne

I hear you. I see you. I love you. Keep being you: telling your truth. It gives us more strength than you can imagine. XOX ❤️❤️

Anna McCotter

In shock (not very shocked) and just plain scared, and SO VERY SAD. I went to a protest in south carolina, and 95% of what i saw where inraged, angry college kids, ready to set the state on fire. and all I could think about was your tour. Surrounded by so much rage, and pent up aggression coming from this little army, broke my heart. i wish they could have gotten a glimpse of TWBNI, maybe they could see past the rage. Maybe they would join the grief party inside my head. I just stood there and cried. feeling guilty and grateful for you and your tour. There was a young girI there dressed from A Handmaids Tale, losing her voice to "my body my choice" cars passing Would honk with approval and support... and for some reason my mind flipped that statement, what everyone should be screaming at passing cars is "my body your choice" ... maybe If we protested with what is, rather than what should be, the traffic would just stop. instead of the virtual high fives and best wishes, there would be a hug or a hand or a tissue. Empathy instead of sympathy. Its easier to fight to keep what you already have, but fighting for what you dont have Is seemingly impossible. For right now, it's my body your choice, and vice-versa. until we can all hear how ridiculously frightening that sounds. Not just in theory. not anything. not anymore. On the otherhand, I am so so glad that you are here. Things are very hard for me right now, I made a mess of my life with this DWI , i just pray i don't lose the first chance at an opening to see you, because of this financial blackhole that i created. I LOVE YOU so very much. and we will fix all this shit. it's just a ride. ❤️

Catherine Westbrook

I just wanted to say thank you. You do/have done a lot to help advocate and we are blessed to have a woman like you at a time like this. I’ve never had an abortion, but I still wept at the overturning. I’ve known many women that I love dearly tell me about their abortions and it breaks my heart that women can no longer choose what is right for them. It’s a travesty. I find myself crying still when I consider the future. What does this mean for my daughter, I certainly want her to have this option. What about all the girls who have spent hours at my house for sleep overs, game nights, you name it. I love them all, too. I don’t understand our country anymore, our world really, but I do know we did the best we could and we can’t view this as abject failure, we’ve lost a battle, an important battle, but there is a “war” ( for lack of a better word) on the horizon in regards to basic human rights and equality. It’s time to prep for what’s brewing if we have any chance of setting things right. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, it’s heartbreaking, you might want to give up, please don’t. Sisters, brothers, we must stand in solidarity and support one another with love and encouragement. I know we can win the long game, we are stronger than they know. I love you guys.