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Hello loves

Greetings from Auckland. I’ve missed it here. I really have.

This is me, earlier today, at the Auckland Art Gallery Toi o Tāmaki, in front of Diego’s painting of Cristina Kahlo, Frida’s sister, who he fucked.

We all love this story, don’t we.

A self-obsessed philandering artist betrays his artist wife by fucking everything that moves, including her younger sister.

Ouch!!

Frida has a bunch of miscarriages. She loses a foot. Her life is already a bitch. She’s pissed about him fucking her sister. So she divorces him.

But then…well, it’s complicated. She’s sick, dying, in love, in need. She fucks some other people and then she remarries him. Why not? Then she dies. Then he dies.

Right before covid hit, I got to see the Frida exhibit at the V&A in London, while I was on the tour that involved ripping my heart out every night and telling thousands of people about my abortions, my miscarriage, my experiences with sexual assault and compassion.

Frida did it.

Frida got it.

Art through the pain or die.

Draw your agony or get drawn and quartered yourself. Let men squirm uncomfortably as they try, relentlessly, to shame you for sharing the truth. Enjoy yourself before your short time on earth is over. Find love wherever.

So many women I know - especially ones I’ve met lately, perhaps it’s the laws of attraction - have had to stand gracefully in the fire and ice of horrific betrayal. What they choose to do, some of these women, is awe-inspiring.

Some Collapse, some go Full Frida.

Frida reminds us.

Give it back, this pain, do not let it eat you alive. YOU, you have to eat the pain. With whipped cream. With a cigarette. With a lover. Decorate and salt as needed.


Eat the pain and send it back into the universe as love, as art, as poetry.

I love looking at men looking at Frida.



She stares back, even though she’s dead.

A hard stare.

She says: Fuck all of your ideas about me.

She says: my husband fucked my little sister and I dealt with it and just did what I needed to do.

She says: my paintings are so powerful they have been made into shower curtains where people sit in their fucking bathrooms and stare at the majesty of my art.




She says:

Whatever, dude.

I have survived.

x

Afp




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Comments

D

You know Frida would've hated the commodification of her image, hated so much about the way people have profited off of her pain. But I do see a commonality between your art and hers, and it's nice to read someone who seems to get that rawness without turning it into iconography.

Jenny

Ooof. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

Suzanne

That is the single best explanation of Frida's life I have ever read. Thank you. You summed up the unspoken parts beautifully, and I have a newfound respect for her.

Rusty Bias

Definitely a good hard stare.

Korinna Marks

I know right!!!! That explanation is what my soul always knew looking at her art and studying her life as an artist but that has never been stated so succinctly. ♥️

Nicole Roth

I have loved, admired, and fallen into Frida so many times I've lost count. This is exceptional.

Stellar

We were just talking about her the other day. Specifically, what she wrote in her diary a few days before she died: "I hope the exit is joyful - and I hope never to return." Thanks for the reminder to add the cigarette and whipped cream.

Francine Hibiscus

Totally a role model. That V&A exhibit was incredible, such an intimate view into her life. Her work in person is intense, so personal and often on such a small scale!

Marley Kendrick

I highly recommend the Artholes podcast series on Frida. It's a journey! Frida means so much to me since I was introduced to her around half my lifetime ago. I can't imagine my life without her Art, I don't feel like she's a person who isn't alive as I feel like she's a force that's with me. Having spent the last year sick and in bed most of the time, I do not know how she managed to sit up enough to paint or found the strength to and I try to find even a fraction of that strength when I'm struggling. I have a coffee mug with her image and the quote " At the end of the day we all can endure much more than we think we can" 💜

Jessica Demcsak

Yes! Viva la Frida! 💪🏻 Thank you for so eloquently saying all the things that need to be said.

Rhianna Helton

These last few posts are making me very excited for a new book!!!! You’re on a goddamn roll🤩

Veronica Frances Minjarez

Thanks for sharing. As a Latina that grew up in East Los Angeles; I learned so much about Frida Kahlo but didn't retain much of it since it was mostly taught at a very early age. This was a good post and reminded me to brush up on the knowledge of my own culture lol!

Rebecca S

Yes, all of this. If you haven't read "The Egg Pyramid" by Nuala Ni Chonchuir, about Frida and Cristina and Diego, I highly highly recommend. Taught to my high school seniors in English class for the last decade. It's a 500 word flash fiction that is breathless and wonderful. Online here: https://drb.ie/articles/flash-fiction/

Paula Nicholson-McKay

I've never before felt the calling of Frida. Many around me have, but she never particularly spoke to me before. Today she did, through you. Thank you 😘 x

Niki McQueen

Ouch. I feel this hard...thank you for sharing her story, I heard heavily sanitised parts of it at school but I never realized it was so close to my own. It's staggering how much damage a sadistic narcissist can wreak on a life, in a few practiced moves, no closure (never closure), no looking back. I think pain is a double-edged sword sometimes. Right now it's the only thing keeping me going, and I'm channeling the fuck out of it. But I know it's too comfortable. I've been living in pain and fear for too long, and if I stay much longer I will never leave. I wish I had been there at New Year's and screamed the scream with you. What a scream it must have been. Just one more week, and it will be time for me to scream that scream, put down the fear and search for the way home.

Amanda Eckert

Frida said “I paint flowers so they will not die,” and I think you make music so that you never will. And I love that, and I love you.

Doug Ryan

Amanda….you have so many great posts and little gems of stories that I haven’t been able to say I love them on all of them. But I do love all of them.You’re an incredible artist and storyteller. Even little tiny stories like this one. The amount of depth of story and layers of the human experience that you can fit into a such a small number of words is so inspiring. Love this. Love you. I Hope everyone is going well and finding health and happiness and meaning so far in 2023. Wishing you all all the best things.

Karina

There is a Frida exhibit on at Barangaroo for Sydney Festival right now, just saying…. It’s like a 2 hour flight right? I would love an AFP 😉

Coriander Wolfgang Rainbeaux

As a transman (or genderqueer, non-binary, whatever) I'm still trying to figure out if I can participate in the majesty of feminine witness within myself. Nevertheless, this broke me open. The golden kintsugi patches in my soul-womb are awake now. I needed permission from the universe via Frida via Amanda to break open, permission to still love while holding that brokenness. I've reconciled that my love as it was is gone, and will never return. And yet, it still exists. Ready for the next messy saga in the faerie codex of my heart, rewiring vessels, reversing physics, alchemizing into Love in its purest, rawest, most beautiful monstrous form. Holding steady as a lion holds a lamb.

Doug Sinclair

We saw that exhibit at the gallery this morning as well. Must have just missed you by minutes.

Stephanie Thomas

Frida rocks! Heading to Auckland to see this exhibition with my daughter who is over from Europe, it will be good to see this together.

Breanne Garman

After following you for well over a year now on social media, this is the post that made me a paid follower. I’m not sure why, but it feels right.

Janie

I've seen a bunch of Frida exhibits and this one was my favorite! The timeline wall was such an awesome perspective. And the rooms with Diego's work, too -- they were each complicated people and therefore a very complicated couple and also fiercely supportive of one another and this exhibit felt like it honored all of that.

Nicholas

Never have liked the paintings, but Frida sure was a wondrous human being and deserves all the damn attention and accolades for the way she lived her life, against all the odds.

Kari Cureton

Her art is so beautiful with all its pain. Without it would she have ever painted? It’s hard to be thankful for the awful experiences, but they help sculpt her and our art. Need to remember that when I’m in the depths of hell. 😵‍💫😬

Carmen McFarlin

you always make me laugh and cry at the same time: "She says: my paintings are so powerful they have been made into shower curtains where people sit in their fucking bathrooms and stare at the majesty of my art."

Phoenix M.T. Noah

i have nothing pertinent to say. well written amanda. i'm too broken right now to add anything on topic.

Phoenix M.T. Noah

the fact the illusion of separation of all of us from one another IS an illusion, the fact you exist as fully human, with every principle active and alive within you means that yes, you can, love. Also your comment is Yes.

Lisa Reza

Brava part deux Amanda! Whether it be masterfully tucking a tattoo, linked to a killer video, whose lyric is witnessed in an Instazine, which follows an Art Begetting Art piercing portrait or going full-frontal Frida, be doubly assured that “someone else [does] know.” For all our fellow Frida’s: Did you think I wouldn’t walk Into the pyre Of my loss? Burning, Churning, Yet emerging, Dripping dross.

Coila

I love this. Thank you! ♥️

Brook Tayla

I just fucking wholly love you Amanda Palmer I love this post so much I am going to mark it so that I can read it over, and over, and over again Thank the Universe for Frida Thank the Universe for YOU Sending a squeezy hug to you

Janine Eden

Something that makes me uncomfortable with the art I love is that the women who created it have been through so much shit. Can we have the magnificent art without women going through shit? By consuming and adoring the art do we become complicit once remove in the shit they go through? And don't get me started on "muses".

Kirsty Dight

Beautiful writing, I bloody love you and Frida.

Lauren Carnall

I know little of frida, so this was interesting to learn. I knew she had a tough life but I did not know why. Some exploring of frida and her work clearly to be done.

Joanna Lindblad

Some people just can’t see… what’s right in front of them :( Sometimes i think it's sad that creating art comes from such pain. But pain is a part of life, so I am also grateful for it, for release, for connection even in the darkest of times <3

Diane Anthony

This. And you. Thank you, Amanda. What we lay bare can be the cloak of comfort for someone somewhere. Frida did it. You do it. And my soul is grateful. Sending you bouquets of love, dear one. 🙏🏼❤️

Larissa Rook

So much love for Frida. She continutes to inspire me. She was a major influence on how I approaced my music and art after I was diagnosed with cancer. i admit, i came to the Frida party late. but when i was recovering my my first madtectomy, after chemo and radiation, i saw the film “Frida”. i realized i could celebrate my surgeries, my scars could be adornments, and i just felt a shift. like she was my patron saint of pain and convalescing. i had been hiding the fact that i had a mastectomy. but after discovering Frida’s art, I no longer felt shame. i felt like celebrating. i wrote my song “lucky” and made a frida inspired painting to accompany it. ❤️🩻💀🌸🌻

Rachael Padilla

Thank you for this. It resonates with me in ways that I do not know how to express right now. I love it and love you.

Catherine

OMG! “Eat the pain and send it back into the universe as love, as art, as poetry. “ Is this your words or Frida’s? Maybe the most powerful sentence I’ve ever read. Also the one before it. You are so awesome Amanda!! Thank you. ♥️

Jennifer Neal

I have Frida hanging in my house, 4 x over, on the largest wall I have, right at the front door to greet everyone so as you walk in...BAM. Please know that in this house we love with abandon and do not apologize because mistakes are great and only make us stronger art saves us in whatever ways we choose to express it. ART SAVES US. xo

Sara Nelson

After battling infertility for years I completely feel Frida's work on a very deep level. Her work doesn't talk to me it screams and I scream with it. I'm so thankful for her voice.

Sofia Lopes

"Eat the pain and send it back into the universe as love, as art, as poetry" This. I feel like I've been living by this motto most of my life, but I've had to fully incorporate it into myself these past few years. It's gut-wrenchingly hard at times, but it's one of the few things keeping me sane.

YourMagnet_adult_version

Oh yes, this is such a touching and impressive story of the artist Frida. I feel sorry for her, and I'm also happy for her. She is a great woman who endured a lot of suffering, but lived a worthy life.

Sahrami

Eating my pain. Sounds so simple and helpful instead of burying it. I'm trying not to smoke but pain with a cigarette sounds good, maybe i have to switch menthols into mental cigarettes.

Mikhailo Rodentskyy

“Art through the pain or die.” Thank you and Frida for your art and inspiration.

VitAnyaNaked

<p style="color: #008600;">Thanks for this posting. The story is incredible. She is a very strong and intelligent woman and I love all her work....</p>

Mel Legget

Woah. exhale. deep. yes. praise. namaste' xx

Tiffany Harju

Frida Totally got it and I have gone full Frida. Sometimes it's necessary to take that pain and transform it into something magical.

James Cowie

I think I saw the same touring Frida exhibition when it got to NGV last year (2022) Her work is something no photograph/image ever quite captures. Just a week ago,after I performed one of her poems to a packed pub I was telling someone who knew her artwork but nothing about poetry, writing or her life and politics afterwards about the sister fucking ... and making comparisons with figures from pornhub and sister/brother fucking from Nordic myth

Laura Morland

P.S. I used to be quite steeped in Nordic mythology -- please remind me, which are the incestuous gods?

James Cowie

I've edited to make it clearer I wasn't talking about fucking your brother or your sister but their husband or wife or as in Frida's case her husband fucking her sister ...etc

James Cowie

If you live in Melbourne Australia you can be "Poetic Licence" every second Wednesday.

And Steiner

Although this entry was short Amanda I found it powerful. These things you wrote had particular impact on me: "Art through pain or die..." To me this is a competent reminder of what I can choose to do with my pain or what it can choose to do to me. Art; FUCKING ART. "Draw your agony or get drawn and quartered yourself." Rip that fucking bandaid OFF gurl!!! "Let men squirm uncomfortably as they try relentlessly to Shame you for sharing your truth." This is so pertinent to what I'm going through. My, male, doctor, has restricted my access to life-sustaining medication unless I obey him. I have some allies showing up in my team meeting next week and some choice questions to ask. Squirming expected. Squirming welcomed. Squirming EARNED! "Full Frida". Um YES! Can I add a teensy weensy word; FUCKING. "FULL FUCKING FRIDA!" "Hate."

Kimberly Bradshaw

Favorite Frida quote: “I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim…”

Michelle Lopez

Hello! First time ever commenting on this dear Patreon space. Thanks for creating this Amanda. Won't take it for granted. Trying to be - truly be , a participant and not a spectator. - in beautiful communities. Thank Goddess for the internet! This post brought me this sweet sentiment about the whole life journey. It's Synchronistic or coincidence that I'm wearing her image on this bright red poncho my mama gifted me . Last year was the first time I've ever moved out of home, lived with a partner, been pregnant and then the first time I terminated a pregnancy as well. It's odd because we just keep on moving forward with our wounds unless we consciously decide to heal. Voicemail for Jill and your Couch interviews have been a source of strength too Amanda. We - Perhaps I , too- need to share our wounded stories . I know it's a wound because i'm crying as I type. Full Frida is a blessing. Her story gives many of us courage and she knows her power. This is how I want to be about my story. This is how I want to show up for my art and my life. Thanks again for sharing! Thanks for bringing us awe.

BandXMedia

Awe inspiring. Sometimes we need these references for perspective.

The Wondersmith

"art through pain or die" hit me somewhere deep. I get it. Thank you for this.

ML Doherty

I love Frida and I love this post!