Patreon Exclusive: Feet Pics (Patreon)

The day you've all been waiting for has finally arrived. It's time for Patreon Feet Pics. Or, Feet Scans, I guess, would be more accurate.

One of the weird things about working from home is that you find yourself wearing shoes way less often than you used to. While this sounds like a blessing, my feet were sort of a painful mess through much of 2021. Eventually things settled and, I don't know, my feet are fine. This is already more background information than I planned to put into this, a very dumb joke.

Anyway, when it came time to go to Disneyland last week, I realized that my occasional shoes lifestyle had left me with two pairs of shoes in rotation. One is a ratty pair of Adidas NMDs that I love, but they have holes in the toes and they're totally falling apart. I don't think Adidas really makes the meshy, stretchy NMDs anymore, so I'm kinda wearing these until they disintegrate. The other pair is a pair of New Balance that were built for "outdoorsy" kind of use, like hiking. These are the shoes I wore to Disneyland the last time we went and my feet died. With both options feeling bad, I decided it was time to hastily investigate new shoes. My wife, who could probably just jump off the couch and run a half-marathon at any given point, had just gone to a fancy shoe store to get fancy running shoes for her fancy runnings, so I went over there.

They scanned my feet! The above video is me rotating around the scans. The red parts are the bad parts, I guess, I don't know. Long story short, they told me I should really be wearing size 14 shoes instead of 13s. Also, naturally, they were out of stock on shoes of that size. I ended up wearing the NMDs to Disneyland and they were fine, but now that I've had a fancy machine tell me about my feet, I kinda want to go back and buy "proper" shoes once they restock. I don't know. Honestly, I should've just written FEET PICS on this and not given any explanation, but here we are. As a bonus, here's a picture of me (bracing) and my daughter (a maniac) on the log ride. This is the part where they automatically take a photo because you're screaming down a huge drop into a bunch of water below. The guy in front of us was livestreaming to tiktok through the whole ride and trying to play it very cool for his audience.

I suspect the feet pics video will eventually become some kind of livestream background, I don't know. I'm overdue for some kind of visual refresh on all that.