Shooting with (Patreon)

Lolita

I finally made it back home to Cabo, and the joy is unreal.

I can finally cook in my kitchen again, where I know exactly where every bowl, cup and tiny useless-but-essential thing lives. I can sleep in my own bed, stretch in the morning, and make my little tea ceremony with the ocean in front of me. Pure heaven.

I think I’ve officially reached my travel saturation point. As much as I adore seeing my friends, my loved ones and my family… I realized I might be a bit too old for these extremely long, extremely chaotic, extremely frequent trips.

Rome - Tuscany - Bellagio - Dolomites - Milan - Barcelona - Paris - Mexico City… all in one month. One month of emotions, reunions, planes, hotels, tiny meltdowns, beautiful moments, and the kind of exhaustion that sits deep in your bones by the end.

I came back tired, but inspired - with a few new shoots, and a few new realizations I’ll share in the next posts. Thank you for being here with me.

A bit about this shoot.

These frames are from early summer, taken in a studio in Warsaw. It was a full-on coven))) Three women - photographers and at the same time models - Lolita, Lina Tsapova and me, gathered in one room with almost no clothes and an excessive amount of film stock. Класика жанру.

I don’t know how it always happens, but with these two I always end up in images that are way more sexualized than what I normally shoot for myself. And yet - somehow - I always feel completely at home with them. Safe, relaxed, playful, alive.

You already know I’ve been trying for a long time to explore my sexual side in images - mine and other women’s. But I still don’t feel fully satisfied with the results when I’m the photographer or when I’m shooting myself. Something is missing - or maybe something is hidden.

But when another woman photographs me, I become someone else entirely. I don’t know what changes - maybe it’s the observer effect, maybe it’s some form of performative electricity that only appears in front of others. I can’t explain it. But I do feel there’s something powerful there. Something I want to dive into deeper, more boldly, more stubbornly. There’s so much untapped energy in that space.