My muse (Patreon)

Esmeralda

This was my first photoshoot in Mexico with another model I found through Instagram. She barely speaks English, so we agreed that she would bring her boyfriend with her to help us communicate)))

But honestly, this post is not even about that.

I just wanted to share something interesting I started noticing lately. And I don’t think I’m the only photographer who feels this way.

It seems like models from different countries, cultures and parts of the world carry completely different energies in front of the camera. And one thing that really surprised me about Mexico is how many models here are also dancers. Or actresses and models. Or dancers, actresses and models all at once)))

And when you photograph dancers - no matter what kind of shoot it is, portrait, nude, fashion, anything - you immediately feel this dance energy inside them. It feels like they are constantly moving internally. Like they are performing even in complete stillness. Almost as if the camera itself becomes a stage. And for a long time I couldn’t fully understand what exactly I was reacting to in that feeling.

Years ago in Ukraine I photographed one of my friends who teaches dance, and I remember being fascinated by the experience. But back then I had nothing to compare it to. Now, after several shoots here in Mexico, I finally understand. Dancers experience the camera differently. Their body is already a language. Even when they are doing absolutely nothing intentionally, there is still a feeling that they are “showing” something. And it’s honestly beautiful. But at the same time, I realized something important about myself as a photographer.

I think there’s one very specific feeling I’m constantly missing in my shoots with other people. The feeling of my own absence. I don’t really know how to explain it correctly. I want to photograph someone as if they were completely alone in the room. As if I wasn’t there at all. As if they weren’t trying to look beautiful, interesting or “correct”. Not performing. Not showing me anything. Not playing a role. Just existing. And I think this is exactly why I’m so rarely fully satisfied with my shoots involving other people.

I always feel like something is missing.

And after these shoots in Mexico, I finally realized what that something is. I miss the feeling of absolute solitude inside the frame. That state I’ve only really been able to capture in self-portraits so far.

And now I have a new question for myself as a photographer:

How do you create the feeling that a person is completely alone… when there are already two people in the room?