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Page 1293 (NSFW) (Patreon)

Published:
2026-10-23 03:01:15
Imported:
2026-10
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We beat Crisis Core! It was... all right. 6/10. I feel like there's some good ideas in there but a botched execution and waaaay too much padding squeezed in-between canon FFVII events. I feel like the finale could have been really great and there's elements I do really, REALLY like about it! But it's all so, SO overwrought. I'm okay with it being different than FFVII's original version, god knows I'm the world's biggest Remakes defender at this point, it's just... man, there's something to be said about the original's quick, brutal, harrowing end of a character compared to a version that just... won't die, and spends so long dying that he has time to tell another important character just everything that character will do in the game's sequel. I like you as a character, but please die quicker!

We also managed to squeeze in a rewatch of Advent Children! It holds up surprisingly better than I expected! Maybe the most enjoyable thing to come out of the compilation project. The story sucks, the voice acting is stiff as hell, dilly dally, shilly shally, BUT it's got some stupidly fun fight scenes and a killer soundtrack that still holds up. We watched the Complete edition which added some more stuff (including that same character from before who takes way too long to die!) and some of it fucks with the movie's pacing a good bit (Reno/Rude crash their helicopter in the middle of this chase, then reappear soon after miles in front of the people they were chasing after), but man... MAN. Even if you know it's gonna happen, Sephiroth's appearance still hits hard. Great movie. Even better Smash Ultimate trailer.

It also included Episode Denzel, a short animated OVA about the baby kid who features prominently in Advent Children. It's okay. Johnny's in it. Reeve is too but Reeve kind of sucks in everything until the Remakes. It's fine. Maybe eventually I'll read all the short stories too, just be a full FFVII completionist. But not today!

That's it for now, though! Thank you so much for your support, and see you on Monday!

Files

Comments

Dyscomancer

Hey, congrats! I am super mixed on Crisis Core. On one hand, fun ideas, obvious part of the story to expand upon, cool design decisions even if they didn't always work out, lots of good stuff. Unfortunately it also has Genesis Rhapsodos who is a solid contender for my least favorite fictional character of all time. Angeal isn't far behind him either. Plus it's one of those bits of FF7 media (as far as I remember, it's been a bit, but it would have been one of these given the time period) that gives Aerith a quiet, shy personality like she was portrayed in Kingdom Hearts 2, completely out of character. None of her usual sunny attitude or genuine mischief. I love when they let Aerith be a bit of a gremlin and Aerith of the 2000s did not get that opportunity very much at all.

Brad and Leslie Brown

God, I think the biggest reason I'm so ride or die for the Remakes is exactly because it nails the characterization of the main cast (and several side characters) SO much better than basically any piece of FFVII media to ever exist, including FFVII itself sometimes.

Dyscomancer

Exactly!!! When stuff portrays Tifa as the brash tomgirl type and Aerith as a quiet and gentle angel I want to SCREEEEEAMMMMM Lord knows I have some issues with the remake's overall narrative here and there but by and large it's an absolute pleasure in terms of character depiction. The remake did so much for several important characters; particularly Barret (no longer relegated to mostly being comic relief - gets to own some of the most tense and emotional moments in the story) and Rufus (now is a genuine threat but also has a fun and cute personality quirk of being visibly competitive and playful, which just elevates his presence so much. I truly believe his boss fight in the first remake game is the current pinnacle moment of them so far).

Aeryn Light

Gosh, she's not even keeping her clothes nearby just in case! Really putting herself out there.

Justin Wood

You expect me to believe that you, Brad Brown, known Shinra Middle Manager stan, are ride or die for the remakes? Preposterous.

Justin Wood

I don't know why but something about Dakota with his hand out and wearing the strap is quite funny. "May I take your panties, Ma'am?"

Michael Butchin

Our Lizzie has a done a lot of growing, lately.... 🥰

Frenche93

Your updates have proven to be something for me to look forward to, especially while navigating this heavy transition right now in my own life.

Quadrant

Your description of death there reminds me of Yoda's death in RotJ 😂 I'm gonna die but not before I give a massive info dump Crisis Core for me was more the mechanics. I'm funny on action RPGs. How the game executes it really factors into my enjoyment. For example, started playing Xenoblade Chronicles, and I'm not sold on the characters auto-attack except for special moves. I'd just prefer to button mash and attack button there. As for the Remakes. I do really like them. That said, they can feel a bit grindy at times in battles. But the characterisation is so much more in depth. Spoilers obviously but Aerith's flashback scene hits bloody hard. But.... Aerith's death just feels botched to me. Like they're going in a different direction and I'm fine with that, but it took the emotion out. TBF tho when you know it's coming it hits you less 😂 Advent Children was weird. Not in a bad weird. But you can tell it's Japanese written. In the sense of the storyline. The dialogue is a bit stilted, voice acting can be hit and miss. But then I expect that from that era of games and game spinoffs anyway. Worth watching at least once tho. Would still like it if they gave Dirge a proper remake in a way that enhances the story and fixes the gripes people had with gameplay. I would also like if Before Crisis got a proper port from being some Japanese-only mobile game.

Quadrant

I got so wrapped up in talking about your FF experiences, I forgot to comment on the page. Nice to see Lizzie growing in body confidence. Dakota is only good encouragement here. But I hope everyone has spare clothes or someone who can collect everything with how much is just left strewn around in pure hedonism 😂

Procrastinator King

Lizzy's panties, which she left on the floor will be a major plotline in Avengers: Doomsday