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Taylor Made - Chapter 7 (Patreon)

Published:
2025-07-13 05:34:31
Edited:
2025-07-25 07:04:34
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Taylor's first day of MIT classes doesn't go quite as planned, but sometimes the best lessons happen outside the lecture hall.

Thank you for your patience, everyone! An extra thousand words and an extra image, too. It was a lot of fun writing Taylor discovering that being "ordinary" might actually be the most extraordinary thing that's ever happened to him. Also, he's slowly realizing that maybe the scariest part of this whole charade isn't getting caught but how good it feels to finally belong somewhere. 🥺

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Comments

Jade Diaz

I love that Taylor is learning that she deserves some attention and respect from people, and that she is finding out friends are a super power. Stabbed me right in the feels with the line about how no one seems to check on boys who are alone and struggling.

Crewchick

SO FREAKING AMAZING!!! Thank you so much! Each episode only gets better and better. And Star Trek too!!! 🖖. Absolutely well worth the wait!!! Your story, your narration, your dialogue are so real and on point. We are not just reading Taylor, we are feeling him in every sentence. The loneliness, the awkwardness, and the fact you had Will a presumptively straight male share this with Taylor was brilliant. Those feeling are not just felt by women of the LGTBQ community. Those are human emotions felt by everyone. Even those we perceive or assume are entitled and privileged. In fact some of the most insecure people in high school are the bullies. And the cafeteria scene was brilliant. Deep and emotional but also fun. I could not help but smile seeing Taylor come into his own following Will’s advice of being “present not perfect”.

Jerome B

Wow, I actually got a bit choked up there! Some of this resonated with my childhood, so not that surprising. How do you keep doing this Emory? You are an absolute creative genius!

Maggie Heels

Hell yeah... I see Taylor speaking directly into SKYNET's face... "you're just a fuckin' stupid calculator, nothing more... eat this < click-clack >" reloading her mosberg and pointing the barrel into some fancy looking artificial network server...

Gemma

Great chapter. Not only the images but also the interesting and intelligent narratives, insights and conversations. All of these refective insights and wisdom contained within the developing themes of gender and sexual confusion, ambiguity and Taylor’s journey towards self acceptance. I haven’t even commented on the great and rich character development that within itself is so engaging and hooks us, your readers in even further.

Kris Greg

WORTH THE WAIT I vaguely remember having anxiety like that when I transferred out of of community college to a 4-year university. I eventually snapped & started answering when I realized that the people shouting out answers were wrong more often than not. I often knew the correct answer when others were just shouting whatever popped into their heads. It was liberating!

Samantha Louise

The chapter was more than worth the wait. Taylor’s terror in the classroom, about suddenly feeling like the one thing they had going for them, their intelligence, that it wasn’t enough that they didn’t belong I so get that. I actually flunked out my first semester of college, all my life I coasted by being smart and could get away doing things last minute. At college I got behind, my depression (and background dysphoria) got worse and I just fell apart, if I didn’t have my intelligence what was I? Nothing, so I stopped going. Eventually everything worked out for the best, got my bachelor’s but I’m glad Taylor had someone notice and give them a pep talk before they had an experience like mine. Their thoughts on if they were a guy would anyone care? Welcome to sexism babe, you get a first hand look now. And right now you’re enjoying the perks of how society treats women but I worry when the bad parts show up. So glad they pushed themselves, went to that dinner and talked and shared. That story about the aftermath of their father’s death, it definitely felt like that had been stuck inside them for a long time, was probably very healing to get it all out. In love with the story and will devour more as soon as it’s ready. I’ll just sit here wiggling in excitement like an eager puppY for it.

Garlic Witch

i'll always be around for nice boots

Erica Rost

I didn't think a guy would flirt... with Taylor!

Crewchick

Maggie, hell yeah, you go girl!!! Get some!

Crystal Peaches

such an important episode. So sweet to see Taylor begin discover that of they let go of the fear and just be it can be so much more than has been, a the stirrings of a possible romance?? `cant wait til the next episode

Goman

You mean I have to wait two weeks for the next part?!?

Ryan

Simply Lovely 💗

Robertlouis

Another day excellent chapter, Emory. I’m really enjoying the slow burn on Taylor’s transition. In so many stories it’s all so swift and therefore hardly credible, but here his background and emotional hesitancy makes the situation all the more real. Even the whirlwind that is Abigail has only stirred the embers so far, and he still thinks of his female presentation as being a short term facade with a life span of a single semester. And he aims to keep it that way, although encounters such as the one with Will and the girl at the cafe knock his balance and his certainties at least temporarily. Yes, it’s very well paced, and the illustrations are terrific - I particularly like the boots! It all means that there’s plenty more to come, and personally I can’t get enough of this tale!

Tato

Wow this is so well written. Damn you Emory, you made me tear up a couple times 🥲

Claire

I've already read this 3 times and I've choked up multiple times with each read. So many good moments... and building to something wonderful. I loved the discussion of AI and art. It made me wish I was at that table, building a life that is uniquely mine. These chapters can't come fast enough. Emory, how did you get so wise? 💕

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you so much, Jade. 💕 Taylor's whole life, he's been operating under this unspoken (and sometimes spoken) rule that his value is in his brain and his pain is his own problem to solve. He's supposed to be tough and self-reliant, which is really just code for 'suffer in silence.' Now, he's suddenly in this new 'role,' and the social script is completely different. People are kind. They're protective. They see him as someone worth checking on. It's everything he's ever wanted, but it's also a mindfuck because he's only getting it through deception. I've definitely felt a version of that in my own life, that whiplash of being treated so differently once people perceive you as a woman. It's like you're suddenly allowed to have feelings in a way that was off-limits before. Of course, there are big drawbacks, too... which is probably coming for poor Taylor, as well!

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you so much, Diana! I'm so happy you're connecting with the story and with Taylor's journey. And yes, a little Star Trek is always a good (great?) thing, hehe. 🖖 I'm glad you like Will. I do, too! His kindness is coming from a place of genuine experience, although of course it looks completely different on the surface. I guess I often find myself reflecting on the boxes we get shoved into. Take Taylor, for instance... his situation is so complex and (moreso previously) quite painful. Then there's Will, who’s stuck in this classic "jock" box. It’s got its own set of rules about how he’s supposed to act and feel. He’s not really allowed to show vulnerability or think too deeply. It’s interesting how they both share that sense of being initially misunderstood by everyone around them. I have to say, that cafeteria scene was definitely one of my favorites to write. It's only then that Taylor finally takes a breath. He’s not just acting like a “girl” or trying to be a “genius.” Instead, he’s blending all the different parts of who he is... the physics, the heartache from losing his dad, the pop culture references… it all spills out. And his (hopefully) new friends don’t even blink. Honestly, it really hits home for me, too. I can relate to that feeling of finally finding your tribe. 💕

Emory Ahlberg

Oh, wow, thank you, Jerome! I think a lot of us who felt like outsiders as kids learned to build little fortresses for ourselves. For me, it was books and writing. For Taylor, it's physics. It's a safe, logical world with rules that make sense and he can retreat there when the social world feels chaotic and cruel. Honestly, I spent so many years of my own life feeling like I was playing a part, just trying to get the performance right so no one would look too closely. It's an incredibly lonely way to live. 💕

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you, Gemma! I think his whole story for Taylor is wrapped up the confusion that although he's living this lie, it's (slowly) allowing him to be more honest than he's ever been. Being "Taylor the Girl" is giving him a sort freedom he didn't have previously.

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you, Kris! That feeling is so real... I had it, too. I'm so happy you found that moment of liberation! I think for Taylor, that's still a little ways off because his impostor syndrome is running on two tracks: Not only is he afraid he's not the smartest person in the room anymore but he's also terrified of being discovered as a "fraud" LITERALLY. Every time he opens his mouth, he not only needs the right answer but he's also running a constant, exhausting check on his voice, his mannerisms, his whole being. I feel like that extra layer of performance anxiety is paralyzing. Being wrong about physics is one thing, but being "wrong" about his gender in front of all these people feels like a life-or-death stake to him right now. He's so used to being the observer, and now he's the one being observed, and he's just not equipped for it yet. 😬

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you so much, Samantha! 💕 Yeah, that feeling is something I definitely felt, too. I'm so sorry you went through that, but also so glad you came out the other side. For Taylor, that's the core of their terror in that first class. Their entire identity, the one thing they could cling to when their body betrayed them (that is how they still think about it...) was their intelligence. It was their armor. And to suddenly be in a place where that armor might not be strong enough is really destabilizing. And, yeah, right now Taylor has experienced the "upside" of sexism. Right now, people are more emotionally available, more protective, more inclined to be kind to a "girl" who seems vulnerable. Maybe a big part of their education at MIT is going to be learning that the same system that holds doors open will also try to put them in a box! The other shoe will definitely drop. The ending is maybe the beginning of Taylor realizing that connection might be more valuable than just being the smartest person in the room. 😉

Emory Ahlberg

Hehe... Maybe he was just being nice, Erica! 💕

Jade Diaz

Many of us understand how much more difficult it is to be taken seriously or a subject matter expert as a woman. No doubt it’s going to seriously frustrate Taylor. Also, just looking ahead, I can’t easily picture a scenario where Taylor goes home from this experience is like, right then, back to being a boy!

Crewchick

Re your comment to Jerome about playing a part and to me about finding your Tribe in college. I can relate. I was not ostracized and bulled in high school, to some degree the opposite. I was kind of like "Zelig" the Woody Allen character in the eponymous movie of the same title. I was the "nice kid". I was the smart kid, but not in the extreme Poindexter or nerd/geek extremism where I was caught up in my own little world and oblivious to everything around me. The irony being my grades, due to some learning disabilities, some not noticed until college and even as late as law school, were impacting my grades with poor test performance. So I could comprehend, process and apply what I was learning in a practical way and turn around and engage in class with great confidence in what I was saying, and yet pull Bs and C's on tests. Now clearly my grades weren't awful, I got into college and eventually law school without any special consideration for my disability but not my first choices. My grades were not reflecting my actual potential and capabilities. But the other students were not seeing my grades only what they saw in class. So some called my "Doctor" or "Professor" but not in a mocking way. The names actually came from a HS History teacher who was a former college football player and a bit of a bully in the classroom and I corrected him a couple of times in class. He would puff up his chest and respond back condescendingly and I refused to back down because I knew I was right. In one exchange he retorted with "what are you some kind of doctor or professor", and after that when called on would call Dr, O'Neil or Professor O'Neil. He was clearly mocking me, but from most of the other students it became a nickname that was endearing. Even today some former classmates I don't see or talk to often will still call me that. But that did create an imposter syndrome because my grades were not supportive of the perception of the other students. I was also just the "nice" and "polite" student. And the one class other than history and social studies, where I was pulling straight As was Religion Class (13 years of Catholic School). So I was never bullied or ostracized, but I was also never part of any one particular group. I fit in enough to be tolerated by all the different factions without being a target, but also never a part of any. I am sure there were kids who made fun of me behind my back but none ever to my face and as best I know never in public. The other thing I kind of call that me is the "Mockingbird" from Harper Lee's book and movie "To Kill A Mockingbird". I kind of felt like a sort of Boo Radley. I was harmless and well intended so I tended to be left alone. That is why I refer to myself then as "Zelig". In the HS world of "popular kids", "jocks", "brainiacs", "geeks", "nerds", "motor heads", "punks", "metal heads and head banger", even the "potheads" (I have never used an elicit drug in my life, even today), I could float in and around all those groups noticed somewhat because I was clearly not one of them but yet also relatively invisible. I was probably living what Taylor would have desired that ability to be invisible and not a target. And yet like Taylor it was very isolating and lonely. I was "friends" with everyone and yet had no "FRIENDS" in any deep or real sense. I was tribeless until I got to college. The crew team, ROTC, and even Student Government became my tribes. But by senior year even much of that changed. I had friends and an identity, but few of those friends had deep roots. So by law school I was reinventing myself yet again, but still in the same basic mold of "the nice kid", "the smart kid" the passionate (in terms of causes) kid". Still kind of a Boo Radley. And again a bit of an imposter because my classroom performance and my test performance were so dramatically different. I was smart in college. But everyone is smart in law school, that is entry level. You have to work twice as hard in law school just to be slightly above average. With my learning disabilities I had to work three times as hard just to barely be average. So it killed most social life, but felt like a scarlet letter of shame that had to be hidden. Finally getting diagnosed with OCD and ADD (nothing like being hyper focused and super unfocused all at the same time 😂) along with a couple of other learning related things was liberating in a way because I could finally name what I was dealing with and do so with slightly less shame, though still much fear of stigma. It also allowed me special accommodations on testing which had a dramatic impact on grades, but not enough to salvage my GPA for anything like law review. But more than enough to graduate and pass the bar on the first try. I wonder at times what impact knowing this back in high school and college might have had on my life. But then I always remind myself we are the sum of all our experiences, good and bad. I would not be "me" if I could go back and carve out all the hardships and adversities I had on my life. "Adversity builds character" always sounded like what you say to some one going through a hard time just to make them feel better. Like "yeah man, that really sucks, but hey at least you will have great character after this." But it is true even if it is not consoling. As Lord Moran noted, how we perform under adversity tell us and the word far more about who we are inside than how we act when everything goes our way. Adversity in and of itself does not make us better or give us good character. It is simply the test and the crucible that boils down all the other "stuff" in and about us to get at who we are at our core. It is still up to us to make the right choices and decisions and to find the strength when we feel we have none left. Not everyone comes out of adversity a better person. Some may appear to sail through it, but what may is learned is that what is that at their core is very dark and heavy lead and not gold.

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you so much, Crystal! I think for Taylor, "letting go" is the scariest thing in the world. His entire life after his dad died has been about control. He built this fortress around himself. Now, people like Abigail are just bulldozing through the walls...and now his huge performance is what's finally letting him be a little more real. 😊

Emory Ahlberg

Thank you, Robert! 😊 Taylor is treating this whole thing like an experiment with a control group (his old life) and a new variable ("being a girl"). He's convinced he can just end the experiment after the semester and analyze the data. He's not there yet, not by a long shot, but the seeds are being planted every time someone is kind to him in a way no one ever was before. It's so confusing for him because his brain immediately categorizes it as "they're being nice to the girl, not to me." It reinforces the value of the disguise but is also making him feel like more of a fraud. I imagine it's a really painful paradox. And I'm so happy you liked the boots! They really can change everything lol.

Emory Ahlberg

Aw, thank you so much, Tato! 🫂 So much of Taylor's story is about that ache of loneliness and I'm tapping into some of my own experiences, at times.

Emory Ahlberg

Oh, thank you so much, Claire. ❤️ That really means the world to me. I don't know if I'm wise, but I've definitely spent some of my life feeling like Taylor, so maybe that's where it comes from. I know what you mean about the table! Writing it brought back some great memories of that time for me. And for Taylor, that's the first time he's not just performing. He's not just being the "smart kid" or the "plausible girl." He's pulling from his own life, his own grief about his dad, and connecting it to these big ideas. And I think it's the first time we see him sort of integrating all the parts of himself instead of keeping them in separate, conflicting boxes. And I think what Taylor is learning is that it's messy and it's hard, but it's where the real art of living is. I'm so glad you felt that. Thank you again! ❤️

Robertlouis

Yes, he’s used to seeing life as a series of calculations and equations, and when it breaks the walls of those categories, it shakes his comfortable certainties. There’s still a lot of resistance to come from him, so the story has plenty of running time to go. And that’s a very good thing indeed.