What's the point of being more intelligent or gifted if you can't heal your wounds and save yourself? (Patreon)

I've been thinking lately: what's the purpose of being more intelligent or gifted if a person continues to suffer deeply or their life ends miserably?

Many of the advanced students I knew in school either ended up doing drugs to cope with the stress of their careers, became disillusioned with higher education / their fields of interest, and many of them suffered in jobs where they didn't fully understand what they were signing up for. I've also been more interested in philosophy lately and some of the most famous thinkers went insane and died horribly because they couldn't use their brilliant ideas to cope with their wretched childhoods and subsequent psychological disturbances (the ones that weren't contending with immediate issues like war or famine). It's the same with some contemporary geniuses I've come across. They struggle to improve their bleak lives, so instead of looking deep within and healing their traumas, they use their intellect to run away from their problems. They spend their lives trying to find grand justifications for their existence because grandiosity is often a way to cope with feeling humiliated by the world (and especially by their parents).It made me think of a famous author who said that many intelligent people he knew avoided reading because they couldn’t stand to be alone with their own thoughts--only for him to later commit suicide. Ever since then, I've thought "What was the point of my mother, teachers, relatives, friends, and peers shaming me and making me suffer so much for being a 'bad' student?" Instead of letting people pressure me into getting a college degree, I saved my money and focused on learning things on my own while working shit jobs. After years of practice, I finally decided to try making comics without an established fanbase or any connections. She Weeps for the Devil did incredibly well. I out earned everyone in my family and the smartest people I knew in high school in my 20s, despite being an emotionally wrecked shut in and a filthy hoarder who almost failed to pass my final year of school. My mother and family still don't respect me or care about what I do. They don't give a fuck about what I was able to achieve despite government research indicating that someone like me had a significantly increased chance of ending up pregnant as a teenager, incarcerated, on drugs, or somehow ruining my life at some point. I got this far even though I've been severely wounded by my parent's abuse and abandonment. I was never given a fucking break, just constantly treated like I was a bad kid for rejecting the toxic system that had rejected me.These cruel people that forced me into existence fucked me up so badly that, despite making it as a "professional artist," I still struggle with chronic psychological pain and I'm scared to leave the house because I'm paranoid and afraid of people. It's why I've been so reticent to share anything personal. That, and I have damaged people in my family who think it's unfair that I'm not homeless or dead in a ditch somewhere; they always treated me like I was stupid and inferior as a child, and they believe they deserve to get rewarded by the universe for following society's prescription for success. "I followed all of the rules, I DESERVE TO WIN!"Who needs enemies when you have callous, sadistic, and cruel family members who want to see you suffer because they haven't dealt with their own ancient/historical resentment?People probably think money and social reach doesn't matter if I'm not doing something prestigious. To them, nothing you do matters if you're not well adjusted to a SICK society. What is the point of writing a famous book, getting into some high status career, or being a fucking genius if you suffer everyday and can't get to the root of your problems?!The point of this post being: I don't think intelligence, talent, gifts, or even excellence means that much in the grand scheme of things if we can't use it to contend with our personal issues and enrich our own lives. I think we're all on the same playing field when it comes to trying to heal ourselves and connect with who we truly are. So if anyone has trauma from being bullied and treated like shit because you wanted to pursue life on your own terms instead of being forced to follow a predetermined path (like school), this is for you. I never hated acquiring skills or learning, but I did hate being told that my interests and personal goals didn't matter--that I, as my own person, didn't matter. Fuck that.