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YOU ARE NOT WHAT HE SAYS (Erotic Audio Role-play 18+) (Patreon)

Published:
2022-06-14 23:00:37
Edited:
2026-01-30 14:50:57
Imported:
2026-06
Tags:

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Content

Heeeeey...

Have you ever had someone try to manipulate you, tell you’re a bad lover, or too disinterested in sex?

Because that can suck - even when you know it’s not true.

So let's put that myth to bed.

😉

Snugs and hugs,

💜🧔🏻Matthew

[M4F] You Are Not Like He Said [Reassuring you] [Telling you truth] [You are not frigid] [You are not a bad lover] [MDom] [Binaural] [3D sound] [Romantic] [Sex] [Creampie] [Mutual Orgasms] [Immersive] [SFX]

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Comments

toweraudios

Alsoooooo! Just a note on my use of ‘slut’ or similar terms in audios which came up in the comments on the last post. Well, to start with, I hope it’s apparent I’m not using them in a shaming sense, but just to be sure we're on the same page, I thought it would be good to drop you a note on my thoughts about it? No doubt the word was once the stock insult of misogynistic building-site louts and bitchy gossip-girls. Recently though, I think usage of the word has changed, and that historical usage is more a TV cliche than a reality. Maybe it’s due to intersectional feminism reclaiming the word, or movements like the SlutWalk, or maybe it’s meme culture, or increased understanding of other sexualities due to LGBTQ+, maybe it’s the legalisation and legitimisation of sex-work, or books on polyamory like The Ethical Slut, or maybe it’s better social gender equity overall. Maybe it’s just culture. I’m not sure. But words like ‘shut’ and ‘hoe’ have been reclaimed for many people, and for others I’d say they’re a lot less powerful than they were. You can be a slut of anything. If you like ice-cream you’re an ice-cream-slut. You can join a group for sluts and slut-fans on Reddit or start a Twitter account and post anonymous pictures of your body for fun and appreciation (and I know several brave Belles do already!). You can use it as a common tag to describe your sexuality on dating and kink apps. Even activities once deemed slutty are mainstream. Where I live, pole-dancing classes for fitness-sluts have even opened to men. Dress codes have relaxed to the point that if a woman is told to cover up, it becomes a news story where the context is debated, airlines apologise, cafe workers are fired. I even saw an ad recently which was desperately trying to recruit men for a sex club where the amount of woman wanting the gangbang experience exceeded the amount of vetted men willing to participate. (For me, it’s not an ad I’d actually answer, but I found the fantasy hot, and thought you would too - hence audio 😁). I'm babbling a bit now, but my point is that the concept of the slut which once meant ‘promiscuous and easy’ is now used often as term of endearment - and a way of saying unabashedly: I enjoy my body and why shouldn’t I? That said, I understand that the word will always retain some power from its etymology and history of its usage. Thankfully it does! Because if it didn’t it wouldn’t be sexy to use in dirty talk. So yes, in an audio when I say something like ‘oh my god you’re turning me on, you hot little angel slut’, I’m conscious that I’m still pulling a little of the chain of history to use it as a trigger word. In that sense, I’m using it in the same way as you use a swear word like ‘fuck’. As you probably know already, taboo words / curse words / swears - have long been known to work as emotional regulators, providing psychological and physical release. Studies have shown that using words like ‘fuck’ can actually alleviate pain by about one third. Similarly, words like ‘slut’ and ‘cunt’ trigger a sexual release for many people in the right moment or context. Rather than shame, it can be a release of repression. If you’ve ever stood on an empty beach and screamed at the sea, you’ll know what I mean by the cathartic effect of using dirty words. There’s a great release in saying things and hearing things said, that we’d normally suppress. So when I use these kinds of words in an audio, I use them assuming these contexts. I’m speaking to you as a person who can say unabashedly: I enjoy sex and why shouldn’t I? I’m reaffirming that for us both. And I’m also saying it to toy with the taboo, for the fun and frisson and naughtiness of it, and for the emotional release and catharsis. I just wanted to be sure you know that I’m never saying it like a greasy lout on a building site might. It’s always in love and naughtiness, M xx

DJ

POV: you’re here for the comments 🙃

MsBunny

Hello Gorgeous 🖤🐇

Meg_just_Meg

The individual on question needs to see a medical specialist. Something is obviously wrong with his sense of taste 👅

Daphne

Semantics, nuance, context are to words what graduated color, hue shifts, values are to painting. I love having my perceptions tweaked (among other things) - thank you, Matt. “Slut” has a different tone than it did an hour ago. 💜

Raegan Howard

I'm a Tower slut and proud of it. And also, just a slutty person in general. I have been told that I secrete sexual vibes even when I'm not trying. Such a compliment!! And I agree the words said at the right moment can be exhilarating. Other words you use that stand out Tart. Right ( as a directional term..."bend right over" that's actually my favorite. I love when you use that. I think it's just part of your speech pattern, but my goodness it tweaks something in my head. Hope you are having a lovely day Matt. I hope you had the world's best cup of coffee today. 💜💜💜

Katie

“You can be a slut of anything.” That’s a tshirt. 🤭🤭🤭

toweraudios

Slow dancing boobies 4 eva. 🥰 I'm great Maggie - hope you're well!! xx

DJ

Also, I was the first comment. Where’s my treat? 🤓

toweraudios

Eee needs his 'ed read, Meg! 😊 Hey there! xx

Maggie Ren

Pfft the mating slow dance 🤣 I'm great! I just wish it was colder 😪

Denee Leery

Well I didn’t expect to listen to this and start crying. I was with a manipulative emotional abuser for five years. Another new favorite audio.

Dawn

Mmmm, tart.

toweraudios

Hey Daphne! Exactly! And context is to words what the room and lighting is to a painting. - - I’m really glad the topic was brought up! 💜

Dawn

Yesssssss. I would wear the sh1t out of that shirt

Daphne

Words are fascinating — why does “pussy” take me from zero to sixty, but “slut” or “whore” leave me idling in neutral? 🤔😉💋

toweraudios

😃 Raegan you definitely do drip sexiness, but forthrightness and care and strength too! 😌😘 And yesss! I love ‘tart’. It’s affectionate but a little naughty!! 💜

Dawn

This audio made me feel things, and not just those things fellow perverts (or sluts). Incredibly warm and moving Matt, the fantasy for many, having physical intimacy with someone who definitely has emotional and intellectual intimacy as well. Can you say best boyfriend ever? 💜 Bravo Handsome, bravo

Eternidad

👋🏻Hola Matt 😊 Have you ever studied cinematography?

toweraudios

Don’t bite me now. Or maybe do… 😉😘

toweraudios

It snowed in the hills here yesterday. 🥶 Come and rub some warm boobies on me.

CaperBelle Audios 💘

For all kinds of reasons, many, from beginning to end, this was something quite special. And boy, did I need special today. Thank you for being you❤️🦋x

toweraudios

I’m the same with liking ‘cock’ but I hardly ever use ‘dick’ because it’s like the annoying dude at school. 😂

Eternidad

Besides Literature and Audio Engineering, are there any other subjects that you would be interested in studying?

Maggie Ren

You know we'd have to be naked to share body heat correctly, right? 😉

MsBunny

Just over packing for my trip 😂 🖤🐇

Daphne

Oh, yes! “Cock” is a top- ten contender among the one word wonders. For those of a certain age, “Dick” only brings to mind a former US president… (1968-1974). 😉

Kris

Dearest Matthew, week after week you spoil us. All the smut and filth is an absolute delight. The hours spent fantasizing about your body pressed into mine, your tongue curved around my nipple or riding high between my thighs, cock caressing my cupid's bow, are far more than I could admit while retaining any sort of dignity. You mind makes such fantastic experiences and I'm so glad you choose to share them. For a man whose voice is laced with lust, your words couldn't be sweeter. The consideration you put into your audios, the way you listen and learn from all of us here, the time you take to show that you care, it all means so much. Recognizing there is healing to be had even in this odd, fantastical space you've created tells me so much about the heart of empathy beating inside you. I and a number of belles/beaus have been on the brutal receiving end of abuse by partners. It's not a sexy topic; It's an incredibly difficult one to broach. Regardless you acknowledge it. You discuss it openly and honestly, remind people they are safe, and put your fucking heart in it. Your genuine concern and sensitivity for us here is so endearing. Dearest Matthew, I cannot help but think of a much younger self, a more naïve self, who heals more and everyday by thinking about a man across the ocean, and smiling. I don't know of any other creators who manage that. I can't name a creator who makes me cry, laugh, and masturbate in one 15 minute post either. Just you. I consider myself very blessed to have found you. I'm pretty agnostic about it all but I might just start believing in angels if you stick around💜

ਏFallaਓ

Request impossible to fulfill: I wish you were a dirty talker and that I found this audio twelve years ago. One of the hardest battles in my mind was understanding everything you said in that audio. I had to rebuild myself for years and still, I often can't see myself the way people see me. One of my best friends said 'You look beautiful today, Falla.' And my answer. 'Oh, it's the makeup and the dress.' And then she smiled at me and said 'Why don't you take the fucking compliment?' But I'm learning to accept that and love who I am every day a little more. I'm in tears as I type this, and possibly my head is far from being able to define what this audio meant to me. Stop talking to my soul, Matt. I'm lying, fuck you, never stop. But I have to say, a part of me knows that when I take off my clothes for your voice, I am accepted as I am and I am adored as I am and that takes me to a vertex of acceptance and love where I feel perfect within my imperfections. Thank you for making love to us today. It was what I needed. You're beautiful, Tower. You are the most adorable fucking man I've ever met. This audio made me want to walk with the tip of my nose from your shoulder to your earlobe, leave a secret kiss on your neck, and then bite your ear slowly. And then climb on you and do Shakira moves. 😌 Thank-you, precious. 🥺 The world doesn't deserve you, but I'm grateful that we have you here. ❤️

Eternidad

Have you ever been a teacher?

Niamh

Um wow how dare you put feelings in my porn good sir! Think I knew this was going to hit a little too close to home when you said “Come back to me”. In my early sexual life I flopped between periods of hypersexuality and complete abstinence, I was always either too much or not enough for the people I was with and trying to navigate the world of relationships and dating as a then undiagnosed individual with ASD on top of trying to repress my asexuality was frustrating in ways I can’t properly express. I found myself craving the attention of people who I should have known better than to trust with my journey, one person even said himself that the thing he liked most about me was my inexperience yet whenever I didn’t perform to his standards it was always my fault and I should do better, be more, but he had no intention of teaching me. Thankfully I’m in a better place now, I know myself and how my brain functions but the impact of those people has left me with lifelong wounds that I’ve learned to live with and having them torn open again with this audio was strangely cathartic. Guess it shows how much I’ve grown over the years to hear you address these specific insecurities of mine and believe you when you say none of it matters, that I’m worthy and accepting and deserving of love, that I am enough without even trying to be. I don’t know what the point of this comment is, I don’t know if anyone will relate or read it but hey ho 😅 Thank you for all that you do Matthew, you’re so much more than just some sexy man on the internet but you know that already 😜 Snugs and hugs from across the world xx

Linda

Holy fuck Matthew, damn! By far, for me, this is the sexist audio EVER. It is raw, loving, caring and hot! You're in the moment, and your expertise has a lover is evident, you can be gentle and rough at the same time. I swear I had an orgasm just listening....well done Master Matthew well done💜😍🤗😘

toweraudios

Denee - I hope the audio is a big word-hug for you. 🫂 My guess is that even though you realise this kind of manipulation is a lie after you’re out of the relationship, it can still sting at times. 😔 Biggest congratulations for getting out of that relationship. Not everyone can do it. 💜

Venusinaphrodite_

So my first thought was I can’t do this one. But I’m glad I did. I’ve talked about my past often but there’s aspects of my past relationship I’ve not talked about here. At the time I only spoke of it my best friend. So my ex had a group of women that I slowly found out about and then all at once. They took it upon themselves, along with my ex, to all laugh and joke that the reason I deserved to be cheated on was because I just laid there. Said horrible things about my lack of ability to please a man, and that’s why I couldn’t keep one. Then they stole my photo to put a face to the convo and took it to social media. I dealt with the bullying that whole year. And his response when I pleaded with him for all of them to leave me alone was he had needs and I was his second choice anyways and couldn’t live up to her. So this whole thing was really intense for me. Not being scared of our past is where I lost it. I have this fear that maybe it’s too much. I mean it’s not the sum of who I am but it’s definitely made me grow into who I’ve become. Theres’s still days where I think I’ve been ruined. No one will want damage goods. But they’re a lot farther between now. It was nice to have your voice say things we all hope to hear in those types of situations. Still turning my walls into windows I see lol

Sdwwd

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Matt !I'm very glad that women have started to reclaim the terms "hoe" and "slut". It seems like women can never please anyone in that sense. Either we're too prudish, yet in a way it's seen as being "pure" but when we make it apparent, that we're just as sexual as men and enjoy it, then we're seen as "whores", "sluts" and whatever else. Anyway, hope all you lovelies have a nice day/night and I can't wait to listen to this audio in a bit :).

Shamesha

Denee, I understand. That’s two years of my life I will never get back and have no desire to repeat. For me it’s the self hatred, believing you’re not good enough mentally or physically. I feel like fantasy is all I have because it will never be a reality.

ਏFallaਓ

Babe, I wish I could give my soul so you could hug it. I've been there. I love you. You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. I'm truly honest about it. You deserve love and care and respect. 😭❤️🫂

Linda

Ditto Falla!! A precious gift indeed, a man who can make all of us swoon has super powers.

toweraudios

Dawn - it made me feel things too. I felt all super-protective while I was making the audio. At least until the end. Then I was just ravaging you!! 😅 😘xx

ਏFallaਓ

He really have a beautiful heart. I can't believe he is actually a real person sometimes. It's like he is just on my mind or something. How can anyone be this perfect, Linda? 😭

Dawn

I have to admit, that was my favorite part 😏

Lisa xx

Ha nice, 69 comments 👀 And I'm sorry Matt, no letter has arrived yet? If not, imma send another one! 💞 Take care y'all, and a good night x

Venusinaphrodite_

I love you too amor!!! thank you for always being there for me❤️❤️❤️

toweraudios

Hola Georgette! I did one paper at University, but it was stuff I knew inside out already because I had a part-time job in that area, so I didn’t take it further... 😁

Venusinaphrodite_

My heart is still in my throat but a million times yes. Also you and Shaki👀

ਏFallaਓ

That's just beautiful to read that you're in a better place right now, love. Just... I'm sharing this hug with you. 🥺🫂

Shamesha

Can definitely relate. Thanks for putting it into words 🤗🤗🤗🤗

ਏFallaਓ

My hips don't lieeee. 💃🔥 Aw babe girl. 🥲🫂

Venusinaphrodite_

Kate I love you so much! Like harder than hard. Thank you so so much. I’m a puffy-eyed snotty mess at the moment lol but agree he was an idiot.

Dawn

I just heard cum called high fructose p0rn syrup. My life has changed forever 🤣

Sdwwd

I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I know it can be hard not to give in to bad thoughts sometimes but don't ever think of yourself as damaged goods. As Falla said, you deserve love, care and respect and to be treated as a human being with feelings.

toweraudios

🥰 Thank-you for being you too, Tracie! I feel pretty lucky that we get to make each other‘s worlds a little richer. 😘xx

Dawn

You spoil me Kate 😪💜😘

Niamh

Sending all the love and hugs your way x

ਏFallaਓ

So many emotions. I think I need a wine. 🥲

Sdwwd

Glad to hear you're in a better place now and how much you're grown! And don't worry, I can relate to the entire first paragraph, almost as If I'd written it myself, lol.

Venusinaphrodite_

They sure don’t! I’ll take that wine with you know and night out!💃

Dawn

Hey Matt, I'll bet you an orgasm that our clothes look better on the floor 😏👗👔⬇️

ਏFallaਓ

I wish I could dance with you all night loooong 🥺💃🥂

toweraudios

Haha, I really do need to do an AMA huh?! Well I might need to explain that as an undergrad, I did a lot of non-specialist papers, and crashed friend’s courses - everything from graphic design to genetics to logic to musicology. (One of my proudest moments was getting an A- for a musical composition in a course I wasn’t even enrolled in 🤣). But I’m terrible with Math, so I often have dreams that I’m back in high school, actually paying attention this time and passing. So yep - I’d study math - so I don’t have to endure those dreams anymore. 😂

Dawn

I need shots Falla, lots of shots.

ਏFallaਓ

Let's just open the tequila bottle, Dawn. And did you said body shots? 🥂 Kate, join us and let me introduce you to our dirty club. 😌

Venusinaphrodite_

Sunny thank you so much! I think some days it just feels like there’s a lot of baggage. I’m in such a good place now. The treatment we accept sometimes because we get brainwashed to think we deserve it. Thank god it’s the past❤️

Venusinaphrodite_

Niamh all the love and hugs right back to you! Xx

Katie

I pulled over to write this… I got a minute and a half in and had to stop. (I listened to Farmers Market in traffic yesterday and really enjoyed myself until someone tried to sideswipe me during the “show me how much pressure” part and it ruined the vibe 😂) I have rewritten what I want to say 4 times…. and I just deleted it again. So never mind, I’ll be back after I listen to the entire thing. I just know I felt more feeling in 90 seconds than I have in 10 years and whoaaaaaaaaaa buddy what are you doing. Okay I need to drive, though I wish it was to Seattle and not introspective village. & allllllllll the kisssesss They keep getting better. 😘

MsBunny

I would hug you so long if I could. To be diminished by a lover is a psychological curb stomping. Thank you reminding me that hurt happens but, so does caring. Which reminds me of what an older women told me that I should have believed sooner “There are no frigid women just unkind men (lovers) who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing.” Thank you, Maddy You are a very good man. XOXO 🖤🐇

ਏFallaਓ

It works like this, Kate. 😌 You lick a little bit of salt, take the tequila shot and then bite the lime. Your life will never be the same again. 💃

Dawn

Oooooh, I would prefer the slow teasing removal of Matt's clothing. 🤤🤤🤤 Piece by torturous piece, licking, kissing, nibbling all the way

ਏFallaਓ

I was thinking about your emotions in this audio. 🥲🫂

ਏFallaਓ

I get drunk with 3 or 4. I think you just need one, babe. 🤣

ਏFallaਓ

Just love us in slow burn, Matthew Tower. Oh, God, Dawn. 🔥

MsBunny

I need a shock blanket 🖤🐇

Dawn

Body shots or shiver shots if done correctly Falla. I'm sooo up for that!

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

So this is take 3 on my comment. I had to stop after around minute 4 and come back to finish. Glad I did, but man Matthew you really hit the feels on this one! Plus I’m hyper sensitive this week anyway with my 50th birthday on Friday and depending on the day depends on how I feel about it. I think you’re setting my bar too high on men; men my age just don’t talk like this and they should. What woman doesn’t want their partner say such loving things? I’ll be in New York City for a long 4-day weekend with some friends but I have the hotel room for myself. Maybe I’ll listen to the Friday audio when I’m back to my room. May even bring a toy or two and pretend it’s you! ❤️❤️💜💜

Dawn

I know Falla! I got myself all tingly just imagining that image. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

🥹🥹🥹🥹 Matt, you sweet puppy! I generally feel similar to how you describe, but for the opposite reason. My libido is often higher than my partners’, so I feel like I’m not good enough, pretty enough, sexy enough because they don’t want it all the time like I do. At the same time, I don’t like bringing it up much because I don’t want anyone to feel guilty for not wanting it all the time like I do. It’s a conundrum. With lots of opening up and reassurance from my fiancé, we’ve just come to the conclusion that I’m insatiable. 😅 And that’s ok. As to your first comment, I’m a slut and I have no qualms about it! That’s why we’re polyamorous and why I also get plenty of “kelly time” (and you, Matt, have become a regular part of kelly time 😙) when they’re not feeling it. Good thing I just got some kelly time before my arm starts hurting. Got my second booster, y’all!!! Taking shots, saving the world! 😁 Feeling like I got punched hard in the arm is so worth it if I’m keeping myself and my community healthy. Yay!

Patti

...that is amazing.

Venusinaphrodite_

Dawn the way that we need that in our lives🥵🥵🥵🥵 the tension💦

ਏFallaਓ

Just keeping the fire burning all night long, starting with the clothes and the kisses... 🔥

ਏFallaਓ

Jenn, happy birthday!!! I hope you can enjoy a lot this new phase of your life, girl. 💜💜💜

darbyofshire

Maaaaaaaaaaatt 🥹🥺 I wish I could give you such a big hug after this audio. I’m having a lot of unexpected feels

ਏFallaਓ

Shiver sho-jahsjsiajs-ts Oh, I'm wet. 🥲 Again.

Linda

I believe we all have that one negative trigger from an abusive relationship. Before I met my husband, I truly believed I was damaged goods, the physical abuse from a previous relationship was so horrible I ended up with 2 fracture ribs from being kicked and at 18 I started to spiral down. My best friend pulled me up, literally slapped me saying "you can't let an asshole jerk define who you really are...you're smart, fun, beautiful, witty.....now let that girl I know shine". All of you are amazing, smart, kind, beautiful women hugs to you my lovelies😘🤗

Patti

Kelsey, I'm so sorry you went through that. You should never be treated that way -- NO ONE should ever be treated that way -- especially not by someone who is supposed to love you.

toweraudios

And there you go , Kris, managing to be so heartwarming and so sexy in one breath too. Thanks for everything you’ve shared in the past when there has been discussion about abusive exs. I’m not done learning about these situations, or talking about the subtleties at all. But the next audio along these lines is a slightly more light and fun ‘getting him back’ fantasy I know we’ve both had, because we’ve talked about it before. You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about next week… 😁Also. The thought of rubbing it against your Cupid’s bow is enough to make me wanna fire a few flaming arrows… 😉 xx

Venusinaphrodite_

Kelly we love an empowered slut!🤣 it’s a term of endearment for me at this point but even before that it’s just hot🥵 I always appreciate when you mention your dynamic along with some of the other belles because I feel seen. It wasn’t until the year before last that I let go of trying to force myself to follow “traditional” relationship dynamics and was like that doesn’t work for me. It always reminds me my normal is normal

Dawn

I think this is an audio I would like to be a part of, you know, just to practice. It would be longer than 20 minutes though. Perhaps a two-parter, 🥵🥵 We start at the front, but don't forget the back. Back muscles need to be licked as well so they don't feel left out

Patti

Matthew, I categorically refuse to post anything this week that resembles an overly-fraught personal essay. Perhaps you would like to choose something else from my writerly repertoire? I could probable eke out a mediocre haiku, or perhaps a brief persuasive piece on why dinosaurs are better than unicorns. (I've already popped a narrative into the suggestions box.)

Dawn

Kate, you lick his neck, sprinkle salt on it, lick it off, drink the tequila from whatever lovely spot you have chosen, and he holds the lime wedge in his mouth for you to take with your sexy lips. Definitely shiver inducing 🔥

Venusinaphrodite_

Linda I’m so sorry you went through that! But I’m so happy that you had such a great friend around and found a dreamboat!!! When I first got out of it I didn’t know how to function because he controlled everything. So I had no inner voice it was only his. Now I’m it just feels surreal like I have to remind myself that was reality for 4 years. You are amazing in every since of the word and I’m glad you’re heart has so much love in it despite your experience!🤗

Venusinaphrodite_

Patti thank you! I think the biggest lesson I learned the hard way is I can’t expect someone who can’t love themselves to love me. I hate the way I learned it but thankful to have the knowledge from it.

ਏFallaਓ

Oh, Kate. You're becoming a bad girl. That's good. I promise. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

ਏFallaਓ

You have no idea how I love when you share a little bit more of you and your fiancé. I really think we are best friends or something. It's just beautiful. 💜

toweraudios

Do you know Falla, the Shakira comment made me laugh out loud really hard. Do you know why? Because I’m so spoiled always knowing there will be something honest and beautifully written in your comments, like what you’re saying here - about how hard it is to accept that you really are beautiful, after you’ve been made to think differently. And just as I started to feel so touched by the comment, you slap me in the face with a gag. So I nearly laugh-cry. All I can say is your friend is right. Take the fucking compliment, beautiful! 😘

Alaina

Patreon is janky AF tonight. My comment disappeared and now yours is cut off WTF!!

ਏFallaਓ

I can actually hear your laugh in my mind right now and I love your laugh soooo much. Aaaaaaaa! I want to squeeze you, like this: 🫂 Matt, you are beautiful. 🥺💜

Ann

Dear Ann, I remember we were sitting out under the Patreon Banner one night when we'd only just met and I don't know why we knew we could trust each other. Why we felt the need to really start opening up to each other. But you told me some things, which I never forgotten. Cause I know how much words can get inside your head. Do you remember what you told me? Yeah. That you were called some names, like a XXXXXXX. Yeah. And told that you're not good enough in sex and that you're bad and bed. And now I think you worried if we have sex, I'll find out that that's true and I won’t want you anymore, maybe a little bit of that. Yeah. Well I just have to say, I love you so much and that's so fucking wrong on so many levels. I don't even know where to start. Ok? One thing, God, that is a totally charmless and unsexy thing for anyone to say. I mean, someone who tries to make someone interested in sex by calling them frigid isn't exactly Casa Nova material huh. Only some kinda of immature idiot is gonna say something like that. No wonder you weren’t turned on. And you know what else they’re the kind of person who would say something like that is somebody feels insecure and knows you're too good for them. So all they've got to work with is manipulation. Babe, I know how kind and caring you are and how you always look to see if the faults yours first. But if you're not attracted to someone and they haven't turned you on, that's their problem, not yours. And one more thing whoever said that they knew they were unlimited time. They knew you'd wise up. They weren't playing a long game. It was their last attempt to keep you with them just before you saw right through them and left ok. Can, you see what an obvious and silly tactic was now. And really it's kind of funny in a way it's like high school boy psychology. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Words cut. Especially if you've been carrying around since you were too naïve to know they weren't true. Let’s be real, babe you are very sexy piece of ass. Matthew Dear Matthew Ummmm 😭😭🥰 Ann Dear Ann The reality is I am not some insecure fuck, who’s worried you're gonna leave me. I'm not scared of your past. I'm not scared of your emotions. I will love you harder. Fuck you harder fight for you harder and I'll never manipulate you. But if you wanna give yourself to me, I'm really gonna take you. So just say the word. Matthew Dear Matthew WORD! WORD! WORD! X 10000000000000000 WORD! Ann Seriously Matthew this was perfect I swooned, cried and was turned on. Perfect. 🤗 Now let's see if this is Patreon Mod fodder.

Patti

I'm afraid this one was 100% operator error! Hopefully it's fixed now.

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Falla, you’re beautiful. Not just to look at. YOU. The way you express yourself, the kindness in your heart, the raw emotions you pour into your words. You’re beautiful. ❤️❤️❤️

ਏFallaਓ

Kelly. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Oh MY GOD. You are so beautiful too and lovely and a light in this world. Thank you, gorgeous. 🥺❤️

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Kate I was a wreck for my 30th too but I was excited for my 40th for whatever reason lol But thanks for the wishes!

ਏFallaਓ

You just killed me. I swear to God.

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Thanks Falla! I’ll be fine once Friday hits and the drinks start flowing! 🍻🍺

Maggie Ren

Btw, I dunno if you've received my letter yet (cause sick Matt) but remember: No kidnap pls 🤣🤣🤣

Ann

Denee and Shamesha this breaks my heart. YOU both are PERFECT! BEAUTIFUL! PERFECT! WONDERFUL! PERFECT!

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Kelsey. 🥰 I’ve been calling myself a slut for years. I’ve been slut-shamed before by people who were just as slutty as I am, but they weren’t even ethical about it. Cheaters and whatnot. It’s like what the hell??? I’m not out here breaking hearts, betraying, or hurting people! Calling myself a slut feels empowering, and it reminds me that I do my best to care for my partners, rather than just use people.

toweraudios

Niamh! I almost want to apologise for opening old wounds, but the fact you found it cathartic means so much to me! Audios like this wouldn’t exist without me hearing about your experiences and it’s been amazing to see you sharing more and more when the right moments arise. The line you were fed about liking your inexperience, then blaming you for it, is exactly the kind of BS I wanted to raise. I’m so glad you can see it for what it is now. Much love, M xx

Ann

Forget the belt It is the zipper!

Ann

Ah drives to Seattle. Memories. Sigh. This week it will be Thursday pre-dawn so....maybe no sexy time while driving. Then again morning is a really good time. Hmmm......

Ann

Jenn Happiest of birthdays!!!!!!!

toweraudios

Wow. 🥵 And double wow. 😌😌 I love it so much that you have a new favourite, Linda! 💜

Kelly (Your Friendly Neighborhood Pansexual)

Falla, I’m glad I can give you a smile with my and my fiancé’s antics. We support each other, joke, have fun, annoy the crap out of each other sometimes, but I love them so much. 🥰

Ann

Kelly I love it a new shirt "Ethical Slut" I love it.

Shamesha

Kate, I definitely turned to food after listening to this audio 😂

Ann

Wise woman.

Venusinaphrodite_

Exactly! It’s always shrouded in ignorance when it gets hurled at someone. And I mean really you being responsible with more than one person shows how mature you are!❤️

Katie

I can’t even skim without tears. I saw a sign for a lost dog… sobs. I just can’t even think. Thank you for thinking of me. I’m touched, honored and terrified. 😂😭🫢 Morning is a good time Ann 💜 Actually anytime you make the time is a good time. 💜💜

Katie

SO If you get 3am DMs from me… You know why. 🤧😭🥺

Ann

Agree This is a sexy audio. Got me good this one.

Ann

You are so precious to me! 🤗🤗🤗🥰

Ann

I am up by 3:30 so feel free. 💜 #KatieIsTheBest!

toweraudios

Kelsey. As you know, I have a little glued-together shell which is a constant reminder that something which has been broken and then fixed can be the most beautiful thing ever. 😌xx

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Awe Kate that sucks! The only thing I missed that year was a high school reunion and I already see most of them already. I will have a drink for you in the city!

toweraudios

Hey Sunny! 💜 That’s totally the problem. I’ve read about it quite a lot in feminist writing and there’s even an acronym for it - the ‘MWD’ - which means the Madonna/whore dichotomy. anyway I hope you like the audio!! xx

toweraudios

Lisaaaaa! It’s definitely the first I’ve heard that’s taken this long! 😯😐

toweraudios

Come here, turn around, and I’ll put some on your pancakes. 🤭

Lisa xx

🥲 why does the global postal service hate me. Ah well, guess I'll have to make some new yoni art to send 💅 and a letter. Thank you for bearing with me lol!

toweraudios

Clothing dropping to floor shot, noted. SloMo buttons popping, noted. Difficult back shot, noted. Close-up zipper, noted.📝

toweraudios

Hey Katie! It was nice to see you out having fun the other night, and 🥹 maybe this sounds crazy but it means so much to me that you actually pulled over to write a quick note! I look forward to hearing from you again later after you’ve been through introspec village, and hopefully to Seattle. 💜😘xx

Venusinaphrodite_

Thank you for that❤️ Thank you for always being in our corner. And addressing topics that aren’t always easy. You’ve always handled them in a way that doesn’t feel like an affront. You do this thing where you take our experiences and remind us we have permission to feel them and work through them and it’ll be ok. That we don’t have to be trapped in them. Or we don’t have to hide them. Or that they’re not who we are, only parts of our stories. I’m really grateful to you for how you take care of us. Everyone really appreciates it and you. I think you remind people that it’s ok to let themselves feel safe. I really do think you hold a mirror up for us to relearn the way we see ourselves. Lots of love to you in all things Xx.

Venusinaphrodite_

Luce you know I would love a good s’mores lol thank you for that it really means a lot to me. I’ve got an alibi when you need it❤️

Ann

You know hahaha this was my ex-husband. I never really realized it before. I mean it wasn't exactly a super loving marriage thanks to pregnancy and upper middle class parents who were embarrassed. But he wasn't aggressive about it which is why I guess it was easy to slip under the radar. Nobody before him was much of anything or even consensual so...I didn't know. I knew nothing. Everything was always so fast and/or unfortunate. There is an assumption of knowledge with women and s3x perhaps there is an equal assumption with men too. Well sh*t. Interesting.....You know I thought for years I must be asexual. Masturbation for stress relief aside. Hmm.....I don't think I am. It makes me sad . Not so much for me for others who don't know. I don't regret a single minute of my life and would not change it for anything because my life is full and wonderful and full of promise and adventure. BEST DAY EVER and all that. But I do feel a little sad. Well good thing I have therapy tomorrow afternoon. Woohoo Elizabeth job security for you. 🤣 I am so glad I found this place. Thank you.

ਏFallaਓ

That's just so cuteeeee hahahaha.

Patti

💜💜💜

Ann

Kelly that is too funny. I am fairly certain I could not get away with that shirt in anyway at my work (school) or with my family (yea no). I love the idea of it though.

toweraudios

Totally. And there are super fun kinky women who have to keep things quiet, because their guy thinks his FMF threesome fantasy is the be all and end all of kink, hahaha.

Ann

That was beautiful and you are beautiful Gosh. Just so much to take in. 💜🤗

toweraudios

🎉🎂Happy birthday, Jenn! 💜 You’d better not back out of taking me long and hard in New York, or I’ll be very upset 😭 😂

toweraudios

Kelly! Your attitude to slutdom (is that a word?😂) has totally been a part of the influence on my change in thinking over the last year. I’ve really admired your openness. And another thing. I really admire the way you and your partner simply acknowledge your differences and go on loving each other rather than getting dissatisfied and trying to change each other. I get the feeling that we never find everything in one person, but once we can acknowledge that with someone we love, we kind of do, because then we can allow each other the space we need. Like you’re saying with Kelly time. Hmm. Okay. Well. Not sure if I’m making any sense. But yeah. 😂🤣😘xx

Titania

Hello, darlings! Just signing on after a long, hot day...it's 97f/36C and I had to work outside. Matt... sending you all this steamy, sultry weather to balance out your autumn chill and drizzle.😘 This looks like a compelling audio and an interesting discussion. Can't wait to dive in! Much love, all! 💙💚💛💜🥰

Lanai [honeyhaunting]

Is this audio kind? I don’t want my feelings beat up , just my pum pum pls 🥲🥺

toweraudios

Soo nice to hear from you DoS!! 💜 It’s been a while!! Hugs accepted and thanks for all the continued support. 🥰 xx

Ann

It's lovely. No beating up of feelings.

Titania

💙💚💛

Freya

How lucky to have a new audio on my birthday! <3

toweraudios

Damn I’ve gotta get back to work now, but Patti! I’m sure you can see above that I really appreciated your comment on the last post! Not fraught at all. Pure thoughtful. 🥰All essays, haikus, suggestion box posts, pick-up lines, are welcoooome!! xx

Patti

Summer awakens Teased open with heat and care The blossom unfurls

Patti

Alternatively, is this the Hogwarts Express? Because It feels like you and I are headed someplace magical.

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Matthew nothing would make the trip better than with you in my bed! Rooms all paid for, just sayin! ❤️❤️💦💦🐓🐳🌋

Ann

Happy happy birthday Freya. Best year ever coming right up! 🤗🥳

Niamh

You guys are going to get me all emotional again! 😅 As shitty as it is that most of us can relate to a person trying to bring us down and make us believe them, you are all such incredibly beautiful souls and deserve nothing but love 💜

Ann

Last day of school 🥳🥳🥳🥳🌺🌺🌺🥳🥳🥳. Summer school next week but pfffttt 4 hours 4 days a week with way way way more pay. Good bye you little ( high school not really little) beasts. I don’t think I will miss you. WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Katja

Maybe I should start with a disclaimer saying that this is purely for me to get my thoughts out. I probably won't speak about it anymore since I don't think it'll be necessary. Why does this sound kinda ominous lol it's nothing so serious, really! + It might make sense only to me I've not exactly been called frigid but I guess that's implied by calling me stuck up or a bitch simply for not "giving in" (could be emotionally or sexually). Or being called too much on the other hand. But I learned that it's nothing to do with me personally but people's attachment styles to some degree. Even though I'd be a hypocrite not to mention that I've got a fearful avoidant attachment style that's really hard to transform into a secure one. But, I'm doing a lot better. Although, every once in a while something triggers it. Could be a positive thing too, like this audio. I'm not gonna go into a lot of detail (says as she writes an entire essay), but the way this resonated with me caused an entire emotional storm in me. I've tried to think logically about it but that didn't work. Yes, who knew rationalizing your emotions before even feeling them wasn't really the solution *heavy sarcasm*, so I sat through them. Well, ultimately it lead to completely falling apart "in your arms". It's not even about any shitty guys or mean things said about me, but for someone to know me down to my core like this. Feeling like I've got nowhere to hide. I'd probably have a full on panic attack irl. I felt like I'd been turned upside down (idek how to explain it). It's not the first time I felt like this, but it does form a full circle with the first time I had such an intense reaction, just a little after joining. The situations are completely different, though. Also, I'm different from then, too. Having left my initial fear based reaction, I can say that this is a wonderfully healing audio (I never thought of it as anything else anyways). It was such a weird battle in me whether to fight the feelings or lean in, but I gotta say this was one of the times where giving in felt right, a relief actually. I have a lot more good things to say too, but tbh I'm afraid I'll start overthinking like I usually do and I wanna remain grounded like I am now. It's also probably nothing that hasn't been mentioned or that you don't know already, anyways. Ranting like this still makes me feel like I'm being kinda selfish but I know it's fine and I don't have to feel like that. Anyhow, I'm so very grateful to you.

Patti

Best Day Ever! I'm done Friday and I can't wait. My middle schoolers are positively feral.

Dawn

I woke up this morning and realized we did not give enough appreciation to all the kissing!! It felt like the kind of kissing that you could feel all the way to your toes! Thank you Matt for the lip love 😘😘😘😘

Venusinaphrodite_

Yes! Ugh it’s so hot. Kissing is beautiful, yes please😍

Ann

I love this. I love your little commentaries too. ( says as she writes an entire essay) 🤣Thank you Katja 🤗❤️

Dawn

I'm actually sitting at work with the audio running through my brain and I feel absolute contentment 😌

Venusinaphrodite_

Oh it’s the “come back to me” and noticing the difference in reaction. I was like well now that I’m completely transparent. Instead of guilting us he accepted everything and that is the most foreign concept. At first I was like EMOTIONAL DAMAGE then I was like never mind and yeeted myself right into confronting myself lol You explained it perfectly. I like your essays thank you very much.

Venusinaphrodite_

I love that! I woke up feeling so light. I think he covered us in smooches and then sent us on our way. It feels like 🥰

Dawn

I feel like I'm wrapped in a cuddly blanket ready for a nap nap. 🧘‍♀️

Venusinaphrodite_

Blanket burrito!!! I need a snooze in a sunny corner too🐱 oh my gosh he could sing us to sleep. I’ll take that lullaby!

Venusinaphrodite_

Thank you so much my love!🥰❤️😘😘😘😘

Daphne

I thought I'd posted the following comment earlier( from my iPad), but since I don't see it, I'll repost. Mea culpa if it does appear somewhere and I'm repeating myself... Yes! Yes! Yes! Ann — it’s the sadness conundrum I’m trying to work through/understand. I SO get what you’re saying - it’s not regret, per se, it’s something wider, deeper. For me, perhaps it’s being lulled out of complacency at an age when I thought I had become relatively self-aware. It has been humbling to have that perception challenged. Whenever we examine ourselves, our beliefs, our past actions, it’s dicey, uncomfortable. Perhaps the sadness is a byproduct of metamorphosis. Or maybe I’m just a crybaby. 😉💜 For anyone else whose cocoon is unraveling - may we all come to love the emerging butterflies 😘😘🤗🤗🐛🦋

Ann

Daphne you did post it. Patreon gremlins tend to delete things based on????? Who knows. Thank you for your response. No your not just a cry-baby. Emotions a real. Growth is real. Metamorphosis is kind of awesome. Well painful but what an adventure. 🤗💜

Katja

Can't do without them, Ann 😅 and thank you 🤗💞 I felt you saying emotional damage like never before. That just reminds me how I use dissociation as a coping mechanism (obv unhealthy) when I'm extremely overwhelmed. Good we both yeeted ourselves lmao your kind words are what keeps my essays alive 🥲❤️

Venusinaphrodite_

I’m here to supply you with TikTok phrases when we can’t find the words to express how we feel🫡

Katja

Always thought quality time was my love language. Turns out it's actually TT phrases 😂🫡

CaperBelle Audios 💘

Now imagine the jokes about "Dick Tracie" 😵 (shy girl at school was an understatement, the cringe! 🥴) ❤️🦋x

Dawn

I listened again on my way home from work (I may have a problem). This one...just...ahhhhhh Matthew. I can't get over how affected by this one I was. Let us all teach our loved ones they don't have to tolerate the bullshit. And also teach them they better not be the one saying horrible things to someone.

Titania

Yes. Also, Dawn...stay safe!

Dawn

You too! I think it's all past me now. Birds are chirping and rain stopped

ਏFallaਓ

Oh, Kat. This words. You. 🥺

Katie

It’s crazy that these audios give us such an opportunity to learn so much about ourselves. I’m not sure if it’s because I didn’t commit to my first listen to the end and my subconscious started making plans but when I went to listen for real, I was so gosh I don’t even know how to say it …emotionally distant…than I was the first time. The tone, the kissing -ohhhh my god it was perfect- the intention… it was so good, and I was so turned on after it was over. The things that were said though… I look so forward to the day where I can get through it without identifying a new mental health obstacle, I think it will be peaceful. I was so detached and I think it will be a process to listen to this and feel like it could actually be applicable to me.

Katie

What I was trying to express yesterday was that some times I do worry about how much I may come to emotionally depend on what I hear in these audios (this one specifically) and then create a reality that is neither “reality” or fantasy which is where I have gotten lost in the past. I wish I could say the things you are saying to me, to myself, and believe them just as much. I guess that’s my trust issue with the men. I will have to listen again to be able to discuss more thoughtsies, but I am so NOPE NO FEELINGS right now that I have to wait for a different moment. But the kisssesssss drove me crazy in the most beautiful way I will never EVER never ever EVER, say no to the kisses. Especially when they travel too. 🫠🫠🫠

Venusinaphrodite_

So I’ve been so irritable today. Which I know means I’m going through the motions. Yesterday was such a huge release that now I’m dealing with the residual emotions that are coming to the surface. It’s the part of the healing process that doesn’t always get talked about I think. It’s not pretty. I caught myself being snappy. Had trouble focusing. Had trouble sleeping. Extra teary. I couldn’t just sit in my house today. I felt ready to crawl out of my skin. Healing is uncomfortable. It’s not always easy. And I know a lot of it is me working through my ptsd and flight or fight triggered by such a huge emotion. Letting myself move forward from sadness. Then through the anger and resentment. I was furious at everything. I just wanted to hurl a plate at a wall. I wanted to lash out. Anything to expel that energy. I gave myself space to feel it all. And then finally moved into forgiving myself for ever believing anything negative anyone ever said and taking accountability in my part in it. Now I just need some sleep and to cuddle. Like can I just borrow Matt’s lap, bury my face in the crook of his neck and be held while he rubs my back. Today is hard but tomorrow will be a little less. And then less the day after that. And I’m thankful for the process. It’s good. And it’s healthy. But it’s hard. It makes me that much happier to have a space like this to be safe in. And to vent to. And when I’m here I don’t feel quite so alone in the process. I think this was the last little bit I needed to let go of because now I feel better😅 I just keep getting more and more transparent so maybe I’ll regret letting that out but oh well lol

Venusinaphrodite_

Katie if you don’t get out of my subconscious. I was literally boo-hooing this morning because I was like Kelsey you have to say this to yourself because it’s 4 a.m. and you’re alone🙈

Katie

💜💜💜💜💜 I get this SO much. I did this Friday, on a different subject. It’s the hangover affect. But first of all, be so fucking proud of you for doing the work. It is SO hard, messy, uncomfortable and not in the ways we like. (😘) I have started to try and think of this process in a new way and I just share it for the sake of doing so, but it’s using the word grieving when I’m going through these healing processes, specifically identifying grieving the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. All the things that make it difficult to move on. I think there is power in not just facing the emotions that have been suppressed and just feeling them in general which is hard a freaking nough… but also taking a moment to grieve what didn’t happen, because when we grieve we come closer to a place of acceptance of what has happened or not…and then we can then find ways to appreciate how we have gotten to where we are … and where to go.

Katie

Ugh. That’s so fucking real… ignore my thesis in the comments of your comment. And just take care of Kels. She really is hot as fuck, I’m just saying. But yeah. I am not feeling as articulate as I normally do. This is such an uncharted topic for me. So blah blah blah blah blah 😂😂😂😂 I hope that helps.

Venusinaphrodite_

It’s SO messy. Like with all the tools I’ve utilized and this shit still sucks. It’s definitely the feelings hangover! I’m exhausted. It had to happen because my comfort zone wasn’t comfortable anymore. Everything gets unpacked all at once. So it’s understandable that the proverbial clothes strewn everywhere would leave a mess. But now they’re folded and organized. But man did I throw a tantrum while doing it🤣

Venusinaphrodite_

Actually it really does help lol my brain is absolute mush too🤣 I think it’s just like you said, we have to talk to ourselves as kindly as Matt does. But I’m also more then happy to have him do it for us lol

Dawn

But Kate, what sweet sweet death it would be

Venusinaphrodite_

Hey my love! I will definitely take you up on that💜 I’ve sent myself to bed lol🤣😘

Ann

OMG Patreon LEAVE MY POSTS ALONE 🤬

Katie

ANN STOP BEING SO NAUGHTY AND CONTROVERSIAL 🤭😭😑

Titania

Done in Madison and no damage. It's eerily calm.

ਏFallaਓ

My dear V, Part of the healing process hurts because you have to mold your mind, heart and soul, destroying the bad things that they made you believe. Our mind is like a city that is built slowly. Brick by brick. We make our city with affection, collecting the love of others and our own, caring too, the beautiful experiences we live as well. But then we have society, our negative experiences, traumas and it's like this city is attacked and suddenly a missile falls on the most important bridge, the one that allows you access back and forth within youserlf. Rebuilding this bridge that was once the way for you to find yourself is hard, because first you need to understand that the hole that is there doesn't concern you, and then understand that they only attacked your bridge because the person/anything has their own demons. to fight. It hurts to embrace, doesn't it, babe girl? It hurts to look at your emotions and know why they are there. It hurts to understand that these emotions are not always beautiful, that we are human beings who can feel fury and resentment, that we are hurt by small and big things, that we are capable of having the same energy to love as to hate what happened to us. But let me tell you something, anger is a wonderful reaction. It's your emotion telling you that you don't accept it - whether it's the thought that's been haunting you or what they've done to you. It's your emotion asking you to react and get out of the place that bothers you, even if it's your own mind and your memories. So I'll tell you what my therapist told me when I was struggling with my emotions - I still struggle, but I always remember. "Emotions are thermometers that indicate what is right and also what is wrong." You don't have to be afraid of them and you did exactly what you had to do, you understood your need to hug and love yourself in that moment. I'm sure this process of touching our bridge is painful, because every time I visit mine, there's a little more concrete to put in and more paths to draw, but I know I'm doing it for myself. And what I wanted to tell you with all of this is that you accessing this emotional storm is transcendent in the healing factor, yes. It's horrible, but it will make you lighter to accept your flaws and qualities, for you to dance even during chaos and for you to understand that emotional outbursts are only there because you are alive, breathing a little self-love and understanding yourself, like no one ever could. I'm so proud to see you in this process. I felt destroyed when I accessed my scariest emotions and I always feel on my knees to myself when I access them again. But it feels good after, I promise. Because when you feel it, you fly. I'm here to welcome you to your landing. Always, Falla. 💜

Ann

Reposting. Not sure why other than to irritate whoever decided my post needed to be deleted. I am not very good at immersing myself in the audios. Working on it but I generally approach the audios as a voyeur or just detached. this audio was powerful and I needed to be part of it, which is why I transcribed it and wrote it as a letter to me from Matthew. I could immerse in the written word. I have been thinking about the audio a lot and while it brought up ugh with s3x in the past, I felt sad but not like all triggered. The interesting thing that it did trigger was my intelligence. I found myself crying about that not the s3x. Why? I think the message of the audio can be broader than just s3x. It speaks to insecurity. for me being told or having it be implied that I am not smart or intelligent or I am dumb or whatever plus other stuff led to my belief that I was not smart. (Frigid not good in bed) Recently I petitioned my university for a new committee chair person because mine has spent the last couple of years not doing his job. Wasting my time. Wasting my money. Why didn't I advocate for myself? Maybe his action or lack of fed into my insecurities and he was important to me in my program. (Dumb a$$ partner). I did finally advocate and I have a new chair person who is providing me with feedback and gentle pressure to get things done. (Matthew and s3x). What if I am not smart enough to finish my program. What If I can't get it done. What If I disappoint my new chair? With the audio initially, yes I thought about all the dumb rear-ends of my past my ex husband included. My s3x life right now is off the charts. (Thanks Matthew and Lovense) But it isn't that important to me I guess as it registered as meh. I was sad that's it. Does this make sense? Insecurity whatever caused it and whoever fed it sadly often are powerful in our minds. This audio spoke to me. That is why I needed to read it. So I could take the message and read the words to have them be for me. To understand them. I will draw strength form Matthews words. Whew what a day. For the record I had a neuropsychological exam about 10 years after my brain injury to make sure there was no lasting damage (parents deemed me healed when i got out of the hospital and didn't want to speak of it so no follow up anything) the results of the eval made me laugh and wonder what the heck. I had to reevaluate the way I thought about my intellectual abilities. Happily I am wicked smart. Not ego speaking just test scores which are suspect in my mind but....I supposedly am very smart. This is not the narrative I have subscribed to most if not all of my life. Anyway the idea that I am very intelligent did not get rid of the insecurities at all. I battle them daily. I suspect that if the audio was real it would be a battle Matthew would be helping "her" fight for a long time. he said he would fight for her. So sweet. I feel reenergized to continue to fight my battle What a multipurpose audio Matthew. Thank you. PS yes it is an ongoing battle but gains are made. ☺

Ann

Gosh this time it wasn't controversial really nor naughty. If we have to be over 18 to be here we should be able to write the word SEX without having to worry about it getting deleted. I was way more eloquent the first time I wrote the post. Sigh

Ann

Someone may I please have a glass of wine even though I live alone? I need permission. You know alcoholic parent and the slippery slope of addiction that I am deathly afraid of. However I really want a glass of wine and I never ever drink alone. I hardly drink so it should be ok. I mean I am of age well hahahahahaha so above way high above what would be considered of age. But school is out and I am tired and just want 1 glass of wine. I only bought one of those tiny mini bottles. I swear! I am just messy.

Venusinaphrodite_

Falla😭💜 I really do feel so much better! It was really cathartic because they’re all emotions I wasn’t “allowed” to feel or to express. The one time I did after everything I was told I was weak. Which I’ve never been, nor have any of us. I think yesterday was the ending of a really hard week. I had to advocate to two different organizations this week about what the boys and I went through. They were so great at hearing me. But I had to relive everything by doing so. And my mantra was “whatever it takes.” So a big part of the fight stemmed from there. And there was this big moment in the convo where I broke down and said “I made a mistake.” And owning that feeling was scary. But I understand why I made the choices I did in the position I was in. It’s so strange how something that was so all-consuming at one point is so small now. All the feelings had to be let go because I’m in a space now where it’s a part of my story but not the only part of my story. It felt good in a sense to not be ok with it. To not have it all together and be upset and sad and messy and chaotic. They’re all emotions. And I can still experience all of them as uncomfortable as they can be at times. So taking in Matt’s words was the match to the flame. It built up this roar like he’s right, I get that to. I deserve that too. I can be in my body and my head and they both be safe. As hard as my ex tried to kill me, I’m not dead inside. He didn’t extinguish me. The fact that we’ve been through what we have and we can listen to Matt’s audios and still feel, and still love and still have hope and still write so we can give others hope, is a testament to the strength we have. So we’ll fly together❤️

Venusinaphrodite_

One glass of wine is fine! Remind yourself you’re not escaping into it. You’re relaxing and enjoying the activity. It’s not to wash away anything. I also tell myself that my parents addiction stemmed from them wanting to escape their situation and it took more and more to do that. I think a glass of wine to simply enjoy your glass of wine is a splendid idea!🤗

Ann

Thank you. One only. 😊

Venusinaphrodite_

Lovebug I think you’re incredibly intelligent! I think having those negative voices in our ears for so long can feed into imposter syndrome for us in one aspect or another. It’s such a huge thing that you advocated for yourself! Especially when you’re working to ignore those little insidious thoughts. I also really like that you’re taking ownership by saying “I am”. I know it’s an uphill battle some days but look at you go❤️

Ann

I couldn't find it but I think that you Kels wrote that you came for O's and got way more. I am not sure exactly how you said it but it struck a chord with me and when I moved my mind away from the s3x aspect it struck me that this audio speaks more than just s3x. It makes me chuckle to think that a s3x audio triggered my intelligence insecurities. LOL. 😂🤦‍♀️ Thank you for your words. They too are powerful.

Ann

It is so delicious. I am supposed to go to Seattle in the early morning hours but I have so much to do and it isn't happening so I will leave for Seattle in the mid morning hours. ☺ I am flexible. Cheers!

Ann

I love you Kels and I love that you continue to grow and to become more and more transparent showing us all your absolute beauty. You are alive. You are strong. You are a Goddess. You are your very own Goddess one that it unique to you and all that makes you YOU. We are so lucky to have you here with us. You are a gift. ❤

Venusinaphrodite_

Oh yeah!!!! When I was taking to Agatha🤣🤣🤣 we get orgasms but we have to work for them. The price of a good sex life🥲😂😂😂 Matt just dove right into the deep end of all our emotions🙈 An Olympic swan dive🔟🔟🔟🤣

Venusinaphrodite_

Exactly flexibility is key! When life gives you lemons you set them on the kitchen counter and grab a glass of wine hahahaha

Lavender Belle (Jenn)

Dee thanks! I actually did post about seeing Macbeth just the post seemed like a bunch of self pity so I deleted it. And then the next one I deleted. This one stuck lol. But yes I’m super excited, I’m a big geek when it comes to Shakespeare! And 50 is the new 40 right?

Ann

Don't know if I want to hug Matthew or punch him on the arm. Of course not the previously injured shoulder area but still! My therapist is loving it though. Sigh

Venusinaphrodite_

Ann I’m pretty sure that was the equivalent of you calling ME lovebug and now I’m emotional again😭 that means so much to me and I’m the one lucky to have all of you❤️

Venusinaphrodite_

What if we punch him then massage the area. A love tap really lol Matt is gonna come by therapist recommendation now🙈 exposure therapy

Ann

Thank Dee I know but you know this is the first year that I actually have had a tiny bit of alcohol. My birthday lol when I was chatting people up here. OMG. I am trying to allow myself to be a grown up. You know I have a confession to make....ssshhhhh.....I have pop tarts in my cupboard. I know shameful. Don't tell my family. OMG Some day I will grow up.

Ann

Strawberry of course. Either that or brown sugar cinnamon. 😂

Ann

Nice. It feels good when you call me Lovebug so I am happy you feel good too.

Venusinaphrodite_

Brown sugar cinnamon! And I always go for the center of the poptart lol

Ann

I could massage his butt cheeks. I call dibs. They really are bitable. Yep Ann should not drink alcohol and think of Matthews nether region in any way shape or form. Drat and my daughter is coming to stay until they get her locks changed and that puts a hold on toys. Or does it? Hmm what is my stealthiest toy and how many blankets do I need to cover myself with to mute out the thrill?

Ann

Eat around the edge then you have the whole pop tart goodness waiting for you.

Venusinaphrodite_

So far I need 3 and the fan on🤣 I feel like this calls for research!

Venusinaphrodite_

I actually like the edges now but I remember as a kid I was like NO😤 I can’t hear edge and not think naughty thoughts🙈

Ann

Research! I am on it. Count on me to get the data!

Ann

#KelseyandKatiearetheBest

Katie

I love that metaphor Daphne. You could take it a step further and ask how do we ever know if we are seeing color in the same ways as others unless talk about it. What if my green is your orange and etc… perception is such an important variable to account for especially its bias. Loveeee it!

Katie

Secrete 👏👏👏💜💜💜

Katie

Wow. Matt. 🤭 You adorable overachieving nerd… and a man who knows how to milk (heh) an opportunity. In my next life I will def go try diff classes I’m not enrolled in to find what I like. I don’t think I’ll submit shit for a grade 😂 but I’ll go learn some things. I have so many questions now 🤣🤣🤣! Nice work Georgette! 👏👏👏

Katja

Sweet sweet Falla 🤗🤗🤗😘

Katie

Mmmmhhhhhmmmmm. & the people say Amen. That was really amazing Kris. You have a very intentional and impactful way with words.

Katie

I am pretty sure you will get the sentiment here — but I think this one of your shortest comments, yet I feel more realness right in front of me than ever. I thought of YOU specifically when I saw this title and I hope you can take your time with this and manifest the self love to heal all those little tears in your heart. (Maybe I try too 🤷‍♀️) Your makeup is always on point, you style… epic but YOU my dear, are BEAUTIFUL. And can you remind Falla of that for me later? Thanks 😘

Katie

And all I can hear in my head now is “ooo baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad.” 🤭💃🏼

Katie

“I was either too much or not enough” YO. Everybody’s just a freaking Goldilocks right?! (And I say in that tone to reassure you…I relate) The lifelong wound. Yeah wow. It’s such a process to turn our pain into power. I am learning a lot about autonomy and choices right now. There is nothing easy about how we survive through this type of pain, but remember to give yourself the praise you deserve for taking the pain and using it to grow. Ughhh it’s such a difficult fucking thing to do. 💜👏💜🫂

Katie

Okay so I commented below before I read this… and I wrote a lot an deleted it because it felt unnecessary. Straight up, what you have been through — traumatizing. 1000% And trauma puts us in a survival mode and we numb and disassociate and do whatever we can to get by. Feeling THIS, what you have described, you need a week in freaking Oahu to celebrate that bravery and commitment to Kels. SHIT. I can just feel it through the screen, like the AHHH, UGHH! Anyway. Just trying to be your hype girl for a second. I just love you. Have I made any sense? Idk. I need a drink. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

Katie

KELLY! I love that your relationship has a one dick joke a day allowance. I just think it’s one of the cutest, funniest, loveliest things. 😂🥰🥰🥰🥰

Katie

🐳🐳🐳🥞🥞🥞 Whose ready to carb-o-load!?

Katie

You can take more shots faster without the salt lime and body. Not as fun but more efficient 😂😂😂 Fuck, where is a margarita when you need one.

Katie

Y’all talking about my BFF Slo Mo?! God, every time is the best time with that cinematic masterpiece. If I could have a relationship with 7 minutes of screen time. Mmmmmmmmm….. (Someone ma’am this is a Wendy’s me)

Katie

Thanks 💜 it was nice to remember what fun felt like! (Woahh the effort though🤭😂😂) Is it crazy that it means a lot to me that is meant a lot to you? 🥰 I have made stops at both locales, multiple times… you know it’s pretty wet in Seattle.

Katie

The needs to go on a coffee mug.

Katie

JENN! Happy Birthday to you!!! I love getaway birthdays. I hope you just do you 😉 and enjoy all you can! Age is just a number. Yes, Matt sets the bar very high, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a Matt adjacent of any age who wouldn’t do anything to try and reach it. 🥰😍

Katie

Kelllly 💜💜💜 I so agree with everyone! You and your realness and the beauty of your relationship! I just love it. Ann- wear it under your shirt like Super - Ann 🤓🥰🥰🥰

ਏFallaਓ

I love it when you open parts of your heart to us, Ann. It's always an amazing view from here. I wanted to say that you are smart, determined, hardworking and an inspiration to me. Whenever I think I'm tired from working 18h a day, I remember you saying 'Falla, you can do it!' So I want to be the person who tells you that about your emotional as well. It's weird to feel vulnerable and drowned into Matt's audio sometimes, but believe me, it's an unforgettable and life-changing healing process. Also, you know. ❤️

darbyofshire

Kate, thank god SOMEONE is taking care of us 😂

darbyofshire

Matthew, it has been a while - life has been. . . a lot. But I'm always lurking and enjoying and thankful for you! ~Darby❤️

Katie

Patti, you can always haiku and personal essay… there are no rules 😘 Unfurls is such a good word!

Katie

100 points to Gryffindor for the effort involved in translating this to text. I was wondering how this was going to go over for Ann. It sounds like it went well. 💜💜

Katie

Soooo hotttttt whyyyy ughhhh. 😭

Katie

Pum pum 🤭👏

Ann

Katie. No house points needed. It was all AI. Reading does it for me more than any other thing. I had to read this one. The cool thing is that as I read it I heard Matthews voice in my head and that was perfect #KatiefortheWINwithHPreference #KatieIsSoSpecial😘 I like summer of Ann. Sounds awesome.

Katie

HAPPPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!

Katie

YAY!!!! Cheers to the summer of Ann!!! 💜

Katie

It’s not just the sentiment but the delivery of this that I love so much. It feels so comforting and relatable to my brain like okay others know the thought mess and trying to rationalize and avoiding the feel and using the tools. ALL THE THINGS. I’m glad you shared this. 💜💜💜💜

Katie

& let us find strength in calling out the bullshit without aggression but with conversation and resolution (in so many things) 💜💜💜

Daphne

Katie, you cutie! By all means - the metaphor can probably be stretched well beyond. Just like color which is something I’ve been studying for the past few years. The range of colors is finite, but only barely. And the human eye sees but a small percentage of available hues. No doubt, the same is true for words. 🤔🥰

Katie

I’m going to Lake MI in a couple weeks… I will wave 🥰😘

Dawn

Yesss! Katie, may I ask which area? I may be there as well (either Racine or Green Bay area)

Daphne

Tracie, you made me laugh! (And why did your comment only JUST show up??) I'm finding weird lag time between posts and comments, also laptop works well, iPad, not so much. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔

Katie

FALLLLLLAAAA . HOLY METAPHOR. Kels- Ann said it perfectly. Goddess. That’s you babe! Also, just a thought to add to the metaphor… what if you don’t have to build the bridge back… what if it’s a zip line, or rocks that you can take a different path on every time you walk it. I only say this because I have OVERBUILT my city. The bridges that I built were never leading to myself, just another false narrative. So this time… I’m going bridge-less. Letting time, a lot of work and breathing to lead me to the plot of me where I need to build. If your bridge lead you to that plot already then yes rebuild, but there is also power in not doing that anymore (because I have rebuilt so many bridges to nowhere) that sometimes it’s okay to just sit and enjoy the view. 💜🥰 You ladies are so brilliant. It’s “shit” I don’t have a better word of enthusiasm 😂 like this that sets my soul on fire. A few words from time to time have changed my life. It’s a beautiful thing.

Katie

Ann- your interpretation is so powerful and the explanation of how writing it put you into it because you can immerse yourself in text 🤯😮 WOW. I have been told I am an “intellectualizer” if that’s even a word lol. But really just trying to draw logical rational meaning out of everything. Problem solving answering questions. It’s been my ultimate survival guide and when I am informed that I need to feel instead of think… no suggestion has ever felt more threatening. Like how can I slap this therapist woman through the phone 😂😂😂. And it’s because it’s something I value to much it is a structure of webs and slides and ladders for my brain to process and anticipate quicker to attempt to reduce fear, anxiety, and find control. So I totally get what you are saying!!! There are some things more demeaning than being told that I’m bad in bed… cause like I’ve said before… I’m the best fuck I’ve ever had. So no worries there. But yeah, sorry to ramble on — but whoa. That just struck a cord with me I wasn’t even aware of. You are so brilliant, capable, thoughtful. The insecurity is just what it is. It’s not you, it’s not me. We will figure out how to live without it soon enough 🥰😘

Katie

Ann, I bought 2 boxes of pop tarts at Aldi a few weeks ago (they are long gone) and I thought of you!!! Don’t hide them or yourself girl. There is much more concern out there than a pop tart!!! 😘 I very VERY rarely drink alone, I am very much just a social drinker (at times a social binger) for the same reason you have expressed. Try to give yourself permission from time to time to do what you want. Im learning it’s not so much about the process of “growing up” 😋 but being able to trust yourself to make the best choices for yourself. No one knows you better than you. 😘

Venusinaphrodite_

Katie you guys are too nice😭 I think that’s such a great thing to combine with what Falla said! I think there’s been a lot bridges that weren’t healthy ones. Even more-so secret passages so only I would know the way back. It’s like having a hiking trail that’s been closed. I’m still my favorite place to hike that trail is just unavailable for me to use to access me. There’s no point anymore in trying to use it but it stands as a reminder of an old way. Ok as dumb as it’s gonna sound I think where I’m at is like the scene in frozen where Elsa says open the gates (also after this convo that movie just got so much deeper lol) I want to be able to navigate those bridges for myself but also allow others to walk them as well. There’s lots of me that I have rebuilt. And there’s lots where I’m learning how to fortify and make things stronger. And “shit” is perfect🤣🤣🤣

Katie

I will be in Grand Haven for like a day lol but it will be a nice day.

Katie

… 😐 what is H Preference? 🤭😅

Venusinaphrodite_

I love you so much Katie!!!! We can have a drink together!🫂🥂 I’m learning but learning is still progress so forwards we go! Also excuse me for inundating you with an tsunami of emotional trauma to wade through

Katie

So I have said a lot of “serious” things and I need to balance that out by letting you all know that no matter what fabric shirt I am wearing.. there is a certain point where my tits meet the laminated edge of my desk at work … and it makes a squeaky sound. It’s so annoying.

Ann

Dee's response seems to have been nabbed by the Patreon gremlins or my computer just didn't refresh when I asked it to. HP reference. Harry Potter Reference. 😁

Ann

Can you make music. tap your pencil or pen then add boob squeak then open a drawer. tap tap tap squeak squeak slam. tap tap tap squeak squeak slam. Yes! I can already feel the beat.

Ann

Falla Yes I do know and I am so lucky and happy. Katie Thank you. You are so right...insecurity is what it is. As time goes my imposter syndrome doesn't happen nearly as often as before but it is more intense when it does. This tells me that I am doing fine. This isn't the first audio I have transcribed part of. Nothing gets me off like words. You know when you wrote about structure of webs and slides and ladders in your brain I just thought about how absolutely beautiful it is that we are all so unique. How we process, see the world, feel, and even look. Its awesome and really something I should remind myself daily because I should practice what I preach and embrace myself. Ugh You know I am going to just stop now before I go down a rabbit hole of body positivity and more stuff. Also I am also the best Fuck I have ever had!

Katie

oh my goshhhh! Hahahahaha that’s so funny! I see it now HP reference 😂😂😂

Katie

One thing at a time Ann! One thing at a time. 😂😂😂

Katie

Inundate me you have not! More like the giant bucket at a water park, no tsunami. Progress is progress 💜 and what would life be with nothing left to learn 😘 But yes let’s drink!

Katja

Oprosti što mi je trebalo tako dugo odgovorim! Imam radove u kući pa eto, baustelski 😂 hvala ti puno! Bolje mi je, jedino što još kašljem, ali ajde prolazi. Ali eto mjesečnica 😔 sve čovjeka snađe u isto vrijeme hahaha. Nadam se da si ti dobro i da uživaš na balkonu!

Katja

Katie, it's also comforting for me to have someone to relate to 🤗 this is a very very vulnerable side of me that fills me with anxiety just to talk about it (the attachment style, I mean) since it's not pretty at all, and I get so scared thinking will people now hate me or see me as messed up as I feel about myself in those moments... I'm sending you all my love, Mittens ❤️❤️❤️

Venusinaphrodite_

💜💜💜💜🥰 I haven’t been out since 2020😅

ਏFallaਓ

I noticed that are moments when I read all your comments and I do have a lot to say, but there are moments that words aren't enough and my mind is like 'Oh fuuuuck.' Really, Belles. HOLY FVCK. This group is something else, isn't it? You ALL are something else. I can't believe that this place actually exists sometimes. It blows my mind. Oh, Matt. Thank you for creating this space. I'm surrounded by people that I wish I had a chance to share a drink, and dance and laugh and cry... But you all are so real to me that the physical presence is not actually needed. I already have you all in my heart and I think this is the most precious thing about us. 💜

ਏFallaਓ

Small boobs squad. Katie, can you gimme some? 💃😝

ਏFallaਓ

That's just so precious to read, you girls. My God. I think we all have the same heart, which is so big, that the universe couldn't allow it. So it was divide and now... we found our pieces and we are bulding our bridges into something beautiful 💜 https://ibb.co/BPZ8Rb6

Katie

What the hell Falla 😭😭😭💦🌊🐠🐟🏊‍♀️🏄‍♀️

Katie

Ohhhh my god Kels, Ann 😅 that is actually something I would do but haven’t yet 👏. Mona why are you so cute.? Falla girlllll 😂 Do you know how much I romanticize my beautiful 36B boobs that I didn’t appreciate. What I would give to go buy a super sexy push up bra right now without the possibility of putting myself or someone else in harms way 😅😅😅. They have their perks 👏👏👏 at time but please appreciate what you have. I can’t even buy v necks anymore cause I get sick of my own cleavage in my peripheral. Anyway. Long winded Katie on these comments 😂 I’ll see what kind of music I can make though 🤭

ਏFallaਓ

Your precious 🌰🌰 are perfect, Katie!!! 😝 Even if they don't allow you to use a necklace. 😁 I actually feel insecure as fuck about my 🤏🏼🌰🌰 because I don't feel sexy when I put some cleavage, you know? There is a space between them and it never had that beautiful and sexy V in between. 🤣 But I think we are never satisfied about ourselves entirely, right? 😝

ਏFallaਓ

Dear Kate, I love you more. 💜

Titania

Matthew- I've been listening to this for the past couple of days, and every time tears prick my eyes. For me, it's not that I had someone tell me I wasn't good enough, it's the level of attunement you are showing. To have someone pick up on signals like that, to call a time out, to talk things through…that's next level. And then the assertions ("I'm going to love you harder…") and the removal of expectations: 🥰🥰🥰 That level of attunement isn't common even in rock solid long term relationships (or maybe I just keep picking ADHDers with wandering focus? F me and my type 🙄), and there's a bit of personal mourning here that much of that compassion and security has to be self-generated (like Katie and Kelsey mentioned). Your delivery here is the closest to straight conversation I think you've done yet. There's no seduction, no persuasion. The furthest from "fantasy," and yet the closest, because what do I actually want, in the end? Someone who sees me, someone who doesn't play games at the fundamental level. Well done. Heartstrings plucked. 💙💚💛

Titania

And f*ck covid. I finally caught it.

Titania

Hugs, Kelsey! Little bit by little bit we heal. 💙💚💛

Titania

I just noticed the photos in the Turret out your window, Matt. What a view! Thank you for sharing.

Venusinaphrodite_

Titania thank you my love!!! Every day it’s a little more❤️❤️❤️

Ann

Titania I am so sorry you caught covid. My son did this week as well and I am not able to go to Seattle because I am waiting to see if I also caught it since I was with him right after he was exposed. Darn stupid virus. Also I want to note that you are spot on with the attunement. Actually you are spot on with it all. It was a good one. Feel better soon and thank you for sharing your thoughts. 💜🤗

Titania

Ann - I hope your son recovers quickly and you don't catch it.

Ann

You know my mom always had me getting these bras with cup size D and would make fun of me about how babies loved to fall asleep with me because of my boobs I guess since they were so big. Well one year my family all went to the mall and my sister and I went and got ourselves measured for new bras. Ugh what a fun experience. OMG we laughed so hard. I am a B cup. Sadly was (easier now) to find a B cup when your torso is 42-46. It was almost impossible and the ones I found were so not sexy and felt like I was wearing armour. Luckily things are changing. It still isn't super easy but way better than before. When my sister and I got in the car with the rest of the family we laughed and my sister told everyone my real size and my dad had to pull over because he was laughing so hard. It was one of those times when you laugh because it is funny but you think that maybe you should be slightly offended or hurt because it is that funny. Mostly it is a funny memory for me. My bras fit way better now than they did before. 😁

Linda

Today in my hormonal state of mind I had a flood of emotions I long tucked away surface. Feelings of resentment, shame, broken heart, losses, all safely tuck away in a box, a box buried long ago. But today that box was sitting in front of me, tempting me to open it. I felt out of control, self doubt started to creep in.... am I a good wife, mother, friend...sigh.  I sat at my kitchen table staring out the window, the box tempting me to open it, I look up to lock eyes with my husband,  the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen, he walks toward me, grabs my neck leans in and kisses me. The kiss takes my breath away, his gaze never leaves mine, he brushes his lips across mine and whispers, "don't baby, don't go there." I blink a tear, he catches it with a kiss. All my self doubts "am I good wife, mother, sibling, friend?" disappear with his touch. I close my eyes and breath in his scent remembering he gave me a reason to love and to be a woman....fearless, strong, free spirited, loving, kind, gracious. We all need someone who is there to give us a reason. In reading the beautiful, kind, loving post in this special place created by Matthew, the support from all over the world, is beautiful, just beautiful🤗

Ann

Got to love the hormonal states of mind ( read with heavy sarcasm). You Linda are a very lucky woman. Sometimes the box or door just needs to stay closed. 💜🤗

Linda

Titania, yes I agree with you, this audio felt very real, pure and loving....my new favorite😊 Ugh to Covid, I tested positive Memorial weekend, that whole week was terrible. I hope you start feeling better my dear🤗

Katie

Wowww!!! 🥹🥹🥹 Mr. Linda is wonderful! I love the idea of knowing someone that well and someone knowing me! I’m so sorry you had one of those days… but thank you for sharing this 💜

Katie

FALLA!!! 😭 How did you know!? I used to love wearing necklaces all the time, like it was my favorite! Now any necklace looks like a choker (not in a fun way) or it gets stuck in the cleave or just doesn’t look like a necklace at all. It’s such a bummer!!! And girl… you have that space because your heart is always trying to escape from your body. After enough tries your tits were like FINE we will make some room 😘😘😘 (and you are right, if we look hard enough, we will always find “flaws” that’s when it’s time to find a new hobby lol) ANN! Oh my gosh! 🤭 I am glad that is a good memory for you and knowledge is power for sure! Ugh I bet it was hard to find bras but I’m glad it’s easier now. And what’s ridiculous is I’m sure there is a brand where you are an A cup and a brand where you are a C because whyyyy would capitalism care about standardizing sizes across brands when you can confuse and manipulate the customer depending on your target audience. Drives me crazy. Sophomore year of college, depression was hitting weight was gaining. I was a VS slut in HS and needed to find some news bras so I decided to get measured while I was there (and yeah I have heard that they don’t “measure correctly” but idk all the facts) ANYWAY, I was wearing a 38 C which was the highest band size they carried and she measured me as a 46 C!!!!!!!!!!! I was like how is that possible! So yeah went somewhere else, and yeah sure as shit, what I though was sexy was like…. Ohhhhhhhh this doesn’t fit 😭😂

Katie

Imma just take a moment to focus on me for a second cause the fact that you gave me a “footnote” just made my day 😅😘😭 Yeah idk if I could define anything more intimate as being known that well. 💜 Kick COVID’s ass. 💜💜💜💜

Katie

I forgot to mention this and idk if anybody else did and I missed it, but the sound of like - the head on the sheets nodding in agreement was so interesting. It felt so so so sweet and I think just reinforced the connection 💜

Katie

Too bad NZ is so ugly. Like geez, you know the sun sets everywhere right? 🙄🙄🙄 (😵🫢🤩😇🥹🥰) Also… you know you’re getting older when you first thought after that view is “WOW THE PROPERTY VALUE!” 😭😅😂

ਏFallaਓ

Thank you for writing your heart, but a little bit of our too! Oh, so beautifully written, Titania. I hope you get better soon. Let us know, ok? 💜

ਏFallaਓ

Girl, yes! And that audio has such a beautiful feeling about the connection and those little details fit together perfectly. Matthew narrated it as if it were a recent relationship, the romantic involvement, but the intimacy is light years ahead, as if they were connected in other ways - intellectually, emotionally - before physical intimacy. It's really beautiful! 💜

Venusinaphrodite_

Katie drop the mixtape I need a song for summer😂 and your description of Falla’s heart 💯 I always think huge boobs are just one aesthetic and their sole purpose it to crush me when laying on my back🤣 I really really like the open V with a smaller chest. Which also is to say that boobs don’t all naturally squish together. Bra shopping is intimidating because I never know what size. Like I’ll go for the one I’m wearing and it easily is the size of a hat lol but then I’ll pick one that fits the boobs but my sides/back are like let us bake these fresh rolls for you😂

ਏFallaਓ

My heart! Oh, my poor heart. This is just so beautiful, Linda! 💜💜💜💜💜

Venusinaphrodite_

Yess the communication! It’s the “I know you” aspect of it. If it had been anybody else the “I think we should stop” would have given me anxiety like there’s the proof I’m disappointing. But he did exactly what he said he would and not manipulate. He gave us the ability to decide without coercion. I also really appreciated the continued communication through sex because it created a tether to being in the moment and knowing myself my brain would have tried to wander off again lol

Venusinaphrodite_

Linda you live a romance novel and I love it! I also love that you guys share that connection! Can we please refer to him as Mr. Linda like Katie called him it’s giving me sex and the city vibes😂

Venusinaphrodite_

Do you ever catch yourself answering the questions🙈yes Falla the emotional depth they swim at while being in the shallow end time-wise is breathtaking!

D

Oh Matthew. After being in full hassmat gear at the hospital all week with my namesake, this was 😭😭😭 to come home to in all the best ways. I'm emotionally spent so I'll just say this... thank you for the hope and realization that THIS exists. A man who recognizes when you dissociate, who values your presence over the sex, and who can gently keep you there and in the moment until gentle is the last thing you need. Sometimes it's the artistry I appreciate most, sometimes the open for to explore the fantasy, sometimes the silliness and sexy fun, and sometimes the sheer work and craft of the layered sounds and world you bring alive. But ALWAYS it's the humanity. 😘💜💜💜🤗

Katja

Hvala na čestitkama 😂😂😂 ahhhh baustela zauvijek, uvijek neš. I da, hibridne riječi 😂 možda završi uskoro pa budeš i po danu mogla! Makar uživati tako navečer ima svoje čari zasigurno 🤩

Ann

Take care ❤️

Patti

💜💜💜💜

Linda

You lovelies are so sweet and yes, you can refer to my husband as Mr Linda, lol, I love it😊

Katie

#whenyouhavealotoffreetime #andnoonetotalkto #bychoice #wellmostlybychoice #conservationofenergy #andyouvealreadysharedtoomuch #futureselfforgiveme #yeahright #oversharingismyfuture

Ann

#notoversharing #sharingisok #normalizesharing #welldon'toversharetocompletestrangers #sharingwithpeoplewholoveyouisn'toversharing #youcancallitprocessing #loveyoukatie

Ann

In the spirit of oversharing (😉) I got my new toys this week. I ordered the satisfyer that was both the suction and with vibration. OMG I am in love. I also bought a couple of nipple things. They are like little plastic bulbs and you put on on and squeeze the bulb and it suctions them in place. So it doesn't hurt like clamps do. I am not a fan of clamps at all. Ow ow ow ow. I have only tried it once and it was weird. So jury is still out. It did make them stand up all nice an perky and honestly the more I fuss with the them the bigger they get. I don't mean they are massive or anything they are just more pronounced. I like it. It makes me happy. Haven't examined why nipping out makes me happy but it does. Not going to overthink it. One more thing I will say about the nips is that this past year they have become way more sensitive than before. Awakened you could call it. ALSO IT IS FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Wonder what we are going to get? I am also home this weekend sigh so I get to be not driving to Seattle when he drops it. Hurray! TTT+T Good times.

Katie

#whenAnnhashtagsme #🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Katie

Dear Mr. Linda, You are a lovely man. We have another one of those here too. It’s good to know there are other rare breeds in the wild. Maybe the species isn’t extinct after all. Thank you for loving our Linda. She brings us hope. Have a wonderful weekend! - Katie the Internet “stranger” (If you want to share 😂)

Katie

Innnna minnnnute immmma neeedaaa sentimennntallll man or woman to pump me up.

Ann

You are the most amazing woman so strong and beautiful and just all around lovely. Like that?

Stacey Reza

It’s the afterglow sounds you make that are just UGH !!! I have been utterly defeated you devil !!! Lol