THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO – episode 12 (Patreon)

THE WEREWOLF OF THE USO – episode 12

STEAM WHISTLE OF A BOAT

SOUND OF WAVES AND SEAGULLS

ANNOUNCER Set sail for Excitement
Set sail for intrigue
Adventure is on the Horizon!

ANNOUNCER The Werewolf of the USO, episode 12

SHIP’S BELL RINGS - 8 BELLS 8PM

ANNOUNCER Following two murders, Mac has gathered the pertinent members of the Rampart Pictures crew in the actresses’ cottage for the big reveal. With everyone in rapt attendance, Mac has been working away at the layers of mystery that envelop the death of Joanette Ferrell, one of the film’s lead actresses.

MUSIC SWELLS

SCENE 1. COTTAGE, CONTINUED

OSCAR Mac? Did you look at Joan—[cuts himself off, uncomfortable] Um… at the body?

MAC I did, Oscar. While I’m no doctor, I’ve seen enough bodies to be able to surmise she was strangled, probably in the course of a struggle.

OLIVIA Joanie? Struggling? She’s – she was – so petite. How could she put up a fight?

DUKE No offense, Olivia, but you’d be surprised what damage even a kid can do when life’s on the line.

BERTIE True, Duke. Mac, could she have done any harm to her attacker?

MAC I don’t think it was much of a struggle, Bertie. There was very little disarray in the trailer.

ANTOINE But she may ‘ave grabbed somezing from her attacker. I still say zere was a gold button clutched in ‘er dead ‘and.

WELLS [sobs]

DUKE [quiet, to Mac] What’s got that Wells feller all het up?

MAC [quiet] Later. [up] Joanette’s manner of death leaves us with another serious question. [pause, then sigh] Why wasn’t she killed by the same “wolf man” that attacked Duke last night?

MONTEITH What on earth makes you think she wasn’t?

ZORION [quiet] None are here.

DARLENE Are you saying there’s twokillers?

DUKE Say, that’s right! Wolf men hardly don’t ever strangle no one. [thinks] Oh, wait, but – Mac! If he was just a human, I mean if she was killed before moonrise, then that could still be the ticket!

ROSE Assuming the wolf man is real.

MAC Real or not, Rose, there is a "bite" on Duke’s arm. Even if we are assuming it’s a fake and was made by an appliance of some kind, then why did the killer not use the same attack on Joanette?

DUKE Maybe he left it in his kit.

MAC Try this – he wasn’t planning to kill anyone, at least not at the time he encountered Joanette. So if we assume that the encounter was an accident, why were they – Joanette and the murderer – both in or near the trailer?

MONTEITH What if there’s no connection at all? Stranger coincidences happen every day.

DARLENE They’re professionals, Monty!

BERTIE Not to worry, Miss Darlene, Mr. Monteith does have a point. But we prefer to first eliminate the possible, then examine the less probable.

OLIVIA Please tell us you have some kind of evidence to back this story up?

ROSE I’m sure Mac will work that out. For now, let’s just see where this goes.

OSCAR Do you know who it is?

MAC I have a pretty good idea.

OSCAR And how does it all fit in with the letters? And the thefts?

MAC We’re treating the thefts as a separate set of crimes. That’s the only way they make sense.

OSCAR They actually make sense?

MAC Let’s stay with the wolf man for now. Sherman was chased by it in the dark, and then ran into Duke. Sherman never saw it clearly, but Duke stood tough and caught a detail or two that can help us.

DUKE Nice to put me on the spot like that, Mac! It was blacker than the inside of a boot in that grove and I really didn’t see much of anything!

MAC But you managed to land a hit on it.

DUKE [pleased] Three times! And a kick.

MAC So you must have noticed a detail or two.

DUKE [considering] Say….

MAC  For instance, how tall was he? I’m tired of calling our attacker an “it”, and I’m reasonably sure it wasn’t one of the ladies.

DUKE No. No lady coulda took the walloping I handed out. ‘Cept maybe a lady wrestler I dated back in El Paso….

MAC All right, then. Bertie?

BERTIE Let’s try to jog your memory, Duke. Was this fellow your own height? Or perhaps taller, like Mac?

DUKE Hmm.

BERTIE A bit shorter, like myself?

DUKE Mmm. Nah. Definitely bulkier than you, too.

MAC Here. Stand up, Oscar.

OSCAR Me?

MAC Humor me.

SOUND OSCAR STANDS

DUKE But not that bulky. No offense feller. ’Sides, you’re a good “hand” shorter’n me.

OSCAR For once, I don’t mind.

SOUND SITS AGAIN

MAC Even Zorion is a bit shorter than you, for all his muscle.

DUKE I recall now I felt some heavy furry stuff when I hit this wolf feller, so this costume mighta made him a bit bigger, but ain’t no way to make him look much taller.

BERTIE And any sort of shoes that could grant a bit of height would be treacherous walking on sand, let alone running.

DUKE That heavy costume also could explain why I didn’t knock him down! It took some of the heat out of my punches, like armor.

MONTEITH I’m quite sure you can ascertain that I am not the sort of physical type for such roughhousing without any need for me to demonstrate.

OSCAR Plus, he’s practically as short as I am.

MONTEITH That is not for publication! I will take any such insult--

MAC [cutting him off] Good. Moving on. That leaves… Antoine?

ANTOINE I shall stand, oui, but I doubt myself zat anyzing seen in such darkness as you say is much of a clue.

MAC We’re not accusing anyone here. This is purely so we can jog Duke’s memory for more details.

DUKE A reenactment of the event, eh?

BERTIE Precisely. And I’m sure you want to help as much as possible, don’t you, M’sieu Cordonnier?

SOUND ANTOINE STANDS

ANTOINE C’est la. Is this what you are wanting?

SOUND DUKE STEPS CLOSER

DUKE Say, that is about right, fellers. He’s just a flea taller than I am.

MAC I hope you’ll be willing to help us in a demonstration, Mshur Antoine.

ANTOINE ‘Ow can I refuse?

MAC So Duke, take us through it.

DUKE Okay. It was dark, but I saw the critter about thisfar away.

SOUND HE MOVES A BIT CLOSER, SLAPS ANTOINE ON THE SHOULDER

ANTOINE [disdainful] You ‘it ‘im like zat? It is like a baby.

DUKE That was just me checking how close I need to be. So, then, the thing swung at me—

SOUND URGENT KNOCKING ON THE DOOR

DARLENE [gasp]

OLIVIA Oh dear!

ROSE What now?

EVERYONE [general surprise and annoyance]

MUSIC

SCENE 2. HOTEL LOBBY

SOUND SHUTTERS BEING SHUT, LATCHED, SOME DISTANT HAMMERING

SOUND DESK BELL

CARSON Hey, can I get some service, here?

SOUND SOMETHING CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR, ACROSS THE ROOM

SOUND DOOR OPENS, CLERK BUSTLES IN

MALKO We’re pretty busy. You were told about the—

CARSON Yeah, yeah, but they said morning. I need a cab now.

MALKO Ain't no one wants to—

CARSON Double pay, and I’m only going as far as Rampart Pictures’ site.

KAL [across the room] I’ll go. I could drive there with my eyes closed. But I will take double pay.

MUSIC

SCENE 3. COTTAGE, EVENING

SOUND KNOCKS, REPEATED

EVERYONE [surprised, shocked noises]

WELLS [a little hesitant] I’ll answer it, if I may?

MAC [annoyed but hiding it] Go on.

OSCAR [almost at the same time] Go ahead, Wells.

SOUND WELLS’ STEPS, DOOR OPENS

WELLS May I help you?

HAROLD [furious, but tightly controlled] Is Mr. Oscar in there? I need to have some words with him.

OSCAR Oh hell. [louder] We’re a little busy in here! See me tomorrow.

HAROLD No. Someone’s spreading word that I’m the one that messed up those first takes on the pier, and I’m not taking that lying down.

OSCAR This is not the time!

MAC [louder] Why don’t you step in and join us, Harold? The film problems are a part of what we’re hashing out here, and you deserve to be in on it.

OSCAR He’s not even a real member of my crew. He’s just a—

DUKE [cutting him off sharply] Mac says this feller’s coming in, he’s coming in.

HAROLD Why do I feel “volunteered”?

ROSE Mac wouldn’t do that!

BERTIE We’re only interested in uncovering the truth. As long as you prove to be innocent, you have nothing to fear from joining us.

HAROLD [muttered] Like I’ve never heard that before. [normal] Fine.

SOUND HE STEPS IN, DOOR SHUTS, HE STOPS BY THE DOOR

SOUND MOMENT OF SILENCE

WELLS Would you like to take a seat?

HAROLD I’ll just stand here by the door, Wells, if it’s all the same to you.

MAC That’s fine. Before we continue, just to make sure we’ve covered everything, I think we can agree Harold, here, is tall enough to rule out, without any further consideration?

DUKE That’s about as obvious as hips on a snake, Mac.

HAROLD That better be a good thing.

ROSE You’re not the wolf man.

ZORION [muttered] I am the only one.

MAC Now where were we, Duke?

DUKE I was here, and Antoine there was going to help with the reenactment.

BERTIE To help jog your memory.

DUKE Well, I do remember that, Bertie. Bring it on, Antoine.

ANTOINE  I ‘ave no intention to truly fight wiz you.

DUKE Oh I know. Just go through the motions, slowly, and I’ll try and picture the real event. You’d be s’prised how much this helps.

ANTOINE So I am to make a punch at you—

SOUND URGENT KNOCKING ON THE DOOR

EVERYONE [Less surprise than before]

MAC [exasperated] What?

OSCAR By all that’s holy, what is it now?

MUSIC

FAKE COMMERCIAL

ANNOUNCER Americans are no-nonsense purchasers. We like to know costs up front. That's why stores put price tags on their goods. We go shopping, do some basic addition, and voila! We have a budget.

SOUND MUSIC TURNS DARK

ANNOUNCER But what's the cost of negligence? The cost of not looking ahead to the future? A teaspoon of prevention can save you a demijohn of cure. The cost of travel without insurance can be significant.

SOUND MUSIC BRIGHTENS

ANNOUNCER That's why the Farwest Aid Society for Travelers F-A-S-T FAST! [fast effect] Is the best friend a traveler in the Pacific has. FAST [fast effect] offers the most reasonable travel insurance rates and is opening more offices every day to make sure you get where you're heading. Put your money where your life is, with FAST.

SCENE 4. COTTAGE, EVENING

SOUND KNOCKS, REPEATED

WELLS [clears his throat, then opens door]

SOUND DOOR OPENS

WELLS Yes? May I help you?

BUSTER Oscar in there?

WELLS He is, but--

BUSTER Bad weather alert coming in, Boss! No details yet, but there’s supposed to be some serious winds heading our way by morning.

OSCAR [loud] Get everything nailed down and packed in, Buster.  I’ll be out soon as I can.

BUSTER We’ve got everyone battening down the hatches. Just wanted to make sure you knew. Wind and rain can be a blockbuster in these parts! I’m off!

SOUND DOOR SHUTS

SOUND WIND SLOWLY SNEAKS IN A BIT UNDER EVERYTHING

OSCAR Mac, can we speed this up? I’m going to have to supervise pretty soon.

ANTOINE Let us finish ‘ere, and be moving on to more important zings.

DUKE Okay, feller, then before anyone else knocks, take that swing.

ANTOINE Very well. [noise of minimal effort] ugh.

DUKE Hmm, that’s about right, then I landed a poke on the thing’s kisser—[noise of fake effort] UGH!

ANTOINE Watch your fists, mon ammi, I ave no wish for real bruises.

DUKE [ignoring him] and then a jab under its arm on the solar plexus—

SOUND NOT A HEAVY HIT, BUT SOME NOISE OF A POKE

ANTOINE [screams in agony]

SOUND BODY DROPS

OSCAR What did you do???

DUKE [smug] Barely touched him. THIS time. But I shur enough left a bruise there last night, even through that heavy fur suit he was sporting.

ANTOINE [moaning]

MAC You never told us where Antoine’s accommodations are, Oscar.

BERTIE I wager he has some private space, perhaps a hotel room, and that no one has searched it?

ROSE Some place he might hide a wolf man costume?

OSCAR Antoine? But why would my own assistant director want to slow or shut down production? It’s gonna cost him his job, too.

BERTIE Perhaps he thought you would be forced to hand the reins over to him, and he could recover the credit he felt you had stolen.

OSCAR Stolen? Me? From Antoine?

MAC Well, not precisely. I suspect that Tony Shoemaker, however, has an axe to grind with you.

OLIVIA Shoemaker? That’s the author’s name on the original “Nightingales Three” script!

ROSE [realizing] And Tony is short for Anthony.

DARLENE So Antoine is Anthony? But his accent—

BERTIE Utterly false, I’m afraid.

ANTOINE [no accent, weak] That’s Hollywood for you.

SOUND GUN COCKED

SOUND ANTOINE GETS TO HIS FEET CAREFULLY

ANTOINE This gun, however is the real deal, “mes chairs”.

DARLENE [gasp]

OLIVIA But why?

ANTOINE I never intended to hurt Joanette, she just – [annoyed stammering] she j-just would n-not stay quiet!

WELLS [shriek of agony] NO! Joanette!

SOUND WELLS LAUNCHES HIMSELF AT ANTOINE

SOUND THUNK OF GUN ON WELLS’ HEAD

WELLS uh….

SOUND WELLS’ BODY DROPS TO FLOOR

ANTOINE Next one gets a bullet! Ungh!

SOUND HE KICKS WELLS

ANTOINE Everyone! Get your hands up!

OLIVIA [pleading] If it – Joanette – was an accident, surely you could have explained?

ROSE He doesn’t look like he’s in an explaining mood, Olivia.

ANTOINE There’s no way I plan to go down for life, and adding another murder won’t make any difference. So… you all move out of the way, and I’ll go out the back.

SOUND FEET SHUFFLE AS THEY MOVE

DUKE That gun only holds six bullets, son.

MAC You can’t kill all of us.

ANTOINE Oh, I know, but I’m a good enough shot to kill your girl, Rose, from here, so nobody better make a move until I’m well on my way.

BERTIE [worried] Mac?

MAC [pause, then blandly] Let him go.

DUKE [upset] What? Mac?

MAC Just go, Antoine. You won’t get far.

ANTOINE You may be surprised. Ow Revoor, pals.

SOUND HE MOVES INTO ANOTHER ROOM

SOUND INNER DOOR SHUTS, LOCKS

MAC [quiet] What’s that room?

DARLENE Mine. He’ll go out the full length window onto the lanai.

DUKE [urgent] We going after him? I could circle round--

MAC Don’t take the chance. After all, this is an island, Duke, and there’s limited places he can hide, especially with the bad weather closing in.

OSCAR The alert! We gotta get to work.

HAROLD [ahem]

MAC Yes, Harold?

HAROLD So you found the killer, and whatever else he did, but what about the film? You said you had some answers?

MAC Right. Oscar will make sure that any concern about your handling of the film will be cleared. After all, it was stolen, not damaged. Right Oscar?

OSCAR How did you know? I made sure—

ROSE Mac figures out pretty much anything that happens, one way or another.

BERTIE Simple logic, anyway – while film stock is going missing, perhaps the thieves grab a can that’s been used instead of one that’s fresh. No one on set should be handed any blame for that.

OSCAR Fine. By the way… You hinted that you had that little problem resolved as well?

MAC We’re working with the authorities—

BERTIE [chiming in] And we fully intend to keep Rampart out of the line of fire--

DUKE But it it’s gonna take another day or two, particularly with a gullywasher rolling in.

MUSIC

SCENE 5. RAMPART’S GATE

SOUND WINDY, BUT NOT RAINING YET

SOUND CAR STOPS

SOUND CAR DOOR OPENS, CARSON GETS OUT

CARSON [talking loud over the wind, into the car] Wait here – I bet we’ll all be leaving soon.

KAL Sure thing. We got time.

SOUND SOMEONE RUNS PAST

ANTOINE [breathing heavily] Out of my way!

KAL [worried] Um, you need a cab, bruddah?

ANTOINE Back off!

SOUND COCKING OF GUN

KAL No problem, brah.

SOUND ANTOINE DASHES TO HIS OWN CAR, STARTS IT

CARSON [muttering] Red car. License number…

SOUND JOTTING SOMETHING DOWN

SOUND ANTOINE’S CAR SQUEALS OFF

KAL What was that?

CARSON I gotta feeling I know who to ask. Back in two shakes.

MUSIC

SCENE 6. COTTAGE

SOUND PEOPLE LEAVE, DOOR OPENING, ETC.

SOUND ONE FINAL SHUT

ROSE Darlene, hold on a moment.

DARLENE Yes?

ROSE Mac?

MAC We’re hoping you can help us wrap up the other issue. With the film [hinting] and photos.

DARLENE [cautious] How can I help?

BERTIE We expect you will be contacted by the blackguards who are running that filthy show, and hope that – perhaps after the storm passes – we can follow that connection to the source and eradicate it.

DARLENE But what will happen to me? If those photos leak, I’ll never live down the gossip.

MAC We’ll do everything we can to make sure nothing surfaces to tarnish your reputation.

ROSE Even if something comes out, I’ll bet we can leak a story to the press about how you bravely went undercover to help the police break up this ring, and you’ll be the talk of the town, but in a good way!

DARLENE [rueful chuckle] Well, I’ll help, anyway. No one else should have to go through this.

SOUND KNOCKING AT THE DOOR!

MAC I’ll get it, this time.

SOUND HE WALKS AROUND WELLS’ BODY AND OPENS THE DOOR

SOUND WIND BLOWS WHILE THE DOOR IS OPEN

SOUND CARSON STEPS IN

CARSON Any chance you’re after a slicked-back ginger that drives a red rambler? Oh, and he had a gun.

MAC You saw him?

CARSON Nearly ran me down at the curb.

DUKE Too bad wedon’t got a car.

BERTIE We’d be far too late to follow him anyway.

CARSON Taxi’s waiting at the gate.

MAC Grab anything that will help, and let’s go.

BERTIE I say, Mac, we don’t have a clue where the blasted fellow is headed. How can we--?

MAC I have a good idea he’s going home.

ROSE Home? [realizing] Oh! [sounding it out] Shoemaker – the Schumacher estate?

MUSIC TO CLOSING

ANNOUNCER They’ve solved the Rampart Pictures mystery, but the killer made his escape, fleeing into the night – and more importantly, into the storm.  Has Mac guessed the right connection with the other film company, or will they all be making a long trip into the wind for nothing?

END