Grrl Power #1163 - Abracadatebra! (Patreon)

Thank you for the support! You guys are awesome!

I didn't realize it, but Julie Strain was 6'1", just like Max. I'm assuming most of you know who she was. If you don't, the short version before you hit up google is that she was basically the cover girl for Heavy Metal Magazine. Not literally, they had a zillion amazing covers, almost all of them painted by amazing artists. But I think Strain was featured on more covers than anyone else. She was also in a zillion terrible movie whose plots were "who cares, the camera doesn't cut away when the girls in it shower or change clothes, and they do that A LOT." Unlike Maxima, Strain often wore towering high heels, pushing her to 6'5" or 6'6." And that's really tall for a woman. Immediately after this shot, (from Day of the Warrior - a terrible yet free-with-ads streaming movie) she turned around and smacked the guy in the face with her boob, causing him to flip onto his back. It's the only good scene in the movie. Well, okay, the scene where Shae Marks changes on camera doesn't exactly suck, either.

All of that has nothing to do with this page, but I watched Day of the Warrior (purely for research purposes) so I can't confidently say a 6'1" woman would draw a lot of attention. Especially if all the actors around her are shorter than her in her heels. Max likes cleaty boots, but they don't really add any height over and above the standard shoes most anyone would be wearing. Maybe half an inch over loafers.

Anyway, I guess none of the other guys who have been queuing for Max have tried humor. At least nothing that didn't feel forced. Which is a tall order, admittedly. Pick up lines seem to come in three flavors. Sincere, if somewhat cynically motivated flattery, flat out sexualization, or just straight up attempting to elicit a giggle. Of the three, it seems trying to get a laugh out of a girl would be by far the most effective to break the ice.

I'm sure women use pick up lines on men occasionally, too. And I assume gay and lesbian folks probably use them as well, but for some reason, I picture lesbians using pick up lines the least of all the groups. I'm not sure why that is. Probably because I think of girls using them on guys only as a goof... Maybe I think of lesbians as kind of a serious bunch? Hmm. I'll have to give that some more thought.

But yeah, the "make her laugh" has to be the best approach, right? I mean, has the "Hey baby, do you have any Irish in you? Do you want some? Hur hur." line ever worked? Sure, as a joke, but I mean has it ever worked when played straight?  "No, seriously. I want to put my Irish penis in you."

The vast majority are just groaners. If I was a girl at a bar, (who was attractive enough to have a steady stream of dudes hitting on me) I think by about the 4th guy, I would sound like Kif sighing at Brannigan.