A DIFFERENT PORTRAIT - PART 3 (Patreon)

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Part 3: The Past Through Aiden Chandler's Perspective

The ranger's guard post stood quietly amidst the lush green forest, like a gentle companion to nature. Well, that's not entirely accurate, since a mere five-minute walk from the edge of Azure Haven Town would bring you there. So, I suppose it’s more on the forest’s outskirts.

Towering ancient trees surrounded the post, their dense canopies spreading wide to shelter its roof. Only a few rays of sunlight slipped through the small window, leaving the place rather dim overall. From a distance, the clear chirping of birds echoed, blending harmoniously with the gentle babble of a stream winding through moss-covered rocks. If you cast your eyes deeper into the woods, you might spot a few deer leisurely grazing, occasionally lifting their heads to listen to the wind rustling through the leaves. This tranquil scene was something a ranger like me would wish to preserve forever.

I’m Aiden Chandler, a dull guy nearing 30. In Azure Haven Town, most men my age are already married with kids. As for me, I’ve chosen to live a solitary life. Can’t really blame me, though! It’s not like I get many chances to interact with women.

Whether it’s men or any of the girls, they all see me as an unattractive guy. My height is unimpressive, my frame is slim and small, and my personality is painfully shy. I rarely strike up a conversation with anyone. Without enough interaction, it’s hard for love to blossom, isn’t it?

That’s why, instead of picking a job in the heart of Azure Haven Town, I found myself more suited to this firefly-lit forest. Whether that’s a blessing or a curse, I can’t quite say, but my parents often remark that, at this rate, I’ll eventually forget how to hold a conversation. They’re always telling me to follow the example of my younger brother, Narek Chandler, who’s four years my junior. I know he’s already planning to get married next year.

Comparing me to my younger brother is completely unnecessary, given the massive difference between us. He was born with a handsome face and a tall, broad physique without needing to put in much effort (though, in this regard, I still think I’m stronger than him, despite being thinner). Even back in school, he always attracted the attention of the girls in our class. Sadly, they did the same thing my parents did—compare me to him and wonder aloud whether the two of us could really be brothers.

Although I was envious of him for many things he had, our relationship was always good. Even after he moved to Luminous City for his studies and work, we still text each other every day. It was through these messages that I was surprised to learn that the person he was dating was the same girl I had once confessed my feelings to. That kid truly was something else—despite moving to the big city, he chose to love and marry a girl from our hometown.

If you were to ask me whether I was jealous of my younger brother for getting together with the girl I once pursued, my answer would be no. That was a thing of the past, many years ago. Besides, I think I had more of a crush on Lina Dyer than actual love for her. The younger girl from the Animal Lovers Club is quite lively. Despite people saying that I’m hard to approach, Lina still took the initiative to talk to me comfortably (though, to be honest, she mostly did the talking while I just sat and listened).

It’s probably because, up until now, I’ve only been close to one girl that I mistook that feeling for love. The person who made me realize this wasn’t anyone but Lina herself. On the day I confessed, she turned me down, saying, “I don’t think you really love me.” I’m grateful to Lina for helping me see the truth. But at the same time, it’s a troubling state of affairs, because once again, I find myself in the situation of being without a romantic partner.

My parents gave me an ultimatum: “After you turn 30, if you don't get married, we'll take back the house and kick you out. If you're thinking about your future, you’d better find a job somewhere with more women, or, like your younger brother, pack up and head to the big city to seek more opportunities.”

What my parents don’t understand is that, even if I were to follow in my younger brother's footsteps, the outcome would be the same. The problem lies with me, fundamentally. I don’t even know when it started, but I’ve come to realize that I suffer from social anxiety whenever I meet new people. I become shy, awkward, and then end up avoiding them, retreating elsewhere to avoid any further interaction. With a personality like this, it’s going to be a long time before I find someone to love.

Come to think of it, my younger brother said he would bring a friend, someone he and Lina know, to Azure Haven Town today. My parents were thrilled about it and told me I should be a good host to my brother's friend. In other words, our house would have another stranger staying with us in the coming days. This had me all worked up. I have no idea what to do when it comes to hosting someone; just the idea of interacting with them is hard enough!

I keep my hair long, with the bangs almost covering half of my face. The main reason for this is to avoid interacting with too many people. My parents and even my younger brother have told me countless times to just cut it off, saying I’m turning myself into a gloomy, dreary person. But on this one thing, I can’t listen to them. Besides, I don’t want anyone to see my unattractive face, to avoid unnecessary comparisons with my brother.

It seems like the negative energy I carry might be radiating outward. The proof is that animals, in general, are very afraid of me. As an animal lover, it saddens me every time I approach them, and they immediately run away. So, all I can do is be friends with myself in the isolated ranger's guard post.

Just then, my younger brother’s voice suddenly rang out, making me jump. Of course, I wasn’t scared of him, but of the person he was with. They had arrived in front of me. The guy with my brother was a young man, around my brother's age, named Ace Vernon. He was my brother’s best friend now, someone he had met in Luminous City. Standing next to my brother, Ace Vernon wasn’t exactly handsome, but his face could still be considered pleasant to look at—nothing like mine.

Ace Vernon was dressed neatly, his hair slicked back. He politely greeted me after Narek introduced me to him. In contrast to Ace Vernon’s courteous actions, my rudeness made me regret it for a long time afterward. I just stood there, staring at him, my hands shoved into my pockets to hide the fact that they were trembling. Ace Vernon couldn’t even see my eyes, hidden behind the fringe of my bangs.

At the time, I didn’t realize that my behavior was rude. It wasn’t until later, when I saw Narek reenacting the scene, that I realized how stiff my face must have looked. Ace Vernon’s face briefly showed signs of confusion, as not only was his respectful greeting ignored, but I also acted as if I were challenging him. Because of this, during the entire time the three of us were in the ranger’s guard post, it was almost entirely Narek who played the role of spokesperson. Ace Vernon would occasionally respond with a few words, but every time, he’d glance at me, worried that he might have said something to upset me.

Of course, Ace Vernon’s gestures and attitude clearly showed respect for me, so there was no reason for me to feel upset. Yet, it seemed that my actions and thoughts just didn’t align. In the end, when Narek and Ace said their goodbyes, Ace still directed his gaze toward me, as if expecting that at least once in my life, I would say something to express goodwill. But no, once again, I disappointed him.

Knowing I was in the wrong, I tried to make up for it by preparing a guest room and the best meals I could cook for Ace Vernon. Even my younger brother couldn’t help but say things like, “Why didn’t you prepare a room for me, but only for Ace Vernon?!” or “You’ve never cooked such elaborate meals for me, even though I’m your little brother!”

Of course, my actions were meant to make amends, but once again, my indifferent attitude betrayed me. I didn’t dare sit at the table with the two of them, so I intentionally ate first. Unexpectedly, this created an effect of “deliberately avoiding eye contact.” It’s easy to understand, because every time they sat down at the table, I would get up, making Ace Vernon misunderstand that I disliked him and didn’t want to face him.

A few brief encounters were the same. I was too shy, so I would just lower my head and leave before Ace Vernon had a chance to say anything. At first, Ace Vernon planned to stay in Azure Haven Town for two weeks, but probably because of me, he decided to leave after only one week. Now, I’m certain it was because of me. It’s really heartbreaking to realize... at that moment, I had already fallen for Ace Vernon!

My feelings were one-sided, something Ace Vernon could never have anticipated, because he always thought I disliked him. I had created such a negative impression in his eyes.

As for why I fell for someone I had just met, and who was of the same gender as me, that's a whole different story.

PART 4 >>