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Early update for July 11, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-07-10 03:55:01
Imported:
2026-10

Content

i need this data before i am able to move on

Files

Comments

C

...This is going to be a heavy conversation.

Avidan

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im_sentient

Dina needs a comprehensive review of her text messages for future scenarios

Logibear

Ohhhhh my heart. She is just the best of the moms (outside of Dinas mom, it's a low bar, I know)

5099 5618 v2.0

Ma'am, please. If you're going to do surgery on the man, at least scrub in, first.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

yessssssss im so glad this is finally being brought up in the text joseph lev rosenthal you are your mother's son. grapple with that

Lazuli

wandered. ouch.

Tim Mitchell

He’s absolutely fine, but take him out to lunch and talk anyway (been there, done that, raised two)

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

i wish i could do that thing they do in mario games where you say a character's name and a picture of them shows up right after it, bc i really *really* want there to be a shitty jpg of grapple from the transformers right after where it is in this comment. it'd be so funny

Harold

Joe: "They were received with bemusement, some mild head-shaking, and eyebrows leaping so high I think one may still be on the ceiling." Dina: "Thank you, but I still need that in writing." Joe: "So anyway, Mom--" Dina: "I AM WAITING"

Maude Reads Things

Joe go hug your mother right now young man, I am LITERALLY clawing at the walls here

5099 5618 v2.0

@Jamie (QueenofSodor) If he's got to grapple with this, I'm glad Dina is here to [ help | (translate for) | heckle ] him.

KiasyonSFM

Oh no...he's just like his mama

Andrea Andrew

Joe knows he’ll end up in a polycule with Joyce. It’s gonna be okay.

Tessea

Thank you, Dina.

ArdieBea

"...wandered."

5099 5618 v2.0

Do we have a name for the Dina-Joe ship, yet? [1] [1] - I mean, besides "Cursed"

5099 5618 v2.0

@Andrea Andrew In the long run, perhaps. But no one lives in the long run, we all live in the Now. And right now, I think his mom is right: he really *does* need someone to check in on him.

JMat

Oh shit, he was so worried about becoming his dad, he didn't even consider he'd become his mum.

JMat

I say this with the level of literalness that Dina uses: I laughed out loud.

5099 5618 v2.0

@KlasyonSFM Hot in a way that comes off as infuriatingly effortless (at first), surprisingly empathetic, tall in a way that somehow sneaks up on you, and with eyes that are way bigger than regulations should allow? Bit of the old "hidden depths", yeah.

AE Gonzalez

Joe has become his mother, Joyce has become pre-Joyce Joe.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

Don't think so! It's not on my shipname spreadsheet, at least. (yes i do have a shipname spreadsheet)

Astariel

Dina requires feedback!

5099 5618 v2.0

@Jamie (QueenofSodor) I never doubted it. Mind you, I am now curious if you've got a flowchart, as well.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

@5099 5618 v2.0 I'm not sure how one makes a flowchart of this kinda thing!

voyager-ngc5195

Dad's proclivities, Mom's sensitivities. Joe comes by it honestly. This should be a good conversation. Might even be cathartic for Dina if she sticks around for it.

Tessea

I love Karen already. You can see in her face how much she cares about Joe. She's very sweet.

Tessea

Oof. That's not completely unfair. But I think pre-Joyce Joe wouldn't have stuck with Dorothy. He'd already be off to find a new conquest.

Fart Captor

I'm starting to think Joe's mom isn't going to be kissing other ladies while she's here

5099 5618 v2.0

@Fart Captor Well, not until she's sure Joe's okay, at least. Priorities.

5099 5618 v2.0

@Jamie (QueenofSodor) An app, I figure. Quite a lot of flowchart apps exist for program managers, and most of them plug into Excel in one way or another.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

@5099 5618 v2.0 No no, I understand that, it's moreso that I've no idea what a flowchart would... achieve? The spreadsheet as it exists right now is just a list of names, lol.

C.T. Phipps

I was hoping we'd get some more context for Joedad's cheating. Sadly, it seems the most straightforward answer that he was just a dirtbag.

Johanne

Dina is so right to ask for this, because how else would she learn that it sounded like a random note? But still, perhaps a later time would be better.

Sajuuk-Khar

Richard didn’t wander, ma’am, he fumbled. He fumbled like his last name was Manning and you were a Super Bowl. As has been stated, but it bears repeating.

KiasyonSFM

Had a second thought, Joyce has to meet Joe's mom and that'll be what gets her.

Sajuuk-Khar

Joe: No no no mom, it’s not LIKE that! Joyce is with a girl! Who looks like you! Actually, do you remember Dorothy, from high school?? Karen: Oh no. Honey, I told you you’d regret those lesbian jokes. Dina: Additionally, I am certain that Joyce, who is dreadful, is still horny for your son, Ms. Koopman. Her greed sickens me. Joe: DINA! Dina: It’s the kind of greed that’s talked about in the Bible, and given my ex I’ve been getting many opportunities to read the Bible.

Preventer Wind

A shipping flowchart? Which pairings must come and go on what schedule (ships passing in the night etc) to wind up at the OTP?

Packy Anderson

I think what 5099 is thinking about is a relationship chart, with lines between pictures of the characters showing ships. The problem with a chart like that is that the number of lines grows exponentially. When character N gets added, there will be N-1 lines that get added (not N lines because shipping a character with themselves isn't a ship, it's just wishing for a masturbation slipshine).

Packy Anderson

You must respond in the same medium the communication was initiated in!

Gale Tazzin

he was so intent to not become his dad that he became his mom instead

Harold

@KiasyonSFM: If they run into each other now Joyce will be with Dorothy, which will be *doubly* awkward because Karen already *knows* Dorothy.

5099 5618 v2.0

@Packy Anderson (Now wondering if what you described would somehow benefit from a Fast Fourier Transform...)

5099 5618 v2.0

@Gale Tazzin I can't bring myself to like this post, but that was a *direct* hit. Full-on headshot.