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Early update for August 3, 2026 (Patreon)

Published:
2026-08-02 03:55:01
Edited:
2026-08-03 04:05:53
Imported:
2026-08

Content

it'd probably work

Files

Comments

Simon Magid

Or maybe try to not be so negative.

5099 5618 v2.0

Not sure that's Alice's style, but ok.

C

"...I was more hoping for a healthy relationship with Billie." "...And you're asking ME for advice?"

Lazuli

alice. no.

Jamie (QueenofSodor)

honestly beginning to wonder if these alice/ruth conversations are ultimately leading to alice realizing "oh you two were like Fucked Up fucked up. hmm. maybe i should re-assess my priorities here"

Maude Reads Things

Alice, if you want anything even remotely healthy, you are talking to the wrong person. ...Also probably pursuing the wrong person but hey, I ain't your mom.

Logibear

"You've aptly described our relationship there" "How so?" "Whoops, I've added a drunk girl as a buffer"

Joe Crow - Words & Pictures

Alice. My dove. Just TELL HER that you wanna bang her so hard that it makes you look stupid. You can’t finesse your way past Billifer’s Shield of Dumbassery. You gotta just smash through!

Harold

"OK, so here's a diagram showing *exactly* where the femurs are located..."

Harold

"...And you're hoping for a healthy relationship with BILLIE?"

Harold

Becky MacIntyre: Unintentional Clam Jammer

Ed Marshall

Alice out here checking her assumptions and trying to build healthy relationships in the middle of *gestures wildly in every direction* all of this, and seeking feedback from *gestures specifically in Ruth's direction* all of that

Amós Batista

It's taking some time, but Alice started to figure it out.

Sajuuk-Khar

THE RUTH LESSICK RELATIONSHIP PLAN 1.) Neg her to shit and steal her cheerleading uniform 2.) Reveal just enough inner torment to catch interest 3.) Attempt to drink yourself to death 4.) Friendship??? 5.) Attempt to drink yourself to death AGAIN 6.) you are both poison????? 7.) You are now in a relationship

Michael Flannagan

I love Alice, but it's clear that it's her idea of Billie that she loves, not the actual person. She gives her entirely too much credit for awareness

Zesstra

Do not try this at home.

Packy Anderson

In their case, they both were the drunk girl.

Packy Anderson

"Unintentional Clam Jammer" would be a great band name.

Tessea

I.... don't think that's quite how it went down, Ruth.

Tessea

And that may STILL not work. You may have to bring diagrams and possibly have Sal or Amazi-Girl walk her through the concept.

Tessea

Alice YES! Sorry, was channeling Vegita for a moment, there.

Lazuli

lmao

Lazuli

in a way, alice is kinda where jennifer was at the beginning of the comic. her headspace is still a bit in high school mode and shes operating off the memories she had of jennifer during that time.

Lazuli

a healthy relationship with jennifer.... oh these flying pigs look nice

Tessea

Alternatively, they could just team up. I would bet these two could fluster and seduce the socks off of Jennifer. (hopefully they remember to send Becky home first or it could become really awkward)

Ste Saunders

Alice, notice that Ruth and Billie WERE an item, past tense, and there may well be good reasons for that which you should not replicate.

Sajuuk-Khar

And they were both the buffer

Sajuuk-Khar

Ruth putting the kind of incredulity into each question that Peter Cushing put into “Evacuate? In our moment of TRIUMPH?”

Harold

Alice, you have just described Becky as "sweet" and then "adorable" in consecutive strips. Take the hints you're giving to yourself!

joe mcguire

Yeah, knowing Jennifillie, that might not even be enough. She’s like, superhumanly dense with anything that doesn’t fit her expectations.

Sajuuk-Khar

THE BEAUTIFUL REDHEAD SNACK IS RIGHT THERE, ALICE, ALONE AND UNEATEN

Sajuuk-Khar

Ruth just like “if I don’t tell her about the suicide attempts/pact she can’t REALLY get into a Billie relationship! That’s the SECRET sauce!!”

Sajuuk-Khar

Becky being forced to be the buffer when she would rather be the buffet

Sajuuk-Khar

@Tessea: Billie would say it’s weird of you to repeat yourself on who would have to walk her through it, and also hey nuh uh

Tessea

Don't forget to start by throwing Jennifer through a couch or other plush piece of furniture.

Edwin I Callahan

“And you’re hoping for a healthy relationship in THIS online comic?”

Harold

@Sajuuk-Khar: Billifer already told Alice about the suicide pact, and she's still into this. (It's possible that when Billifer word-saladed all that, Alice just thought she was dramatically exaggerating. NO, Alice, it was an ACTUAL suicide pact.)

Harold

@Tessea: OR, really *interesting*

Harold

@Edwin I Callahan: "You need to be MINOR characters for that, even if there's three of you" (cf. Casa GraMandIerra)

Harold

As much as I love Becky and Dina as a couple, Becky might be better off with someone whose "berserk-Coke-machine" sex drive matches her own. And Alice is certainly approaching that velocity.

thejeff

She already asked Ruth about that

5099 5618 v2.0

@S-K Which part of the process involves showing up in a frilly dress? I recall that being important, at one point.

5099 5618 v2.0

At what point does Ruth admit she wants Billie back so hard it's visible from Low Earth Orbit? Corollary: does Alice not know or not care about Ruth and Billie potentially getting back together, or is she hoping there's room for her in the pattern even if they do?

Harold

Oh, my god, they were buffers

Tessea

Alice asked Ruth why they weren't together anymore even though they both clearly still love each other. I think she would probably be fine fitting into sharing Jennifer because on some level she wants her to be happy, and Ruth could easily be part of that. She's in the same position as Joe was recently, only she and Jennifer are kind of shit at going after what they want or seeing the opportunities they have. EDIT: At least Joe really tried. These two are both avoiding talking to Jennifer.

Sajuuk-Khar

I’m pretty sure that’s after you’re in the relationship but that could be in the frenemy-with-extreme-sexual-tension period in between suicide attempt #1 and #2.

Sajuuk-Khar

Yessss. YESSSSS. You see the vision! Your eyes are opened to the secrets!!

Sajuuk-Khar

@Harold: Given how earnest Alice is I feel like she either just refused to hear the suicide part or thought it was exaggeration like you said, and Ruth is still holding onto the hot (not hot, extremely sad) attempt deets lmao

Sajuuk-Khar

To quote the God-Empress Carla, “I thought [this] was […] the courtship of two cute queer women, not a goddamned DEATH CULT”

Douglas Appelt

She should try this: Alice: "By the way, I'm Amazi-Girl." Jennifer: "I want you so bad right now!"