I Knew You Were Trouble - 14 (Patreon)

I simply love them, your honor.

Happy end of the month!

----------IKYWT----------

Part Fourteen

Maya was jerked out of sleep by the feeling of a hand slapping on her stomach, then curling into a tight fist, feeling the sharp scratch of fingernails against her.

As soon as she opened her eyes, staring up at the ceiling of her hotel room, shoved into awareness rather than a natural wake-up, she didn’t have any time to wonder what the hell had happened. Because it didn’t stop.

Autumn released urgent, alarmed sounds – nonsensical words, really – as she pushed down against Maya’s stomach, rolling her body slightly back and forth.

For the most alarming few seconds, Maya thought she was having a seizure, or that Autumn was reacting to something that might have happened in real life.

But her movements weren’t continuous, and there was no one else in the room with them. No other sounds, Autumn didn’t have her phone out. Nothing.

She jerked against Maya again, one of those sounds – like it was wrenched out of her throat – escaping into the early morning air.

“Autumn?” She asked, her voice hoarse and raspy from sleep, still alarmed.

Autumn jerked against her, her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth set in a deep frown, but other than that, no response.

She was still asleep, Maya realized, the understanding finally hitting her.

And whatever nightmare she was having didn’t seem to be going away, because those little, unhappy murmurs and grunts continued over the next few seconds, as did her movements. She hesitated, freezing where she was laying on her back.

Should she try to wake Autumn up? Was it bad to wake someone experiencing a nightmare? Or, shit, was that about sleepwalking? Either way, was that all an old wives’ tale? Maya was, like, ninety percent sure it was.

Only another few seconds later, Autumn scratched her fingernails slightly into the bare skin of Maya’s lower stomach, where her shirt had ridden up when she’d slept.

Maya looked down at Autumn’s face, her expression seemed to be trapped in a place of anguish. Couldn’t be more opposite of what a restful sleep should look like.

That gave Maya her answer, regardless of any possible sleep myths.

“Autumn,” she said, a little louder than before, not wanting to push Autumn into the same alarmed wakefulness she’d experienced a minute ago.

Who wanted to wake up with their heart hammering, thinking something was wrong?

But Autumn still didn’t rouse. She shook her head into the pillow – which was also, actually, Maya’s pillow. They hadn’t fallen asleep like this, of course.

Because, given their whole situation right now, that would be… crazy. Objectively, Maya understood that them sharing her bed tonight at all was a little crazy. But she’d meant what she’d said to Autumn earlier: she’d be really concerned about Autumn, all alone, tonight.

She’d never seen Autumn do anything to excess, so seeing her get that drunk in such a short span of time – and then seeing the way she’d cried on the way back to the hotel – had eaten Maya up inside.

Even if having Autumn stay with her tonight wasn’t logical when it came to their complicated emotional situation, Maya knew she wouldn’t really comfortably sleep, wondering if Autumn was going to go back to her room and devolve into those awful, gut-wrenching tears again. Or, worse, if Autumn – who’d been a chatty patty at the bar, making first-name-friend basis with the bartender – would decide to leave the hotel and go back out again.

If something did happen to Autumn tonight – physically or emotionally – and Maya could have been here to do something about it, she wouldn’t forgive herself. And she knew that.

But they had both been very thoughtful and responsible when going to sleep. They hadn’t been touching in any way, both kept to their sides of the bed. Autumn, unsurprisingly, given her intoxication, had fallen asleep quickly, curled up in the opposite direction.

And now, Autumn had found her way to Maya’s side of the bed. To Maya.

She had one of her legs thrown over Maya’s, hooked around to keep her close, as well as her arm slung over Maya’s waist. All resulting in Maya’s arm being underneath her. Completely wrapped up in one another.

When she bent her arm, her hand landed on Autumn’s back, and she stroked up and down, over the soft fabric of the t-shirt Autumn had borrowed from her. Keeping her touch firm, decidedly not reverential in any way. The touch had a purpose, and it was to wake Autumn up.

“Autumn, wake up,” she said, in a tone a little more commanding than she would usually use in what felt like a delicate situation.

When she reached her other hand around to grasp at Autumn’s shoulder, giving her a little shake, she could feel that Autumn woke with it. Even before she heard the gasp that sounded wrenched from her throat, and it dug right into Maya.

She’d been tense in her sleep, but the tension that slid through her was a different kind, now, as awareness settled through her.

“Maya?” Autumn asked, her voice hoarse, breath washing over Maya’s throat.

The hand that sleep-Autumn had curled into a fist landing on Maya’s hip had flattened when she’d woken, Autumn’s palm pressed against her.

And she could still feel the way Autumn’s heart was beating far too quickly, given their proximity. Even though she wasn’t asleep, she clearly was still feeling the effects of her nightmare.

And everything inside of Maya ached with sympathy, and she gently stroked her hand up and down Autumn’s spine. “Sorry for waking you up, but I think you were having a nightmare,” she explained, quietly.

She turned her head slightly, angling so that she could actually look at Autumn’s face.

Only a couple of inches away, now, and… it was the closest they’d been since everything had crumbled between them.

The sun was coming up outside of the windows, casting the room in the early morning light. The way it hit Autumn’s eyes was absolutely mesmerizing. The starting clue of them crystal clear and so deep.

And the storminess in them had Maya’s stomach twisting.

Again, she could feel how Autumn tensed against her, even more. She didn’t pull away though – not yet – but the way her hand was pressed against Maya was almost like she was bracing. Like she was ready to push away at any moment.

She didn’t break this intense eye contact, either, though her eyebrows furrowed slightly, and Maya could see a little bit of a blush slide over her cheeks.

“I was,” she confirmed, primly, but didn’t offer anything else.

Maya didn’t even know what she could say, she just knew she wanted to hear it.

She knew Autumn wasn’t obligated to tell her anything at all, but she wanted her to. She’d always wanted her to. And now that Autumn did tell her about her past – about her family, about her college years – it was all either in moments where the situation somewhat forced her hand or, like last night, because she was drunk.

Maya didn’t want that.

She wanted, so desperately, for Autumn to be vulnerable with her because she wanted to. She wanted Autumn to do it in a moment like this: when there was no one else – her sisters, a lawyer, Charlotte – around, when she was sober. In the light of a brand-new day.

When Autumn didn’t say anything as long moments beat by, Maya found herself asking, “Are you all right?”

Which felt like a dumb question. Obviously, something wasn’t all right. Then again, Autumn’s life was in a giant upheaval, so maybe things playing out in her subconscious was normal.

She could see how hard Autumn swallowed, before she nodded. “Yes. I’m… I’m fine.”

She nodded, her head still pressed against the pillow.

If they were just moving on from the nightmare, then the logical thing to do would be to put space between them. The logical thing to do would be for Autumn to go back to her own side of the bed. Even though Autumn’s arm and leg were slung over Maya, she knew that she, too, had the ability to nudge her, to give them space.

She knew it, and she didn’t do it, feeling absolutely frozen in time.

Especially when she felt the tension that had seemed to be wound through Autumn’s very bones slowly but surely go slack against her. Melting into her.

Within moments, this embrace they’d found themselves in was far less about accidental comfort, and far more… more.

Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity in Autumn’s gaze, aimed right at her. And god, she wanted. It was embarrassing, alarming, maybe insane, how easily the concern that had worked through her so thoroughly upon waking could be replaced by this yearning.

But to deny it would be a lie.

Especially when she saw Autumn’s eyes dip to her mouth, looking at her lips.

She licked them in automatic response, even though she knew it was not good, but all she could think about was one of the times they’d had morning sex in her apartment, and Autumn had commented – while fucking her so intently, Maya felt like she was going to die from it – that she loved Maya’s mouth in the morning, the way her lips were so soft, so warm from sleep.

Subconsciously, she flexed her hand against Autumn’s back at the memory, her own eyes glued to the way Autumn’s mouth fell open in response.

And then she thought about that morning again. How, after they’d had sex, Autumn had very perfunctorily gotten up and dressed and left before ten even though it was a weekend.

Closing her eyes and trying to gather herself – using every ounce of strength she had – she forced herself to drop her hand away.

Immediately, Autumn moved off of her, and Maya missed the warmth and weight of her limbs like she was missing one of her own.

“Sorry. I didn’t even realize – I must have moved while I slept,” Autumn muttered.

She didn’t move back into place on her side of the mattress. Rather, she slid all the way to the other side of the bed, throwing her legs over the side.

Hastily, she combed her hands through that silky blonde hair that rained down her back, her movements jerky.

“It’s okay,” Maya soothed – or tried to, pushing up to her elbows.

Autumn paused for just a beat, before she shook her head and stood up. “No, it’s not. And my behavior last night wasn’t okay, either. I apologize.”

She walked quickly, stiffly, over to her clothing, tugging her dress and her purse and shoes into her arms in a matter of seconds.

Maya fully sat up now, herself. “Autumn, you don’t need to apologize. That’s – honestly, it’s the last thing I want.”

She couldn’t help the exasperation from leaking into her voice, but she wanted Autumn to get it. Maya didn’t want Autumn to apologize for opening up to her. She wanted more of it, and she wanted it freely, and… just…

Then again, that was why they were in this position in the first place.

Because Autumn didn’t want to give herself, emotionally, over to Maya.

And Maya was in the position she was in, where she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at Autumn, because she knew that the reality was: Autumn couldn’t give herself emotionally to anyone.

Under everything, it just made Maya so sad.

Maybe Autumn had always, on some level, made Maya sad. Like a stray cat, hissing at anyone who got too close, because underneath everything, she was so alone, and so afraid.

It was why she couldn’t bring herself to truly leave Autumn, in spite of all of the mess and the complications. She didn’t deserve to be so afraid and so alone. Unfortunately, Maya also couldn’t let herself bare her whole heart over and over again.

Autumn turned to look at her, wearing Maya’s t-shirt and sweatpants that were far baggier on her than anything Autumn owned, herself. Looking far too adorable in them, especially with her hair still rumpled from sleep.

“I’m going to go back to my room. Get ready to go back to D.C. Not too long until we leave, and I have a lot to do today.” She hesitated before turning to leave, and that was the biggest difference between Autumn now, and Autumn then. Pre-twins.

Now, she hesitated.

Now, she looked at Maya like she wanted to say something, to do something.

She looked at Maya in a way that made everything inside of her pause. Made her pause in a way that made her question everything, because she didn’t even know what she would do if Autumn laid herself out emotionally bare for her. Was it too late? Should it be too late?

Yes, it should be. Maya knew that.

But at the end of the day, Maya hadn’t found herself in a position to know if her boundaries would truly be tested, as Autumn turned and left her hotel room, pausing to say: “Thank you. For… last night,” before the door shut behind her.

Maya fell onto her back, dropping her hands over her face.

***

A couple of hours later, she sat across from Nadia at a diner a few blocks from her hotel.

“Thanks for meeting me for breakfast. I’m shocked you were up and about so early after last night,” she joked.

Nadia scoffed. “You were always the one that preferred to sleep in.”

Maya didn’t argue. She, Nadia, and a couple of other friends that she’d lost touch with after law school had been very tight back then. They’d shared the long study sessions, the late nights out at the bar. And Maya had been much more difficult to rouse for morning breakfast and brunch afterwards.

Then again – “I didn’t really drink last night, and was back home relatively early. When did you get home?”

Nadia tilted her head at her, rather than answer her question. “Is that what we’re going to continue to do?”

“What do you mean?” She looked around deliberately slowly, as if looking for something she’d missed.

The table had their mostly-eaten plates, empty coffee mugs and juice cups… she thought they’d had quite a nice breakfast together, getting updates on each other’s lives.

Nadia rolled her eyes. “We’re going to continue to make small talk?”

“We haven’t been making small talk; we’ve been catching up,” she shot back, slightly affronted. At least, in Maya’s perspective, they’d been catching up.

It had been a couple of years since they’d seen one another, and given how last night had turned out – going to a loud, crowded bar, that she’d left relatively early from – they hadn’t had much time to chat.

“Yes, and it’s been nice to catch up, get the updates on Tort and your family,” Nadia acknowledged, sincerely, but she still had that direct, intense stare in her eyes. She’d always been very good at that look. “Look, I know it’s been a while since we’ve exchanged more than quick comments on social media. But… come on. Give me the real Maya story. What’s going on with you and your “colleague” for starters?”

She scoffed. “Don’t use air-quotes around colleague; she is my colleague,” she corrected, mildly.

Even so, as much as she tried to play it cool, she felt her heart flip-flop in her chest. How in the hell would she even try to explain Autumn to someone who hadn’t been in the thick of the situation with her, like her sisters?

“Okay,” Nadia drawled the agreement slowly, a little laughingly. “But there is something going on there. Even if you weren’t a dead giveaway–”

Whipping her eyes up to meet Nadia’s, she cut her off, “I was a dead giveaway? How so?”

More than anything, she was genuinely curious. Because she and Autumn had continued to work together, at a legitimately serious governmental level, even if they weren’t actually elected officials themselves. Other than some mild eye-fucking here and there, she was positive they’d kept things under wraps.

… in front of other people, anyway. Moments in The Closet notwithstanding.

She was also positive Charlotte would have given them an appropriate dressing down, otherwise.

“Eh, only because I remember that look on your face from back in law school. Also because you watched her like a hawk at the bar. And the way you led her out – little things. She was the reason I really knew something else is going on.”

Maya couldn’t help but perk up. She cursed herself for it, but she couldn’t lie about it – why lie to herself? “Autumn? What did she do?”

Nadia barked out a laugh. “At the bar, what didn’t she do? Couldn’t stop looking at you, especially during karaoke, like she had stars in her eyes. When you were talking to other people, she looked both moody and sad as hell. And she was really defensive over how great you are at your job; she really didn’t like even a perceived sleight against you. Like she was personally offended on your behalf.”

“Huh,” she didn’t even realize she’d breathed out the sound until it had left her mouth.

She supposed none of this was super shocking; she knew that on some level, Autumn did have these feelings for her. Maybe they weren’t as deeply ingrained into her soul as Maya’s were for Autumn, but she knew they were there.

Autumn not having any feelings for her wasn’t the problem, was it?

But… it was shocking that someone else could see it. That Autumn had, at any time, been so easily transparent.

Then again, Maya supposed, the reality was that Autumn had been drinking. A lot. And, as she’d seen in the aftermath, Autumn’s feelings were far closer to the surface when mixed with alcohol.

Blowing out a long, deep breath, she shook her head. “Yeah, there is something there. Or… was, I suppose.” She tapped her knuckles against the table for several beats, debating if she should go into any other details.

But what was the point? There was no perspective someone else could offer her that could change anything, and Maya was actively trying, for weeks, to not go there in her mind.

Also, she glanced down at her phone to note that it was just after nine, so –

“Honestly, I have to go soon. My train is leaving for D.C. in less than an hour, and we do not have the time to delve into everything with Autumn.”

She made her tone a little glib, but that was also the truth. She’d even packed her suitcase before leaving the hotel so she could go right from breakfast to the train station; it was sitting under the table next to her.

Nadia’s eyebrows were lifted in obvious interest, as she scoffed, “Gossip tease.”

Maya laughed.

“Fine, though, if we aren’t going to get into that – can you at least tell me what the hell is going on with your career?”

The laughter cut off abruptly in her throat, as she stared questioningly across the table, and echoed, “My career?”

“See, the baffled tone you just used is the most concerning thing. Maya, you weren’t only brilliant in law school, but… you were passionate about it. I’m not insulting you in any way,” Nadia held her hands up in defense. “As your colleague pointed out to me last night, working for Charlotte Thompson isn’t like you’re throwing away your life. But, if this isn’t some sort of stepping stone, then what is it?”

Maya took a beat to let her words sink in.

Because, in all honesty, it was – possibly – something she needed to hear. Her family didn’t push about her job – not really, even if they made some comments here and there, but they weren’t usually serious – because they were proud of her, and Maya knew that her parents, specifically, made a point of not wanting to push her into “the family business.”

Which had been at the root of her crisis about law school in the first place, after she’d finished. Was this something she wanted? Or was it something she’d done because she was smart and capable, and it was just… expected? It was the simplest path laid out for her.

She hadn’t known, and while she loved her family and loved to spend time with them, she really wanted to have some real space in her adult life and try to figure that out.

She’d assumed that working for Charlotte would not only be a great opportunity, but would also give her a zoom-out view of the world. Of a whole, wide scope of topics.

Maya had now been with Charlotte for two years, and she had kind of left herself… stagnate.

She didn’t regret letting her personal life dominate her life for the last six months, but it had. She hadn’t really done anything to explore what she wanted, professionally, throughout this entire thing with Autumn. She’d had no interest in looking inward. Looking at her future.

Other than, obviously, what a future could look like with Autumn. And that – regardless of her relationship status with Autumn – wasn’t really productive.

Nadia shook her head, regaining her attention. “I’m really not trying to be pushy, here. And I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and people change. So, I am sorry if I’m shoving my nose where it doesn’t belong. I guess I’m just really curious.”

She nodded, really letting it sink in. Before she took in a long, deep breath, and admitted, “I don’t actually think I’ve changed.”

It was the first time she was saying that out loud, the first time she was testing it out. But, doing it to Nadia was safe.

Autumn, Charlotte, her sisters, her parents… they all had some sort of stake in whatever Maya wanted to do, next.

Nadia perked up a bit, leaning in. “Do tell?”

She rolled her eyes, her lips ticking into an exasperated smile. “There’s nothing really to tell. I just mean… I definitely don’t want to be in politics, and I know that for sure.”

She wrinkled her nose at the thought.

It was easy to see how Charlotte thrived in this environment she’d chosen for herself. And even though she didn’t think Autumn necessarily wanted to be in politics – absolutely insane that they hadn’t even dissected that together… god, their relationship was so strange – she knew Autumn saw herself working for Charlotte.

Maya definitely didn’t want that, either.

But she did want to do… something. Something that mattered.

And, professionally speaking, things had been shifting at work for her in the last month.

With Autumn so busy and needing to take full or half days out of the office, Maya had picked up all of the slack. And in doing so, it had become apparent to her how much she’d been coasting.

Even when she needed to problem solve as Charlotte’s second assistant, it wasn’t really hard. She didn’t ever have to think of creative solutions, have to put her brain to use. Schmoozing and chatting and configuring schedules… whatever. Maya could do it in her sleep.

For the last two years, she’d been operating on auto-pilot, and she didn’t think that was wrong.

But having more to do in Autumn’s absence, using her brain a bit more, mediating more, working out some more solutions while managing Charlotte’s more intensive issues had really lit something inside of her.

And what she’d been having to realize was that she was kind of bored in the day to day of her normal job. Kind of really bored, actually.

On top of all of that, she felt so ignited by Honor and Haven’s – and Autumn’s – situation. Personally, of course, that was undeniable. She was wrapped up in the lives of the Altons.

But it went beyond personal. Since the day the twins had arrived, they’d dug into Maya’s brain, getting gears turning in a way that she hadn’t felt in so long. Like the dust had been blown away, and she was operating in a manner she hadn’t done in years.

Because they weren’t the only people in this kind of situation. They were far from the only people who needed help.

And it wasn’t “help” in the way Charlotte, on a grand scale, was capable of. Politically, obviously, people like Charlotte were needed. But all of the red tape, and the back-and-forth, and the gray matter was so fucking irritating. There were so rarely real answers, especially ones that could be readily available.

The most excited, the most invigorated, she’d been professionally in… ever, had been when she’d gone with Autumn to Jillian Miller’s office last week, and discussed the logistics of what came next. Not that Maya had really been responsible for anything, other than talking Autumn through legal jargon. But how fucking thrilling it had been, being adjacent to that process.

Nadia snapped her fingers, jarring Maya from her thoughts. She had a very satisfied smirk on her face. “There’s a look on your face; I knew you had something else in play.”

Exasperated, she chuckled. “I don’t. Not really, anyway. I just…” She took in a deep breath, deciding that she couldn’t discuss Jillian Miller with Nadia, even if she didn’t go into details. The whole situation was so sticky, she absolutely wouldn’t risk talking about it to someone who wasn’t involved. She’d told very few details to her family, in a legal sense, and that was that.

“I do think I’ll be moving on. Sooner rather than later,” was what she landed on.

And in saying it aloud, she found that the words settled inside of her in a good way. In the way that told her maybe the email she’d been drafting and then re-writing and editing over and over again in the last week, in fits and starts, to Jillian Miller wasn’t just something that should stay in her drafts.

***

Later that afternoon, Maya let herself into Autumn’s new apartment. A townhome style, it was in a cute little neighborhood about ten minutes away from Autumn’s previous place.

She held her breath as she gently closed the door behind her.

Today had already been such a… day for the two of them. Not only in her hotel room this morning, but on the trip back to D.C.

They’d both been on the same Amtrak, having left Manhattan just after ten this morning, but they hadn’t really spoken on it. Autumn had taken her seat before Maya had boarded, unsurprisingly, and they had sat next to one another –

Autumn had made a point of removing her bag from the seat when she’d seen Maya, wordlessly nodding down at it. A silent invitation.

And she’d sat.

For most of the ride, Autumn had been typing on her laptop, and Maya was sure that between catching up at things from the office and juggling all of the logistics she had in place with the twins, she had a ton of admin to do.

Maya had started to read her book, and then had fallen asleep for most of the ride. When she’d woken up, she’d found that Autumn had – at some point – put a throw blanket she obviously kept in her bag over Maya’s lap.

This morning, and last night, had been the messiest, most entangled they’d been in weeks.

So, Maya had doubted whether she should come over today at all.

But she’d told Autumn, before all of that had played out between them, that she’d help her paint Honor and Haven’s bedroom this afternoon, after they got back.

The twins were supposed to return at some unspecified point this evening, post weekend review period.

And Autumn had told Maya that she really wanted to surprise them by painting their bedroom in their new place. Because, she’d explained, the walls at their childhood home were a stark white, almost… clinical. Devoid of color, of personality, of emotion. They weren’t allowed to hang anything on their walls, other than approved religious paraphernalia.

She’d recounted to Maya a story from the twins’ childhood, how they’d begged to paint even a single wall in their bedroom, after they’d gone to a friend’s house and seen that they had purple walls.

Autumn hadn’t shared details with her, but from her tone and expression, their father’s response hadn’t been favorable.

And whether it was stupid or not, Maya had started to care about those girls. It was really easy to, with their big, sad eyes, and sweet personalities, how precocious they were.

So, she’d volunteered to help Autumn paint so they could guarantee it would be done for the twins by this evening.

After all, what was one more afternoon?

In the last couple of weeks, she’d gone with Autumn to tour several apartments, done some research with her in triangulating the best school district, had taken it upon herself to look into some advanced piano instructors. If she hadn’t been with Autumn, she’d been hanging out with Honor and Haven, keeping an eye on them while Autumn was busting her ass to get a life prepared for them to jump into here.

Sooner rather than later, Maya’s help wouldn’t be needed, the way she was needed right now.

Soon, Autumn would be granted emergency guardianship. The twins were going to be starting at their school and other activities. The apartment was already coming along, and the lease had only started within the last few days.

She was, truly, happy for things to settle for the Altons. She wanted that for Autumn, for the twins.

But she had no idea where she fit into the picture when that happened. What was her friendship with Autumn, when they didn’t have this anymore? When Autumn didn’t legitimately, acutely need her support?

They hadn’t had this kind of friendship, before. So… Maya didn’t know if it would be here, when Autumn’s life calmed to a new normal.

And she really didn’t know, emotionally, how all of that made her feel.

So, for now, she was ignoring it.

For now, she’d come over, prepared to paint.

She walked through the apartment slowly, taking everything in.

The stools for the kitchen island had been assembled, the new couch – a cushy three-seater, rather than the loveseat Autumn had before – had been delivered, and Autumn had put together the side tables.

She paused, a grin sliding onto her face, when she saw the fish tank against the far wall.

“Oh!” Autumn’s startled sound stole her attention, and she turned to the left, where Autumn was standing in the doorway to one of the large bedrooms.

Her eyes were wide, and she had a hand clapped over her chest as she took in Maya’s presence.

“I didn’t…” She breathed out a long, low breath, rolling her shoulders back, as she calmly regarded Maya. “I didn’t know you were still coming today.”

She arched an eyebrow back at her. “I told you I would,” she reminded. “Besides, I’ve already helped pick out the paint color. I’m going to see the project through to the end.”

She’d covertly had the twins pick their own paint color, actually. Last week, she’d acted like she was going to paint her own bedroom, and had asked their opinions.

They’d both agreed on a very solid choice, in Maya’s opinion. A solid, almost… calming? green. Too dark to be a mint, but definitely in that family, titled willow bay at the store when Maya had ordered it.

Autumn looked at her, silently, as she rolled her lips. And Maya wanted so badly to understand what she was thinking when they had these moments.

“I appreciate it. Though, you could have knocked,” Autumn almost chastised.

In the past, Maya knew it would have been a reprimand.

But right now, the smallest of smiles played, beautifully, on her lips.

“I was the one who went toe-to-toe on every point about the HOA on this place with the management company, and we had plans today; I think it’s fair to come in with the unlocked door,” she defended.

Autumn merely shrugged in a way that was deliberately, attractively, haughty.

“I love that you moved the fish already,” she gestured to where her attention had been grabbed.

Autumn’s eyebrows furrowed, like she was baffled by her comment. “Of course I did. That takes a lot of careful planning, the timing of emptying the tank, disassembling, and re-organizing it. It was the first thing I moved.”

Because those fish were her family. Little aquatic beings that depended on Autumn’s time and attention, and Maya knew that Autumn took that responsibility very seriously.

Clearing her throat, she looked Autumn over.

And, god, she loved that Autumn had purchased a legitimate smock. Like, one that covered her entire outfit to protect her clothes from the paint.

She looked so fucking cute in it, and Maya knew that was the last thing Autumn would think about the practical choice she’d made.

“So… I see you took my advice seriously when I said that paint on your clothing will be a pain in the ass.”

Autumn looked down at herself, at the long-sleeved coveralls she wore. Then she looked back at Maya, giving her a once-over that made Maya shiver. She dragged her gaze up to Maya’s, her voice dry, “I see that you didn’t take your advice seriously.”

Maya glanced down at herself as well.

She was wearing old joggers and a t-shirt she’d stolen from one of her sisters at some point, years and years ago.

“I’m doing what most people would do – wear clothing that you don’t mind ruining a little.”

“Well, I don’t own clothing that I don’t mind ruining,” Autumn smartly returned, and wasn’t that just the thing Maya loved about her.

Stopping herself from going down that train of thought, she deliberately looked over Autumn’s shoulder. “Did you already get started, then?”

Autumn walked back into the room, gesturing for Maya to follow.

Which she did, only to stop as soon as she stepped on the floor.

“Autumn, I say this with respect and fear: you would make a meticulous serial killer.”

Because it was true.

The wall was perfectly covered in a plastic tarp, not a single sliver of the hardwood floor exposed. She’d also perfectly used painter’s tape around all of the fixtures, protecting everything that shouldn’t come into contact with the paint from the possibility of it.

“Thank you.”

Maya couldn’t help but smile at her response.

They got to work easily, quickly. Maya using a brush to work near the fixtures and in the nooks and crannies, Autumn starting to roll over the wider, open expanses of wall, on opposite sides of the room.

They really did work in tandem well. She’d learned that over the last couple of weeks as well. It made sense, Maya supposed, given that they’d formed such an easy rhythm for so long literally working together.

But that didn’t necessarily mean they would work together so seamlessly when it came to doing all of these non-work-related tasks.

“So,” she started, clearing her throat, but not looking over at Autumn. “Are you okay?”

She could hear Autumn’s paint roller pause, before she hesitantly asked, “What do you mean?”

“Just, this morning.”

Even if it had passed quickly when Autumn had been woken up, Maya had still thought back to how tormented Autumn had seemed in her sleep multiple times.

“Oh. Yes. I’m okay,” Autumn answered, stiltedly.

Maya stopped herself from asking more. That had been her take for most of the last several weeks. Sometimes she couldn’t help but ask questions, but mostly, she tempered them. Which was why she still didn’t know all that much about Autumn’s experiences, beyond the bigger stories she’d shared.

Autumn cleared her throat roughly, and Maya could hear her start moving the paint roller once more. “I have those relatively frequently. I have, for a long time.”

Maya almost accepted that as an explanation. Almost, because she couldn’t help this little hiccup in her mind. “Did I just… sleep through them?”

She couldn’t fathom that, because she wasn’t that much of a heavy sleeper. But she and Autumn had spent so many nights together.

“No,” Autumn’s voice was soft. The paint roller continued to move. “But we don’t have to talk about it. I know you said you don’t want an apology, but I am sorry… for drinking so much last night. And for,” she cleared her throat, and Maya could hear the embarrassment in the sound. “For crying like that, too.”

And she could hear Autumn continue to paint, even when she found that she couldn’t.

No, she didn’t want the apology.

But she also didn’t want Autumn to feel badly.

Especially for those tears. For those raw, honest, desolate tears, about how she “wasn’t fun.”

Autumn, drunk and messy, sobbing over the traumas in her life that had robbed her of having frivolous fun would be burned into her mind, permanently.

Her heart heavy, she had to swallow painfully thick tears back.

She wasn’t going to make this moment about her, wasn’t going to make this another emotional, sad moment for Autumn. She’d had so much of that. Too much.

And before Maya could think too much about the idea that hit her, she just acted on it.

She lightly dipped her brush into the paint next to her, and turned around, looking at Autumn’s back. She had her whole smock on, covered from head to toe, and Maya…

Maya walked up to her, and flicked her wrist with enough force to send the paint splattering over Autumn’s back and onto the tarped floor.

Autumn froze immediately.

“… what was that?” She asked.

Maya flicked the brush out again, hitting the smock with another splatter. “I don’t know. What do you think it was?”

Autumn slowly turned, her eyebrows lifted high on her forehead, confusion etched into her face. “Are you… why are you doing that?”

Delighted in the baffled expression on Autumn’s face, she reached out and dabbed her paintbrush onto Autumn’s smock, directly.

Autumn gasped as Maya dragged the brush over her stomach, jumping back. “Maya! What are you doing!”

“We’re going to have a little fun,” she responded, stepping back and holding her arms out to the sides. “Come on. Get me back.”

Autumn’s mouth fell open, utterly offended. “I will not. You’re being so–”

“Ridiculous?” She filled in. “Silly?”

“Yes,” Autumn answered, angling her chin up. “And wasteful, also.”

“We got like double the amount of paint we’re going to need,” she pointed out, looking at the cans around them. They were doing one room with this color.

Both of the bedrooms were a good size – the twins room big enough for them both to have queen beds, dressers, and desks – but… they didn’t need three cans of paint for it.

“Come on,” she gently cajoled, wiggling her fingertips at Autumn. “Come and get me.”

Autumn’s eyebrows seemed to crimp together even deeper, like she was realizing Maya was some sort of alien species or something. “That’s… I’m not…”

She flicked her paintbrush at Autumn again, and this time a small fleck of paint hit her cheek.

Autumn gasped, and, like it was an automatic reaction, waved the paint roller at Maya with enough force to send the paint splattering off and hitting Maya back.

She laughed, triumphantly. “I bet I’ll cover you more than you can get me,” she challenged, because she knew Autumn.

And she saw the competitive glint in her eye only a second before Autumn pushed forward, using the roller over Maya’s torso.

Maya had never done anything like this before, even when she had painted rooms before in her parents house or at her sister’s homes when they’d moved.

And it was going to be a total bitch to get out of her hair, which she didn’t have wisely covered up the way Autumn did.

But she didn’t care, not a single fucking bit.

She felt lit up from the inside out, electric but in such an innocent way, in a way she’d never felt with Autumn, as Autumn chased her with a freshly dipped roller, smattering her with willow bay.

And then she swiftly ducked and turned, getting the drop on Autumn in a way that made Autumn shriek with laughter. Something Maya not only had never heard, but wouldn’t ever be able to have fathomed.

Like Autumn, for once, wasn’t thinking about anything else. Wasn’t able to get lost in her thoughts, because all she was doing was thinking about this moment.

And that she was enjoying it.

She didn’t know how long it was, before Autumn slipped on some of the spilled paint on the tarp, and her body slammed into Maya’s, sending them both crashing to the floor.

Her breath was knocked out of her, as she fell on her back with Autumn on top of her, but frankly, she’d barely been able to catch her breath for several minutes, anyway.

Both her paintbrush and Autumn’s roller clattered to the floor, out of their hands, and she groan-laughed, dropping her head down to the ground.

Some of Autumn’s laughter fell away immediately, as she braced herself on her hands. Pushing up just enough to study Maya’s face. “Are you all right? Did you hit your head?”

She shook her head, gingerly, both in response and testing for pain. But, mercifully, felt fine. “I’m good. Unfortunately, though, since we’re touching like this, the paint is going to smear. We won’t know who won,” she pointed out.

Autumn bit her lip, looking down at her.

Several long strands of blonde hair had escaped from the safe haven of the hood on those smock/coveralls, and she had splatters of paint on her cheeks, one on her earlobe. Her face was flushed from laughter, and Maya’s heart fluttered in her chest.

“I’m willing to tie,” Autumn murmured, and didn’t pull away from her, not any farther than these few inches.

Maya was so close to pointing out that she couldn’t imagine Autumn being satisfied with a tie in a competition. She didn’t know if she should, because it was such a leading statement, and yet… she almost did, anyway.

Before she could, though, Autumn’s eyes bore into hers. The look so intense, so serious, it stole Maya’s words before she could speak.

And then Autumn whispered, “I didn’t have the nightmares when I was sleeping with you.” Her cheeks colored, deeply. “I mean that literally.”

“I knew what you meant,” she whispered back, and she couldn’t help herself.

She lifted her hand up, brushing those errant strands back behind Autumn’s ear.

But that meant more to her than if Autumn had been referencing them having sex. Autumn telling her that she’d felt safe with Maya, safe in her most vulnerable state, meant so much more to her than Autumn feeling safe enough to have sex with her. It always had.  

The door to the apartment opened, multiple footsteps walking in.

They both froze, but before they could move, there were several figures in the doorway, coming to a stumbling stop as they looked at them.

Honor, Haven, and Rhea, their case worker.

Maya looked at them all upside down from her perch still laying on the ground, her heart still hammering in her chest, and still very much feeling all of Autumn on top of her.

Maya, particularly, focused on the twins. Who, from her vantage point, were both looking at them very intently, mirroring expressions of their eyebrows drawn down low, studying.

Autumn scrambled up quickly, her face a deep red. “I am so sorry. I – we – we were painting, and then we tripped, and… is everything okay? How was the weekend?” She asked, looking between the twins and then to Rhea.

It was Rhea who responded first, looking thoroughly amused. As a professional, though, she didn’t comment on their situation, other than, “This color looks lovely. And this preliminary review went very well. Why don’t you and I take a minute to chat, before I go?”

Autumn nodded, brushing her hands over her smock as if trying to dry them, forgetting that her smock was even more covered in paint than her hands. “Ah – yes. Let’s go to the kitchen, and I can wash up?”

Autumn fastidiously didn’t look back at them, as she led Rhea out.

Maya slowly pushed herself to sit up, rubbing her lower back. Yeah, she was going to feel that fall tomorrow for sure. But… it had been absolutely worth it.

Blowing out a deep breath, she looked at the twins again.

Who were both staring, still, with wide eyes, as they stepped into the room and both offered Maya a hand to help her up. She thought that was a good sign, a sign that either they hadn’t put together what they’d seen – and maybe that was true, given their overall naivete – or, if they understood on some level, that they didn’t think she was some sort of lesbian predator who had sunk her claws into their sister.

She accepted their help, giving them a small smile when she was hauled to her feet. “Thanks. So… I guess we didn’t finish it in time for it to be a surprise. But, do you like the color?”

She gestured around the room.

Where more paint was now on the tarp than the walls, but it was still obvious what color it was.

Both Honor and Haven, as they were wont to do something when prompted by an “authority figure” – which still felt a little crazy to Maya to be seen that way by them – looked around at the room rather than at her.

“I love it,” Honor assessed.

Haven nodded in agreement, still darting her eyes around.

Maya gave them both a small, affectionate smile.

She knew that if she had been told, as a teenager, that she’d be sharing her bedroom with one of her sisters, she wouldn’t have enjoyed that information. But the twins seemed to take comfort in knowing they’d be in the same place.

She knew because she’d been a part of several conversations around what they were looking for in a new home.

They’d both been thrilled about the size of the room, and that was when she’d learned that the twins had also shared their room with more siblings back with their parents for most of their lives. Apparently, it was a large six bedroom home, but the boys all had gotten their own bedrooms, and the girls didn’t move out until they were married. Which clearly happened young, so the twins had gotten their own room with just the two of them for the last year or so, after their sister Florence had been married off.

Oof.

When Haven looked back at her, her head tilted slightly, Maya gave her an encouraging nod. She and Haven had made a lot of headway in the last few weeks. Even though she was quiet, shy, nervous – she’d really started sharing more with Maya, getting more comfortable with her.

“Are you and Autumn getting married?” Haven asked.

Maya choked on absolutely nothing. “I – what? Married?!”

Married!

She’d thought Haven was going to comment on the freaking paint color!

Marriage and Autumn were two words that Maya hadn’t associated in any logical way. Not really. In passing daydreams or fantasies, maybe, but not in any serious way. She’d have to get Autumn to agree to have a fucking date with her, first.

Autumn appeared back in the doorway, her cheeks still flushed. “What’s going on?” She asked, an urgency in her tone. Like she’d hurried back as soon as possible.

“No, Autumn and I aren’t getting married,” Maya asserted, hoping she managed to not sound nervous.

Why should she be nervous, anyway? It wasn’t like…

“What?!” Autumn’s voice ticked up several octaves.

Both of the twins turned to look at Autumn in the doorway, back at Maya, and then to Autumn again, before Honor said, “We just saw the two of you…” She trailed off, obviously unsure of how to determine what they saw. Fair. “And Maya is always here and helping us and being nice, and she’s a lesbian.” She looked at Maya once more, firmly asking, “Right?”

Holding her breath because – jesus effing christ, she had no idea what to say while navigating this conversation – Maya slowly nodded. “Ah… yes, what you just said is all technically correct.”

“Gay people can’t get married in our dad’s church, but we obviously know that you can… in other places,” Haven affirmed, quietly. Almost questioningly, like she wasn’t one hundred percent sure about that, because she’d certainly never experienced a gay wedding before.

“That is also true,” Maya agreed, darting her eyes to Autumn.

Who looked absolutely shell-shocked, and was staring back at her, wide-eyed.

The look of panic on her expression was unmistakable, and Maya could also read the question in her eyes. Ever so slightly, she nodded. Hoping that Autumn took this as the opportunity she believed it was, but not forcing her hand.

“While Maya and I are – are certainly not getting married,” Autumn breathed out a quiet, nervous titter, her voice trembling slightly on the words. Almost like she wasn’t quite sure of what she was saying, either. “I… I should… you two should know.”

Autumn looked away from the twins, and back at Maya again. Like she was taking strength from her or something, and Maya hoped that was the case. She really did, even though the truth was that Autumn didn’t need to get strength from anywhere other than herself. She was the strongest person Maya knew, even to a fault.

Those beautiful blue eyes turned back to the twins, as Autumn rolled her shoulders back and stated – quickly, firmly – “I am a lesbian. And that’s why I was no longer allowed to be a part of our family. That’s why I couldn’t marry Seth.”

Neither Haven nor Honor had tried to dig in and get more details about Autumn and their parents in the last several weeks. Could never be Maya, who would have asked a million questions. But it seemed the twins had learned not to ask too much. They’d seemingly accepted Autumn’s explanation that she wouldn’t be marrying Seth as the big catalyst for her being excommunicated, without going deeper.

Maya’s own heart beat faster, nervous but so fucking proud of Autumn.

The twins weren’t bursting into tears or screaming or running away or anything, so immediate reaction seemed to be going decently.

Autumn only gave a few seconds for the information to sink in, before her nerves obviously got the better of her, and she asked, “How do you two feel, about that?” Hesitantly, obviously terrified and trying not to visibly show it, she pushed, “Does it change… anything for you?”

And that was also the thing about Autumn. She knew the twins and their background so well, well enough to know that they likely wouldn’t assert their thoughts or opinions unless prompted.

But once they were, they both shook their heads, quickly.

“No, it doesn’t change anything for us,” Haven nearly tripped over her words as they fell out of her mouth. “We want to be here with you. Even if…” She blushed again, glancing at Maya, then Autumn once more. “You’re a lesbian. We – we love you.”

Maya smiled at her, feeling like her heart was going to burst out of her chest at the sheer joy of how well this was going. And, frankly, at how proud she was of all of the Altons in this room. “You didn’t even whisper when you said lesbian,” she interjected, lightly, with a teasing smile.

A returning one, albeit sheepish, slid over Haven’s face.

Honor waited a moment, before saying, “I mean… we kind of thought you might be.”

Haven immediately nudged her with her shoulder, shooting her a look.

“What? We did,” Honor shot back, defensively. She glanced between Maya and Autumn, not quite apologetic, but something like it. “I mean… you spend all of your time with lesbians. With Maya. And you work for Senator Thompson. You don’t have a boyfriend.”

Maya couldn’t help but chuckle, loving the way Autumn appeared both shocked but also pleased. Like she almost couldn’t believe this was going so well for her.

Honor frowned. “We just thought that if you were a lesbian, too, that…” She looked between them once more.

And that stole Maya’s laughter right from her lips, making her stomach twist even as her heart skipped a beat.

Autumn’s eyes locked onto hers from the doorway. “Yes, well. Maya… is just… a really good person.”

She had to swallow thickly, at the intensity. At the weight of the air in the room around them, wondering if that was what the twins had been able to sense.

“Hmm. Okay,” Honor accepted with a nod. She and Haven exchanged a considering look, letting this information sink in. Before she turned to them and asked, with a whole new kind of excitement crossing over her face, “Can we help paint?”

Autumn released a fluttery laugh, relief etched into her face. “I – yes. Of course. Yes. Why don’t you two change into the extra painters smocks I have out in the kitchen?”

Both of the twins hurried to do so, and Maya followed them to the door, stopping just in front of Autumn.

“Not too bad, was it?” She asked, softly. Gently reaching out to nudge Autumn’s hand with hers, but not holding it. Not lingering… too much.

Autumn’s eyes stayed locked on hers. “No. Not too bad at all.”

.

.

.

.

spoiler prevention

.

.

.

.