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LIVESTREAM ON YOUNOW FRIDAY 10am PST! (Patreon)

Published:
2016-11-16 17:54:35
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Livestream this Friday at 10am! Leave your questions below and if you miss it live, I will make sure it's posted to YouTube as well :) xoxo I will do some on the weekends soon (I know that's easier for many of you) I have just been filming videos on those days recently. xoxo 

Comments

Brittanyann

Good Afternoon Kati!! So this is an incrediby weird and embarrassing question and i will probably hide and dissapear after this but its really bugging me and I obsess over it all the time. I dont really know how to explain it but i have, I guess, "good" obsessive thoughts about my therapist. Nothing romantic in anyway more of i want to be in her presence, in theory I want her to hug me even though I hate being touched, I always want to see her. two months ago she switched me from 2 days a week to 1 day due to college rules. I had a severe dissociative episode during session and almost drove off a bridge on my commute home. (Sorry if that is tmi or triggering to anyone, not sure what we shouldnt say on here let me know and I'll delete it).Since then I have asked to come in making her think I was in crisis just to see her a few times 😔 very bad, I know. I pretty much stalk her on her Facebook and her website.. eek. and I have even started having them with you. 😶😖 I have watched all your vidoes atleast twice and some MANY times. I rewatched the livestream where you said my name the other day. All you said was my name and i go into this mode I can't describe. Oh gosh I feel like a stalker. I'm sorry. My therapist knows about me looking on her website. She says I have transference and I understand that with all the abuse I experienced from my mother. I just want to stop this feeling. it's not bad but i get really obsessed with thinking about it. Any idea what could be causing this? My therapist wants to talk about it but I'm too embarrassed to so I say no. I guess my question to this is I know transference is common in therapy but is it usually this intense? also how can I make it more manageable on my own. I think once I understand it more It wold be easier to talk to her about it.

Dawn

Hello Kati, I hope you are doing well. I have a question about how to get over transferences in therapy. Example: I tend to fear being close with people on an emotion level. I have always been fairly independent and now I'm in therapy and my relationship with my therapist is going well. We are clicking really well and we both feel we are getting really close and I actually believe him when he says he cares. Thing is now I am terrified to go into therapy. I never let anyone in and it's terrifying. I keep on thinking he is going to hurt me and I don't just mean emotionally, from past abuse in my life, I fear my therapist will hurt me physically. Now someone told me this was transference, I could absolutely be wrong, but either way what are some things I can do about it? I don't want it to interfere with therapy because it is going so well. I have brought this up with my therapist but unfortunately the fears haven't gone away. I'm trying really hard to be aware of them and not let these feelings stall us in therapy. Is there anything else I can do??? Thank you for all that you. You are a light in the darkness for many and it's inspiring to witness. Take care Kati! :)

Kirbie

Hey Kati! Is it normal to feel guilty for not reaching milestones in recovery at a certain point? I still have a long way to go mentally but physically I am healthy and I feel like people expect me to be in a state of mind that I honestly don't think I will be in for a little while. This question is more on the lines of addressing fear foods and having people think I am ready to eat anything which is far from the case..this makes me feel like I am letting them down and I feel bad about it. How do I handle these feelings?

Mags

Hi Kati, hope you're well. I've been thinking a lot about recovery. I've been through a couple of times when i really feel the issues that cause my mental health challenged are behind me, but i know thats not so. How to I manage my feelings of guilt and shame over takeing time out from work and other life goals to focus on my recovery. I am no longer in crisis, but i know that doesn't mean i'm "cured" like my brain and my family would have me believe hense the feelings.

Jennifer Hall

Hey Kati(: (sorry I had to miss the live stream. Have Government class!) But anyways, I recently saw the person I am working with. I confessed my eating patterns which is mainly restricting and she asked a list of questions. I was allowed to say I am not comfortable with the question and we could move on, I said it that I wasn't comfortable to two of them. Before we got into this I gave her a letter and I wrote "I know what this sounds like..." implying the term "eating disorder". We never said the term but she did use the phrase I wrote in the letter. I don't see her for 6 weeks; emails and phone check ins are limited. I don't know what to think! I also don't know what to do now because I definitely don't want to eat and I would like to go biking again (I do it to a very extreme level) . Since I don't see her for another 6 weeks, what are your thoughts? I have no idea what she is trying to find other than thinking she gave me an assessment or something. What can I do in that 6 week period? Thanks!

Tina

Hey Kati! This is the randomest question! I've been bringing my journal to therapy because I can't verbalise some past traumas. So I figured I'd let my therapist read about them without ever having to actually needing say the words...but in reality, what ended up happening in appointments were either him reading the entry straight out or him asking me to read the entries out loud (all with my consent of course), which are honestly so difficult. I am wondering if you've ever heard of people doing this, whether this verbalising thing really is necessary and if so, what purpose does this achieve? Thanks so much!! Xxx

Keely Pearmain

Hi Kati, I hope you're well, I've been following you for awhile and everything that you do is amazing, your videos and live streams have helped me so much so far. Well, I've got a history of trauma etc. I've been trying to reach out for help since I was about 13 but due to other family problems there has always been something blocking me. I suffer with depression, self harm and sometimes anxiety when the depression gets so bad. I've tried to stop the self harm and haven't done for about a month now. In January I tried to reach out for help and saw a therapist (for talk therapy) but as I'm in the uk the sessions were limited. She was great and really understood me even though I rarely spoke as I find it hard to verbalise how I feel. I'd take my journal and she'd call me out of certain things. It helped. I then went to cbt but on the assessment was referred to secondary mental health care. I've waited nearly 5 months for an appointment. And it's on Wednesday coming. I am freaking out so much! I know that I can't talk to a stranger, I get in a room and forget that I can speak, I want to but the words won't come out. I don't trust myself to be honest but I can't afford to mess this up. I have suicidal thoughts daily and I don't know how I'll cope. If I can't get help or they don't think that I'm ready to accept help. I feel like a freak and don't even understand myself. Is there any advice you could give me to help me get through this? Thank you so much love kee x

Hailey
>>3050820

So confused with patreon! Lol anyway my dad was telling me about ed treatment centres in Utah that are run by Mormons and use equine therapy.. not been able to find much info about them so was wondering what your thoughts are, have you heard of them had any experience? Thanx so much

Anne G

I went to a therapist but both me and the therapist agreed that I need more help than she could give me. My GP has sent an application to a psychiatrist but half of the people who apply get turned down. What do I do if I get turned down? Like, I really feel like I need a psychiatrist

Jana S.

Hey Kati^^ Thank you so much for everything you do. I can’t emphasise strongly enough how thankful I am. You’re so inspirational and helpful and you’re videos and livestreams brighten my days, so thank you for everything you do!! :) I just wanted to say that first^^ I got another two questions for you today. The first one is: How can I differentiate between laziness and avolition (lack of motivation/drive)? (I keep beating myself up, when I can’t get myself to do anything and I don’t want to, but I really struggle telling the difference between those two. :S) The second one: I also feel like I'm just generally going into a state of "resignation" when I feel overwhelmed. There are far too many things I would like to do these days and I try to organize my time so I can get as much of it done as possible, but I keep failing because I need for certain tasks (for the university) a lot longer than expected or I loose time “picking” (dermatillomania), sleeping or spending far too much time fussing over the format of some of the works I do or something like that (just being very perfectionist about it and therefore needing a lot more time to actually finish something). I did already decide to drop a lot of courses/activities that I intended to do this semester, but university still seems to be too demanding for me and I’m happy I can at least keep my mood stable at the moment. But I can only do so by getting in this “state of resignation” and stop caring about anything altogether. I guess I actually need my emotions to motivate me to do something, but when I let myself feel them, they usually overwhelm me and I can’t work properly either. Do you know something that might be able to help me getting out of this “circle” and actually getting stuff done so that I might at least feel like I’m on my way to recovery and generally towards my goals again? xxx

Siobhan

Hey Kati! All of my counsellors and therapists have said that I make their job hard because I don't tell what I want to tell them straight away. I take my time or go around the topic. What should I do? Xx

Haley Eidem

Do you have any tips for dealing with a total lack of motivation? I've had anxiety since I was born, but this depression thing is new - lucky me... :P I've been missing work and all kinds of other commitments because I don't care, I have no energy, and I just can't *DO* anything. (FYI: I'm already on an SSRI and in therapy, but DAMN this is fucking hard!)

Heather Reid

ive recently got out of a toxic friendship which most people ive told describe it as emotional abuse, and although I'm so happy ive got rid of him, I still feel so much anxiety over it, we were a friend group and the other people feel the same way. I find myself having panic attacks and nightmares about the horrible things he said and done to me and I'm really struggling to cope, ive told my therapist about this but she just brushes it off, do you have any advice?

kymmie

I don't get it. I love my new job and made some new friends but my mental health is struggling. I just feel really down. I don't know what to do or how to deal with it. I am not sure if the dark and the 2 hour journey is making things worse. It just feels like a big dark cloud is on me.

Jennifer Hall
>>3042389

Just wanted this to add on: Is she trying to assess me? It's honestly stressing me out. I don't want to see eating disorder above everything else I have. PTSD, depression, anxiety, depersonalization??, anyway I am fearful of seeing another thing on my medical profile. It's damn near impossible to see her because it's Kaiser and I can't switch. What am I supposed to do in the next month??

Katie Cranwell

Does anxiety sometimes manifest itself as hyperactivity? if I have a particularly stressful event coming up I go all antsy and hyped up, can't sleep very much and I try to get really organised trying to clean my house, do my washing and get all admin out the way before the event. I also have an extremely strict routine I have to stick to during this time as well. This occurs about a week or so prior to the anxiety provoking event. Is this normal?

Kati Morton
>>3040654

Hey Kirbie :) I answered your question in the livesteam.. i think you were able to catch it.. and I hope my answer was helpful :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3041456

I think sometimes we have to take time to think about why it is we have certain expectations for our recovery... do you feel it's taking too long? What is too long? What do you think it says about you that this is taking the time it's taking? Also, considering how long it took for us to notice something was wrong and get help... cause our issues aren't formed overnight and so our recovery won't either!! I think talking about this and working on being more kind to yourself can really help. Maybe even end each day with 5 things you are proud of or are thankful for. This may help you stay positive and slowly stop with the guilt and judgement :) I hope that helps honey!! xoxo I am proud of you for taking the time you need to recover. I know it's not easy.. and it just proves how strong you are :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3042389

My guess was that she was assessing your situation and what to work on first. I don't think she would only let you work on the ED stuff.. since my guess is that the ED is really there because of the PTSD. If she asks.. I would push to focus on that.. as long as your health is okay'd by a doctor :) If you can, maybe download my free ED workbook?!?! That can give you a place to start.. and also an idea of what it might look like to work on the ED urges. I would also keep journaling, and using other tools to get those thoughts out. xoxo Keep me posted honey!!

Kati Morton
>>3046435

Hey Tina :) It's funny to me, because that's exactly what I do to my clients!! The reason we have you read them out loud is so that you can practice using your voice to talk about the things that are hard and scary. It actually ends up taking away the power that they had over you and make them easier to process through. For some of my clients, they weren't allowed to talk about it, so just saying it is helpful :) I know it's REALLY hard.. but keep trying and saying it out loud.. it really does help. xxo

Kati Morton
>>3049395

Hey honey!! Thanks for being on the livestreams! And I am so glad they are helpful!! xoxo Congrats on being a month self-harm free!! yay!! To your question.. if you are worried that you won't say anything in the appt.. and forget what you need to tell them. Write it down and give it to them at the beginning of the session. I would even write at the top that you really want to talk, but are afraid you will forget what to say or freeze. They will understand.. and although you may not get to talk through it all in that one session, they will at least know what it is you are going through and need :) I hope that helps honey!!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3050820

I haven't had any experience with those in Utah.. but I have done equine therapy with clients when I worked at the ED clinic here in LA. They are honestly great and my clients found it helpful :) Since I don't run the equine therapy myself.. I am not sure how it really works, but it looked like you get to care for the horses and they believe that caring for something else can help us better care for ourselves :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3056911

Let's not worry unless you do get turned down honey.. but if that's the case keep at it!! Call your GP and ask again! Sometimes we have to be pushy and/or annoying to get our needs met. Don't let them tell you no when you need something!! You deserve to get help!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3056926

Hey Jana :) thank you for your sweet message! I am so glad you are finding the videos and livestreams helpful :) xoox To answer your questions: 1) In truth it doesn't sound like you are lazy at all. Just from reading your comment, it sounds like you are doing a lot and trying really hard. So I wouldn't ever think that being lazy is a concern for you (and in my experience, my clients who are struggling with laziness never worry about it). 2) It sounds like working on your need for perfection and black and white thinking could help. Does it sound like I am on the right track?? Cause you talked about things needing to be perfect, and then going from wanting to get all this stuff done, to stop caring about everything all together... I have 2 videos I want you to check out that I think can help :) xoxox

Kati Morton
>>3057035

Have you tried journaling?? Many people find journaling on your own and then bringing it into session to help us get out those things that we struggle to say out loud. Do you think that could help?? xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3057076

It is really fucking hard! I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now.. there are 2 things that come to my mind. 1) we could just take a break. Take a break from school or work, or let your friends know you are dealing with a health issue and need some time to figure it out. Whatever you need to do, to allow yourself the time to figure it out and start feeling more like yourself. 2) medication. I know you said you are on one.. but if it's been 6-8 weeks and you don't feel any better, talk to your doctor! there are SO many SSRI's and SNRI's to try.. we want to get you on one that actually helps and makes you feel better soon!! xoxo Keep me posted Haley :) xox

Kati Morton
>>3057099

I am so sorry you had to go through that honey. I would keep bringing it up in therapy and expressing how hard it is for you.. and that you are having nightmares and panic attacks. If she still brushes it off, I would look into seeing someone else. You need to have a therapist who hears you and seeks to work with you on what is bothering you. If she can't do that, we need to find someone who can :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3057123

I am sorry you are struggling right now :( It could definitely be the fact that it does get darker earlier.. or the 2 hour journey. If you are on medication I would talk to your doctor and see if they can increase or change it. Often in winter months we need an increase in our antidepressant because of the seasonal change. I have many clients who increase during these months, and maybe that would help. Also, making sure you are still doing things to take care of yourself. Pushing ourselves too hard can make us feel worse too. xoxo

Heather Reid
>>3057099

Thankyou so much kati! It's just so annoying because I'm in the uk and all we really have for people under 18 is this thing called Camhs, it's either that or go private which my family can't afford, but il keep pushing! Thankyou for everything you do, I appreciate it so much xxxx

Jana S.
>>3056926

Hey Kati!! Thank you so much!! You're probably right and I found the videos as well as your answer quite helpful! Thank you! :) It really means a lot to me (and probably also everyone else on here) to have the opportunity to get tipps from someone as competent and sympathetic as you. I really adore you for just being you and bringing that much greatness in the world. I really just wish only the best for you and hope everything is going great for you!! xxxxx Jana

Brittanyann
>>3039568

I really appreciate it and I PROMISE I won't run into you at your coffee shop haha. I live all the way down in Florida. :)

Keely Pearmain
>>3049395

Thank you so much Kati, I'm going to try and do that. I'm not entirely sure what this assessment is, they have said to allow 2-3 hours for the appointment! Eeeek! I'm trying to get a friend to go with me so that I don't chicken out while am in the waiting room. I know I've had therapy but this feels like it's a hundred times worse because it's the next step I suppose. Thanks for your help x I'll see you on the next live stream xx

Kati Morton
>>3057428

Hey Katie :) This is completely normal, and yes it can be part of anxiety, but in my experience, it can also be part of OCD. I am not sure if you are seeing a therapist or psychiatrist, but I would let them know that this is how you cope with stressful situations. They can assess you further :) Many of my clients have found headspace (10 min meditations) to help, breathing techniques, and also medication :) Let me know what you find out and what helps!! xoxo

Mags

I feel like its a good thing i'm missing the live feeds on a friday (night my time), It means im getting out or at least seeing people.

Rachel Rae

Hi kati, I wasn't sure where to post for Friday's livestream (25th) so I'll just post here and hope for the best :) I have 10 free sessions with my psychologist, I only have 4 more sessions to go.....we are currently working on some self monitoring techniques which requires me to record a food and excercise diary. I'm actually finding this to be more triggering and drive my eating disorder habits, is this normal? Do things get worse before they get better? The anticipation of the dreaded meal plan is also influencing me to try and loose as much weight as possible beforehand....the thought of having to eat every three hours is making me want to quit recovery, how can I rationalise with myself? Will a dietician take an individual's preference into consideration?

Hailey

Hey dunno if I can post here for the live stream 25th,how can I remind myself that even though I have been making progress and I think that I'm totally fine but actually I'm still not in a safe non risky place

Hailey
>>3115082

I've been making a lot of process reached out for the first time to my pdoc/therapist a couple weeks ago I ran out of anxiety meds and I knew I needed them to stay safe which is a first for me. Also noticed I've been talking waay more recently without her prompting me. Then I had an awful panic attack this week when I was out which is the first time and I that point where I'm paralysed and sobbing meds are my only option, was on public transport and barely made it off the train but called my mum to pick me up then called my support worker and she was free to just talk me through stuff and calm me down enough so I can go upto the platform and meet my mum

Hailey
>>3115082

All this progress makes me feel that I'm fine now but I think I'm just hiding behind this I'm busy and stuff when it's just allowing things to build up. I don't think it's me missing being in a bad place... It's just so fucking confusing to realise that those steps that were huge for me doesn't mean I'm there yet and i still have a long way to go:/ the anxiety this week is a side effect of the sleep med/antidepressant I'm taking which is really common for me when changing dosage to get super anxious

Hailey
>>3115082

Also what was weird was my mum seeing me in a panic attack my parents didn't know I still have panic attacks and how bad they can get tho that was one of the worst ones I have not sure how I feel about letting them in ik it's progress but it just feels a lot

Emily Williams

My counselor doesn't like to diagnose. Is that normal? I really want to just have a name for my struggles. I have physical chronic illness problems that don't have a name so it would be really comforting to have a name for my problems.

Amy
>>3115216

Hi Emily. I think it's really common. I have seen more than 10 people (some one off, some longer term), only one diagnosed me with a condition but only when I asked. I think it's comforting to know as well but from MH professional point-of-view it seems that they would prefer to only disclose if it will be helpful for clients

Mags
>>3041456

Thankyou. Your advice has helped a lot. I'm trying to be more honest with myself and my care team. Last couple of weeks has been back in crisis. I just need to accept it's going to take a while to get better