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LiveStream this Saturday on YouNow! At 1pm PST! (Patreon)

Published:
2016-12-01 19:51:04
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

Leave your questions for the livestream below! I will get to them every 15 mins and get through as many as I can :) See you all then! xox 

Comments

Jennifer Hall

Woohoo! Another livestream!! Q: How do we "get it together"? I feel like it's getting harder to keep everything in my life align and together. Therapy appointments are completely sporadic for me so I am kind of alone when things resurface. I am struggling with time management and deadlines along with the struggles of mental health. How do we get that kind of thing working? -- I'm asking how to manage time and deadlines when our mental health is not going well. Thanks!

Jana S.
>>3169470

Hey Jennifer! :) This is such a great question - I'm in the same situation and I know there are several others struggling with exactly this task of just "managing life" (I always call it self organisation) as well. (You're not alone!! ;D) My university (well, the "psychosocial counseling center" of the uni) actually offers a self-help group for people who struggle with time managment and organisation and adhering to deadlines. Maybe there is some place that offers something alike in your area? I really like the group and don't feel so alone with these kind of issues, because of it. Eventhough I feel like it does make a difference, if you have to deal with a mental illness on top of the "time management problems" on their own. Mental illnesses just make everything so "unpredictable", because obviously we can't "plan" when our next anxiety attack, depression or other kind of "episodes" turn up or how well we will be able to perform on a certain day in the near future..... :/ (The group still helps a lot, because it does give me tools to at least give my life some kind of structure once in a while, even if I have to start over and over again..^^) So Kati, if you do have any ideas about this, I guess LOADS of people could profit from it!! ;D And don't give up Jennifer. We're going to get through this and will be able to get better, even if we can only do baby steps. :) xx

Tina

Yayyy!! Live streams make me so happy! Fingers crossed I can make this one!! My question is - my psychiatrist is going on holidays and I have to see someone else for a tiny bit - it wasn't even a planned thing because I originally didn't even need this extra appointment, which is now being added because 'he could see I am struggling.' I tend to shut down and not open up to new people. Do you have any tips on how I can make the most out of these next appts? And how do we deal in general with the holiday period when our health teams go on holidays and there are so many new faces everywhere?? Thank you so much! You are amazing 😘

Jana S.

Hey Kati :) Since I'm looking for a new therapist right now and have to get into some new first sessions with the new therapists, I would like to know what you think I could do to prepare myself for these "getting to know each other sessions". I do have quite a lot of experience seeing therapists, but I just don't want to make the same mistake again and start working with a therapist, that may isn't the right fit for me... How can I make sure I get the information I need from these sessions? And how do I actually know what information that is? :S (Maybe you could also do a video about this. This might be a rather broad question.. I don't know. Anyone else interested in this?!^^) And a smaller second question I have: How do you differentiate between self-harm and impulse control disorder (mainly BFRBs - body focused repetitive disorders like dermatillomania, trichotillomania,..). Because in the end I do "hurt" myself quite badly when I ruin my skin and I'm just not sure anymore if it's dermatillomania or if I am actually self-harming… Thanks for everything you do! Unfortunately I won't be able to be online Saturday evening, but I will definitely watch the livestream on Sunday. I really love watching your videos and livestreams and getting all your opinions and answers about topics that are so interesting. And I also love the fact that what you do gives space for all these people around the globe to connect and talk about mental health. It's just amazing and I still can't thank you enough. I hope you keep enjoying all of this as much as you do now. And have a great weekend!! :) Jana

Em

Hi Kati :). I'm in PHP for an ED. My therapist there told me the fact I left her 3 voice messages over a Friday - Monday when it was closed was alarming. I have been debating stopping treatment and that's what my messages were about, one saying I wanted to stop, one saying I don't want to and never mind, and one asking if that was ok. She also told me she didn't respond to teach me distress tolerance. My ED behaviors were much worse that week as I was so upset. What do you think about what she said? They assigned me a new therapist but I still feel hurt and have to see her in group. She apparently told the treatment team she was setting boundaries with me. But my therapist outside of treatment who I can't see while I'm PHP lets me email her and is great about responding. Is there something wrong with me?

Mags

Hi Kati, At the moment i'm struggling with my eating. I'm not diagnosed with an eating disorder, but i see my disordered eating as a symptom of my other mental health issues. I've been eating well for a couple of weeks, its been taking more effort than i really have to give which has lead to not eating at all and then in the last few days serious bingeing. So i guess i wonder how to talk about this with my care team. I have brought it up before, I was even assessed (half an assessment, i dissociated during it) by an eating disorder specialist. It gets brushed off, i do think its more than just depression, in binges i feel like i can't calm down till ive eaten everything i can. I don't leave the house alone because of my dissociation, but ive done so to buy binge food, the urges are that overwelming. I live alone, there no need to hide this from anyone but i still find it makes me feel like i need to. I've also been obsessively keeping track of what i'm eating and restricting. I'm sure theres a qquestion here somewhere. Yes, how an an overweight person do i get my care team to understand its not okay that i'm going days without eating because of my mental state and then bingeing when i'm really stressed out. I also have diabetes so its really unsafe for me but i can't seem to control it.

Hailey

Two questions. get ready for the long rant. so first, I'm in treatment, when I started I was referred for suicidal ideation, at that point I was told i couldn't be depressed because i have ok times but idk if I agree with it. just had a shitty year with camhs which did not help at all. Either way, now I'm seeing a psychiatrist weekly who is amazing and been with me for over a year now but I​ feel I've​ developed more disorders, now I​ have anxiety depression suicidal/sh tendencies​ and insomnia​ and like the sessions are just too short to​ get through everything, i avoid talking about my eating even though ik its been getting worse and if I do mention it it'll​ be in the context of panic attacks or something so we don't​ get to speak about it. just feel like 50mins is just too short and I​ don't​ think he can give me an extra app.. but I do feel like I​ need more support now. the only time I've​ seen him twice a week was when we predicted that I​ will be at higher suicidal risk... basically, idk what to do and i want to speak to him about it but then we don't​ get through anything else that also feels important:/

Hailey

literally I think I'm writing something short but it turns to be so long.. recently I've made so tiny steps that are huge for me in therapy, I managed to call my friend to get me through a horrible panic attack whilst I was on public transport so I could move and go to my dad who was picking me up. plus it meant it was the first time he saw me in a panic attack, I was just sobbing and frozen so not sure how I feel about that. I managed to call my clinic to get some more meds for my anxiety which I never normally call them or just noticing in therapy I'm doing so much more of the talking, when I started I probably said like 15 words and nodded to say yes or no. also being able to manage my suicidal ideation better idk if that's due to discovering that I just need to deal with them pharmacologically. All these are firsts for me and I recognise that I've been able to reach out for help more. Then my thinking goes to omg I've​ made so much progress I don't​ need to be in therapy when actually I​ still I'm in risk. I​ still get strong suicidal thoughts but its hard to put those two pieces of information together emotionally/mentally. how do I start accepting that the progress​ is a good step but its only the tip of the iceberg​ of the amount of therapy I​ still need when it feels like I've​ made these huge steps?

Rachel Rae

Hey kati, I have been practicing some self help and monitoring techniques with my therapist for my eating disorder but I feel like all these food diaries and exercise logs are in fact driving my bad habits and causing me to obsess more and have only highlighted my extreme routines and rituals that I didn't see before and so now if something is slightly different to my "usual" routine I freak out as I notice it more. My question is: how do we know when something becomes more harmful then helpful and should I bail with the self help/monitoring or should I battle on? thanks so much for all your advice and videos, hope you have a great weekend :) xox

Michelle

Hi kati, what do you think of 'mindfullness classes' I was forced to do one at work but it made me panic and I felt like all my emotions was too much to cope with in a room full of other co-workers. Should I be more open minded to try it again?

Anne G

Hi Kati. I'm the one who was unsure whether I would get a psychiatrist because they turn down so many. Good news - I got in! Anyway, I have a question. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia. I talked to my brother about it, and he has a lot of the same symptoms I have. We also suspect that our mom has it, but how do we bring it up to her? We don't really want to be like "hey we think you have depression"

Mags

Hi Kati, I'm hoping its okay to that i'm double dipping on the questions this week. I just recieved the results of my DES-II test (Dissociative experience scale test, i'm assuming this is something used in the US as well as here in the UK) and i'm struggling to find information on what that means for diagnosis. All the letter says is "...with a score of 37 placing you in the high range, experience of dissociation will need to be further explored in therapy...". I'm currently on a waiting list for therapy in the UK, it was supposed to start a couple of months ago but has been further delayed as i am now on the waiting list to see an abuse specialist rather than a general therapist. I am currently diagnosed with BPD (only recently and i dont think thats correct) however guidence i have found online suggests this score indicates a dissociative disorder. Would you be able to discuss the process of diagnosis for dissocitive disorders, all i can find is referance to something called SCID-D but no link to these questions ect. Also, I was having a think about a previous guest you had who talked about disability benifits available in the US and i wondered if it would be helpful for someone to talk about what was available in the UK if you ever get questions about that. I have been through the process successfully (although i have a review on Monday, which i'm not looking forward to), I also have support workers, and social care which all needs to be applied for and is quite complicated. I can't guarentee i'm going to be well on any given day but I am happy to try if its something that would help the community. the biggest help i've had in being unwell with my mental health is feeling like i'm not alone. Thanks

Em
>>3172311

I am so glad you asked this question as I have the same problem. I'm in a treatment center for my eating disorder and seem to be the only one who finds all the monitoring of what we eat to lead to turning into a new obsession.

Amy

Hi Kati. I don't know if you will get to this question during the livestream, but I am more than happy if you can answer by replying to this comment too. :) I am dating someone, we have been together for about 5 months. I am often worried about the relationship due to attachment issue (anxious-avoidant), e.g., him being disloyal or that he doesn't seem to put much effort into the relationship as I do. I worry about our future together, if it can last and cultural issues, just everything really. Is it always going to be this way for my relationships? How do I fix an anxious-avoidant attachment?

Keely Pearmain

Hi Kati, I told you before about the secondary mental health assessment I had a couple of weeks ago. The assessment in itself was ok, they upped my meds and put me on more waiting lists. I expected it to be a 1-1 but there was a student there aswell. She went through my childhood asking questions but every time she asked anything that was pretty loaded I just said 'I don't know' Part of me didn't want to go in there all guns blazing saying that I'm suicidal and self harming (again.... I was doing so well) I'd rather be introvert opposed to be accused of attention seeking. Well, I received a letter containing the ins and outs of the assessment, and it doesn't reflect on what I wanted to put across at all. I just need some help. I can't do this all on my own anymore, I'm at the point where I'm not expecting to wake up in the morning and I don't want to feel like this. I try to reach out for help and it's as though nobody wants to help me and there's another brick wall put up. I will put the work In and want to try so badly but it's as though I'm a lost cause. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've recently lost what I thought was a good friendship aswell. I constantly push people away. The worst thing is that I know what I need (someone to help me challenge my thought process, and to tell me when I'm wrong so that I can change things) I just can't get it. I'm sorry for the rant x and I know that this isn't really a question. I just feel so lost x also I'm sorry that I'll miss the live stream again :-( I'm being dragged on a night out that I am seriously dreading. I just want to hide and not go but it's an old friends birthday and I know that everyone will think bad of me If I don't go. I can't deal with anymore guilt at the moment xx

Hailey

hey sorry for more questions, it's more feedback of the live streams tho. I get really claustrophobic when there's loads of people I​ love the live stream but been feeling like its just too many people​ which is amazing but it gets my anxiety up. Not sure of a solution but just thought to let you know.

Hailey

Also had really bad panic attacks last night which literally went on for hours, the dipping part of it was barely a dip it was just the strong unsafe feeling. My bro found me and called my mum which was perfect timing, called the crisis team in the UK, absolutely useless hate them so fucking much but decided to try just that I can say I have. they decided I oded on my benzos which is shit I​ wasn't​ even half the daily dose. Called an ambulance​ went in, saw a mh person kept trying to say that right now I don't​ feel safe to go home and I​ don't​ think i can stay safe until the weekend. he decided i was safe and discharged me. i readmitted myself to the er then I​ saw thins mh person which needs to be fired, she didn't​ read my notes or listened to me just kept shouting at me that a panic attack​ isn't​ an emergency, ignoring the fact I​ clearly was saying I have these really bad panic attacks, I don't​ think I'll be safe over the next day. All she did was yell at me that if I want to od is my life decision and I cannot come in for that, saying that's why I'm seeing a therapist and that I should not think of wasting the use of their services again. literally​ so traumatised​ by that experience I don't​ know where I can get help out of hours. I've barely started being able to reach out for help when I don't feel safe... I can't communicate with the crisis team as everyone I've had contact with has a strong foreign accent, I don't understand​ them and the don't understand me... idk just ranting and don't​ know how to go about it. I sent an email to my therapist explaining it all and telling her that we are getting this woman fired. hopefully i can have a full session with her on monday..

Siobhan

Should we change the language around suicide? as commit suicide implies that it is a crime

Lauren_E

I have recently be looking at your ED videos because I feel like I might have developed one and one of your videos says that if you think you have one you probably do. But like how long does it have to be to be considered an eating disorder? Like in January for a while I was having issues with eating enough but when I went home for spring break I didn't want my family to know about it so I kind of stopped. and then started again when i got back to school but there were some side effects that were a little concerning so again I was able to stop. Now I am really stressed and I am kind of slipping back into not eating enough. I know I am using it as a coping skill which is why I think that it is an ED but at the same time I feel like I can turn it off and more times than not I eat normally. I guess I am wondering if I am just really prone to having a full-blown ED or if I already have one?

Lauren_E
>>3200342

Thank you Carys! Yes, I have seen them, but honestly it didn't really click until just watch it again so thanks again for sharing the link! I guess I don't want to believe that I have an ED, so I feel like I needed to actually hear it from someone else to accept it. I feel like its also hard to ask for help when I am not using it to cope because then I think I don't have one and since it is relatively new I've had more time not using it than using it so it seems like it's not real. But as Kati says EDs are sneaky and they lie. I know I use other coping mechanisms when I don't use food because I cycled through other unhealthy coping mechanisms but eating is a newer one for me.

Kati Morton
>>3170393

Hey Jana :) I actually have a video about how to find the right type of therapist.. see if it helps a bit. If not, let me know :) xoxo <a href="https://youtu.be/SEejDWf1viM" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/SEejDWf1viM</a> As for your second question, I would differentiate them by where they came from. Is it the build up of anxiety like you have to pull the hairs or pick your skin? Or is the goal to harm yourself? Take some time to think about that.. and you should get your answer. xoxo I am so glad you are enjoying the videos and livestreams!!! Thank you so much for being a Patreon Patron!! xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3170438

No there isn't anything wrong with you... it's actually just confusing because your two therapists have different boundaries and rules with you. I would try to work through your feelings of upset with the therapist at the PHP program.. so that you don't mind seeing her during group and you can ask her what is okay and not okay and explain why you didn't think there was anything wrong with leaving voicemails. I do see both sides, as a therapist, because we want you to use your tools when you aren't able to see us, and so it sounds like that is what she was hoping you would do. But please speak up and talk about it.. that's the fastest way to start feeling better. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3170701

Could you show them this comment?? I know it's hard when we are not underweight (Ugh that stupid stigma as to what an ED has to look like.. so frustrating!!) to get the help that we so desperately need, but I would ask if you would be assessed again. Also, mention your struggle with dissociation and see if you can split your assessment into 2 days or use grounding techniques while there (ie. putty, tangle toy, etc). And make sure you mention the part about diabetes, and your obsessive logging of what you eat and restrict. I honestly think if you could just print out this comment and bring it in.. they will take you seriously. I would just ask again for more help. xoxo Keep me posted on this okay?? xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3171967

Do you have the option for double sessions? I do that with clients when I feel they need more support, we are considering a higher level of care, or are going through a rough patch. See if he can do that.. and if not, maybe bring in a list of things you want to talk about over the next few sessions.. that way it won't feel so wasted and you will know that he has the list of what is bothering you and what you want to work on. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3172115

maybe reading back in old journals or putting up reminder post it or drawings to help you realize you are making progress but you still need help. I find if they are things we read each day we slowly start to remember and believe them. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3172311

In truth.. I don't do those because I feel that they do become obsessions and end up doing more harm than good. Whenever we feel compelled (just like our ed felt) to do something, it's no longer helpful. I would bring this up in session and push to stop using them. ASk for other ways to help.. like talking back to the ED voice daily, journaling, etc. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3175670

Mindfulness isn't for everyone.. but it can be really beneficial when working to feel our emotions and body and better manage them. I don't really think it's helpful in a room full of co-workers, but I think trying it again at another time in a much safer place could feel better :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3176857

YAY!! That is great news :) You could just talk to her about your diagnosis.. and what symptoms you have. She may pick up on it from there.. but if she doesn't, it is honestly up to her to notice her struggle and get support. You could say, I feel we struggle with a lot of the same stuff.. she could agree or disagree, and in truth, we have to leave it at that. She will get help when she is ready for it. Oh and once you are on medication or using tools and feeling better, you could talk about that too. She may realize she has been depressed for a long time and want to feel good like you :) Just another idea :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3189579

Yes we definitely should!! It will take some time though.. and practice (from me especially!) Good idea! xxo

Kati Morton
>>3188201

Maybe interacting on here is better for you :) Or on YouTube so it doesn't feel so overwhelming. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3189768

It does sound like you already have one.. and I know it's hard to admit it or accept it. i am so glad that Carys send over those links.. cause sometimes we just have to watch it again and give ourselves time to accept that the way we interact with food is disordered and we need help. xoxo Because the truth of it is that if we use food to cope or control our food intake when not feeling our best.. it's an ED. I hope my free workbook is helpful and you are able to see a therapist and start talking about this asap :) xxoo It does get better and we can overcome it!

Hailey
>>3171967

hey thank for all the comments. just been having crazy month, mainly yay to serotogenic medication which gets me to a ridiculous​ anxious level that I​ cant control. went to er twice since friday once for feeling unsafe during panic attacks and the other i hadnt eaten and stuff esp had a really bad expirience at the er. working with my therapist to make a complaint etc. but had a really usefull session today basically just after i came back from er, just went through what happened and what i can do/my parents and had my dad come in for the last 20 mins so we can go through it with him. got the idea from your vids as he was anyway with me and my parents felt helpless on the weekends when what weve been told to do wasnt working. idk if that makes sense, but had a longer session and sorted out my meds i think then ive met my therapists junior so i feel more comfortable being able to speak to her or see her if i need to

Kati Morton
>>3178306

In truth, I don't specialize in dissociative disorders.. you can check out my video about DID for info about that specific diagnosis. I can try to look into it for you, but I just don't want to give you bad info. I would ask those questions of the place who did the assessment.. in the US they usually give you your results and then you go through them with a therapist who can tell you what they mean or give you a guide to read more about it. As for disability benefits.. I am always open to ideas of how to share that info!!! I did a video about it in the states with Jayden and he shared his experience. I would love to do one about the UK.. I can send you the questions and you can film them at your leisure and get them back to me :) How does that sound?? xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3178306

Keep me posted on this okay.. sorry I don't specialize in dissociative disorders.. I will ask at my next peer meeting to see what I can find :) xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3184060

Hey Amy :) The best way to fix attachment is to work with an attachment or trauma therapist. That way you are able to work through all of the worries, anxieties and issues that come up in a safe space. Also, groups can be really really helpful :) I know we want to work through it in our current relationships, but that doesn't always work best because they don't know how to respond to us in a healthy way and offer up tips on how to work through it. I would definitely talk with your therapist (if you have one.. if not, I would look into that asap) about it and know that it can get better with the right support. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3185923

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time.. is there another way to ask for help?? Or another assessment?? Or can you email or bring in a letter?? If you previously say a therapist or went to the hospital can you have them send in their notes/assessments??? Those are just ideas that I have.. thanks for keeping me posted. Know that you are not a lost cause or alone in this. We will figure it out. xoxo Hang in there honey!!! xoxo

Jana S.
>>3170393

Hey Kati! :) Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately your video about the different types of therapy doesn't help me with this. I do have to see a cbt therapist, since I'm changing therapists and my insurance only allows me to take along the sessions I didn't do with my old therapist, if the new therapist is a cbt therapist as well. So my question didn't concern the type of therapy, but more the personal qualities needed to be able to establish the needed and seemingly so important "therapist-patient-relationship"... :/ :S I hope you got better by now! If not, get well soon!! And thanks for doing all of this, I can't imagine how much work this must be for you. Don't forget to take care of yourself first. xxxx

Kati Morton
>>3188391

I hope you get a full session on monday too honey. i am so sorry you are having such a hard time :( have you tried any online resources??? Like talklife or 7cupsoftea?? Those are operated by other people like you and maybe just knowing someone is listening and is there will help :) xoxo

Keely Pearmain
>>3185923

Hi Kati thanks for your reply, I could go to the hospital and see the crisis team but I'm scared that if I do that then they will admit me, even though I'm really struggling at work I still need to go in, nobody supports me so if I don't work I have no income at all.

Lauren_E
>>3189768

Thank you so much Kati! I will definitely check out your ED workbook! I've used your SH workbook before and it was great! I am in the middle of switching therapists because I am at school, but I am graduating next week if I can hold myself together, my brain cooperates, and get all my work in haha. So I will tell my therapist when I go home about it!

Mags
>>3178306

Thankyou so much. Absolutely send me the questions and I'll do my best as and when. Things were bad today but I'm here checking messages, getting support and I ate an actual meal twice today. Whenever the dissociation gets bad I feel really suicidal as it drags up trauma or maybe the other way around but I'm following my crisis plan and thank goodness for the distraction of Netflix binge watching

Kati Morton
>>3178306

Of course! I will message them to you tomorrow :) That way it gives you plenty of time to film, consider your answers, etc :) xoxo Oh yes! Netflix can be such a great distraction!! xoxo I am proud of you for hanging in there, reaching out and eating properly :) oxox

kymmie

Kati I started my new job. And I got chatting with the new supervisor and we talked about my mental health, But It seems she then told my manager. I don't know how comfortable I feel with this. Can they get rid of me because I have depression? I have not had any time off yet and I even worked through being physically ill. Just worried as I love the job but obviously I cannot control my mental health.

Carrie Pilkington

katie hi im new to this ,ive just started 3 session in of cbt ,ive had year of ill health started feb gallbladderout depresion sespsis more surgery fibermyloga,bladder problem from sespsis ,im also a child surivou rof abuse, im worried when i start talking about abuse will i go back into out of my body feeling when i speak about this xx thanks

Kati Morton
>>3248148

Hey Carrie :) Welcome to Patreon!! Thanks for supporting the channel :) It can be hard to talk about trauma & abuse, and it does sometimes cause us to dissociate (out of body feeling). I would let your therapist know that you struggle with that, and they can teach you some grounding techniques as well as maybe go slower with you so you can calm yourself down as you talk about it. xoxo Keep me posted!!! I am so glad you are getting help, and know that you get to move at a pace that feels good to you. xoxo

Kati Morton
>>3246096

I am so sorry she told your manager.. and no they cannot get rid of you!! It's against the law (at least here in California). It would be discrimination! I wouldn't worry about it.. and if it's upsetting to you, I would let your supervisor know that it's private, and ask that they not tell everyone about it. xoxo

Kuroke

Could you tell us a little more about what it is like and what schooling it takes to become a therapist/psychologist?what it is like going through the classes? Thank you, Kati!! I just love your videos, and I love supporting you!

Kuroke

P.s. just joined Patreon about two days ago.