Out of time (Patreon)

I have an interesting day today, a leisurely morning brought me to a coffee shop near my house to work. On the way here, I looked at Paris, with my eyes wide open, even without music in my ears, as if absorbing everything around me. This moment seemed so unreal to me, as if I floated down the street, as if I was out of time. And such a familiar path turned out to be the way to reflection.

Sitting now in a coffee shop, I was composing a model book for the agency.

Someone would have told me 3 years ago that I would be sitting in a coffee shop in Paris, in a city that managed to become my home, and I would try new ways to get to know myself, to know myself in modeling... honestly, I would laugh 😃

Once my mother had a dream, she was sure that I was created to be a model.

I wouldn't mind her confidence now. It was in my childhood, how many things have changed and how I would like to tell her about it now...

It took me more than 10 years for me to get back to this, for me to get back to myself? I used to say that it's not serious, that I don't need it all. What if that's what I need? I'm so afraid of rejection that I don't even try all these years. Well, life is an interesting thing.

It's the first time since I moved to Paris, I'm starting to feel like I'm here. Not passing by, not by accident. I'm here and that's my life. I'm writing this to you with tears in my eyes, it's so important to me.

And I am grateful for everything that brought me to this point, to the point where I finally begin to feel real.