Dispatch One Hundred and Seven, April 30th, 2026

Greetings WHM Family!

Welcome to the Big Daddy Dispatch for May where we’re starting off with a kick-ass live show announcement! This August, WHM is hitting Vegas for the very first time for our VERY FIRST fan convention to celebrate 10 amazing years of The Nexus at ST: LV! The only way to do a convention this big is with the three BIGGEST Star Trek movies encapsulating both halves of the Nexus (TOS & TNG)! We’ll be talking Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on Thursday, Star Trek: Generations on Friday, and then finishing it off with Star Trek: First Contact on Saturday! The line must be drawn HERE! And the cool part is, you don’t need to be a convention attendee to come see the show, it’s ticked separately! So, if you want to pick up tickets, check out this page for all the details! We can’t wait to see you all there!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: ST: LV Nexus Anniversary image by Felipe Sobreiro

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 856 – The Departed (2006) (Patrons Only)

To kick off Remakril, our month of lousy remakes, we started with our dessert and talked about a good one! We shipped up to Boston (not really) to infiltrate the police department and Jack Nicholson’s all-powerful microprocessor thief gang. How does this stack up next to its original, Infernal Affairs? Is this the last great wild-man performance for Jack? Is this one of Marty’s funniest movies despite its grim view of corruption? MVP goes to Martin Sheen for the way he says “microprocessors.”

Episode 857 – Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Andrew, Eric, and Steve went back out to the suburbs and got caught up in a zombie apocalypse that sent them fleeing for...the mall...not unlike the one that occurs in George A. Romero’s masterwork of the same name. Why does the larger cast not translate into better/cooler deaths? Answer me, Zack! Was there any way Ving Rhames wasn’t going to walk away with this movie tucked under his arm? Does Zack Snyder listen to Richard Cheese while he’s working out or what? That’s what you need to get truly shredded.

Episode 858 – The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

Andrew, Eric, Chris and Steve finally came face-to-face with one of cinema’s most infamous disasters: the Stanley-Frankenheimer Frankenstein-movie meant to be the third or so adaptation of H.G. Wells’ The Island of Doctor Moreau, starring an eccentric Marlon Brando and a pissed-off and checked-out Val Kilmer. ::Robert Deniro voice:: How did you let this happen? No, seriously, who actually thought this was going to go well and be financially worthwhile? Has an actor ever cared less than Kilmer in this movie? Can we at least get some public sympathy for poor David Thewlis and Fairuza Balk being sucked into this nightmare? Good effects, make-up, and production design tho, to be fair.           

Episode 859 – City of Angels (1998)

The gang died and got help from boring angel Nicolas Cage as he considers becoming mortal to awkwardly boink Doctor Meg Ryan and become weekend buds with fellow former angel, Dennis Franz. Who opens a movie with kid-death and doesn’t make it a running motif? Was that Nic Cage’s dick in the shower scene? Is Dennis Franz stealing this whole damn movie? Rarely has a movie had a big scene in a library and has made one want to actually be in a library rather than continuing on with the movie.

Episode 860 – Robocop (2014)

Remakril finally concluded as the fellas hit the streets of Detroit 2028, where a new, much worse RoboCop seeks vengeance for the people who destroyed his beautiful Joel Kinnemann body. Is Samuel L. Jackson the only one who came to class having done his homework? Who else but Gary Oldman has the incredible range to play both Doctor Norton and Commissioner Gordon? Does this movie think it’s a satire? If so, I really think they should watch Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop, just to see where you want to be tonally.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies-related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: 

To Be the Best (1993): Your classic D-grade kickboxing movie that’s available to stream in-full on YouTube. It stars Michael Worth and Martin Kove as a son and father, respectively, who set out to stop a crooked business-ish-man from fixing a kickboxing tournament in Las Vegas. It’s an outrageous movie that literally starts with a guy being dangled above Vegas by a helicopter. Wild, wild stuff. Recommended as a late-night, doob-tacular screening. 

Windy City Heat (2003):It’s a comedy directed by Bobcat Goldthwait where the conceit is basically everyone in the movie is in on the joke that everything that happens throughout filming this “documentary” is fake, including the movie within the doc that they make, Windy City Heat. The hook is that the “star” of the “film”, Perry Caravello, was supposedly the only guy who didn’t know it was fake. There are parts where the film achieves a kind of Jackass-ish prank vibe, but other times, these guys are going so over the top, it just feels so totally phony. I’m a big Bobcat supporter (he’s actually really funny in the film as the director who won’t stop talking through a megaphone), but this just didn’t work for me due to some of the cast’s inability to successfully fake the funk. It’s fake. Right?

Deathstalker (2025): I’m a fan, or enough of a fan, of those original first two, so I was stoked to check this out. I’m happy to report that it totally delivers. Gory, funny, practical effects everywhere. The guy playing Deathstalker, Daniel Bernhardt, is perfect for the role and gets the assignment. It’s a fun time. Although, thinking back on those 80’s incarnations of Deathstalker, yeah, this should've been sleazier. 

Mimic (1997): I picked up the KinoLorber 4K because it’s got the GDT Cut on there and I honestly think it flows a little better. There’s a lot of GDT’s DNA in the film, despite Harvey and Bob’s best efforts to derail his American debut. It’s not a perfect film, Jeremy Northam is outrageously out of place here, but it’s still a recommend. If you’re not a fan of the butchered theatrical, give the Director’s Cut a spin!

The Killer (1989) / Hard Boiled (1992): Two absolutely fantastic John Woo/Chow Yun-Fat collabs now available on 4K thanks to Shout! Studios. The transfers on these two sets are fantastic and wowza, it had been a minute since I’d seen either and they both still totally rip. Hard Boiled kind of has the upper-hand because Chow is paired with total legend, Tony Leung Chiu-wai and the final THIRTY-MINUTE action sequence in the hospital is stuff of legend. That said, The Killer is still a really beautiful film, with one of the most gutting endings to an action movie I can think of. Major recommends here if you haven’t seen these, either at all or in a while. 

Chris: 

A Poet (2025): The Colombian director Simón Mesa Soto’s second feature is completely energized by an astounding performance by Ubeimar Rios in his inaugural performance as a drunk, poor poet who nearly gets a second wind when he finds a talented young poet in the local high school who he calamitously takes under wing. To a lesser degree, Rebeca Andrade, who plays his new protégé, is also excellent, but what bumps this up from okay to pretty good is the way that Soto presses a vast vision of what the title profession means at its best and worst, mostly worst. Soto’s imagery does not crystallize the drama as much as say Uncut Gems but the spiral downward here is finely etched by Soto and brilliantly summoned to life by the cast.

The Sands of the Kalahari (1965): I have been very sick over the last two months and I am not accustomed to being sick that often. Aside from Covid, I have a very strong record of only getting congested once or twice a year, and that’s held since pre-WHM days. Getting older comes with its negatives, as I have been told. One of the positives about feeling lethargic as hell is that you watch a bunch of stuff, and I took the moment to dig into some of the lesser-known pulp movies of the great American-living-in-Britain director, Cy Endfield, the man behind Hell Drivers and the wild Lloyd Bridges-vehicle The Sound of Fury (Try and Get Me!). Much like how his Argyle Secrets is a far more thrilling and nastier version of The Maltese Falcon, this sturdy and brutal survival tale brings all the levels up on a quasi-similar story as Flight of the Phoenix, which came out the same year, at least for the first 30-40 minutes. What follows is also just an overall more psychologically threatening tale of a handful of plane crash survivors over Southern Africa who are slowly picked apart by a lone, paranoid psychopath with a gun who loves killing baboons. Gnarly stuff, which beats the alternative ten times out of ten.

Balls Up (2026): Dedicating one’s life to keeping abreast of everything Mark Wahlberg has ever made really is psychologically taxing work, and perhaps none of his recent work – aside from the truly grotesque Father Stu – has come close to this Peter Farrelly catastrophe. Few films feel so desperately grasping at old victories than this one from the Green Book director, who has clearly seen the current culture of depravity and indecency on high and seen dollar signs, as well as a chance to reach back to his salad days of raunchy gross-out masterpieces like There’s Something About Mary, Dumb and Dumber, and the hugely undervalued Me Myself and Irene. The problem is that 90’s Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, and Ben Stiller are all far more talented comedic performers and heartful presences than Mark Wahlberg in 2026, even with a Paul Walter Hauser performance in your pocket. Sasha Baron Cohen embarrasses himself, while Benjamin Bratt more or less steals the show as a relapsing alcoholic honcho, but stealing the show in this particular piece of shit is not exactly something you hold onto with pride, I imagine.                                                                                                                                                                                  

Eric:

Is This Thing On? (2025): Bradley Cooper continues to direct movies I actively dislike. Hey pal, stick to the cheesesteaks. 

War Machine (2025): I like Alan Ritchson in things like Reacher and the upcoming Motor City but this is such a miss. Here he plays a soldier who gets attacked by an outer space robot. Not much happens. Lots of running away from the outer space robot. 

Videoheaven (2025): When I started this I didn't realize it was just a 3 hour supercut of every video store scene in movies and television. If that sounds appealing to you, you'll probably like it. 

Vengeance (1968): Really had a great time with this Tubi treasure. It opens with a man being ripped apart by horses. Really dramatic shot. It then follows that man's brother on his quest for revenge, uh, I mean, vengeance, against the outlaws that did in his brother. Some cool gun play and knife throws in this. If you're in need of a western dadfernoon, this slick plate of spaghetti will not disappoint.

Duplicates (1982): Solid sci-fi domestic thriller schlock that was made for the USA Network wherein people are getting "duplicated" by CIA agent Lane Smith for "reasons." 

Hero and the Terror (1988): People said this was "the good one" when it comes to Chuck Norris. Well, it isn't. Chuck Norris maybe has never made a good movie. Sidekicks might be his best? And fella, that's just plain crazy.

Steve: 

Dracula 2000 (2000): When you get a rare Easter home alone away from extended family, whaddayado? Well, you watch a pair of Dracula movies. It just makes sense. He is Risen, afterall. So, we started it off with the most thematically appropriate of the bunch, the Wes Craven presented pièce de résistance that is Dracula 2000! I’m gonna be honest, my opinion is very different than it was when we did our episode all those years ago. This is stupid as hell enough to be pretty damn fun! Good? No!

Scars of Dracula (1970): We followed it up with a later period Christopher Lee Hammer picture on glorious VHS. It was fun to try to see what was happening in such poor quality! This one has the mean, old count getting his castle torched by some very annoyed villagers, who he promptly repays by slaughtering a bunch of the town’s women in the church…off screen, unfortunately. This was pretty OK. Lots of bats on strings and glorious Hammer hooters, but ultimately pretty slow and without substance. The beginning and ending are worth the price of admission. And also, of course Lee is having fun here. 

The Drama (2026): It can’t be all Dracula all the time! This one was pretty good, but not perfect, but I truly do appreciate what it’s grasping at. I’ll keep it vague here for the uninitiated, but the themes we’re talking about don’t get talked about enough in American film and it was refreshing to see them talked about at all, let alone in a black comedy context. Zendaya and Pattinson are great, but I don’t think I’m a huge fan of Kristoffer Borgli. He seems like a good ideas, but less than stellar execution kind of guy. See: Dream Scenario for further evidence of this. This is better than that, and I recommend you give it a spin and make up your own mind.

Michael Clayton (2007): The Paris Theater had this on 35mm a few weeks back and I bought tickets and re-arranged my whole week to see it. I’m glad I did. Hot damn this movie fucking rips! This time around I truly appreciated how it depicts corporate violence as a despicable, ephemeral and ever-present thing that is always off-screen. Pretty relevant! It was a fairly rowdy crowd and I’m glad this movie keeps finding its audience because it deserves it. After this screening I had to update my Letterboxd Top 4. Apologies to Batman Returns.

The Passenger Seat by Vijay Khurana: Book recommendation! This was a real stunner. Moody, beautifully written and a tight ride clocking in under 250 pages. A chilling look at two young men on a road trip, the media they consume, how it’s shaping and claiming their lives and the dangerous places it can lead.It sounds very “Cautionary Tale” but trust me it's not, it's artful and powerful and really sticks with you. I can’t recommend it enough. 

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from

David from Dayton, OH, who asks:

“What are your top 3 bucket list good or bad movies that you have yet to see on the big screen but you're dying to get to experience?”

Andrew: Okay, I’ll be here until the tricentennial trying to hammer this out, but let’s go with: Star Wars (1977, THEATRICAL CUT), Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981) and you know, Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979).

Chris: The Big Gundown (1966): Sergio Solima’s enormous, vicious Spaghetti Western is one of the best you can see without the name Leon on it, topped with one of Lee Van Cleef’s baddest performances. A colossal, violent blockbuster that I would kill to see on a big-ass 70mm print.

Essene (1972): You cannot go wrong with Frederick Wiseman on the big screen. His images are enormous and full of dense meaning and have never disappointed me, having seen his last ten on the big screen. This is a far older one, from 1972, but its view of the life of monks in a Benedictine monastery is among Wiseman’s earliest triumphs in terms of intimacy and complexity, as compared to the volcanic power of early thoroughbred masterworks like Hospital and Welfare. Fingers crossed I get to see as many of these as possible on a Big One at some point.

Household Saints (1993): Among the greatest discoveries of 2025 for me was Nancy Savoca’s 1993 wonder Household Saints, and while its neither much of an action movie nor a movie I’d call big necessarily, it’s one I’m sad I didn’t get to see it when the restoration was being done. What Savoca does is command immense emotional power in each of her stirring, inventive shots, as she details the lives of three generations of the Falconetti/Santangelo families living in Little Italy in the wake of World War II. For all the technical reasons this baby would sing on the big screen, the biggest is to see the faces of this stellar cast, including Judith Malina, Michael Rispoli, Lili Taylor, Vincent D’Onofrio, Tracey Ullman, Victor Argo, and Michael Imperioli, up close on the big screen, like the close-ups of Phoenix and Hoffman in The Master and just as combustible. 

Tusk (2014): I only recently saw this atrocity and man, I would have lost my entire mind if I had seen this on the big screen back when it was originally released. One of Smith’s absolute worst, nearly up there with The Worst Film of the 2020s Thus Far, Clerks III.

Eric: Zapruder–Just kidding. The Keep (1983), Zardoz (1974), and any theatrical cut of the original Star Wars trilogy. 

Steve: Here’s a few:

Defending Your Life (1991): Probably pound for pound my favorite movie, one that I’ve loved since I was a kid and seeing it on a nice print in a theater would probably change my life for the better. 

Rushmore (1998) or The Royal Tenenbaums (2001): These movies came out as I was loving independent cinema but before I was able to get to see them on the big screen–sadly Wes Anderson movies weren’t being screened at Bay Plaza in the Bronx at that time–Jerry Springer’s Ringmaster was though, which I did see. 

Down By Law (1986): I’m sadly coming to realize I’ll never see Tom Waits live on stage at this point. He didn’t tour for Bad as Me, and that seems like a wrap. So, I’d have to settle to watch his best movie on the big screen. Also, it’s my favorite Jarmusch. Oh, and if you have the time listen to his new song with Massive Attack, “Boots on the Ground.” 

MAY SCHEDULE

Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter, you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out for May:

Free Feed:

May 5th  – The Devil Wears Prada (2006) with Chelsea Jupin

May 12th – First Knight (1995)

May 19th – Urban Legend: Final Cut (2000)

May 26th – Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Patreon Episodes:

May 4th – We Love Movies: Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

May 14th –  MELR0210: 90210: “Little Fish” (s4, e3) Melrose Place: “Boxing Sydney” (s4, e19)

May 18th –  Too Old For This Shit: Daredevil: Born Again Season 2 Recap Episode

May 19th at 8pm EST – WHM After Dark: Come with your questions at the ready and spend an hour hanging out with the gang!

May 20th  – Animation Damnation: Star Wars: Darth Maul – Shadow Lord (2026):  “Chapter 1: The Dark Revenge” (s1, e1)

May 21st – The Gleep Glossary: Jango Fett

May 22nd –  Too Old For This Shit: Punisher: One Last Kill

May 28th  – The Nexus: TOSTAS: “Bern”(s2, e2) TNG: “Silicon Avatar” (s5,e4)

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

In case you missed it we opened our Patreon Shop we released the previously unavailable Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter virtual live show for purchase on our Patreon shop! This was such a fun show and it'll be awesome to revisit or experience for the first time as you get to talk us gab about (one of) the best entries in the Friday the 13th canon! You get a new introduction recorded by us, the show from that night, and an audio file of the whole thing so you can enjoy the show again on the go!

You’re keeping up with our Youtube channel, right? We’ve been releasing mailbags and a few On-Screen lives, it’s been a total blast. We’ve always got some more stuff planned so subscribe to never miss a broadcast!

Also, speaking of Video Content, are you aware We Hate Movies is on TikTok? We are @whmpodcast! We’ve got some kick-ass short form videos releasing there, on the aforementioned Youtube page, and of course on Instagram! These are short, super fun ways to relive your favorite bits and share on these platforms to get new folks into the show too! All credit for these amazing videos goes to Alyson, who goes by @gnarcissist on TikTok! Follow her! 

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our new and improved merch store on Dashery! We have some new, super fun designs by Felipe Sobreiro such as the Total Recall Live show logo, a pair of vaguely gross ones like “Hot Out the Hole” and “The Coin Slot” and the Barbarian Scaredycats design! We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month! 

Take it easy,Andrew, Chris, Eric, and SteveWe Hate Movies